Through A Mirror Darkly
by Teris Xenite
Summary: In which Mirror Kirk decides that he wants Bones. And we all know that James T. Kirk of the ISS Enterprise gets what he wants.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Be warned. This story is going to be dark as all get out. I'm talking manipulation, seduction, and questionable consent. I'm talking pitch black might give you nightmares. Might have to post it somewhere that has a higher rating than M dark. But that's what Mirror Kirk wanted, and what the dark one wants he gets. Cause really dude is scary. Seriously though, do not mistake this for my normal fluff. If you want happy/fluffy Bones/Jim check out Golden Dreams. Otherwise, I owe the idea to the ST XI Kink Meme, and draw eternal inspiration from the Brightness Burns series, which is quite possibly one of the best things I've read ever.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

"Whatever it is that you want can wait. This woman was almost killed again! Why do I even bother to patch their sorry hides up if they won't at least give them proper time to heal between interrogations?"

"I would imagine because your captain told you to. At least that is what I'm expecting to happen when I give an order, else wise things will become very unpleasant for you Dr. McCoy."

At the sound of his voice, Bones flinched and looked up. "Captain." There was no apology, no protestation that he had not realized who he was talking to. That was one thing he did so enjoy about Bones, he was far too proud to beg that easily. Three years in the academy together as roommates had instilled in them a very healthy respect for each other. Jim respected him because he had access to the most deadly poisons to man and could make your death look like an accident. McCoy respected him, because he'd seen him cleave a Klingon's head from his shoulders and then sit down to diner paying no mind to the blood that dried on his skin or the dead body twitching on the carpet.

"We need to have a conversation in private Doctor. Finish up with Yeoman Rand, and meet me in my quarters."

"Yes sir."

Jim felt himself harden as McCoy called him sir. Little did the good doctor know that he'd be calling him that and more very, very soon.

*********

Jim waited for McCoy in his cabin with a very nice snifter of brandy that had miraculously not been poisoned yet. He looked at the picture on his comm screen slightly bemused that his pursuit of the good doctor would end tonight. He'd shown his hand too early in their relationship, and McCoy had felt comfortable enough in the fact that Jim wouldn't have him killed to refuse a place at his side. While he had to admit that was intriguing, it was also frustrating.

Jim Kirk was not a patient man. He'd never had to be before. Most fell over top of themselves to gain the favor of the Empire's favorite son. With the family connections that his mother had ruthlessly exploited and grown upon his father's death, the large fortunes that came from the family's extortionist tendencies, and the relative safety that came from being joined with a family as influential as Kirk's had become, very few would deny him. This coupled with the fact that he obviously felt an attraction to him, made the doctor's refusal fascinating.

He looked down on the reports that littered his desk, the one most interesting at the moment was the one indicating the death of Jocelyn DeWinters formerly McCoy. It appeared that Marcus DeWinters was nowhere near as forgiving as the good doctor, and had murdered the bitch when he'd caught her cuckolding him. DeWinters had ceased all of Jocelyn's assets, and disinherited Joanna. And just because he felt like being a contrary bastard, had blocked both Jocelyn's and McCoy's relatives who had attempted to intervene on the girl's behalf.

Things were looking rather dire for the little one, because as valuable as he found McCoy, he did not have the clout within the Empire to remove DeWinters. Kirk on the other hand, well typically when Jim Kirk wanted someone dead they ended up that way very quickly. DeWinters would be no exception. Before Bones had even been informed of the situation, Jim had put the pieces into place to protect the child who had Leonard's eyes. Now he need only make Leonard aware of this timely intervention.

******

It didn't take long to destroy the doctor's soul. A moment's greeting at the door, then a few scant minutes to read and understand that his ex-wife was dead. A sharp gasp and a moment of sheer terror that crossed his eyes when he remembered that the bitch just had to marry up, which meant that he had absolutely no chance of stopping anything that this man had planned for his little girl. The moment when he realized why Kirk had called him here, and what his only option was if he wanted to see the most precious thing in his world come out unscathed.

Jim saw the lump in Leonard's throat and watched as he tried to form the words to beg. While he'd thought that was what he wanted, faced with it actually happening it just felt cheap somehow. He could win this way, but it was too easy. And felt far too much like force, and while he wasn't above manipulation, he had never condoned rape. He was James T. Kirk. If he couldn't manipulate you into wanting him in some fashion, then he didn't want you, and you probably didn't have a pulse anymore anyway.

He held up a hand to halt the man's words. "No Leonard. I could break you with this. You'd beg, you crawl, you'd do anything that I asked you to, just to spare that little girl one moments pain. You know that, and I know that." He stepped closer crowding the man and stroked a finger down the stubbled cheek consideringly. "I'm not going to do that though. I am going to ask though, why precisely haven't you ever sought patronage? I mean Cupcake I can understand. The man is butt ugly with no redeeming factors. I can see why he has to tough it out alone."

He looked over McCoy's long frame, letting him feel the favorable judgment and lust in his eyes. "But you? You could never have to worry about something like this again. Not have to worry about some bastard fucking with your baby girl, messing with your mother, or that pretty little sister of yours that hasn't figured out yet that you and yours can't get her out of half of the trouble that fiery mouth of hers can get her into." The only sign that his words had an effect was the quick inhale when he mentioned his little sister's big mouth. _Had some trouble with that one in the past Len? What a pity._

"That moment of panic you felt when you realized that you couldn't do a damned thing to save your little girl? You never have to feel that again. All you have to do is ask, yet every offer you've ever gotten you've turned down." He chuckled darkly. "Hell you've even turned me down. And I can tell that you want me. So what's stopping you?"

The stony silence remained. And so Jim sighed and tapped his cheek softly. "Ok Len. You take this. " He handed him a capture of Joanna. "And go think about what I've said. I mean really think about it. This, this was your one freebie. I won't interfere again unless you've given me a reason. And we both know Doctor, that you and yours are going to need intercession again, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point everyone does. You got lucky this time, because I was in a good mood and felt like making a point. Are you willing to chance that someone else will be so obliging the next time you're in need?"

*********

AN: See I told you Mirror Kirk was a bastard, and a crafty one at that. Let me know what you think. I've never written anything quite like this, so I'm not quite sure how this one's going to be received. Definitely going to lose me my membership to the sunshine and rainbows club though. More likely on the way soon, cause Mirror Kirk is a demanding dom even as a muse.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Be warned. This story is going to be dark as all get out. I'm talking manipulation, seduction, and questionable consent. I'm talking pitch black might give you nightmares. Might have to post it somewhere that has a higher rating than M dark. But that's what Mirror Kirk wanted, and what the dark one wants he gets. Cause really dude is scary. Seriously though, do not mistake this for my normal fluff. I owe the idea to the ST XI Kink Meme, and draw eternal inspiration from the Brightness Burns series, which is quite possibly one of the best things I've read ever.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

McCoy sank onto his bed holding a bottle of bourbon and the capture of Joanna. He traced the freckles on his baby girl's face and sighed while taking a deep sip of his drink. He hadn't imagined that he was going to end up his CO's bitch when he joined the fleet. Hell if he'd wanted to do that, he could have stayed in Georgia. But thanks to Jocelyn, he was in a damn precarious position. Which only served to remind him just how easily someone who was reluctant to kill indiscriminately was taken advantage of in this world, but despite the fact that he'd suffered for it before and would again he couldn't bring himself to regret that he could not so casually take a life.

Yet he could regret the fact that he was in this spot now, because of the situation that his ex-wife had put herself and his baby girl in. He was really trying to find some grief for Jocelyn, but given the situation it was difficult. He considered the points that Kirk had brought up, of course he'd been considering them for half the night and most of a bottle of bourbon. No angle he approached them from made them any more favorable though.

It wasn't that Kirk was the worst that he'd seen, certainly within the officers of Starfleet. Well at least not with people he liked, and he was fairly certain that Kirk liked him or he wouldn't have survived refusing him as long as he had. He'd never to his knowledge injured his partners more than an occasional slap or punch, which was nothing compared to the patch up jobs he'd preformed on the admirals pets. Now granted, the man was deadly. He'd seen the pile of dead bodies that trailed behind Starfleet's youngest captain, and he was certain that there were many, many more that he would never know about.

Not he thought that any of that really mattered. You didn't get to be a captain, much less keep the job as long as Kirk had by being nice. At the same time he'd had every opportunity to have McCoy do anything he wanted, willingly, which come to think of it seemed to be one of the man's kinks. But he'd just made him an offer, granted there were some small threats interspersed with the offer. And there was really any way to refuse the offer without bad things happening, but if this had been any other captain, he'd have been bent over the desk back at the academy willing or not.

He wasn't sure what made Kirk want him so badly, but he seemed sincere enough in his pursuit. And he had saved his little girl without making it contingent on his servitude, or making him beg the favor. He did have to have a patron, as much as he hated the thought, to prevent the very things that Kirk had mentioned. As much as the thought of surrendering that much control made his skin crawl, he had to acknowledge that unless he wanted to start trying to leave a bloody path behind him, he needed someone with a reputation bad enough to scare off those who would hurt his baby girl. Kirk certainly sufficed there.

He sighed. He was going to accept Kirk's offer. He knew it, and he was sure Kirk knew it before he sent him out of that room. He had him by the short hairs. He'd never forgive himself if harm came to his baby because he'd been proud. It wasn't like Kirk was repugnant. There had been a stirring of interest back at the academy, but then there as the Kilingon incident. As a general rule when he had a choice he didn't tend to associate with people who beheaded others and then sat calmly down as if the bloody mess in the center of the carpet wasn't a big deal.

Now it looked like he didn't have much choice. And so he proceeded to enjoy his last night as a free man, accompanied by his bourbon and the hopes that he wasn't about to make a very large mistake. He curled up in his bunk, and if the picture of Joanna bore a few water marks the next day it surely had to be from the condensation from his whiskey glass. It had to be, everyone knew that Starfleet officers did not cry.

AN: Up next chapter Bones offers himself up to Kirk. Let me know what ya'll think so far. Also what kind of master do you think mirror Kirk would be?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: The definition of patronship that I'm using comes from and is as follows 'Roman History. the protector of a dependent or client, often the former master of a freedman still retaining certain rights over him.' Hmmm. I wonder what kind of fun Kirk and McCoy can have within that context.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

The next night at 2100 McCoy stood in front of the Captain's door. He told himself that his knees were not shaking and he certainly wasn't nervous. Oh who was he kidding? He was fucking terrified. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pictured his little girl's smiling face. _Daddy, loves you baby girl. You'll never know how much. _With her in mind he lifted his finger to the buzzer.

"Whatever it is had better be important." McCoy winced at the annoyance in Kirk's voice. That tone normally ended in someone being bloody in his sick bay. He swallowed and hoping that none of the misgivings and wariness he felt would make it into his reply. "It's McCoy, Captain." He did not get a reply, but the door slid open and he took that as a sign to enter.

Kirk stood holding a wicked looking sword. He smiled, then flipped the sword in his hand before sheathing it and walked closer to McCoy. "Hello doctor, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" He had expected smug superiority, and was flabbergasted by the cordiality. Particularly when he and Kirk both knew that there was no need. He'd known that Kirk could be charming when he wasn't out for blood, that along with a pair of the bluest eyes in the known universe, and those pretty boy good looks of his had been one of the reasons that he'd moved up through the ranks so quickly. But he still couldn't figure out why it was directed at him.

"Come now doctor, there is no need to be shy, what could you possibly have needed to discuss with me at this time of night?"

"I've been thinking about what you and I discussed yesterday." He swallowed heavily under the intense gaze and resisted the urge to shift around uncomfortably. He felt his heartbeat quicken when Kirk started slowly stalking towards him.

"Really, that's wonderful. And what conclusions did you arrive at with all of this thinking of yours?" By this point he was standing only a few inches away. Close enough to touch, and McCoy felt himself lean slightly towards him. No longer able to maintain eye contact his eyes drifted down landing on the full lips. Realizing that looking at Kirk's mouth was the last thing that he needed to do if he wanted to get through this conversation sometime tonight. He jerked slightly and forced himself to meet Kirk's eyes once again.

He attempted to swallow his nervousness. "I thought about what you said. And you're right. I can't protect my family, and if you hadn't intervened, I couldn't have stopped what would have happened to my little girl. You've said that you won't intervene again, unless I've given you a reason. So I'm here to give you a reason."

Kirk's lips quirked slightly. "And how exactly do you propose to do that Doctor?"

McCoy breathed in sharply through his nose. So much for generalities, the bastard actually meant to make him say it. "I find myself in need of a patron, sir. I was wondering if you would be interested in utilizing my services."

In answer Kirk's hand tilted McCoy's chin upwards and tangled his fingers in the short fringe of hair at the back of McCoy's neck. "I would be honored to be your patron Dr. McCoy." With that Kirk pressed his lips to McCoy's and Leonard felt fire scorch from his mouth all the way down to his toes. A strangely gentle tongue at his lips countered by a more forceful thumb to the hinge of his jaw prompted him to open his mouth. The fingers entwined in his hair left him nowhere to escape to and the kiss rapidly gained in heat and intensity. Finally when McCoy was clenching Kirk's shoulders, and both were becoming lightheaded from lack of oxygen Kirk pulled back.

"You do realize that I have no intentions of ever letting you go, don't you?" Kirk spoke with a casual breathlessness.

"Yes sir, I had gotten that impression." McCoy felt the nervousness rise in the pit of his stomach as he watched Kirk's smile widen.

"That's right, you're all mine now aren't you?"

"Yes sir." McCoy felt an unwilling blush spread across his cheeks. This brought Kirk a great deal of pleasure if the twinkle in his eyes was any indication. He felt Kirk's hands go to the sash at his waist and begin to work at the knot that he'd tied there, while his lips pressed against his again. Just as the kiss was beginning to deepen, and his sash was about to give way under the Captain's questing fingers, the intercom beeped.

"Bridge to Captain."

Kirk continued his exploration. "Bridge acknowledged."

"Klingon armada reported on the starboard bow Captain."

Kirk pulled away from his sport with a scowl and a frustrated growl. "Someone is going to die for this." He grabbed McCoy by his shirt, and gave him a short fiery kiss, a mash of teeth and lips and frustration. "Wait here. I'll be back shortly. Apparently the last several hundred dead Klingons wasn't enough of a display for them."

McCoy watched in silence as Kirk went whistling through the door. When he was sure that he was alone, he sank down onto the side of the bed, and clutching his head in his hands acknowledged the undeniable truth. _I am so fucked._

AN: I hope you enjoyed this. I've never had a story want to be written quite this badly before. In our next chapter, McCoy finds out what exactly being James T Kirk's thrall really means. Once again, if you're enjoying the story please do let me know. Kirk is a rather vain fellow, and your kind comments make him preen so prettily.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Kirk is somewhat romantic, and you get an inkling of how mirror McCoy got his nickname.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk stumbled into the room hours later, battered, bare chested, and practically bathed in the Kiligon captain's blood. McCoy woke from his uneasy sleep at the sound of the door sliding open. Seeing Kirk covered in blood brought him to his feet like a shot. "Where did they hit you?" He grabbed Kirk's arm and began to twist him to and fro looking for an injury that would account for the large amounts of blood that seemed to be dripping off of Kirk as he walked.

"Easy McCoy, none of its mine. I had to persuade the Kiligons that heading back to their side of the border, and sending us a very large tribute in recompense for their transgression would be in order."

"Padding your retirement fund?" McCoy looked quizzically, as a tribute from the Kilingons was normally exacted in blood not coin.

"Not exactly, they pulled me away from a very important engagement, which I had been looking forward to for quite some time. If they thought that I was letting them get away with disrupting our evening they were insane."

"Are you sure you're not injured?"

"Damn McCoy, you're a healer down to your bones aren't you?" He shook his head mockingly. "Yes I'm sure that none of its mine, now go back to bed. I'll join you when I get out of the shower." At McCoy's head tilt he sighed. "McCoy, I'm many things, egotistical, cruel, maniacal, and quite possibly the most brilliant mind that has ever conquered worlds for the empire. What I am not is oblivious to the fact that I reek of Kiligon gore at the moment, nor am I philistine enough to want to sleep, or anything else while smelling that way. So unless you've got a burning desire to help me wash my back, I'll see you after my shower."

With that parting comment he turned and walked away from McCoy who damn sure wasn't following. He headed back to the bed and tried to prepare himself mentally for what would surely come when Kirk got out of the shower. Though he supposed he should be grateful that he was taking the time for hygiene. There would have been many an officer who would have come to an underling expecting service in such a state, and god it was still hard to adjust to thinking of himself as someone's chattel.

He tried not to jump when he heard the shower stop running. Instead he lay still and quiet and tried to remain calm. He'd promised, and more than that he'd promised willing participation. He felt his stomach lurch, he wasn't sure he could go through with this. _No._ He reminded himself harshly. _You have to go through with this. Think of Joanna! _He heard the door to the bathroom open, but Kirk's footfalls were so soft that he had no way of knowing where he was in the room. He felt instead the bed sink under Krik's weight, and waited for the inevitable.

He couldn't help the flinch when Kirk's arm wrapped around him and pulled him close. Nor the shock when all that he seemed to be doing was cuddling down and going to sleep. He waited tensely a few more moments, and Kirk hissed in his ear. "For fucks sake Bones, relax. I've been up 36 hours straight, and spent the last eight of that fighting Kiligons. Now well earned reputation aside, the best I'd have in me at the moment would be a quick and dirty fuck." The arm that twined his waist tightened. "And if you think that I've waited five years for a quick fuck that I could have gotten from any back alley whore, you are distinctly mistaken. You're virtue is safe for the moment, so for fucks sake go to sleep and stop acting like I'm going to jump you."

After a few moments in which McCoy began to believe him he started to relax, and finally fell asleep. Jim smiled as he heard McCoy's breathing even out. _Progress. Sleep well McCoy, you're going to need it._ _Tomorrow you're going to find out exactly what you've gotten into._ Jim settled down enjoying the soft snoring by his side and the warmth radiating from the sleeping man beside him. For the first time in many years James T. Krik fell asleep with a smile on his face. Victory was sweet. Tomorrow was going to be a very interesting day.

************

AN: For those of you who are seeking smut…it's coming, I promise. But like Kirk said, he's been waiting for five years. The man is playing the long game, and means to enjoy his victory. A lot. In many positions, on many planets and on pretty much every surface of the ISS Enterprise. How do I know? Because he told me, and it was very, very hot. Another (longer) update will be coming tomorrow, provided I still have power (huge eastern coast snow storm). As always if I made you happy share the joy and let me know ;).

Preview: Joanna/Bones interaction, banana chocolate chip pancakes, and Jim gets a surprise that he finds most pleasing.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which McCoy finds out just how generous 'Uncle Jim' can be.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

McCoy had to be dreaming. That's the only reason that he could think of that he'd be able to hear Joanna's laugh on the Enterprise. He attempted to burrow deeper into the pillow with the intention of at least enjoying the dream. This plan was to prove unsuccessful. A hand shook his shoulder roughly. "Rise and shiny lazy Bones, there's someone who would like to talk to you." One eye reluctantly opened, and as he took in the sight of Kirk and the Captain's quarters he remembered exactly what had happened the day before.

"Come on McCoy, you'll enjoy this."

He sat up and raked a hand through sleep tousled hair, and in that moment Kirk remembered exactly what he had wanted this man so very badly for so very long. For the moment it didn't seem a prudent course of action as what he had in mind would set a very bad example for their audience. "Daddy!" McCoy's eyes shot to the screen and drank in the sight of his smiling little girl. He'd never seen McCoy when he was truly happy, never seen a look of such adoration._ I will though. Before this is over, I will see you look at me like that._

"Baby girl, what a wonderful surprise."

Joanna smiled and twirled one of her pig tales. "Uncle Jim said you'd like it. I miss you daddy."

"I know baby, I miss you too. Where are you?"

"I'm with Grandma, I start my new school tomorrow. It's big and pretty and they have art, and I get to take riding lessons and Grandma says I never have to see mean ol' daddy Marcus again."

"That's wonderful baby, are you having a good time with grandma?"

"Uh-huh. I'm glad that I get to stay here with her. She's lots nicer than daddy Marcus. We're making you a sweater. Grandma says it's cold in space, but Uncle Jim told me that he'd make sure you stayed warm."

"Did he now?"

"Uh-huh, he promised. He said when you come home on shore leave that he'll take the two of us out for ice cream, and that you can see my pony."

"I can't wait baby girl." At that point a smiling lady with grey curls came on screen along with her. "Hello son."

"Hello mama."

"You're looking well, they treating you alright up there?"

"Yes ma'am. Everything alright with ya'll?"

"Yes son, we've got Jo here with us now. Your friend was most helpful. He seems like such a nice young man, I can't believe those horrible things that they were saying about him on the holonet."_ And I hope to god that you'll never have a reason to know that they're all true and more mama._

"Now mama you know what they say about gossip."

"Yes son, I know. Len, I hate to do this, but we've got to go take Jo shopping for her school things before the stores close, but we'll call you on Sunday? Would that be alright?"

"That'd be wonderful mama, thank you. Take care of her for me."

"I will son, you take care of my boy now ya hear."

"Yes ma'am." Joanna piped in waving vigorously. "Love you daddy!" "Daddy loves you too baby girl." He watched the screen until the image had faded away. Then he turned slowly to Kirk, who'd been standing watching McCoy's expression throughout the conversation with great enjoyment. "Thank you." There was an amazed slightly incredulous tone in his voice, and Jim found himself greatly looking forward to exploiting his ability to give McCoy gifts if it got him this type of reaction.

Not wanting to over play his hand Kirk shrugged. "I figured you'd want to see her. It's one thing to hear that she's safe, but you wouldn't really believe it until you saw her. Feel better now?"

"Much thank you." And he found to his surprise that he wasn't lying that he really did feel like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Good. Now come have some breakfast. We've got things to discuss."

**********

McCoy hid his surprise at the scene before him. The Captian's quarters of course held a table for those times when the Captain elected not to subject himself to a possible assignation attempt by eating in the communal mess, or for such occasions that the Captain wanted to discuss a covert operation. But to his knowledge Kirk had rarely if ever used the space for actual meals. He tended to be the type to follow the please have the balls to try to kill me in my own mess hall approach. The, I'll see to it that you only scream for days instead of weeks for the attempt when you fail, because I can respect the level of audacity that it takes to try to kill me in public, remained unspoken.

Now however the table was set with breakfast for two. Krik's typical heart attack on a plate, fried eggs, bacon, hash browns and biscuits and gravy sat before his seat, while a stack of chocolate chip banana pancakes and fruit set in front of his place. Kirk walked past him and took his seat, and when he was still standing in the door way as Kirk placed his napkin on his lap. He grinned and waved him over. "Do you plan on actually having breakfast, or were you planning on staring at it all morning?" He shook himself off, walked over and took his seat. Kirk smiled and began dismantling the plate before him, and baffled by the surreal nature of the events McCoy slowly cut into his pancakes and brought them to his mouth.

There was something that he was missing, there had to be. Some secret agenda, some grand plan. Instead though, the only thing that he could find was a smiling pleasant Captain and a stack of what had to be the best pancakes since his last shore leave at home. Come to think of it, these tasted exactly like his mothers, and how had anyone on the Enterprise, especially Kirk, even known he liked them? They were a carefully hidden guilty pleasure.

"Enjoying your pancakes?"Kirk asked casually over the rim of his coffee cup.

"Enough not to point out that the plate in front of you will put you in an early grave, yes. They're my favorite. Do I even want to ask how you knew that?"

"Joanna was very helpful in telling me some of daddy's favorites. And your mom was kind enough to forward the replicator file." He pushed some papers with a pen lying on top of them across the table. "I need you to sign these."

"What are they?"

"The enrollment forms for Joanna's new school. I looked into the one that Jocelyn had her in, and there was no way that was your choice."

"No, it most certainly wasn't." McCoy frowned remembering the argument that he and Jocelyn had over that particular issue, in which she had informed him in no uncertain terms that if he didn't have the balls to keep her faithful, he damn well didn't get to make any choices involving her daughter. It had truthfully been one of the few times that he'd contemplated murder. Only the fact that he knew he wouldn't get away with it, which would leave Joanna in the grasp of Jocelyn's parents who would not have been an improvement, had stopped him.

He looked down at the papers in his hand. They were for a school that he had in fact considered, before being forced to acknowledge that it was well above his ability to provide. Top of the line instruction in the arts, sciences, and political arts, optional diplomatic and equine programs. Also one of the few private schools in the country that didn't utilize agonizer treatments as discipline. He had to admit. He was impressed.

"So daddy, everything meet your approval?"

"Aside from the fact that she's going to be spoilt rotten? Yes."

Kirk smiled back at him conspiratorially. "Well yes, of course she's going to be spoiled. She is going to have the life that all parents want for their children, because she has a daddy who loves her very, very much, and an Uncle Jim who can and will make sure that she lives a charmed life."

"Only one thing that's a bit odd."Kirk raised his eyebrow and gestured for him to continue. "There is no way that you've gotten all this settled before breakfast. How long had you been planning this?"

"Since I found out that your slut of an ex-wife was stepping out on the soon to be departed DeWinters. Once that happened it was only a matter of time before she got caught. And being the type of man that I know Marcus to be, he wasn't going to let an insult of that majority pass. So given that I had everything arranged so that when the need arose the transition could be as smooth as possible for her."

"That's a lot of effort just to prove a point."

"Yes, but I had faith that if your good sense didn't lead you to me, in the end your gratitude would have." He looked over at McCoy and let himself enjoy the sight of the still sleep mussed hair and residual happiness from talking with Joanna. "Let me make one thing clear from the beginning of this. No matter how angry you may make me, no matter how badly you transgress, I will not touch your child. Joanna is safe. She remains happy, because we have a mutually beneficial arrangement. But no matter what, she is safe."

McCoy nodded his understanding. Kirk then looked over at the chronometer and stood, McCoy rising with him out of long engrained habit. "Alpha shift starts in 30. Go grab a shower, you'll find fresh clothes on the right side of the closet. I'll see you here tonight at 1800." He reached over and skimmed his fingers over McCoy's jaw. "Don't shave. I like you scruffy." He graced McCoy with another of his scorching kisses and then walked out the door whistling. McCoy resolved to make his shower cold, and thought that perhaps service in hell wasn't quite so bad as he'd imagined, if the staccato beat of his heart was any way to judge.

AN: Ok so we didn't quite get to the surprise that Kirk is just going to love. That'll be in the next chapter, which will be posted soon, provided that I finish grading my students' exams. Also I'm thinking of a Christmas short in the Mirror verse with these two in an established relationship. Anyone interested?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Jim finds out one of McCoy's secrets, and McCoy learns some ground rules. The hard way.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

0900 ISS Enterprise Bridge

"Captain, you may find the articles being accessed in the computers external data arrays most intriguing." The Vulcan stood with his hands behind his back. _Wordy son of a bitch, would it have killed him to opt for the simpler, Captain someone is accessing something interesting on the internet? _

With a slight incline of his head to acknowledge both receipt of message and the uneasy, abet grudging respect that he had for his first officer, he turned to access the data report. _Now what's this? And coming from Med Bay too, McCoy you secretive son of a bitch. How precisely did you keep this bit of information a secret for so long? _The bridge crew did their best to ignore the maniacal smile that their Captain wore, that look never promised anything pleasant.

0930 ISS Enterprise Med Bay

McCoy looked over from where his hands were buried in the chest of an unlucky crew member who was stupid enough to insult Checkov's native Russia within his hearing. The boy had managed not to kill the poor bastard, but only just. He'd still be in for a lengthy and painful recovery , and McCoy would be in for a long day of work. Hopefully that buzzing on his comm wasn't all that important.

1200 ISS Enterprise Bridge

Kirk tapped his fingers impatiently on the arm rest of his chair. No reply from McCoy. That would not do. That would not do at all. The ship was flying through empty space at the moment, so he relinquished the con to Spock and proceeded to make his way down to Med Bay to determine what was keeping the good doctor from answering his calls. _For his sake he'd better hope that it's work related, or I'll blister his ass so badly that he won't be able to sit for a week._

When Kirk reached Med Bay he could hear the good doctor's orders ringing through the space. He heard him growl as some part of his activity did not turn out as planned, and the sound went straight to his cock. He found an inconspicuous view point, where he could see McCoy wrist deep in the dumb bastard who'd pissed Chekov off. _Well at least it's job related, looks like I'll have to find another reason to turn that ass of yours red. No need to worry though, I'm sure that you'll give me a reason soon enough._

Kirk smiled as he fingered the small item that he had in his pocket that he'd picked up from his quarters. _McCoy you don't have any idea what you've gotten yourself into. _ As he stood fantasizing about all the things that he planned to do to Leonard McCoy's very delectable ass, the good doctor finished his work and stepped back from the unconscious man. He stripped off the gory gloves and mopped his brow. At that moment his portable comm link chose to chime again. He picked it up from the counter where it lay, and Kirk watched with a sick sense of glee as the man's eyes widened when he saw that he had four messages from the Captain, starting with the rather innocuous 'McCoy, we need to talk' and progressing to the more distressing 'McCoy where the fuck are you? Do not make me come down there.'

"Ah fuck me." Bones groaned. Seeing that the last message had been sent almost an hour ago. He about jumped out of his skin when Kirk, who had been walked up behind him grabbed him and pulled him flush against his body.

"Well now I'm certainly willing to oblige you that, though I didn't think you were that much of an exhibitionist."

"God damn it Captain, don't sneak up on people like that." McCoy jumped away largely from surprise, and Kirk let him go.

"I came to see why you weren't responding to my calls." He watched McCoy pale before attempting to explain.

"I'm sorry about that Captain, but I was in the middle of surgery and couldn't answer my comm."

"Yes I saw. And as you were doing your job, there will be no punishment for it this time. We'll have to work out something better than personal comm links in the future. For the moment though, we need to have a conversation. Your office will do nicely."

"Of course Captain." McCoy gestured for Kirk to precede him into the office, and wasn't surprised when the Captain ordered the room locked with his override code, nor when he lowered the shades. Kirk merely lounged on the couch and looked at McCoy intently.

"I believe that I've shown my commitment to this arrangement of ours at this point. I think it's time that you do the same doctor. Bend over the desk." McCoy's cheeks flushed but he bent over as requested. He had known that this was going to come sooner or later, and he would get through this. He had to. It helped slightly that he had turned his face so that he could see the framed picture of Joanna on his desk. _Daddy loves you baby girl. You'll never know how much._

Kirk watched the tight line of McCoy's back as he trembled resisting the urge to flee. He didn't miss the growing tension or panic that was occurring in the man's supine form. Decided that as fun as watching was touching would be even better. He walked around to stand behind McCoy, and lowered his uniform pants and underwear around his ankles. He was right in that McCoy's ass was one of the finest that he'd ever seen. But as tempting as taking what was being offered up in front of him was, this secrecy was not something that he planned on letting McCoy get away with. Still he thought no harm in letting the man sweat a bit.

He unfastened his own pants, and allowed his aching cock loose from its confines. He placed a firm hand on McCoy's lower back pressing him tightly to the desk, while letting his cock trail along the exposed cleft. "Are you ready McCoy?" The man beneath him tightened and flinched at the question. He shouted out loud in surprise when instead of the painful invasion that he had been expecting a sharp smack landed on his upturned ass. "Tell me McCoy, exactly when did you plan on telling me that you'd never done this?"

"What?"

"At what point did you plan on letting me know that you were a virgin, or did you not plan on telling me at all? I mean you just thought that I was going to fuck you dry, with no preparation whatsoever and you weren't even going to admit the very prudent fact that you've never done this before?"

"Why does it matter?"

At this question Jim grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around to face him. The predatory blue eyes burned into him. "I'm going to give you some leeway, because you're new at this. Don't make stupid questions like that one a habit. It matters because while I will not promise that I won't light your ass on fire should you disobey me, or engage in the occasional night of rough play with you when I'm in the mood for it, I don't intend to hurt you. And when I do it damn well will be intentional, and controlled enough not to do any lasting damage."

Kirk pointed angrily at the desk. "This, this was stupid, and something that you will be punished for should you repeat. What could have happened there, that would have done some very serious damage McCoy. That does not please me. In the future you are to tell me any information that may be pertinent to my dealings with you. I don't care if you think it's important, that is not for you to decide."

He reached up and stroked the stubbled jaw gently, before sharply grabbing McCoy's chin. "You're mine now. And I take care of that which is mine. Which means that if you endanger your own well being in any way, you will be punished for it. Do you understand me?"

McCoy fought the urge to look down. "Yes sir."

"Good, now turn back around." This time a gentle hand pushed him down and he felt the cool wood of his desk against his cheek. There was a sound of something wet being squirted from a bottle, and then he felt it. The first exploring finger probing his entrance with a surprising tenderness, he hissed from the unusualness of the feeling as he was stretched. After a few moments, a second finger joined in and he felt a moment of panic at the tightness that bordered closely on pain. "Sh, hush now McCoy. This isn't going to hurt, just relax. You'll be grateful for this later I promise."

After an indeterminable amount of time the fingers were removed and he released a sigh of relief. Then he felt it something cooler than flesh, and more blunted was pressing at his hole. Kirk carded a hand down his side letting his nails scratch lightly as they went, which helped to partially distract him as Kirk began to work what he presumed was a toy into his tight channel. After a moment's discomfort, the widest part of the toy was inside him, and he felt the strange fullness of having something within of him once again. This time it stayed when Kirk pulled away.

Hands repositioned his underwear and pants, and then he was turned to face Kirk again. "You are to leave that in until 1500 hours. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, at 1500 hours you are to excuse yourself, and remove it. Then you are to insert this one." Kirk held out a slightly larger plug. "Use this when you change them." He handed McCoy a bottle of lube. "You are to be wearing this," he held up the larger plug, "Tonight when you meet me in my quarters. Do you have any questions about these orders?"

"No sir." McCoy couldn't resist the color that filled his cheeks.

Kirk smiled at him and placing a hand on the nape of McCoy's neck pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. "That's my boy. I know that this is hard for you, but you're doing very well." He stepped away from McCoy, leaving the man shaken, with knees that threatened not to support him. He gave him a dismissive wave. "I'll see you tonight McCoy. Don't be late." He then left his office whistling a happy tune that was more terrifying in many ways that than intimidation tactics could have been.

McCoy had been prepared for brutality. Resigned himself to rape and degradation. But this, this scared the hell out of him. He'd expected quick fucks and being forced to his knees and bent over nearby objects that, that he could understand and deal with. But this, this consideration with the lingering promise of things to come, this was driving him crazy. He sank down slowly onto his desk, only to jump up with a yelp as the movement put uncomfortable pressure on the object inside him.

He slowly tentatively sank into his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose trying to stave off what was going to be one hell of a headache. He could feel the toy inside him every time he moved, and the ticking of the clock seemed to get louder with each passing second. _What the fuck had he gotten himself into? _

AN: See, I told you that the smut was coming. Kirk is very pleased with himself (watches him preening for the 1800 meeting). He hopes you enjoyed his show too, any comments will be used to fuel his modest ego, and provide McCoy with a more timely initiation into the possession of one James T. Kirk. Also for the upcoming Christmas fic, what do you think Kirk would get McCoy for Christmas? What would McCoy get Kirk? I have some ideas for this bit, but am interested to see what ya'll can imagine for the gifting bit.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Jim lays claim, and McCoy is rendered incoherent.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

By 1500 McCoy was so jittery that he wanted to scream. Ever since Kirk's earlier visit and the insertion of the toy he had been hyper aware of an area of his body that he normally did his best to ignore. It didn't matter if he sat or stood, he could still feel the object, and even though he knew that it was paranoid he felt like everyone else who saw him knew that he was wearing it. Matters did not improve any as he excused himself from Med Bay, and proceeded to his quarters. The first toy was easy enough to remove, but the insertion of the second one even with the lube proved difficult as he couldn't help but tense the already tender muscles.

Finally after multiple attempts and great deals of frustration, he managed to get the toy in, only to be faced with further difficulties. While the first toy's presence had been ignorable for the most part, this one being both newly inserted and larger drew his attention to its presence with every heartbeat. He knew that in reality he should be thankful for the consideration that Kirk was showing him by letting him become accustomed to this slowly, but that did little to assuage the humiliation of walking down the hall all the while tightly clenching to keep the toy from sliding out and embarrassing him in front of the crew.

After six hours of such feelings, he was almost relieved to be standing at Kirk's door. At least whatever he had planned was likely to be private. At promptly 1800 McCoy rang the bell at the Captain's door, and after a moment it slid open to allow him entry. Kirk was reading over reports at his desk, and looked up at McCoy with a satisfied look on his face. He put the padd down, and sat back letting his eyes roam over McCoy. "Right on time, have a seat."

He watched the change in McCoy's gait as he walked across the room and the careful way that he lowered himself into the chair with satisfaction. "Any preferences on dinner?" McCoy shook his head, all the while trying to figure out exactly what was going on. "You look like you could use a drink? Rough day cleaning up Chekov's mess?"

McCoy was still trying to process why exactly this was looking far more like a date, and far less like a Kilingon brothel, when a rocks glass with a generous severing of bourbon was sat in front of him. The fact that Kirk knew his liquor of choice didn't register as a surprise anymore. McCoy barely noticed as Yeoman Rand brought in a cart with dishes. She placed one in front of each of them, and Kirk dismissed her with a wave. When she'd gone he picked up a scanner waving it over the dishes, after a few seconds the scanner flashed green. "She's learning. No poison this time." He pulled the lid off of his meal and indicated for McCoy to do the same. "So tell me doctor, how are things in Med Bay?"

The meal continued with Kirk asking McCoy questions, probing topics ranging from the sports team that he preferred, to what he thought of the latest research in the Journal of Terrain Medicine. McCoy tried to form intelligent responses to the Captain's questions, but found it difficult distracted as he was by what he was expecting to happen, as well as confusion over why it hadn't happened yet.

"McCoy." McCoy cursed to himself, apparently he'd been distracted and the Captain had finally taken offense. "You've been distracted and bad company all night. Now I'm sure that's just nerves, but you will improve on that in the future, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." _Why the hell do I need to be a good conversationalist? You got your fuck toy Captain, isn't that enough?_

"Confused aren't you? Things not going precisely as you'd expected them?"

"I just thought…"

"You thought that I'd bend you over a table or make you suck me off occasionally and that would be that. This isn't that simple McCoy, and while that will happen, probably frequently, that's not all I want from you. Did it ever occur to you that part of the reason that I wanted you, was because of that brilliant mind of yours? Or that one of the biggest reasons that I chase, is because for some reason despite all logic and contrary to every intelligent choice you could make, you keep running."

McCoy looked at him dumbfounded, and while he was still trying to process a response, he saw Kirk move, and then he found himself on his back on the ground with the Captain pinning him very effectively with his wrists held over his head. _How the hell did that happen?_

"Tell me McCoy, could you break free if you had to? Why don't you try?" McCoy did try to unseat his Captain, writhing and bucking in the process, but eventually had to concede that he was very well trapped. When he stopped struggling Kirk brought one hand down from where he held his wrists and trailed his fingers along McCoy's cheek. "Now, do you have any doubt, that by virtue of the fact that I am Captain of this ship and you despite your many skills are not a soldier, I can physically overpower you at pretty much any time?"

McCoy gritted his teeth, before grudgingly replying. "No, sir."

"That's not what this is about McCoy. So stop acting like you think there's a Kilingon hiding behind my chair." He rolled easily off of McCoy, and extended a hand to help him up. Once McCoy was on his feet, he pointed to the table. "Now, finish your dinner. You're going to need your strength."

McCoy righted his chair and sat down, noticing for the first time what was actually on his plate. Oysters, leafy green salad with a garlic dressing, and fettuccine alfredo with shrimp. _Let's see, Zinc, B12, and pretty much every other 'aphrodisiac' food known to man. Could you be any less subtle Captain?_

The food wasn't bad, and once he was no longer distractedly picking at it, it disappeared rather quickly. Kirk continued asking him questions and his responses came a little easier. Once he'd finished his dinner, Kirk placed his napkin on the table, and pushed back from the table. "Now see, that wasn't so difficult, now was it?" Rising gracefully, he turned away from the table and headed for the bathroom. "Take off your boots, and follow me."

McCoy took off his boots, rose woodenly, and followed at as slow a pace as he dared. When he entered the room, he felt the warmth of the steamy shower that Kirk already had running. Kirk crooked his fingers. "Come here." McCoy shuffled over to the indicated spot, and looked down not wanting Kirk to see his resignation in his eyes. He didn't resist the fingers at his sash, nor the hands that skimmed his shoulders as he removed his shirt. And only a faint trembling could be detected as his pants were removed. His underwear and socks were next, and he couldn't help the flush as he stood naked before his fully clothed Captain.

"Very, very nice." Kirk stepped into his personal space again, and ran his fingers down his spine slowly, before teasing along the top of his ass. His hand drifted lower, coming to rest over the toy that he'd inserted earlier. "And obedient too, it looks like you did a good job following my instructions." His fingers grasped the base of the plug, and slowly proceeded to work it out, causing McCoy to whimper involuntarily. The plug popped out loudly and Kirk inspected it absently before tossing it into a vat of what McCoy hoped was disinfectant.

Kirk's hands came to his own sash, and he slowly stripped himself as well, following the same order as he had with McCoy. McCoy couldn't help but stealing a look at the Captain's cock, which was in his medical and personal opinion very sizable. He was mostly successful in fighting off a shudder, and the remainder of it was interpreted as a chill by the Captain. "Get in the shower." McCoy complied hissing at the temperature which was just shy of scalding. Kirk followed him in, and slicked his hands with soap before pressing McCoy up against the wall.

Kirk's lips met his in what could only be considered possession. The kiss was impatient, through, and seemingly intended to make sure that not a single millimeter of McCoy's mouth was left unexplored. While the kiss continued, Kirk's hands proceeded to trace a path over his neck, down over his chest, stopping to gauge the sensitivity of his nipples. The possessive growl that Kirk had released when McCoy's hips jumped in response to the stimulation, promised much more exploration at a later date.

At this point Kirk's hands skimmed his sides, and one continued to McCoy's very unwilling erection, and the other trailed over the small of his back before plunging into McCoy's already stretched hole. When he whimpered at the thrusting fingers, Kirk's hand grabbed his flagging erection and stroked up and down in time to the thrusts. Meanwhile the Captain's mouth had never left his.

The two fingers inside him were continuously dancing between pleasurable and painful, until they brushed something inside him that felt like a lightning strike. His knees trembled and he froze tensed around Kirk's fingers. Kirk chuckled lightly. "Feels good doesn't it McCoy?" He couldn't help but keen as the questing fingers inside him prodded that spot over and over again. That combined with his dick being expertly pumped by Kirk's fist, soon had him panting his hips bucking into Kirk's touch.

"That's it McCoy. Come for me. Shoot your load all over my hand, while my hands up your ass. Come on McCoy, come for me right damn now."

McCoy went rigid, and then he felt himself come into James T. Kirk's waiting hand. When he finished breathless and trembling, Kirk removed his fingers and gave his dick one final stroke. He pushed McCoy against the wall letting him slump there as he tried to catch his bearings. "Consider that a gift McCoy. The next time you come, you have to earn it." He pressed another kiss on McCoy who was far too tired to resist. "You see McCoy, ever since you made your deal with me you've been so caught up in the thought that I was going to hurt you, that you forgot one very important thing. I can. I can have you crawl bare assed and covered in come from here to the bridge if I wanted to. I can, but that doesn't mean that I have to. Or that I will."

He followed this with a lazy slap to McCoy's ass. "Now, go towel yourself off and get on the bed."

AN: Judging by the lack of response to the last chapter, I'm going to guess that story is taking turns that people weren't expecting, or might not be comfortable with. I personally agree with Kirk in the first chapter, he could rape McCoy. Could physically make him do pretty much anything, could even make him do so willingly because of the situation with Joanna.

But to my mind, James T Kirk is a contrary bastard, no matter the universe. Pike dares Kirk to get on a shuttle, and do something no one thinks he can do. His response, I'll beat every record you've ever had and laugh at you while I'm doing it. For Mirror Kirk, I see this applying to McCoy's constant refusals (we'll hear more about those later). You don't want me? Fine I'll make you scream my name so damn loud they hear it on Vulcan. It's not just the sex for him, even though that part is damn hot, it's also about making someone who had rejected him want him. The more reluctant they are to start with, the better.

Anyway, next chapter: Kirk sets about ridding McCoy of that pesky virginity. Also coming soon, Mirror Christmas time, whatever does a good thrall get the master who literally has everything and everyone they desire? As always if you enjoyed reading, let me know. We don't want Kirk to get performance anxiety now do we?


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which McCoy finds that he might have gotten more than he'd expected, and Jim is very happy.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

McCoy heard the shower stop running, and waited for Kirk to arrive. While he was sure that it was only a couple of minutes it felt like an eternity. Since he had been given no order that conflicted it, he had crawled under the sheets, and so did not feel quite so exposed. Kirk smiled when he walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and another one with which he was using to towel dry his hair. "Well now, aren't you modest? We're going to have to see if we can't change that."

"I'm sorry. Afraid I'm not much good at whoring. I'm new to it after all." Ah, there it was. He'd been wondering when the doctor would find his ability to maintain his historically grumpy demeanor. The compliant and amenable routine had been getting old fast.

"Now, now, now Bones, if you're going to use a word at least get the semantics correct, wouldn't Uhura be disappointed in you? You're not whoring. That would require quid pro quo or money changing hands. This is you insuring that I'm well pleased with you, so that the next time you need someone dealt with, I'll be inclined to intervene. That being said, I'll give you this one last chance to back out. If you can live with the risk of what might happen with you all by your lonesome, feel free to walk out."

A very long heartbeat in which McCoy looked at the door and weighed his options, finally with a resigned sigh he stilled, and looked expectantly at Kirk. "No? I thought not." He walked over to the bed, pulled back the sheet, and dropped both towels negligently by the bed. "Of course I wasn't really going to let you go in any case." He let his hand trail along McCoy's chest. "You doctor are all mine now."

"Possessive bastard aren't you?"

Kirk chuckled softly at that question. "You have no idea Bones, no idea."

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Come now doctor, how many times have you heard the whispers? Doctor McCoy's brilliant, but his career's shot. He won't torture anyone, he's a healer down to his bones. Given the givens I think it's only appropriate that I have a nickname for you? Don't you think?"

McCoy gave him a dark look and his jaw set. Apparently he was getting exactly what he asked for, the man was here by choice, but he wasn't pretending to be happy about it. _Oh well, I can work with that._ He guided McCoy into the center of the bed by grasping his hips, and lightly tugging. Then he ran his hands up McCoy's body, up his arms and brought his wrists above his head. A soft length of rope was tied around them, and McCoy couldn't help but flex against them testing them. That got him a light slap to the chest. "Now none of that, you're not getting loose until I let you out. So I'd suggest you stop struggling and get comfortable."

He pulled a thick pillow over and sliding a hand under McCoy's hips gestured for him to raise up. McCoy did so, though Kirk was certain that he could hear his teeth grinding as he slid the pillow underneath them. Kirk leaned down, and stole another kiss, biting at McCoy's lip as he pulled away. He stroked the inside of McCoy's thighs, before pushing them up towards McCoy's chest. "There now. That's perfect." He reached over, and grabbing a bottle of lube began to coat his cock.

"Just perfect, I want to see your face when I fuck you. Want to be able to hear you moaning my name without it being muffled in the pillow. I want to see your eyes while I do this." He stroked his cock and lined himself up with McCoy's entrance. Glacier blue eyes met and held his as he slowly slid inside. Kirk stilled once he was fully seated and leaned down to whisper into his ear. "Now see, that's not so terrible is it?" McCoy had tensed, but there was no sign of pain, no tears or struggles, so Kirk assumed that the preparation along with that whiskey and shower had served their intended purpose.

After a moment's stillness, both to let McCoy adjust to his length and girth, and to keep from embarrassing himself by ending the evening prematurely, he began a slow and steady rhythm designed to make McCoy's eyes cross. He'd wanted the man ever since he'd sat down beside him on the shuttle with the announcement that he might throw up on him. He had been intrigued when the doctor had listed all the dangers of space travel, and claimed that he was in Starfleet because his wife had taken everything else. He'd become more so when his logical suggestion of 'and why precisely didn't you see to it that she had an accident, instead of leaving the planet' had been met with a look of derision.

Ever since he'd realized that McCoy wouldn't be an easy lay, he'd wanted to bed him. He'd wanted to turn that look of disgust into a look of desire ever since he'd found out that he really did believe that the world should be a kinder gentler place, where patients weren't left screaming in agony to reiterate the lesson learned, and that he hated Kirk and those like him who routinely sent battered and broken bodies his way. He'd had a couple of near successes after he'd hacked the rooming assignments and ended up McCoy's roommate.

This progress ended after what he'd come to refer to in his mind as the Kilingon incident. Honestly what was the big deal about him killing a Kilingon and then finishing his dinner before calling to have the body disposed of? It wasn't like he was going to be any deader by the time he finished his meal, and Starfleet replicator food was swill the first time around, which meant it really sucked reheated. Still reasonable or not the good doctor had given him a wide berth after that, and he found that didn't please him at all.

He wanted nothing more than to get a reaction out of this man. McCoy meanwhile was merely lying there reluctantly but willingly accepting what was happening to him. Now granted had he been blissed out and incoherent of rational thought this passiveness might have been an acceptable option, but this clearly was not the case. He wanted a response from the man, and if it could not be the supreme devotion and adoration that he desired, he supposed vitriol and hatred would have to do. And so he threw out something that was guaranteed to get a reaction from the man beneath him.

"You should thank Spock tomorrow. He was after all very helpful in providing me detailed instructions as how to prepare a virgin."

"You told that green blooded pointed eared hobgoblin about this?" McCoy growled.

Kirk smirked back at him enjoying the tension in the man and loving the way that he was starting to resist, bucking his hips out of synch with Kirk's and staring daggers at him. With McCoy's newly sparked rage and the glares that he was receiving Kirk began to thrust harder, and reached to where McCoy's cock was just beginning to stir. "No, actually you did. Real subtle net searches you had doctor." He watched McCoy flush, and the dark eyes deepen with restrained hatred.

He angled his next stroke to slam directly into McCoy's prostate, making him gasp even though his eyes were still condemning him to the fiery level of hell. "Ah there you are, I was wondering when you were going to get pissed enough to knock off the meek and mild inoffensive bullshit."

"Isn't that what you wanted?" McCoy asked facetiously.

"If I wanted spineless and weak, I'd have paid a lot more attention to the Yeomen." He slammed his hips forward and McCoy gave a grudging grunt of pleasure. "That's right, it feels good doesn't it Bones. You hate me, and even still you want this. Before this night is over, I'm going to make you scream for me."

"I said that I'd be here. I never said that I'd want you." McCoy glared as Kirk smirked in response to that.

"I think you're protesting too much Bones." He reached out and grabbed McCoy's erection. "This really feels like you don't want this."

"I hate you."

"I can work with that. And despite the fact that you hate me, you do need me, and more than that you want me. I never said you had to write me love songs, or get doe eyed."

"Not in this century, you bastard." The comment trailed off as Kirk managed to hit exactly the right spot on his thrust inward, and twisted his hand on the upward stroke as he pumped McCoy's cock. The banter fell away as Kirk began focusing on the way that McCoy ass gripped him and the twitching eagerly responsive dick in his hand. The pleasure was rising, and though McCoy resisted valiantly, he was having little luck holding out against Kirk's expert stimulation.

The unwilling moans, the reluctant whimpers, and the involuntary pants stirred Kirk's blood as little else, and before long he tensed above McCoy filling him with wave after wave of his come. McCoy shuddered around him, and thrust unwillingly into his hand. "Want something Bones?" He received a growl in response. "Now now, I told you that you'd have to earn the next one. Tell me that you want me."

McCoy glared at him and his jaw was firmly clenched against the words. Kirk sighed and removed his hand. "I was really hoping that you'd be smarter than that McCoy. Blue balls will make the remainder of the evening very unpleasant." He reached into his nightstand and pulled out a small ring. "I know that you're resourceful, and since I can't have you finding another way around this I'll just have to make sure that you can't relieve the pressure on your own."

He held up the cock ring in McCoy's line of sight. "Now what's it going to be? Suffer through the evening with blue balls and a dick hard enough to cut steel or admit the truth. You do want me, you know it, I know it. Is it really so very hard to say it?"

He stroked upwards again and ran teasing fingertips through the precome that had gathered at the head of McCoy's cock. "No? What a pity. Blue balls it is."

As he stretched the cock ring over his fingers and reached down towards McCoy's cock, McCoy hissed. "Wait."

"Yes?" Kirk asked expectantly, with his hand poised just above McCoy's dick.

"I-" McCoy stuttered, caught between the misery of being left suffering for god knows how long, and the humiliation of admitting that he desired a man that he despised.

"I'm waiting." Kirk said impatiently.

"I want you." The words were ground out and guttural and McCoy closed his eyes against the shame of his admission. He felt the color rising in his cheeks, and hated that it had come to the point that not only did he want the sadistic bastard, but that he was willing to admit it.

"See that wasn't so hard now was it?" He began stroking McCoy's cock again, causing his hips to lift from the bed. "Now tell me that you're mine." McCoy's breath hitched as he sped ever closer to his completion. "Who do you belong to McCoy?" More stimulation, and McCoy's world was reduced to little more than sensations. "Say it McCoy. Say it."

"Yours, I'm yours." His breath hitched on the last word as came covering Kirk's hand and his belly. Stars erupted in his vision, and he shuddered violently, the satisfaction all the more intense for the teasing and lingering arousal that had come before it. Calloused hands well practiced in causing pain ghosted over his skin, bring him back to reality. A glass of water was pressed to his lips, which he drank thirstily, and he felt hands guiding his legs down onto the bed.

Kirk slowly pulled out of him noticing the slight wince as he did so. "Sore?" Kirk would be surprised if McCoy could sit tomorrow, despite his lack of brutality. Even after all of the preparation McCoy had been so very tight.

"Always did say you were a pain in the ass."

"Be damn glad you're good in bed McCoy. If I wasn't in an exceedingly good mood, I'd have to beat you for being such a smart ass."

"Well wouldn't you know, the terrifying Jim Kirk undone by his dick, who would have thought?"

Kirk laughed. "Silly Bones, it takes more than sex to put me in a good mood, the thrill of knowing that you'd never done this, being satisfied with the fact that you can't hide your emotions, that's part of it as well. There is something refreshing about knowing that your reactions are honest." He tapped McCoy's cheek gently. "Forget all that trash you found on the interweb. Most of it was wrong, as I'm sure you figured out. I'll teach you what you need to know."

"How kind of you." McCoy drawled. Kirk ran his hands up to where McCoy's hands were bound. Instead of untying him however he stroked the center of his palms.

"Got any tingling or numbness here?" When McCoy shook his head he smiled. "Good. I think it's time for your next lesson then." McCoy's eyes widened at the insinuation. "No way in hell that you're ready again this soon. No one's refractory period is that short."

"What can I say doc, the sight of you writhing around my cock, those little growls and noises, they are fucking hot." Kirk spread McCoy's legs farther, and bound them to the bed with lightly padded leather cuffs. "Plus I did say I was going to make you scream for me before the night was out. Wouldn't do to go back on my word now would it?" McCoy looked down, and found that Kirk was miraculously hard again, he bit back a groan. This was going to be a long fucking night.

AN: Alright. I've spent more time tweaking this chapter than you'd believe. Mirror Kirk is a demanding bastard, but we'll forgive him cause one he's gorgeous, and two if we don't he'll kill us. McCoy's snark is beginning to make a reappearance, as one he knows now that Kirk won't punish Joanna in his stead if he mouths off, and two Kirk hasn't slapped him for it yet. Now for the insecure author moment, I'm relatively new at writing guy on guy smut, and D/s stories. If I'm doing it right let me know, and if I make some glaring mistake let me know.

Next chapter: McCoy breaks a rule and Kirk is not pleased.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy breaks a rule and Kirk is not pleased.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

McCoy experienced a sense of disorientation the next morning when he woke. There was a warm body pressed against him, and he could tell that his body was going to protest loudly when he tried to rise. He'd used muscles that he didn't even know that he had last night, and felt his face heat as he remembered the previous night's events. Kirk had been true to his word. He had made him scream, had made him beg, and to his great shame had made him come with such frequency that his dick was sore this morning from the stimulation.

He shifted a bit and felt the stiffness that was to be expected after having spent hours with his arms bound above his head. He had to admit that Kirk had taken care with that aspect though, periodically testing to insure that his extremities hadn't lost circulation due to the bonds he'd used. His throat was scratchy from the screaming, moaning, and growling he'd engaged in. And his wrists and ankles bore slight abrasions from his struggles while Kirk had fucked him.

His neck was littered with bite marks, and hickies, almost all of which would be visible while wearing his uniform. He shuddered remembering Kirk's ultimatum the night before. _Now Bones, I intend to let other people know that you're mine. I can either do that with these, or I can slap a collar and leash on you and parade you through the ship. Now which will it be? _ Bones shuddered, and had allowed himself to be marked in a less embarrassing, but no less obvious way.

When the evening's festivities had wound to a close, he had made to go back to his quarters, only to be grabbed by the arm as he started to get out of bed. _Oh no, you're not going back to you quarters. You're going to stay right here. _A warm arm had looped itself around his shoulders, effectively pinning him. This led him to his current state, hemmed in by a warm body and trying to process just what had happened the night before.

It wasn't moonlight and roses, but truth be told, if he'd gotten that from Kirk he may have died from shock. Unexpectedly the man had been true to his word in Med Bay. He hadn't hurt him, there were some lingering discomforts remaining this morning, but he hadn't been hurt. Embarrassed, yes. Frustrated, yes. Hurt, no. There had even been pain, but nothing that lingered more than a bit of residual soreness that would likely be repaired by a warm shower.

"Now what pray tell has that look on your face this early in the morning?"

"Just not a morning person."

"A nice hot shower and some breakfast should fix that." McCoy grumbled as Kirk manhandled him in the shower. When Kirk added a few new love bites under the warm spray, and his soapy hands proceeded to wander over pertinent bits of Bones' anatomy, McCoy didn't complain. The rest of the morning's preparations were undertaken with a sense of pleasant lassitude, and in relatively short order they were dressed for the day.

"Come on McCoy, I'll buy you breakfast." McCoy blushed as he took in the unmistakable evidence of the night's activities that were exposed by his uniform. Seeing McCoy's blush and intuiting the reason for it, Kirk smirked. "That's right, it's time to let the crew know about our little arrangement. These speak rather nicely for themselves don't they?" Kirk backed him into the wall, and engaged him in a fiercely possessive kiss. "By the end of this day everyone on this ship is going to know that you belong to me."

McCoy found it interesting that Kirk kept manically stating what both of them already knew. "You're enjoying saying that aren't you?"

"You could say that. Look at it this way, at least people will show up for their appointments without you having to bitch." At his questioning expression Kirk raised an eyebrow. "Come on Bones, would you piss me off to ditch a hypospray?"

"Don't suppose that will increase my chances of getting you to Med Bay in a timely manner?"

Kirk rolled his hips against McCoy's with a motion that screamed carnal sin, and replied. "I don't know, maybe if we work on your bedside manner. Think of all the fun that we could have in Med Bay, you've got medical restraints, stirrups, catheters. Do you really want me to come to Med Bay, Bones?"

"Catheters are not sexy damn it."

"No, but it did keep you from pestering me to come to Med Bay. I'll come when I need to. Besides, you'll be seeing a lot more of me off duty now. I'm sure somewhere between the sex and blow jobs that you'll find the time to continue sticking me with the plethora of hyposprays that you're so fond of. In the meantime, I can hear your stomach from here. Let's go grab breakfast shall we?" McCoy glared but nodded, and the two of them proceeded to head to the communal mess.

McCoy tried to ignore the looks that he was receiving as he walked a half step behind the Captain. He heard the shocked whispers as people accurately assumed that he'd warmed Jim Kirk's bed last night. In the time that Kirk'd been Captain of the ship, he'd had numerous flings on various and sundry planets, and while it was rumored that he had been involved with members of his crew, none of them had ever been confirmed. And of course no one would have the courage to ask directly.

As the two sat McCoy did his level best not to wince as the position caused an intimate twinge in remembrance of his activities the previous night. McCoy realized that Kirk had punched in a breakfast order for both of them, and bit his tongue not to snipe that unlike the twits that the Captain normally fucked he had enough brain cells to read, and could order his own breakfast thank you very much. Considering the fact that there were multiple people watching, he wasn't going to risk it, he doubted that the Captain would be nearly as forgiving of the sarcasm when there were witnesses present. Yeoman Rand brought over their trays, and McCoy raised an eyebrow at the sheer volume of food that Kirk had requested. "Trust me, you had a very vigorous night, you're going to need a lot more than your typical 'healthy' breakfast."

Rand obediently stood by the Captain's side where he pulled a pocket scanner and checked both plates for unknown substances, poisons, and allergens. When the scanner indicated that the plates were clear, Kirk gestured to Rand. "No poison this time, much better. You're learning." He dismissed her with a wave and gestured for McCoy to begin his meal. Somewhere between taking the lid off his eggs, and picking up his coffee cup, McCoy wasn't sure which, Kirk heard something that bothered him.

A few seconds later a knife flew at Kirk from behind, McCoy shouted out a warning, but Kirk had already been in motion. He had his assailant pinned, even more quickly than he had McCoy the night before. The young man, an Ensign by the looks of it, was on his stomach with Kirk straddling his back and pulling his arms behind him. "Now Ensign, I'll give you credit, you've got balls. But that was just sloppy. There is no room for sloppiness on my ship. Am I understood?"

A sharp twist to the boy's arm had him gasping, and McCoy winced as the loud popping of a shoulder coming out of joint was heard across the mess. "I said am I understood Ensign?"

"Yes, yes sir." The boy stammered pain leaching into his voice.

"Good. Mister Chekov, please escort this moron to interrogation. "Punishment is to last a week, nothing irreparable, and nothing fatal. Otherwise, I'll allow you your discretion."

"Aye aye sir." With that Kirk sat down, rescanned his meal in case it had been poisoned in his absence, and then picked up his coffee cup. He then calmly engaged McCoy in a discussion about the supplies that needed to be requisitioned for Med Bay. McCoy for the most part tried to ignore the growing unease that he felt, and the strong sense of oh my god what have I done.

ISS Enterprise

Med Bay 1200

McCoy looked down at the dying creature in front of him. He and his staff would be hard pressed to save this one, and the prognosis was looking grim for the rest of his group. One side of a local faction had prostrated itself to the Empire, and were willing to pledge both a large percentage of their crop yields, which would be impressive enough. To sweeten the deal they'd promised the prisoners from the rival faction as slaves to the Empire. You couldn't tell the difference between factions when they were bleeding out though, and freedom or slavery was still a better outcome than dead.

As the one in front of him coded he cursed, called time of death, and with a quick change of gloves was on to the next critically ill being. He wasn't even sure what they were called, but their insides were human looking enough. Their blood was slightly less viscous, and smelled a little odd, but it none the less stained him up to his elbows in crimson. It was, he admitted to himself, going to be a very long day. He sighed and continued trying to salvage the remains of relatively senseless conflict, and lost himself in the rhythm of staunch, sterilize, and stitch.

ISS Enterprise

Bridge 2400

Kirk rubbed the back of his neck. He could easily decimate a population. He'd done it. Granted it was easier when the creatures that looked like lizards instead of humans, but despite the humanoid appearance, these creatures were simplistic enough mentally to justify elimination. It was a kindness in a way, they were doomed to a life of bare subsistence, superstition, and war otherwise. It would be by most of the data that he was aware of at least a millennium before these creatures reached what could be considered a civilized state.

While there was less call for it in his line of work, he was good at diplomacy. He was one of the best at bullshit and chicken, both of which were main components of diplomacy. He could convince people of his points quite well, for example convincing the Admiralty not to execute Spock for his actions in the Nero situation. The defense that he'd offered had served a twofold purpose, one it got him a kick ass first officer, who had no desire to advance to a more likely to be assassinated position, who was good enough at defending himself that he didn't have to worry about people making it into the position. Secondly, it placed the remainder of the Vulcan counsel farther into his debt.

While he had both of these skills in spades, rapidly cycling between the two of them was taxing. He'd negotiated with the side that had pledged allegiance to the Empire and threatened the side that opposed the Empire. And damn if he didn't have to check the color of the shirt that the leaders were wearing on video conferences to be able to tell them apart. The fighting was bloody, the negotiations thorny, and after sixteen hours of it he was tempted to blow the planet to hell and call it a day.

He left the con to Spock, who was looking smug about a Vulcan's ability to go without sleep as Kirk couldn't help an involuntary yawn. He walked into his quarters expecting to find McCoy asleep already. He found instead that the room was dark, and the bed was untouched. He went and took a shower to get rid of the pounding headache that was plaguing him. After allowing himself an indulgently long shower he toweled himself off, and got dressed in his casual clothes. Then he proceeded to look for McCoy.

He could have easily found him utilizing the ship's computer, but after a long day he felt like taking a walk through his ship. He took a leisurely stroll down to McCoy's quarters, only to find them very dark. He took a stroll down to the communal mess, grabbed himself a snack, and taking a moment while there to leer at Uhura. There were no teeth to it however, as he generally avoided poaching from people who could potentially best him in combat.

After McCoy's quarters and the mess, he traveled through the observation deck. It was a highly unlikely location to find the good doctor given his fears. That is unless he was avoiding Kirk, in which case he probably would have been in the last place that he could be expected to be. This bore no fruit, and so he headed down to engineering, thinking that the doctor might have wanted a nightcap from Scotty's still. Well, actually the hypothetical still, the one that he didn't know anything about so long as a non-poisoned bottle of the brew from each batch made its way to his quarters. When that proved futile he decided to check on what he considered to be a long shot. There was no way that McCoy was still in Med Bay, not this late. A check of the closest data point to him revealed that it was approaching 0200, which would place McCoy in Med Bay for twenty hours.

Med Bay 0220

McCoy finished work on his current patient. The creature was stable now and stood a good shot at surviving. He stepped back removing his gloves and wiping his brow, looking around for his next patient. He started when he saw Kirk staring at him intently from the wall. "Captain, what brings you here?"

"How long have you been here?" The statement was casual, and gave McCoy no clue to the level of annoyance that he felt at McCoy's disregard for sane work hours. These creatures weren't worth him running himself into the ground, and he damn well wanted the ships best surgeon rested in case a member of his crew needed attention, not burnt out on charity cases.

"Since this morning, it's my job remember?" McCoy was confused. They had made no plans, and he'd been given no orders to be in a specific place this evening. Surely if Kirk had expected him, he'd have told him.

"Are you aware of what time it is McCoy?" This statement utilized the tone of voice that the Captain reserved for particularly slow diplomats, and the occasional childlike race that required explanation not extermination.

"Sometime into Gamma shift I'd imagine, why?"

"So you've been here for more than twenty hours?" McCoy nodded, and Kirk glared. "And from what I can gather you haven't taken more than a five minute break during that time, and haven't eaten since breakfast with me at 0700 yesterday. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Did I not clearly explain that if you endangered your well being in any way that you would be punished?"

"It was necessary. Those people needed help."

"I'll determine necessity here. You have a full medical staff Doctor. Are they incompetent?"

"What? No, of course they aren't."

"Then why pray tell did you find it necessary to work more than twice the allotted shift, depriving yourself of sleep, and skip meals for the entirety of this period?"

"I lost track of time, there were so many."

"And while you were working yourself to the point of exhaustion, you had staff members who were off duty that could have been recalled. Why did you not do so?" There was a moment of silence. "You didn't think about that did you?" He walked over and stroked McCoy's cheek. "I told you that if you neglected to take proper care of yourself, that you would be punished." McCoy started to protest, to bring up the fact that a larger number of the creatures would have died had he not been there, but Kirk forestalled his comments with a hard look.

"There will, I acknowledge, be times in which you literally are too busy to eat, or too overworked to sleep. I am not completely unreasonable. I won't punish you for that which you really can't help. But this was not unavoidable. There were steps that you could have taken that you did not. Because of that you are going to be punished. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

McCoy felt a sharp slap to his ass, and was glad that Med Bay was mostly deserted at this hour. "Yes what?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now turn over your duties to the doctor who should be working this shift and be in my quarters in twenty minutes. Your punishment will increase for every minute that you are late. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." He turned, only to be stopped by Kirk's voice.

"Oh McCoy, it's only fair to point out that should I have to come down here again tonight, I'll administer your punishment in the middle of Med Bay. Do I make myself clear?"

McCoy shuddered at the idea of being humiliated in front of his staff, and discredited in front of his patients. "Yes sir, I understand."

Captain's Quarters 0250

Kirk sat waiting for McCoy, feeling his annoyance growing with each passing minute. He really had been looking to a shower, a nice meal, some slow sensual sex with McCoy, and then a good night's sleep. Instead, because his doctor couldn't delegate, and couldn't stand to leave a patient waiting, he had to track down his bed mate, and now was going to have to administer McCoy's first punishment far earlier in their arrangement than he'd intended. He'd hoped that they'd have a few more meltingly hot encounters first, so that McCoy wouldn't pout so much after he punished him.

He was in no mood to enjoy turning McCoy ass a rosy red hue, but a rule had been broken and first times set precedent. If he wanted McCoy to take him seriously, he had to punish him as he'd said that he would. Still, he could be put out by the fact that the doctor's timing was abysmal. On another night the feeling of McCoy writing on his lap while he paddled him would have been too hot for words. He looked over at his chronometer. _Already five minutes late. What am I going to do with you McCoy? If I didn't know better I'd swear that you were pushing me on purpose._

McCoy finally arrived eight minutes over the mark that Kirk had set for him. He walked into the quarters not looking anywhere nearly contrite enough, and Kirk felt his hand tingle, the urge to set McCoy's ass ablaze rising. However now that the crisis had passed McCoy looked dead on his feat, and Kirk wasn't sure if punishing him now would have the desired effect.

McCoy stood there uncertain as to what he was supposed to do, and wavering visibly on his feet. After a few moments to allow McCoy to feel his displeasure via a cold stare that was miles away from the lustful one that he'd graced him with the previous night, Kirk commanded casually. "Strip." McCoy did so woodenly, blushing under Kirk's relentless stare, and shuddering a bit as his skin was exposed to the cold air.

When McCoy was naked, Kirk stood, and walked around McCoy consideringly. "Put your dirty clothes in the hamper, and then go wash that alien filth off." The impatient tone of Kirk's voice indicated that the shower should be a quick one, and so even though McCoy would have liked to have hidden in the shower from his Captain's wrath he knew that it would be an exceedingly bad idea. And in short order McCoy stood in front of him, delicious looking despite his fatigue, clad only in a towel around his waist, and glistening with stray water droplets. Kirk reached out and snagged the towel with one hand and yanked it free. "I don't recall telling you that you could cover yourself."

McCoy blushed again at the sudden unveiling, and Kirk once again found himself intrigued by how shockingly modest McCoy was. Kirk gestured to the table. "I have no intention of letting you starve, even if it's through your own stupidity. Your dinner is on the table. I'd suggest that you eat it." Approaching the table McCoy found that he did indeed have dinner waiting. Several of his least favorite things as a matter of fact, based on information culled from both years of cohabitation, and Kirk's chat with McCoy's mother. Despite this Kirk was mildly pleased to note that McCoy didn't balk, even managing the brussel sprouts that he so despised without complaint.

When he'd finished McCoy looked over at Kirk, who's unrelenting stare had followed his every movement. "Get on the bed." McCoy gulped, but went over to the bed. Kirk walked over, shedding clothes as he went before sliding naked into bed beside McCoy. Instead of the embrace that had been offered the night before, he left McCoy his space, which only served to make him more aware of his naked state. "Tonight you are to think about why I am angry with you, and what you could have done to keep this situation from occurring. I will punish you in the morning."

With that Kirk dimed the lights, and turning away from McCoy went to sleep. This left McCoy to curl upon himself due to his discomfort with his own nudity, and the cool temperature of the room. As McCoy shivered, he wondered why precisely it mattered so much to Kirk that he'd worked a double shift. It's not like he'd hurt anyone. And so what if he forgot to eat. Missing a meal or two wasn't going to hurt him. Not in the long run. So why was Kirk so blasted concerned. The last person who'd harped upon him so incessantly to get enough sleep and eat at regular intervals had been his mother, and he knew damn well that the last thing that Kirk felt for him was paternal affection. Finally the stress of the day caught up to him, and he fell asleep considering the ramifications of why he was facing punishment the next morning.

AN: I'll be out of town for a bit, and internet connections will be spotty. So this may be the last chapter for a little bit. If ya'll enjoyed it let me know. Thanks for reading.

Next Chapter: Kirk puts McCoy over his knee.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which McCoy is punished.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

The next morning Kirk woke to find that McCoy had gravitated towards him during the night. Not all that surprising considering the fact that he'd kept the cabin cold to encourage exactly that. Seeing how peaceful and handsome McCoy looked in his sleep, Kirk almost felt bad for what he had planned for the morning. But since McCoy had to respect his word if he was going to take him seriously, he knew that he'd have to follow through with his promise. It was a shame really, he'd been looking forward to teaching McCoy the finer points of giving a blow job.

Instead he sighed and pushed McCoy away from him sending him tumbling to the floor. McCoy landed with a resounding thud, and jerked awake cursing and sputtering. "What it the hell was that?" He scowled up at Kirk who was leaning on one elbow. The fall wasn't far enough to actually cause any serious damage, but had none the less provided a rude awakening. Kirk gestured towards the bathroom. "Go take care of any business that you may have, when you're done come back here."

McCoy looked at him with a dark scowl from the floor before slowly getting up and making his way to the bathroom. Kirk grinned as he heard the man grousing to himself. He couldn't begrudge him that, given the fact that had it been him sent sprawling first thing in the morning someone probably would have been dead, and he'd still not be too pleased about it. He made his way over to his chair and sat waiting for McCoy to return.

When McCoy emerged from the bathroom, he wore a scowl that gave Kirk the incredible urge to back him into a walk and fuck him, whilst he snarled and snarked, until he was so sated that he couldn't help but be uncharacteristically sanguine. This however was not an occasion for a reward, instead because of what happened the night before, Kirk would get to gage two very important things. The first being McCoy's reaction to pain, and the second how much punishment that it took to make the good doctor contrite. He'd thought of giving a set number, but considering that he knew neither of these things, it wasn't advisable.

He could have given the punishment with a paddle or a whip, it'd be easier on his hands should McCoy prove stubborn enough to be reticent to cry out and to apologize for his wrong doing. But that lacked a certain intimacy. Kirk was fairly certain that this was McCoy's first spanking, at least since entering adulthood, and as such he wanted it to be his hands caressing McCoy's flesh, not the cold detachment of a paddle. He wanted to savor as many of the firsts that McCoy was sharing with him as was possible. He was unbelievably lucky in that regard, far more so than he'd had a right to expect, but still it was pleasing.

He crooked a finger for McCoy to come to him. Ignoring the exclamation of indignation he pulled McCoy over his knee and skimmed a hand over McCoy's ass. "Do you understand why you're being punished?"

McCoy gave a rather petulant sigh. "Because you think I broke a rule."

Kirk felt the corners of his lips jutting up involuntarily, even while facing punishment, which when administered by him had sent many a man begging in mere anticipation of what awaited them, McCoy remained defiant. There was, he mused, a reason that he'd been so attracted to this man. "Might I take it from that statement that you disagree?"

"What I did saved lives, and didn't cause any harm. So no I don't agree with you."

"And would you be pleased if I lengthened crew shifts to twenty hours and forbid meal or rest breaks during them?" There was a heavy silence before he continued. "Was the alien physiology so very different from what your staff is used to dealing with that you needed to be there personally for each and every surgery?"

"They were humanoid."

"So your staff was equipped to deal with the situation?'

"Well yes, but-"

"There are no buts, doctor. Your staff is either competent or they are not. Now which is it?"

"They could have performed surgery without my supervision."

"And had you called all your staff in?"

"No, there was no need to have them pulled from their off duty shifts."

"And did you require those who were working to stay past the end of their shift."

"No."

"So you didn't call in extra help, because you didn't want to call them from their breaks. And you didn't ask any of your staff to do what you did. Why not?"

"It would have been…" McCoy trailed off and Kirk knew that he had just realized what had made Kirk angry, at least in part.

"It would have been what?"

"It wouldn't have been good for them. People aren't supposed to work that long, they get tired, make mistakes, make themselves sick."

"And what would have happened if there had of been a situation where your particular expertise was needed? Say a member of the crew requiring the skills of our best surgeon."

"I could have made a mistake." The small defeated tone in McCoy's voice let Kirk know that his message had been received, and that McCoy was going to be heaping more misery upon himself than a punishment could ever provide. The talk before hand was actually the punishment in this case, the spanking to follow was more of a manifestation and reminder to help McCoy learn not to repeat such mistakes in the future.

"And there you have it, I'm mad at you because you endangered yourself by doing something reckless when there was no need. The Captain is mad at his CMO, because he engaged in actions that could have caused harm to the crew of this vessel. Now I am going to give you a reminder not to do something similar in the future. Do you understand?"

"Yes." A resounding slap to McCoy's ass made him jump. "Yes sir."

"That's better." And with no other warning Kirk began raining blows upon McCoy's ass. There was no discernable pattern or rhythm, so McCoy couldn't prepare himself. After ten blows McCoy was attempting to dodge the blows, but a firm hand to the small of his back kept him firmly in place. Another ten had him gasping. By thirty he was whimpering. At forty tears were streaming down his face, and by fifty he was stammering apologies and begging Kirk to stop.

It took McCoy a few moments to realize that the punishment had in fact ceased. Instead a gentle hand ghosted over his newly reddened ass, and traced soothing circles on his back. He was drawn into Kirk's arms, and yelped as the change of positions placed pressure on his sore rear. Kirk spoke softly and the rhythm of his voice and the sound of Kirk's heartbeat beneath his ear slowly brought McCoy back to reality. When McCoy met his eyes Kirk smiled. "There now, you're not going to do something that foolish again anytime soon, are you?"

"No. I hadn't thought about it that way. You were right." There was a grudging bitterness in McCoy's tone, which betrayed the fact that while he had understood the lesson, he hadn't understood Kirk's reason for punishing him. Apparently he hadn't been clear enough in explaining that he took care of that which was his, or perhaps he and McCoy didn't have the same definition of the concept. Either way it was best to begin rectifying this issue immediately.

Kirk reached up and ran his thumb along McCoy's chin. "This wasn't about me being right, this was about what was best for you. I'd forgotten how much of a workaholic you are. I'll have to keep a closer eye on you in that regard in the future. As noble as your motivations are, I'll not have you work yourself to death. I have much more pleasant occupations for you. Now go lie down on your stomach." Kirk gestured to the bed with an absent hand gesture.

McCoy rose slowly, and twitched a bit at every step. When he reached the bed he fell on his stomach with a pained grunt. Kirk walked through the room so quietly that McCoy couldn't track where he was in the room. He felt the bed dip beside him, and tensed when he realized that Kirk had returned. He tried to ready himself for what would come next, be it punishment or humiliation, but hissed in surprise when something ice cold touched his sore ass. "Hush, this will help." He looked back and saw Kirk rubbing an ointment onto the reddened flesh. It tingled, and though he'd not be sitting comfortably for a day or two, whatever Kirk was doing eased the sting from miserable to manageable.

It didn't look or smell familiar, and McCoy's professional curiosity was peaked. "What is that?"

"A remedy that a friend of mine makes for just such occasions, I have no clue as to what's in it, but it helps. If you're good I'll let you analyze it latter. That will have to wait though, since you're not on duty again for three days."

McCoy opened his mouth to protest, but at the warning look Kirk shot him he wisely stowed whatever comment he'd been about to make for a later date. "We're in open space at the moment. The negotiations and collections from the planet went smoothly, and none of our passengers or crew are in need of your expertise. Should that change, you will of course be called to duty. However baring an emergency you are off duty for the next seventy-two hours. I took the liberty of pulling up your duty roster while I was waiting for you last night. How long has it been since your last day off?"

McCoy paused and thought. "I don't know a couple of weeks maybe."

"Try six weeks approaching seven doctor." There was definite disapproval in Kirk's tone of voice. "Considering the length of time since your last day off, and the double shift that you pulled yesterday, I saw fit to give you a mandatory three day recuperation break." He lay his hand on McCoy's ass, lending his next words a particular kind of relevance. "You will not so much a look at a medical chart, medical journal, research of any kind, or anything more medicinal than a stiff drink without my say so for the next three days, or the spanking I just gave you will look like a love tap. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, now onto some more pleasant activities." Warm hands nudged his legs apart and separated McCoy's newly reddened cheeks. Fingers slick with the same ointment as before ghosted over his entrance for a moment before pushing inside of him eliciting a sharp gasp of surprise and a wince due to the residual soreness from their previous encounter. "Still a little tender?" McCoy remained silent, and Kirk removed his fingers. "You know you really are going to need to start answering the questions I ask you."

McCoy was pulled up onto his knees and felt the blunted head of Kirk's cock pressing against his entrance. "In this case I know the answer, so I'll be gentle even though you are a stubborn bastard who won't admit that you need me to be." That being said McCoy had to restrain himself from groaning as Kirk slowly slid into the sore passage, and couldn't restrain a yelp when Kirk brushed against his enflamed ass when fully seated. He was shocked however when Kirk reached around and grabbed his cock, still mostly soft from the pain of the punishment. A few slow pumps of Kirk's fist and it was returning to life.

He gasped caught between dueling sensations of sore muscles being stretched, pressure being applied to recently brutalized buttocks, and the pleasure that came from Kirk's expert manipulation of his dick. Each time Kirk thrust into him he jumped as Kirk's balls smacked his sore ass, and every time Kirk pulled out he whimpered at the friction on his enflamed passage. Despite the discomfort he found himself gasping as Kirk fisted his cock, and to his shame he found himself responding more desperately to the stimulation than any decent man should.

"Come on Bones, you're going to come for me. Even now, when it hurts, and you hate me. You are going to come for me." Kirk's hips began to move faster, and his hand kept time. McCoy felt the shudders that signaled his impending climax. His face burned with embarrassment that he was going to come like this, but then even as he fought it Kirk slammed into his prostate, and the world went white. With his hand covered in McCoy's come Kirk began slowly rubbing the liquid onto McCoy's skin making him twitch as both the pressure and the salt content caused the angry skin to sting.

The increase in McCoy vocalizations, the gasps and shudders that came with his unwilling orgasm, the whimpers at the abuse of his ass, and the rapid breath that accompanied both made Kirk's blood boil. These in conjunction with the clenching of McCoy's tight passage had him spilling his seed into the trembling man soon after McCoy's climax. Once he'd finished he allowed McCoy off of his knees, though he stayed inside of him, thrusting slowly and periodically until he was completely spent. When he pulled out of McCoy with a satisfying pop, McCoy seemed to do everything he could to melt into the bed.

Kirk however lay down beside him and wiped away the tears that had flowed down McCoy's cheeks in his shame at coming so easily under Kirk's ministrations, as well as the few that remained from his punishment. He pressed a kiss to McCoy's forehead and trailed his fingers along the man cheek, pulling him tighter as his tremors began to abate. "You've done very well. Rest now."

Exhausted both emotionally and physically from the encounter McCoy didn't even bother to resist on this order and instead turned over, curled up so that he was facing away from Kirk and soon fell asleep. Kirk slung a wrist around his waist and pulled the sleeping man close enough that he could feel the heat from McCoy's reddened ass. He smiled as he drifted off to sleep. This weekend was turning out so very well, and he still had two whole days to enjoy his prize.

Life, he thought, was very good. And all it took to get him what he wanted was one bleached blonde Georgia slut, and the whisper in the right man's ear that she'd be willing to stray if the enticement was good enough. Of course McCoy need never know that Kirk had led his errant ex to her well deserved end. That would be his little secret. It had taken years, but he finally had McCoy where he wanted him, and he damn well intended to enjoy it. The details of how he'd come to be there wouldn't matter in the long run. Before long Leonard H. McCoy would see what being his truly meant, and then he'd have everything that he wanted.

AN: Greetings everyone. I hope that the wait wasn't too miserable and that you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think of this bit.

Next chapter: Kirk lives up to his obligations, and Wynona wants a look at his new toy.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Kirk lives up to his obligations.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

McCoy woke the next morning, and winced as he stretched. He looked around the room groggily and soon his eyes landed on Kirk. "Good morning. It's about time that you woke up." Kirk smiled as he looked up from the data pad that he was reading. Kirk leaned over and pressed a kiss to McCoy's lips. "You look like you had a rough night doctor."

"What can I say this guy I've been seeing lately is a demanding bastard." McCoy was noticing that Kirk seemed to find his traditional sarcastic attitude acceptable, and this quip seemed to be no exception. Which was good, given that if he hadn't McCoy would have been in deep trouble as holding his tongue had never been his strong suit.

"Never said I wasn't, but seriously it looks like you could use a little bit of TLC." Kirk threaded his fingers through McCoy's hair, and pressed his lips to McCoy's forehead. "Come on, we're going to see if a shower helps, then we'll see about some breakfast. Sound like a plan?"

Ok, that so wasn't what he'd expected this morning. "As good as any." Kirk helped McCoy from the bed, noting the stiffness with which his partner moved. He placed a stabilizing hand on his back, and gently led him towards the bath room.

"The shower will help, I promise." At the puzzled look McCoy shot him he smiled. "I told you that you did very well, I could tell that you really meant it when you said you were sorry. So the unpleasant part is over. Part of this is punishing you when you break a fundamental rule, the only one that I've given you so far. The other is making sure that you're alright afterwards."

"You're aware of how fucked up that sounds right?"

"Not really, I may not always give you what you want. But I will always give you what you need. I will take care of you, and you will enjoy this if you let yourself. At any point during this have I broke my word to you?" Kirk met his eyes and waited while he considered the question, and when McCoy remained silent as he was unable to come up with an instance he continued. "Didn't think so. Now to the shower with you, you'll feel much more human afterwards I promise."

He steered McCoy under the steaming spray, and proceeded to lather his hands tracing up along McCoy's back to the tightly clenched muscles of his shoulders and neck. Strong hands kneaded the knots away as McCoy groaned. "I'm beginning to think that you're constitutionally incapable of relaxing doctor. We'll have to work on that." The soapy hands trailed across McCoy's chest and then approached his neither regions. McCoy hissed as the hands touched his tender ass, and winced visibly when they tentatively probed his entrance.

"Looks like it's another application of Galia's magic tonic after this then."

"Galia?"

"Her planet's primary export for centuries has been sex slaves. Do you really think that over the years they haven't developed some folk remedies for times when things get a little heated?"

"Hadn't ever really thought about it, but it does make sense. So the rumor about the two of you was true I take it."

"Which one the one where we were having hot monkey sex on every surface available at the academy or the one where she begged me to spare Spock for Nyota's sake?"

"Either?"

"Yes to the first, no to the second I had my own reasons for that one. And on the subject of our time at the academy, I've got to admit I'm very curious as to precisely how you kept that delectable ass of yours off the market. I've already seen that you suck at hand to hand, so what gives?"

At this McCoy shrugged."Access to deadly poisons. Stab the first couple guys who try with a hypo that makes their dick turn purple and develop bleeding pustules people tend to leave you alone. Doesn't hurt that the knuckle draggers are scarred shitless of medical, I played that up too." Kirk noticed that McCoy suddenly seemed interested in the patterns of tile above his shoulder.

"Mhh, but I wasn't scared of you. And you never stabbed me with a hypo either, never even threatened too. Why not? What aren't you telling me?" Kirk was fairly certain that he knew where this was going, and he was looking forward to hearing McCoy admit it.

"There may have been a rumor going around that you and I were together." McCoy didn't meet his eyes when he admitted this, and seemed almost shy about it.

"And I take it that you didn't do anything to disabuse people of this notion. Including not sending me away when people were watching, which explains a lot."

"I neither confirmed or denied." McCoy hedged.

"Which everyone took to be a confirmation especially when you factored in the amount of time we spent together. And knowing my temper and what happens when people cross me, they left you alone."

"For the most part yes."

Kirk pulled him in for a deep kiss, and only stopping when both of them were completely breathless, smirked. "It's always nice when a plan comes together."

"Plan?" McCoy looked at him mouth agape. "You planned that?"

"McCoy do you really think that a rumor went around the academy about who I was sleeping with without ever reaching me?" Kirk asked him voice pitched slow and suggestive.

"So you knew? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because it was effective, and kept me off of Pike's shit list. There were only so many times he'd let me get away with murder." He grinned. "Not only did I know about the rumor McCoy I'm the one that started it."

"You're unbelievable."

"About time you made an honest man out of me."

"It's gonna take a lot more than little old me to manage that."

"I suppose we'll see now won't we." He brushed his fingers across the nape of McCoy's neck making him shiver, and then leaned in for a kiss. McCoy felt himself begin to melt at the touch and hated himself for his weakness. But then he supposed, Kirk did have a mouth that had brought far harder men to their knees if the looks that Spock Prime furtively kept shooting Kirk were any indication. "Come on, time to get you set up with some of Galia's special brew."

McCoy allowed Kirk to lead him to center of the bathroom and towel him dry, still reeling from the fact that Kirk had been seriously interested in him for so long. Gentle hands bent him over the vanity and rubbed the ointment into the abused skin. McCoy sighed as the ointment began to soothe the ache, and the fingers that had stretched him previously rubbed the remedy deep inside him. He began panting as the fingers pressed against that pleasurable nub. "That's right. Watch yourself McCoy, watch yourself while I make you come."

Kirk's hand reached around and his eyes held McCoy's in the mirror as he grabbed his dick and started jerking him off all the while stimulating his prostate. "Feels good doesn't baby?" McCoy's deep groans were music to his ears, and Kirk smiled. "That's it, I know you're close." The combination of the cooling powers of the ointment, the fingers pressing into his sweet spot, and the hand on his dick had McCoy panting and moaning, even while he hated himself for it. His jaw clenched and he tried not to be excited by Kirk's touch, but the touch felt so good, and before Kirk it had been so very long.

"Come on McCoy stop fighting it so hard, you're so hard that you've got to be hurting. Let go." Kirk leaned into McCoy's ears and whispered. "Come on McCoy, come with my hand on your dick, and my fingers in your ass." McCoy stiffened and with a few more pulls he spilled in Kirk's hand. He closed his eyes in shame and set his cheek on the counter.

Kirk in the meantime made a show of licking McCoy's come from his fingers with the accompanying sound effects that made McCoy shudder. "Now Bones, look at me." He tapped McCoy's cheek with his fingers. And he pulled him up to face him. "Come on, open your eyes for me." When chocolate eyes met azure ones, Kirk continued. "Do you know why I had you watch that?"

"Because you're a narcissist?" McCoy growled, wanting nothing more than to sink into the floor.

"No, because I wanted you to see how amazing you look when you let go. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Everything about you belongs to me now, which means that when I give you an orgasm, let go and enjoy it."

"Why do you give a fuck if I enjoy this?" McCoy growled.

"Because if I wanted someone who'd lie back and think of England I'd have married one of those empty headed society bitches my mother's friends keep introducing me to." He pressed McCoy into the wall, and gave him a scorching kiss. McCoy couldn't help himself and the hatred that he felt for himself and Kirk both showed in his eyes.

"See there, that's what I mean. You might hate me, but that doesn't' change the fact that you want me. Doesn't change the fact that I can make you come like you never have before. And even when you can't stand me, you can't hide your emotions worth a damn, so I never have to worry if you're lying." He stroked along McCoy's chin, and let his fingers trail over the marks that he'd left in their previous encounter. "I'm going to fuck you McCoy, and whether you want to or not, you will enjoy it. Now, go order breakfast. I'll be in shortly."

AN: Ok so I'd planned to introduce Wynona in this chapter. Kirk had other ideas, and was damn persuasive about it. The next few chapters will introduce Kirk's mom, and another member of McCoy's family, as well as somebody from McCoy's past. As a side note you have no idea how weird it feels to be writing smut in my head while in the Magic Kingdom. As always if you liked it, please let me know.

Next Chapter: More Kirk and his Bones, and possibly Wynona who's very intrigued by the fact that her son has finally brought someone home so to speak.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: More Kirk and his Bones, and possibly Wynona who's very intrigued by the fact that her son has finally brought someone home so to speak.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

McCoy had been surprised to discover that breakfast had already been delivered and the sheets on the bed had been changed while they were in the shower. He felt his face color as he realized that meant someone besides Kirk had very likely heard him moaning like a cheap whore while Kirk fucked him. He felt the shame of that down to his bones, as he knew that he'd agreed to be present in Kirk's bed, but what kind of man enjoyed himself when he was in this kind of situation? Hell, before this started he hadn't even liked Kirk, and now it seemed like all he had to do was touch his dick and he rolled over and begged for him.

Kirk walked out of the shower again with a towel, and stood beside McCoy. "Janice must be even more eager to avoid more time in interrogation than I thought, excellent." He looked over at McCoy's red face and grimace and reached a hand over to touch his flaming face. "What brought this on?" His eyes followed McCoy's gaze which went to the bed and the breakfast tray that he'd keyed into be ordered before their shower. "Let me guess, worried that Janice heard us or that she now has incontrovertible proof as to what's happening here based on the sheets?" When McCoy merely clenched his jaw and refused to look at him he chuckled lightly.

"You're just precious you know that, I've never known anyone to be this modest and uptight about sex." He reached over and tangled his fingers in the hair at the nape of McCoy's neck. "I've got my work cut out for me with you don't I?" McCoy still didn't look at him, and he sighed. "Alright, if it means that much to you, I won't call her while you're here again. But you're sleeping in the wet spot."

This statement made the germaphobe in McCoy twitch as he'd expected, and he continued with a shrug. "Well it's either that or change them yourself. I have absolutely no problem fucking you while she listens in." He leaned in close enough to whisper in McCoy's ear. "Come on McCoy, just between you and me, doesn't it make you the least bit hot to think of her standing there mouth gaped open, breath quickening, pussy dripping and jealous as hell while she listens in?"

McCoy wished he was a better man, but Kirk was right when he thought about it that way he was turned on. And he had no intention of doing all the household chores. First because Kirk would enjoy it way too much, and second because the kinky bastard would probably get him a French maid's uniform. _No way in hell._ "I'm a doctor, not a fucking housekeeper. Let the bitch listen."

"Much better. Of course it would be far more believable if you weren't still candy apple red." He grabbed McCoy's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze, then steered them towards the bed. "Come on, after last night I think you've earned breakfast in bed." When McCoy didn't follow immediately he turned to give him a curious look with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "I don't bite Bones, at least not all the time, and you've seen to it that I've had all my shots. Now get over here and join me for breakfast."

McCoy reluctantly came to Kirk's side and at his direction lay down on the bed, perching on his side propped up on one elbow. Kirk climbed in beside him, and after running his standard poison check removed the lid from their tray. The first thing that McCoy noticed was an absence of utensils. The food was all individual bites, designed to be eaten with fingers. _Oh no fucking way does this bastard expect me to feed him._ He was so absorbed in his rebellious thoughts that he was taken by surprise when the first piece of fruit was pressed to his lips.

Having no real option as Kirk was watching him expectantly, McCoy opened his mouth, took the fruit from Kirk's fingers, chewed methodically and swallowed. All the while he did his best not to allow his mouth contact with Kirk's fingers, or to concentrate too much on what exactly was going on here, preferring instead the soft floating sensation that came with a complete denial of reality. The meal continued this way for a few moments, with Kirk holding tidbits to McCoy's lips, all the while using the other hand to casually caress the man in front of him.

A bit of pineapple had him tracing the proud jaw that he so admired. A piece of pastry had him kissing McCoy's pulse where it pounded like a drum in his throat. The miniature quiche had him pinching and rolling McCoy's very responsive nipples. And by the time breakfast was over his fingers were teasingly tracing his inner thighs, pointedly ignoring the emerging errection. He placed a slow kiss on McCoy's lips, before trailing up his jaw, finally stopping at his ear. "Now see isn't this more fun than a hurriedly choked down nutrition nub? Or those damn nutrient cocktails I used to watch you gag on?"

"Fun yes, efficient no." Kirk shot him an incredulous look as he shrugged off the dereliction of what Kirk considered one of life's greatest pleasures, falling only behind the power of command, and sex.

"You're not seriously telling me that your department is so busy that you don't have time for a meal. If it is explain what the problem is and I'll either fix it, or get you some additional personnel. But there will be no more living on medical nutrition supplements, no matter how expedient it is. Got me?"

"Yeah I got you." McCoy sighed and his shoulders seemed to slump.

"Good, now tell me why you feel you have to be in medical so damn much. It's not normal even for a CMO to spend that much time at work." This particular aspect of McCoy's personality was one that he'd never fully understood. When they'd been back in the academy, McCoy went to his labs and clinicals, and had come back to their dorm room splattered with blood as one would have expected. But he'd never kept insane hours, or really stayed longer than he'd had to at the hospital. The change in behavior since he'd become Kirk's CMO was puzzling, and Kirk found himself very interested in the doc's answer.

"Ever been treated by any of the other docs?" McCoy questioned, distain for the others in his department seeping into every syllable.

Kirk took a moment to think about it and came to the realization that no matter what time of day or night he was injured, no matter the severity of the injury, not once had another doctor laid hands on him since McCoy had brought him on board during the incident with the Nardia. Given the frequency with which he required the services of Med Bay that in and of itself was beyond unusual. "No, and why do I get the feeling that there is a reason behind that?"

"Well I'm guessing you would prefer anesthetic when you have procedures done?"

"And the other docs don't provide that?"

"As long as I'm in Med Bay, yeah they do. They know they can't get away with that kind of bull shit when I'm there, but when I'm not." McCoy trailed off and the dots connected for Kirk.

"When the cat's away the mice play." Kirk spoke slowly and McCoy nodded.

"Exactly."

"And why haven't you ever brought this up before? Put them on report?" Kirk was annoyed that people in his medical department were giving his CMO grief for this long without him knowing about it. More so when it appeared that they had been intentionally flaunting the spirit of their superior officers orders with impunity.

McCoy merely shrugged. "What am I supposed to say to Starfleet? What would I write on that line for cause of complaint? Doesn't play well with others? Sadistic bastards?" McCoy scoffed.

" The things that I find unacceptable make them bad doctors, not bad officers. Patients heal more quickly and cleanly when they're not in pain, and the regulations say that we're supposed to administer pain relief unless there is a reason not to do so. However, Starfleet likes it's people to be mean sons of bitches, so withholding pain meds isn't something that I can credibly put them on report for and expect it to stick."

Kirk gave McCoy a considering look. The man was right, it was better for his crew to be free of pain when they were healing, and it was clear that McCoy would run himself ragged insuring that those entrusted to his care would be well taken care of. It was also clear that they were going to have to be creative in remedying this problem as Starfleet's response to McCoy's report would likely be something along the lines of 'the idiots shouldn't have gotten hurt then' not 'oh you horrible people not giving these poor patients their medicine'.

"Well then here's what we're going to do. You're going to give your officers a standing order, and I'm going to make it clear that should they disobey that standing order without an acceptable medical reason behind the decision, as to be determined by you, then they will be the ones being treated without anesthetic, after a week in interrogation with Chekov."

McCoy winced, the healer in him hating such a threat even when it was needed and being used against people who'd have no qualms causing pain to others. "That should be a hell of a lot more effective than what I've tried in the past. Kid's scary."

"Nah, he likes you. And he will very gladly clean house in medical should it be necessary." Kirk smiled manically.

"What's got you so damn happy?" McCoy growled.

"Come on Bones, you just gave me a valid reason to threaten the assholes in Medical. Do you know how often cadets dream of that?"

"So glad to make your wish come true." McCoy grumbled, and Kirk resisted the urge to smile. The doctor tired so very hard to appear cold and hard, but he never did quite manage. It amused Kirk to no end, and he was very much looking forward to learning more about his very intriguing new bedmate.

"Any other issues that you need to tell me about? Staff problems? Reasons that you've been working yourself into the ground?" McCoy shook his head, still with a slight frown. "Well then, what do you want to do on your day off? Keeping in mind I meant what I said about work." When McCoy wasn't forthcoming with an answer Kirk continued. "Come on McCoy everyone has a hobby. Reading? Sports fan? Movie buff? Underwater basket weaving?"

"I don't know. I normally spend my time off catching up on the ass load of paperwork in medical."

Kirk sighed. "See McCoy this is why you need me. There has to be something that you like either the things that I've mentioned or something else. I'd offer a demonstration of my favorite leisure activity, but you need some recovery time first. So what will it be, book, movie, music, hitting the recreation deck for a work out? There has to be something that you do to relax, now tell me."

"I used to read, and catch an occasional game from time to time. I stopped watching sports when Jocelyn bitched about it, trying to hold on to my marriage, and I stopped reading when the judge gave her my books along with everything else I owned in the divorce."

"Ok, bad memories in both those cases, however should you want to start reading again, I have a fairly extensive library on ship. You're welcome to borrow whatever you'd like."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Mh, I'm going to guess that you used to watch football? I know that you played back in the day."

"A very long time ago, yes." McCoy was once again reminded that Kirk was freakishly observant. The only clue that he'd played football was a very worn ball that he'd toss from hand to hand when he'd finished a conversation that he really didn't enjoy. Given that these were typically with Jocelyn and that he'd only talked to her a couple of times in the time he shared a dorm room with Kirk, the kid's attention to detail was astounding.

"Well unfortunately Football season ended on Earth a few months ago, but we could call up some of the games you missed if you'd like." Kirk seemed so intent on finding him something to do so that he could relax. McCoy wasn't sure quite what to do with a friendly obliging Kirk.

"Nah, there's no anticipation when you already know who's going to win."

"Alright, want to catch a flick or are you up for something a little more physical?" McCoy thought about it for a moment, and decided that staying out of the view of the crew, and not doing anything that would involve landing on his ass was a really good plan. He knew based on the comments that Kirk had made about his lack of ability at hand to hand likely indicated some future tutoring in that aspect. He was sure that Kirk would think that it was good for him.

"A movie sounds nice." Kirk smiled and stole another kiss, which McCoy had to admit, he was damn good at. Even though he wouldn't have chosen to have firsthand knowledge about that fact before this got started.

"Now see, that wasn't so hard, was it?" A piercing tone broke the mood and Kirk pulled away with a dark glare directed towards the console. A few touches to the data pad beside him and he pressed it into McCoy's hands. "I have to take that. You go ahead and pick something out, and I'll be with you in a minute." With that Kirk grabbed a robe and proceeded to head to his office to take the call.

McCoy did his best not to feel affronted at the brush off. There would of course be things that the Captain of the ship couldn't tell him, but it still made him feel slighted. Rather like he was good enough to fuck, but not trusted enough for anything important, a feeling which grated on his nerves, and he would have to admit wholly illogical.

After all the captain trusted him enough for him to be his personal physician. Trusted him enough for McCoy to have an intimate knowledge of just what Jim Kirk looked like on the inside out, but still being dismissed while the man took care of business grated. There was nothing to be done for it however, so he began to scroll through the list of available titles looking for something suitable.

Meanwhile in Kirk's office he sat down before the console and carefully schooling his features to those of a bloodthirsty captain, not a well satisfied man, answered his comm. To his surprise his mother's face greeted him when he opened up the comm. channel, and he allowed himself to relax slightly. Normally he would have done so completely, but he still wasn't sure what her reaction to the recent addition to the family would be. "Hi mom."

"Hello son." After the greeting she studied him for a moment, as was her habit after he'd moved from home. Assessing that he was alright visually, rather that trusting his reassurances knowing perfectly well that he would lie to her. A moment passed before she smiled her inspection leaving her well satisfied. "You're looking well, it seems that Doctor McCoy has been very good for you."

"He has. I take it that you've met his family by now?"

His mother's smile widened and a twinkle came to her eye. He knew she'd enjoy meeting McCoy's daughter, she'd craved grandchildren to spoil for quite a while now. "Oh yes dear, they're very lovely people. And I'm pleased as I can be that you've finally found someone trustworthy to keep you company. I never did like that Marcus girl you were seeing."

"Mom, don't start that again. Carol and I have been over for a very long time."

"I can't help it Jimmy, she never did deserve you. I'm looking forward to meeting this doctor of yours and seeing for myself if he is in fact the improvement that I believe him to be. You can expect me next week, when you stop off at Starbase 12."

"Honestly mom, that isn't necessary. The man didn't make a move against me when he didn't literally owe me the lives of the people closest to him. He certainly won't now. Besides you'll be meeting him soon enough, next time we're on earth for shore leave."

Wynona was many things, still undeniably beautiful, intelligent, and socially brilliant and manipulative. She was however above all things a mother, and as such could tell a vast difference when he son spoke of this man than when he'd spoken of others. "You're serious about this man aren't you?"

"He means a great deal to me yes." His mother smiled, and her face softened as it did only when she was with him.

"All the more reason for me to meet him then, I'll see you next week. And I'll let you get back to what you were doing, as I've obviously interrupted something. Just one more thing before I go, and this is important sweetheart, so pay attention."

"Yes mom."

"Give him time, be patient. He will undoubtedly fall for you, who wouldn't when they truly got to know you? But when a relationship starts the way this one has, finesse is required. If you push too hard too soon he will only resent you for it, and I know that's not what you want."

"I'll remember mom, I promise. See you on Starbase 12."

"See you then. Take care, love you." She then signed off preventing him from having to either return the greeting on a potentially compromised connection, or dodge the statement which even when understandable rankled.

He mused over the situation and his mother's advice. She still didn't know that he'd found his father's journal, outlining their courtship, and thus didn't know that he understood her warning was based on experience. Everyone knew that Lady Wynona's last words to her husband had been I love you, repeated over and over as he went down with the ship to save her life and that of their son. But few knew that the day that he died was the first time that he'd ever heard her say it. The fact that her pride had kept her from telling his father that she loved him, haunted her and her smiles when she spoke of him always held a tinge of regret.

Far from making him sad however, the story that his father had outlined in his journal made him certain that it was entirely possible for him to become to McCoy what his father had become to his mother. Though he would admit that he hoped he could wrangle a confession from McCoy without having to go down with the ship. With this in mind, he took a moment to check that his plans were still proceeding nicely planet side, and then he headed back to the man that he'd invested so much in wooing.

AN: So there you have it. We've met Wynona. There wasn't a whole lot of smut this chapter, instead we have plot developing. Let me know what you think of it.

Next chapter: We meet McCoy's little sister, and Kirk gets his first clue as to why McCoy rejected those who would have been his patron. Also Kirk is bad ass.

Special Note: I'm thinking most of ya'll have found it by now, but if not check out Mirror Mistletoe. It's a future Christmas story set in this universe. Events in that story preclude a traditional New Year's story, but I'm thinking that I might do a Valentine's tale if anyone's interested?


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which we meet McCoy's little sister, Kirk gets his first clue as to why McCoy refused the offers he received for patronage, and Kirk is a bad ass.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

A few moments after Kirk left the room, the console chimed again. This time Lt. Uhura's voice emitted from the speaker. "Dr. McCoy, you've a personal communication on channel one." McCoy frowned and picked up the other robe that was lying on a chair beside the bed. A moment to insure that he was decent he allowed Uhura to patch the call through. He couldn't hide his moment of shock when his sister's face appeared on the screen.

She swallowed nervously and fiddled with her hair the same way she'd always done when she was agitated. It had been years since they'd spoken, and truthfully if he'd known that it was her on the line it was doubtful that he would have picked up. Just as he was about to hang up on her she spoke. "Hello Lee. I heard what happened with Jocelyn. I wanted to make sure that you were alright."

"How very sweet of you." McCoy couldn't help it, he loved his family and had been close with his sister when he was younger. But then things changed when they got older and he couldn't help but resent her, some things you couldn't forgive, even when it was family. Some of this must have shown in his voice, because she flinched slightly at the sharp tone that once upon a time he never would have used with her.

"Lee, I've said I'm sorry. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it, I'm sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but please at least hear me out. Momma hasn't said anything, but I can put two and two together. Joanna's with momma, which means someone damn high up intervened on your behalf. And judging by the fact momma's been talking to Wynonna Kirk, I'm going to guess that the rumors that Kirk's your new patron are true."

McCoy sighed and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in response to the headache that talking with her was giving him. "They are."

She gasped and closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself. When she reopened them the worry in her eyes almost made him relent from being furious with her. "Oh Lee, are you alright? He hasn't hurt you has he? Can I do anything?" Nothing in her tone of voice betrayed the fact that she'd disappointed him so horribly in the past. She genuinely sounded concerned, and for just a moment he only saw the little sister who used to worship the ground he walked on, that he in return used to adore. McCoy won't allow himself to soften too much though, there was a good reason that he'd stopped talking to his sister, and apologies only went so far.

"I'm fine Cassie. He's treating me ok. You don't have to worry."

She seemed slightly less tense at his reassurance, but the panic still hadn't left her eyes completely. "Lee, you need to be careful. Raines heard about the situation with Joanna, and he's going to try to make trouble for you."

"Thanks for the warning. Now I've got other things I have to do today. I've got everything under control. I'll talk with you later." McCoy hung up, and both of them knew that he wouldn't be talking with her anytime soon. He looked up to see Kirk who had been standing so still and quiet that he hadn't realized he was in the room.

Kirk leaned against the door frame lazily with his arms crossed over his chest. "So that's your sister. Pretty lady, also seems like she pissed you off pretty badly."

"Yes, she did." He was shorter than he intended, but he was doing his best not to tremble at the mention of Raines.

Of course Kirk didn't miss the fact he seemed off, and of course pressed the matter. "Who's this Raines character?" McCoy didn't answer and Kirk walked over towards him and grabbed his wrist observing his shaking hands. "You're trembling. Are you alright?" He pulled him close and tilted his chin up so that he would meet his eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Raines is the reason that I never accepted any of the offers that I got for patronage." The tone of voice that he used sent alarm bells ringing in Kirk's head. He sounded wooden and mechanical, something foreign to his normal expressions. He was cold, and the tremors had gotten worse.

Kirk brought his hand up and cupped his cheek. "McCoy look at me." Kirk noted that McCoy's eyes were haunted, and that he seemed almost frozen in fear. "Hey, it's alright. You're here with me, and you're safe. You don't have to tell me what happened right now. The only thing that I'll ask is how many pieces does the son of a bitch need to be in when I kill him."

McCoy started at Kirk's question. "What?"

"I told you that I'd take care of you. I told you that I'd protect you. This man has scared you badly enough that you're shaking and according to your sister, he means to do you harm. That means that not only I will take care of this, I will do in the most decisive way possible. Now I repeat. How many pieces does the son of a bitch need to be in when I kill him?"

McCoy shook his head. "You don't want to do that." McCoy couldn't keep a tremor out of his voice. He was a grown man damn it, and this bastard shouldn't still have this much sway over him. But he felt just like a kid again, every bit as helpless and afraid as he had then.

"Bones, you're not seeing this clearly. Obviously this son of a bitch did something that scared the hell out of you. I'm not going to pretend that I understand what's got you so freaked out about some low level peon that can't hurt you, when you've stood toe to toe with me, Spock, and half the frigging admirals in the fleet. We've all got our demons. So it's ok if you're scared of him."

He massaged the nape of McCoy's neck and placed a gentle reassuring kiss on his forehead. "I on the other hand walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no fucking evil because I'm the baddest son of a bitch in the valley. Now tell me the fuckers name, I'll execute him with extreme prejudice and you'll feel much better I promise."

"You'd do that for me?" McCoy's voice was soft and uncertain, almost as if he didn't quite believe that Kirk would possibly do so just because McCoy needed him to.

Kirk scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Hell yes, where have you been the last week? Of course I will do this for you. What's his name?"

McCoy closed his eyes and dropped his head. "Ethan Raines, his name is Ethan Raines." He whispered, and the warm embrace that Kirk pulled him into and the soft brush of his lips on McCoy's forehead gave no indication to the fury that was building in Kirk at the moment. Whoever this bastard was, this Ethan Raines was already a dead man. And as McCoy came apart in his arms, Kirk resolved that he was going to make the man scream until his vocal cords ruptured before he finally let him die.

AN: So there you have it. We've met a new character and have alluded to a second. Kirk has his first clue as to why McCoy's always refused his offers for patronage, albeit a small one. Look forward to a less fluffy version of Kirk when he meets Raines, who is going to pay dearly for causing his Bones such lasting trauma. There wasn't a whole lot of smut this chapter, instead we have plot developing. Let me know what you think of it, additionally what exactly do we think that our dear Captain should do to Raines?

Next Chapter: Kirk discovers why Raines will be screaming a long time before Kirk kills him.

Question: Any recommendations for songs that remind you of the mirror verse? Kirk? Bones? Anybody got a good stalker song? A dark love song? I'm thinking the boys need a soundtrack.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which McCoy falls apart, and Kirk discovers why Raines will scream a long time before he dies.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk looked over the file in his hand. In it was every single official document that had ever been created on one Ethan Raines. There had to be something missing. Nothing here indicated what could make McCoy so very frightened of this man. He stroked his chin. He was reluctant to ask Bones what he was getting into, as it had taken everything he had to get the man to stop trembling the night before. It wasn't from what Kirk could see a rational fear, as even McCoy had the clout within the Empire to crush this bug, by virtue of being an officer.

No this man was a civilian. Granted he was a wealthy one, but that shouldn't scare McCoy. The good doctor was wealthy enough in his own right, not to the obscene level that Kirk's family was, but enough so that he didn't need to fear this man because of the power that his wealth brought. But then Kirk thought that might not have always been the case. McCoy doesn't have reason to be scared of this man now, but that doesn't mean that he never had reason.

Investigating this lead let him know that Raines had moved in the same circles as McCoy's father, and that he'd been around for much of McCoy's childhood. There was an unusual move in McCoy's childhood, to his grandparent's home several states away, and a change on the name listed in school records, though not on his birth certificate. _Why were you hiding McCoy? No one moves their kids in the middle of the school year without damn good reasons_.

McCoy hadn't displayed any of the signs of someone who'd been raped, and had given every indication that Kirk had been his first. Yet the reaction that he'd given to Raines name was similar, maybe the man had threatened him? Kirk growled in frustration. Speculation wasn't going to help him any. Instead he needed information so that he didn't underestimate his enemy.

He'd known DeWinters, had orchestrated that situation with careful timing and planning. This was going to have to go down with far less planning that he typically preferred. There was no help for it though. He'd promised to make this problem go away for McCoy, and truth be told he wasn't sure that Bones was going to sleep again until he had.

He put in a call to Chris Pike, and his mother, as well as some other information sources that had proved beneficial in the past. With all that done he returned to his bed room, happy at least to see that McCoy was no longer lying in bed. Instead he heard the shower running, and sat down to wait for McCoy to emerge. A good while later McCoy exited the bathroom surrounded by a cloud of steam and swathed in a very cushy bathrobe. Kirk sat patiently, not wanting to spook the fragile man.

In a moment McCoy sat down across from him, and slowly met his eyes. Kirk took in the dark smudges under McCoy's eyes and added another torment to the growing list of what awaited this man when he found him. "If we're going to talk about this, we're going to need whiskey, and lots of it. I haven't thought about any of this in years, and don't particularly relish dredging it up, but you need to know what you're getting into."

Kirk nodded and went to his liquor cabinet and selected a tall bottle of some of his strongest bourbon. He checked it for poison, grabbed two glasses and went back to the table. He poured McCoy a generous three fingers into the glass and slid it over to him. After a sip of the whiskey and a moment in which he closed his eyes and drew several deep calming breaths McCoy looked up and started talking.

"It started when I was twelve. Ethan had come to work at the same hospital that my father did, only he was an administrator. They developed a friendship and he ended up coming to our house more and more frequently as my father's guest. He didn't pay me any special attention at first, but as I got a little older, started filling out things changed." He gave a joyless chuckle.

"In the beginning it was flattering, I mean here was this talented, educated, articulate man paying attention to me. He was always following me with his eyes, and I was too naive at the time to know what that meant. I wasn't the only one that he'd spent time with, my best friend Jake, he paid attention to him too. Jake's family had never had much of anything, and they were flattered by Ethan taking an interest in their son. " McCoy took another sip of his drink and tried not to remember how happy Jake's parents had looked every time Ethan came around.

"He told them all the things that they wanted to hear, that their son was brilliant, that he deserved a better life than that of a laborer, that'd he see to it that Jake was educated in the finest of schools, and that he had all that he could wish for. He'd do all this, and all they had to do was agree to let him be Jake's patron, and sign a piece of paper giving him the power to do what he needed to do in order to get thing set up for Jake."

McCoy sighed and closed his eyes. "They weren't bad people really. They just didn't know any better. After they made their agreement with Ethan, we all saw Jake less and less. He moved in with Ethan, under the pretense that Ethan could better supervise his studies if he lived in the big house. The only thing was Jake wasn't coming to school, no one had seem him for months."

McCoy swallowed the last of his whiskey and Kirk immediately refilled it. He had a very disturbing feeling that he knew where this was going. "Then one day when I was visiting my father at the hospital, I noticed someone familiar lying on a gurney when I was walking down the hall. I looked in and there was Jake, lying on a hospital bed. The only way I recognized him was that he'd fallen when we were kids and cut himself pretty deep. We hadn't told our parents, because we knew we'd be in trouble if we did. He had a very distinctive scar on his arm, where it had healed badly without a dermal mender."

"So I walked into the room, and he was so badly beaten that he barely could breathe. He didn't recognize me, couldn't have. Both eyes were swollen shut, and all the teeth I could see when he opened his mouth had been broken off. They hadn't brought him to the he hospital to save him, they brought him there to cover their tracks. He died of sepsis from a perforated bowel and cerebral hemmorage. Ethan had literally beaten and raped him to death."

"I wasn't a doctor yet, but I could read the chart. My father knew. He signed off of the treatments that Jake was given, the ones that did nothing to save him, and had taken pliers to his mouth that morning to crush his teeth. They had ripped the skin on his fingers off. His family hadn't had the money to do DNA tracing, so there'd be no reason to match the bloodied boy who's body they dumped to Jake. I thought at first that Ethan must have forced my father to help him, hell I prayed that he had."

Kirk waited knowing by the tenseness of McCoy's shoulders that there was more to come. "Not long after that Ethan started coming around to our house more and more often. And my father, knowing what he'd done, having seen it with his own two eyes, encouraged me to start a relationship with him. He told me that it'd be good for me, that I should be grateful that such an important man had taken an interest in me." McCoy took a large gulp of his bourbon, and shuddered.

"Ethan never touched me. At least not the way that he did Jake. But he figured out that I knew. And he started stalking me. Showed up at school, cornered me when I'd visit my father at work. He'd pin me to the wall, and whisper all the perverted horrible things that he planned to do to me once he got me where no one could hear me scream, and told me that I didn't have any way out. That my father knew what he'd planned to do, and that not only would he not stop him, but that he'd deliver me up to him on a silver platter."

McCoy's hands had started to tremble, and he set down his glass heavily. "The hell of it was, that he was right. My father had every intention of letting that bastard take me. They almost pulled it off, had drugged me with something that paralyzed me. I couldn't move, couldn't run, couldn't fight. If my mother hadn't believed me, and realized what was going on he would have gotten away with it too."

McCoy looked down at his hands, exhausted from the story and took a long drink of his whiskey. "Instead, my mother came out of the house with her grandpa's shot gun, fired a shot above his head, and one at his feet and told him that if he wasn't gone by the time she reloaded that the next shot would be somewhere between the two. He ran, my father was furious, and the next thing I knew I was back at my grandparent's place in Georgia."

Kirk waited in silence for a moment, and when it became clear that McCoy had indeed finished his story, he walk over and crouched in front of McCoy's chair and met his eyes. He cupped McCoy cheek, letting the pad of his thumb stroke the warm skin. "He will suffer to his last breath, I promise you. He will never touch you, and he will never hurt you again. I promise, that he will die alone and in agony."

He rose and pulled McCoy into his embrace, gently stroking his back while he trembled. "No wonder you were so scared at the thought of accepting a patron." He pressed a kiss to McCoy's forehead, and cupped his face gently. Shining blue eyes met sad brown, and Kirk gave every indication of sincerity. "You never have to be afraid of me, not that way. I will never treat you like that. I swear it." He led McCoy to the bed, and held him reassuring him while he quaked. Finally exhausted and emotionally spent McCoy fell into a restless sleep.

Kirk meanwhile lay awake plotting Ethan Raines death. He was very careful to keep the hands he had on McCoy from tightening in his rage. Unfortunately McCoy's father had already died, a common place death, from a debilitating disease. He hadn't suffered enough in Kirk's estimation, not for what he'd intended to do his only son. But Raines, he still drew breath, and would find that unlike McCoy's father, Kirk had no intention of letting the slimy bastard lay so much as a finger on McCoy. The music of Raines screams in his head made a macabre lullaby, and he fell asleep with a sinister smile that hinted at the future awaited the man who dared threaten what was his.

AN: I warned you that this story would be dark. McCoy needs some serious TLC. (pats him on the head and sends him back to Kirk) I always feel bad being this abusive to my characters, but at least we know now why McCoy was so freaked out and adamantly refused patronage for so long. Luckily he ended up with Kirk, who despite being a scary son of a bitch, isn't nearly as bad as what he could have found. Let me know what you think.

Next Chapter: In which Kirk is the angel of death, and Ethan Raines has a very very bad day.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which McCoy is comforted, Kirk is the angel of death, and Raines has a really, really bad day.

Content Warning: Gentlemen readers, you may wish for a stiff drink at the conclusion of this chapter. Unfortunate things happen to Mr. Raines anatomy.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

The next morning found McCoy feeling like he'd been hit with a log truck. His head ached, his throat was raw, and he felt exhausted despite a full night's rest. Warm arms surrounded him, and he felt his cheeks flush as he remembered his behavior the night before. Why on earth Kirk even wanted him as much trouble as he was causing him, he didn't know. He took in the slumbering man before him, letting his eyes rest on the perfectly sculpted face that seemed so out of place on a man that he knew could and had killed without so much as a blink.

Yet at the same time, he never would have expected the gentleness that he'd received from Kirk, first with his preparation before warming his bed, and then comforting him as he fell apart. The man slumbering beside him was full of contradictions. He was everything that McCoy had been taught that a Captain of a Starfleet ship should be, merciless, murderous and maniacal.

However he was nothing that McCoy had come to expect patrons to be. McCoy couldn't be certain, but he might have come more times since taking residence in Kirk's bed than he had in his entire marriage. Kirk was oddly affectionate, kissing him often, and almost constantly touching some part of McCoy. And if that weren't confusing enough, the man berated him for skipping meals in one breath and casually offered to kill for him in the next.

"Are you done staring at me yet?" Kirk asked from underneath barely parted lashes. "I'm starting to think that I grew horns overnight."

"I wasn't staring. I was performing a visual exam."

"You were staring, but that's ok." Kirk lazily reached up and stroked the growing stubble on McCoy's cheek. "You can stare at me anytime you want to." The indulgent tone of voice and the smug smile as he said this would have grated on McCoy if he hadn't known deep down that Kirk's arrogance was deserved. Bloodthirsty murderous Captain of the Empire's crown jewel, yes. Breathtakingly beautiful man, also true. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine." The response was automatic, and Kirk frowned.

"McCoy, you're supposed to actually think about it when I ask the question. If I'm not mistaken you just got over a sore ass. Do you really want to lie to me this early in the morning?"

McCoy thought about the question, and then shrugged. "I've had better mornings. But what purpose does telling you that serve. It's not like complaining about it makes it go away."

"No, but it does let me know that we need to see if we can't do something to make it better. Let me guess, stiff as hell, pounding headache, and your throat feels like you swallowed rocks."

"How did you?" McCoy looked at him puzzled. His Captain was a lot of things, but a healer wasn't one of them.

"Emotional catharsis and confession may be good for the soul Bones, but it's hell on the body." He handed McCoy a glass of water and a pain blocker for his headache. "Now let see what else I can do to make you feel better." Kirk's fingers ghosted over McCoy's sides causing him to both recoil and laugh. "Ticklish? I'm going to have to remember that."

Kirk placed open mouthed kisses down McCoy's throat, stopping to tease his hardening nipples. When Kirk brought his fingers into play, pinching and rolling the sensitive nubs between his fingers Bones' hips started to rise to meet him. When Bones was moaning from the sensations and his eyes had slide half way closed lost in the sensation, he proceeded to move lower, kissing and licking a trail down his chest and over his stomach. He stopped to toy with Bones navel, then McCoy's eyes jerked open when he felt the first puff of warm air on his dick. "What are you doing?"

Kirk felt a deep sense of satisfaction when he noticed the tremor in McCoy's voice. He looked up from his task and smirked. "McCoy, if you tell me that you were married to Jocelyn for years and she never sucked your dick then I am going to be very disappointed in your taste in women."

Bones sputtered. "It's not that, I just…"

"Thought that it would be me shoving you to your knees, instead of me sucking your brain out through your cock?" McCoy gasped as Kirk stroked one finger up his length, gathering the fluid that had gathered there. He brought the finger to his lips and flicked the liquid off of his fingertip with his tongue. Never once did he allow his eyes to leave McCoy's, which in turn caused McCoy to shudder and his breath hitch at the sight before him.

"You see this is what you're misunderstanding. This isn't about who does what sexually. This is about the fact that I can make you whimper, tremble, and beg. I can give you a long lengthy explanation, but what it really breaks down to is that I like being in control. Sometimes that means I want to see you lose your damn mind, because that formidable intellect of yours means precious little when I'm fucking you. And sometimes it means that you're going to be on your knees."

He stroked McCoy's hardened length, and let his nails lightly flick at the sensitive head. "Now you're new to this, and from what I can gather have a very fucked up idea as to how this type of thing really works. But part of this is giving you what you need, and taking care of you. Right now, you've just had a very hard night, after a very long couple of days. Once we get you a little bit more settled we'll see about some ground rules and trying new things. For the moment, just lie back, and enjoy all the very naughty things I plan to do to you."

McCoy couldn't keep his hips from jumping when Kirk lapped gently at the head of his cock and then swallowed it down to the root. Whoever had taught Kirk this had done an excellent job, and in short order McCoy was gasping, panting, and doing his level best not to grab Kirk by the back of the head to force him to go faster. When he came Kirk merely swallowed, and gave his dick a few more languid sucks to insure that he'd gotten all of McCoy's seed. McCoy felt the impossible stirrings of arousal again as Kirk released his dick and turned his lips instead to his inner thigh where he proceeded to pepper McCoy with love bites. Cerulean eyes again met McCoy's with the heated exclamation. "Mine."

McCoy looked down at the man who was so different than what he'd expected, who's hands and mouth were proceeding to reduce him once again to incoherency. "Say it, admit it McCoy." He groaned under the expert manipulation of Kirk's fingers, and panted trying to gather the breath to speak. Amidst the pleasurable sensations he felt the strong snap of teeth at his throat, marking him once more. "Mine." Kirk all but growled.

Finally able to catch his breath enough to speak, McCoy responded in kind. "Alright, yours damn it, yours." McCoy felt Kirk smile where his mouth was pressed to his jaw, and saw the lights dancing in the Captain's eyes. Kirk seemed to redouble his efforts and soon had McCoy spasming again.

"Damn right you're mine." And with that Kirk's mouth met his in a demanding kiss, while McCoy covered Kirk's hand with his release. Kirk reached down to his own erection and with a few quick pulls was joining McCoy in his pleasure. McCoy felt the warm splash on his belly, and couldn't even be bothered to be concerned about hygiene at the moment. After allowing him moment to catch his breath, Kirk looked over at McCoy and asked innocently. "Feel better Bones?"

McCoy was shocked to realize that yes actually he did, given that he had forgotten about all the things that he had been worried about and was now left with a pleasant sense of lassitude. "Oddly enough, yes."

"Never doubt the restorative power of good sex Bones. Now let's grab some breakfast, there's going to be something on screen that you'll be interested in shortly."

Breakfast was a more subdued affair than the morning prior, but Kirk sat near McCoy allowing his fingers to trail over his shoulders and face, again oddly tactile and affectionate. Kirk's viewscreen chimed and Uhura's voice came over the intercom. "The transmission that you requested is beginning Captain."

"Thank you Lt. Connect us please."

"Aye aye, sir." The screen flickered and then showed Pike standing behind a podium.

"Citizens this announcement is to inform you that Ethan Alexander Raines, has displayed conduct detrimental to the Terrain Empire, and has been found guilty by tribunal of high treason. He's in custody now, and will be executed for his crimes. Continuing to protect and defend your liberties against enemies both foreign and domestic, this message has been approved by Starfleet. "

McCoy looked over at him wide eyed. "How in the hell did you get him accused of high treason?"

"I told Pike that he was an old enemy of yours that I wanted to remove. Given that you're the reason that he's ambulatory and not rotting in a rat infested shit hole after Nero, he was inclined to help me out."

"So what happens now?"

"They're bringing him via shuttle, and will rendezvous with us at swamps of Dagobah. And then I will take care of the problem." Kirk's eyes stared at him unwaveringly. He stroked the nape of McCoy's neck, and pressed his lips to his forehead. "Don't worry about it. I've got this handled. You're not going to have to see him, unless you want to watch."

McCoy shuddered and shook his head. "If it's all the same to you, no thank you."

"Suit yourself. Either way he'll still be dead." McCoy didn't look particularly relieved, but Kirk guessed that even when it was necessary, death still didn't hold the attraction for McCoy that it did for the rest of them. However when he slept soundly through the night again free from nightmares about Raines and his threats, he'd thank him. Kirk patted McCoy's cheek gently. "You don't have to be afraid Bones, I'll protect you. You're safe, and this sick bastard is going to pay for what he's done."

_Two Days Later ISS Enterprise Interrogation Room B_

Kirk walked into the room where Raines was waiting for him. He was certain that the man's wait had been every bit as unpleasant as he'd intended it to be. He was chained to the wall, and glared murderously at Kirk when he entered the room. "I don't know who you think you are you son of a bitch, but you'll unchain me this instant. I have done nothing to deserve this."

"See I'd have to disagree with you on that Raines. You're going to be getting to know me very, very well. We're going to have a nice conversation." He stepped over to the bound man, and taking a switch blade knife from his belt and began cutting away his clothing. He stepped back from Raines letting him feel his nudity. Kirk looked down to Raines flaccid cock and tisked. "Not very impressive Ethan, is that why you get off on boys too young to know better?"

Kirk reached down and stroked the neglected area, watching as Raines struggled in his bonds. Under Kirk's touch Raines hardened against his will drawing a sadistic smile from Kirk. "Now that's better, I know I'm a bit older than the ones that you normally go for, but I'll have to do for tonight." He slid a cock ring over Raines and turned from him selecting the first of his instruments from a table. He turned back to Raines holding a very slim glass tube.

"This doesn't look like much does it Ethan? Just a little bit of glass." He placed a few drops of lube on the rod, and took Ethan's dick in hand, proceeding to work the glass tube into the slit, and twisting it slowly worked it up the man's urethra, while he gasped and tried move away. "Interesting technique isn't it? I thought of it while I was watching our mutual friend, I'm sure you remember Leonard McCoy?"

"This is about that little bastard?" Kirk's lips thinned and he grabbed Raines dick and twisted, causing him to scream as the glass shattered.

"You would be wise to remember that insulting Dr. McCoy is not going to go well for you." He waited for the man to stop screaming before he continued. "From what I can determine you attempted to do this man harm, both in the past and the present." He crossed his arms consideringly. "I suppose I could make things easier for you if you'd tell me what you had intended to do."

"Fuck you asshole."

Kirk chuckled. "Oh no, I have no intention on soiling my dick on a slimy little troll like you, but that doesn't mean that there aren't people here who will."

Kirk grabbed a glass of water so cold that the condensation dripped down the glass. "You're looking thirsty Ethan. Let's give you a drink." He held Ethan's nose and poured the water down his throat, ignoring the sputters and coughing. "Now why don't you tell me what you had planned for Doctor McCoy."

"DeWinters was going to sell me the girl."

"And what exactly did you plan to do with the girl?"

"What anyone do with a sweet little piece of ass like that. I was going to have a damn good time, and film it all for daddy dearest." He looked at Kirk appraisingly. "Surely a man of your qualifications and experiences understands." Kirk looked at him blankly and he continued on nervously. "Hell I don't even like little girls, but it would have been sweet seeing McCoy's face while his daughter screamed that she hated him and that this was his fault."

"You sick son of a bitch." Kirk whistles long and slow. "I've met some bastards in my time, but that's just twisted." Kirk jerked on his dick again causing him to scream once more. "What a shame for you that you'll never touch her. In fact you'll never touch anyone ever again." Kirk poured another full glass of water down his throat.

"But, I told you what you wanted to know."

"Yes, that means that I don't have to be nice anymore. Now the fun starts." And with that Kirk cued up some nice music, Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker. Then he turned over to Raines, smiled, and started whistling. Before the song had reached it's crescendo, Raines was already screaming.

AN: Ok, so I did warn ya'll that this would get dark. Look for worse in the next chapter. Our Kirk deeply appreciates the classics, so if you're squeamish, it's going to be a no go for you.

Next Chapter: Ethan expires, violently. Wynonna and McCoy have a chat.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Kirk is the angel of death, and Raines has a really, really bad day.

Content Warning: One last warning kids, I earn the Mature rating with this one. Should you be offended by blood, gore, mentions of rape, or violent bloody deaths, this is not the chapter for you.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk stood watching as Ethan squirmed before him. The man was looking far worse for wear than he had previously, his screams trailing off into whimpers and moans. That is until the first of the gallon of water that Kirk had poured down his throat decided that it had to make an exit. "Need something Ethan?"

The man glared weakly at him, and he found that the poor attempt made him respect this miserable excuse for a man even less. The session had just started, and this man was already well on his way towards breaking. "I'm guessing that you need some relief, there's no need to be embarrassed. We're both men here, go ahead." Ethan gave a frustrated growl and continued to squirm. "Oh right, I guess it is bit hard to piss with that cock ring on."

Kirk slapped Ethan on the cheek lightly. "Well then let's just take this off shall we?" Kirk's deft fingers removed the cock ring, and Ethan moaned again. His cock was swollen from Kirk's earlier rough treatment, and the prolonged use of the extremely tight cock ring. Once the ring was removed, face aflame with anger and embarrassment, Ethan tried to relieve the pressure on his overly full bladder. This prompted another screaming fit, as the urine stung the cuts that had already been made, and shifted the small glass slivers causing further damage.

"Hurts doesn't it?" Kirk stepped closer to the man, locking eyes with him and smiling cruelly. "Tell me Ethan, do you know why you're here?" Ethan twitched in his bonds and whimpered as another spasm when through his sorely abused nether region. "We both know you're not guilty of high treason. You don't have the balls for that." Kirk reached down grabbed Ethan's cock in his fist squeezing and twisting, making the man scream again. "No you're here because you dared threaten what's mine, and for that you will die. You see, what you didn't know was that McCoy finally broke down and took a patron."

Ethan's eyes widened and his lips thinned. "That's right, he finally bit the bullet. And even though you fucked with his head royally, he acknowledged that he needed the help of someone far more adept at cruelty than himself to protect himself and what was dear to him." Kirk smiled lightly and lightly patted Ethan's cheek, before backhanding him to the floor. "I suppose I owe you a thank you though you worthless son of a bitch." He kicked Ethan where he lay in a puddle of his own blood tinged urine.

"You see, McCoy was so scared by what you'd done to him, that he never let any other man near him. He was an innocent when he came to me Ethan, and you were right to want him. He's the single best fuck I've ever had. That sweet ass of his, and that deliciously fuckable mouth, Ethan, they're practically religious experiences." Kirk leaned over the man, and grabbing his collar roughly drug him to his knees, ignoring his moans of pain.

"And you're never going to so much as touch him. Bet that just kills you doesn't it? Just so we understand each other, it's the appreciation of this fact that influences me to kill you when I'm finished with you. I'd been thinking on selling your worthless hide to a Kilingon brothel when I was done, but then I realized that when I'm done with you, even they wouldn't want you."

Kirk watched the man begin to panic, and flail as he desperately tried to get away. Kirk laughed as he watched the bound man try to crawl away from him. "Now Ethan, the funs just starting, I can't let you leave yet. There are so many more things that I want to show you." Kirk grabbed Ethan's collar again, this time pulling the resisting man to his feet choking him as he tried to pull away.

"You'll have to forgive my horrendous lack of manners Ethan, I should have offered you a chair." Ethan's eyes widened as he saw the chair that Kirk was leading him to. It was covered in thousands of jagged spikes. "Let me correct that oversight." Kirk pushed him onto the chair, pointedly ignoring the screams of agony that poured from Ethan's mouth as the spikes dug into his flesh. Kirk bound the struggling man to the chair hand and foot and stepped back to enjoy his handy work.

After a moment Kirk looked away and gestured to the door. "It's alright Nurse Chapel. You can come in now."

The nurse walked in and at Kirk's direction removed two very long IV needles which she proceeded to jab into Ethan's hands. "Can't have you leaving the party early Ethan. Nurse Chapel here is going to set you up with a nice transfusion to keep you from bleeding out on me, and this," Kirk indicated the IV bag in his hand. "This will keep you from going into shock."

Having finished her work Chapel stepped back with a cold detachment and awaited further orders. "Thank you, Christine, you've done Mr. Raines here a great service. You're dismissed."

Chapel nodded, and without so much as a sideways glance towards the quivering mass of humanity on the chair left the room. There was after all a reason that she was head nurse. She hadn't won the job by being overly concerned about the welfare of those foolish enough to anger the Empire. Still Kirk mused, there had been a slight flinch when she'd seen Raines. But he supposed that was forgivable. The man was rather grotesque.

Kirk grabbed his next toy and walked towards the man who tried to flinch away, only to groan as the movement pressed the spikes deeper into his flesh. "Now this Ethan, this is one of the true classics. It's called a Heretic's fork." Kirk held up the instrument, a thick metal collar with vicious barbs attached to the front of it. "It'll keep you from hiding those pretty tear filled eyes from me. I want to watch you while you suffer. It's only fair. After all you enjoyed making Jake suffer, didn't you? You were going to do the same thing to McCoy? And little Joanna, see that would just never do."

Kirk removed the collar Ethan was currently wearing and replaced it with the fork. The man groaned weakly as he pushed the lower point of the collar into his chest, and screamed as he dug the upper point into his chin. His blood flowed freely down his chin and chest, and Kirk stood back to watch him writhe. Every movement was agony for him, as the spikes shifted with every breath. His still painfully full bladder made him twitch, and he jumped at the pain of his attempts at relief, which only caused him to land on the spikes once again. His groans opened his mouth too far, causing the fork to dig in, and the struggles were digging the lower point into his chest. After an indeterminable amount of time Kirk waved Chapel and Sulu into the room.

"Sulu, this man is a traitor to the Empire. You are to guard him as such. Chapel, you are to keep him alive, and aware of everything that is happening to him. Should he not be in exactly the same condition when I return, whoever is responsible will take his place. Do I make myself clear?"

Chapel looked shaken by the threat, but nodded. "Yes Captain. I'll see that it's done."

Kirk met Sulu's eyes, and he nodded as well. "Aye, aye sir, he'll be as you left him when you return. Though I must admit, my men are growing inpatient for the evening's festivities."

Kirk offered the man a cold smile. "Well now, I'm sure the wait won't kill them. Anticipation does add such a nice feel to the experience does it not?"

"Indeed sir, I'll make sure my men are clear on that."

"See that you do. I'll return shortly. Wouldn't want our guest here getting too comfortable, now would we?" At Sulu's agreement he turned on heal and left the room, Raines whimpers and pained grunts followed him down the hallway to the turbolift.

In short order Kirk reached his quarters, and when he entered McCoy rose like a shot to meet him. Kirk waved him away. "Don't, I have no intention of touching you while that man's taint is still lingering." At that point he saw McCoy's eyes go towards his hands and chest, both covered in gore. He continued walking towards the shower, and reveled in the feel of hot water. He watched as the crimson flowed from his fingers and tinged the water pink as it swirled down the drain.

Raines face contorted in agony, and the screams of anguish did not leave him as he cleansed himself. He did not expect them to, did not in truth desire them to. Instead, he had left so that he did not become so angry that he gave the man an underserved respite from his punishment. As much as he wanted to kill the man for what he had done, and planned to do he would not give him that victory. He still had lots of things planned for Mr. Raines.

An unbidden thought of what would have happened to McCoy had the man somehow managed to carry out his plans for the girl brought resurgence to his anger, and he had to remind himself that those who would have harmed Joanna McCoy in such a way were either dead, or dying. And thus her father's sanity would remain intact. Finally he emerged from the shower, only to find a warm towel and a fresh set of clothes waiting for him. He smiled at McCoy's thoughtfulness, and dressing quickly then stepped out to see him.

McCoy rose again when he emerged and stared walking slowly, hesitantly towards him. This time Kirk did not stall him. Instead when McCoy reached him Kirk grabbed him tightly and buried his nose in McCoy's neck, taking in deep breaths of the good doctor's scent, and feeling the warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart began to relax a bit. "Are you alright?"

Kirk nodded and pressed a kiss to McCoy's forehead as he cupped his cheek. "I'm fine. Just needed a breather, I was getting dangerously close to snapping the poor bastard's neck, and he doesn't deserve that kind of mercy." McCoy's hands tightened on Kirk's shoulders and he sighed before continuing. "I know that you don't approve of this. You understand that it's needed yes, but you don't approve and I'm smart enough to know that. But what he had planned for you Bones, it was bad. Really bad, I mean this guy's sick by my fairly liberal standards. And I want to kill him for it."

"Do I want to know?"

Kirk shook his head. "Probably not, but you need to anyway. What you don't know is always worse somehow. He planned to buy Joanna off of DeWinters, and make you watch while he had his fun." McCoy tensed in his arms and shuddered uncontrollably at the thought of what could have been. "Hey, now no need for that. She's alright, and he's going to suffer till his last breath. No one's going to harm you, not while I'm around."

"You know how you said that you knew I didn't approve of what you were doing? In this instance you're wrong about that, kill the bastard Jim."

"About time you used my name." He kissed McCoy's forehead again, and pushed away from him. "Well, it's time for me to get back to work. I'll see you in a bit."

McCoy watched him walk away, and called to him just before he stepped out the door. "Jim."

Kirk turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

Kirk's lips quirked up in a smile, and his eyes danced. "My pleasure doctor." Giving the doctor one final lingering look, Kirk walked away.

As Kirk walked out the door, the familiar chime of intra ship communication sounded through the quarters. "Incoming communication Doctor McCoy." Uhura's voice held none of the scorn that McCoy had expected when it became painfully obvious that he'd taken residence in the captain's bed. He'd expected an attitude of superiority, after all she had successful dodged Kirk's advances, while he had not. Instead she seemed almost friendly, which was in its own right was disturbing.

"Thank you Uhura. Go ahead and put it through." The screen wavered and then an attractive exquisitely dressed blonde woman appeared before him.

"So you're the one that my son's so taken with. I must admit, I see what all the fuss is about."

"Ma'am?" McCoy looked at her confused for a moment.

"Oh I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. I'm Jim's mother, Wynonna." He felt her appraising stare and resisted the urge to fidget. After a moment she smiled. "I must say, it appears that my son's taste has improved considerably. Now there's no need to stand there so stiff and formal, why don't you get comfortable and we'll get acquainted. "

McCoy having been bred where it was nearly sacrilege to argue with a lady complied, and could not help but wonder how this seemingly sweet woman had raised a son vicious enough to become a starship captain. Settling in his chair as she'd requested, he prepared himself for a long chat. And as he talked with Wynonna Kirk, he had no idea that she had collected more personal information from him in the course of an hour, than most managed in their entire acquaintance with him.

_ISS Enterprise Interrogation Room B_

Kirk was pleased to find Ethan just as he'd left him. He nodded to Chapel and Sulu. "Excellent job, Mr. Sulu I think it's time to move to the evening entertainment, don't you?"

"I'm sure that my men will be thrilled Captain. I'll alert them now."

"Excellent. Nurse Chapel, if you'll help me. We wouldn't want our guest expiring before the party gets underway, so I'd image that he'll need a short session with the dermal mender and some addition transfusions yes?" As he asked this question Kirk wrenched the fork from under Ethan's chin, and from his chest. Chapel to her credit did not flinch at the man's screams.

"Yes, Captain." With Kirk's help they none to gently strapped Ethan down on a bio-bed, ignoring his whimpers and pain filled gasps. As Chapel guided the mender over Ethan's wounds, she healed him just enough to keep them from reopening easily, but not enough to heal completely. After all this wasn't a patient, this was a traitor. Her job wasn't to heal him, only to keep him from dying prematurely. In her place Dr. McCoy might have given the man a bit of a bump, blamed his death on an overzealous interrogation. Not of course that anyone could prove that. She on the other hand had not love for this bastard, and wouldn't risk so much as a hangnail to comfort him.

Kirk in the meantime conferred with Sulu about the night's entertainment. Kirk and Sulu had gotten along fairly well after their mission on Vulcan. And the man had proven himself to be an excellent head of security, the deadly sword that he wore at his side a good warning against those who would attack him. "Mr. Sulu, is everything prepared?"

"Yes, Captain."

Kirk walked over to Ethan and forced him to stand. He bound his hands behind him, and slapped the man's face while smiling cheerfully. "Come on Ethan, don't want to keep your dates waiting, now do you?" Kirk paused. "After all it's only fair. Since you enjoyed taking your pleasure from the unwilling, it's only right that you should have others take pleasure in your debasement. But there's something that we're forgetting aren't we Mr. Sulu."

"Yes Captain. Filthy little bastard like him probably hasn't had all his shots, and doesn't have the manners not to bite."

"How right you are Mr. Sulu. It wouldn't do to have our crew injured in the course of their duties. Let's remove that risk." They forced Raines down into a seated position, and his screams filled the air as Sulu came at him with a pair of pillars. Kirk held him as Sulu proceeded to remove his teeth, and a few stimulant injections from Chapel later he stood again, trembling.

The men led Raines through the halls of the Enterprise bloodied and naked, amidst the cat calls and insults of the crew to an unused cargo bay. Tiered seating had been set up, and in the center of the space was a small table with straps on it. Kirk and Sulu bent Raines over the table with his head hanging off the front and his torso pressed to the table top itself, and his legs spread wide and cuffed to the legs.

Kirk leaned in and whispered in Ethan's ear. "I told you that I wouldn't soil my dick with your filth. The members of my crew are not so discriminating. You are theirs for the night. I will expect that by morning that you'll beg for death, and should you be lucky I just might be inclined to grant it." With that Kirk turned and left the man to Sulu and his crew's tender mercies.

AN: Ok, now that I have the need for a shower and a stiff drink, let me say Mirror Kirk is a mean son of bitch. I'd planned to have him kill Raines, shag Bones, and that be that. But no Kirk decided that would not do, and keeps demanding that I make Raines suffer more for what he did to his Bones. I'm thinking that he's finally going to let me kill him in the next chapter though.

Next Chapter: Ethan dies (if Mirror Kirk is quite finished with him). Some Kirk/McCoy post torture and murder sex, more of Lady Wynonna. And maybe some Christopher Pike.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk/McCoy post torture sex, more of Lady Wynonna, and snippets of the Enterprise Crew.

Content Warning: Again I earn the Mature rating with this one. Should you be offended by blood, gore, mentions of rape, or violent bloody deaths, this is not the chapter for you.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk entered his quarters feeling worlds better than he had when he'd left. His good mood increased when he saw McCoy bent over a data pad sitting at Kirk's desk. McCoy looked up as he entered, hurriedly saved his work on the pad, and sat on the edge of his seat ready to rise should Kirk give any indication he should do so. Instead Kirk just smiled at him as he headed for the shower.

There was less blood spattered on Kirk this time around, and this shower was less of an attempt to calm his temper and more of a cleansing before spending the evening with McCoy. He'd meant it when he told McCoy that he wanted no part of Ethan Raines' taint touching McCoy. Kirk refused to allow the other man to touch McCoy, even if it was only his blood on Kirk's hands.

When he exited the shower he toweled off with the warm towel that was waiting and changed into the casual clothes that McCoy had left for him. He raised an eyebrow at the clothing choice, but enjoyed the feel of worn denim encasing his legs and the soft cotton shirt. Kirk stepped out into his quarters and allowed himself a moment to appreciate the sight of Leonard McCoy propped on one elbow reading one of Kirk's books. After a moment Kirk sauntered over to him and leaning over his shoulder placed a soft kiss on his neck atop of his jugular. He trailed kisses up to McCoy's ear where Kirk playfully nipped his earlobe.

By this point McCoy's head had sunk back onto Kirk's shoulder and his grip on the book had gone slack. Kirk reached down and took the book from McCoy's hands lying in on the desk, before turning McCoy towards him and taking a seat on the edge of the desk. "I see you found the library while I was gone. Find anything interesting?"

"A few things, I just started looking around. Any reason why you have a book on ancient civilization's medical practices?"

"I thought you might like that one." There was no need for McCoy to know that Kirk had picked it up shortly before the Kilingon incident. Kirk had intended to start courting him then, but McCoy had been so skittish afterwards that he'd decided to wait for a better opportunity to present itself. And surely enough it had. But McCoy need not know that he'd been besotted for this long. A change of subject was in order.

"Not that it isn't appreciated, but what brought about the change of wardrobe?"

McCoy looked slightly chagrinned. "Sorry about that. You beat your new uniforms here."

"New uniforms?" Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"I incinerated your old ones." McCoy didn't meet his eyes, apparently embarrassed by his reaction. It wasn't that there was blood on the uniforms. McCoy had dealt with the Kilingon gore just fine. It was that the gore in question had at one point belonged to Raines. "Yeoman Rand should be here with new ones shortly if you're planning to go watch the-" McCoy trailed off not knowing what to call the evenings events.

Kirk's lips quirked upwards and he traced a finger slowly along McCoy's jaw. "Actually I'd thought to spend a nice, quiet evening here with you. If I recall correctly I still owe you a movie."

McCoy seemed to relax a bit at that, and Kirk couldn't be sure if it was because he was grateful from the distraction from what was going on in the bowels of the ship, or if he had genuinely begun to enjoy Kirk's company. "I do seem to remember something about that."

"Mh, dinner and a movie it is then. I think we might need to work up an appetite before dinner though." With that Kirk grabbed McCoy's hand and led him to the bedroom. Kirk's nimble fingers made quick work of McCoy's pants and shirt, and in an amazingly brief period of time McCoy found himself naked and on his back on the bed. While distracting him with a kiss Kirk reached over to the bedside table and removed a pair of fleece lined leather cuffs.

Kirk dropped the cuffs on the bed, and taking McCoy's left hand in his pressed a kiss to the pulse point at McCoy's wrist, letting his lips linger before affixing the cuff and tying it to the headboard. He repeated the action with McCoy's right wrist, and stroked McCoy's cheek and jaw gently, smiling all the while. "I always knew that you'd be beautiful." McCoy colored under his gaze, either at the complement, or from annoyance at being given such typically feminine praise.

Any possible thoughts of annoyance that McCoy might have had faded into dust as Kirk began exploring the plains of his chest with his tongue. Kirk's wicked tongue swirled around McCoy's tender nipples, nibbling and laving until McCoy was whimpering and gasping. His legs parted slightly, likely unconsciously, and his hips began to jerk upwards towards Kirk's crotch. Kirk continued his attentions to McCoy's chest and reached to the bedside table for a bottle of lube. He coated McCoy's cock with the lubricant, and proceeded to work the shaft of McCoy's cock with his hand. He kissed his way back up to McCoy's lips, swallowing his gasps and groans.

Then Kirk pressed soft kisses to his jaw up to his ear where he proceeded to whisper a cross between sweet nothings and filth like McCoy had never heard. "So fucking beautiful. So fucking beautiful, and all mine. I'm going to make you scream for me tonight, and you're going to come till I've drained you dry. And I think that you're going to start for me right now. Come on Bones, you know you want it. Come for me." McCoy went rigid, and straining against the cuffs covered Kirk's hand with his come.

Kirk brought his hand to his mouth and sucking his fingers into his mouth made quite a show of cleaning them. He leaned over McCoy and as his chest brushed against McCoy's sensitized nipples he gasped, and came to the realization that Kirk was still fully dressed. Kirk ground his denim clad erection against him, and smiled. "Oh yes Bones, we're just getting started."

He pulled the shirt over his head, and McCoy couldn't deny the not so subtle tingle of attraction as Kirk slowly shed his jeans. Kirk rejoined him on the bed and grabbed the bottle of lube from earlier, coating his fingers liberally before sliding the first into McCoy's entrance. McCoy squirmed, but there was no recoil, thanks to Kirk not being a truly impatient bastard, and his judicious application of the Orion folk remedy. "Not still sore are you?"

McCoy answered, but it was so broken by gasps that Kirk couldn't understand it. "McCoy, we've talked about this. Words, you have to use words."

"I said I'm fine." McCoy growled under him, and started struggling against the restraints. Kirk smirked and added another finger, this time twisting them inside to hit McCoy's sweet spot. This made him jump and the first stirrings of his second erection began to appear.

"Now see that wasn't so hard." He added a third finger, and McCoy tensed a bit, and then slowly relaxed as he wiggled them inside the tight channel. Once he adjusted McCoy was clamping down on his fingers, and gasping. With his free hand Kirk coated his cock in the lubricant, and removing his fingers poised himself at McCoy's ass. "I think you should just about ready for me now. Tell me Bones, do you want me?"

McCoy glared at him, still hating that Kirk made him admit that he wanted it every single time that he fucked him. Cheeks aflame he groaned. "Yes damn it, I want you."

"Now McCoy, I think that you can do better than that." Kirk stroked his cock watching McCoy tense and twist. "Do you want me? Cause if not I can always go over there and finish the job myself." Kirk noted how wide McCoy's eyes got at the idea of being tied to the bed for who knows how long while Kirk got his rocks off.

"Yes, I want you." When Kirk remained still McCoy growled and twisted his hips. "Please , please fuck me. I need you, please."

Kirk grabbed the back of McCoy's head and pressed a sloppy but enthusiastic kiss to his lips, pulling away breathless to smile at him. "Well now doc, all you had to do was ask." With that Kirk entered him ever so slowly, leaving McCoy panting when he could finally feel Kirk's balls brushing his ass. Kirk reached for McCoy's erection using it as a barometer for how the doctor was really feeling. Finding it still mostly hard, Kirk judged that the intrusion was indeed welcome, and began moving in long slow strokes while stroking McCoy's dick.

When McCoy had begun to buck underneath him and groan in frustration and the agony of being just this side of orgasm, Kirk switched the angle of his strokes and began to pummel McCoy's prostate, hitting it with his every stroke. The hand that wasn't pumping McCoy's dick went to McCoy's already oversensitized nipples, and McCoy was transformed into a gasping mess as Kirk wrung his second orgasm from him. As he tightened around Kirk's cock, Kirk froze shuddering as he filled McCoy's ass with his release.

While they lay there gasping and spent Kirk reached up and unfastened McCoy's restraints, before maneuvering him into Kirk's embrace. As they lay letting their heartbeats return to normal he stroked McCoy's hair while the doctor's head rested on his chest, too exhausted to resist Kirk's affections. "Have I mentioned that you were totally worth the fucking wait?"

"That I recall, no?"

"Never going to let you go now, too fucking good. All mine." Kirk continued stroking McCoy's hair, and placed a kiss on his forehead where it rested against him. "Come on doc, I think we could use a shower. Cleaning you up is almost as much fun as getting you dirty."

"Mama always did say that cleanliness was next to godliness."

"Well then, why don't we go get godly." The idea of James T. Kirk ever being referred to as godly almost made McCoy howl with laughter, instead in deference to the fact that the man in question had just given him two mind blowing orgasms, and could kill him with his pinky he only emitted a small chuckle. "What's so funny?"

"Just saw you as a choir boy, with the priests screaming in terror while Spock told them that their superstitions were illogical, and you told them to assimilate into the Empire or die."

"More the pity that I can't make that offer, those priests are some sick bastards, they'd fit right in." Kirk rose and waved McCoy towards the bathroom, and the two proceeded to have as close to a religious experience as either one would come. And true to his word Kirk proceeded to ensure the good doctor's cleanliness with every bit the dedication he'd used to get him dirty.

Meanwhile elsewhere in the ship a varied assembly of the crew watched as Ethan Raines began to beg for death. Scotty growled loudly as he was interrupted from his dinner and the show by a priority one transporter call. Finishing off the last bite of his sandwich, Scotty allowed himself one lingering look at the suffering man. Then he reminded himself very firmly that he was not to piss James T. Kirk off this badly, ever. And that if he did he should have enough sense to manage to slit his wrists or trap himself in an exploding engine core, or something else far less painful than Kirk's wrath.

As Scotty left Uhura looked to Spock, who had Gaila getting him ready for his next turn at Raines. While the Vulcan side of him found this a most horrifying spectacle, the more pragmatic side of his nature acknowledged that the Captain had good reason for framing this man, and seeing him tortured and executed. Thus it was only logical for Spock to participate in the discipline, even if he found the idea of fucking the man distasteful, particularly after he'd been so badly damaged by others. Thus it was Spock who summoned McCoy's second physician, who was ordered to heal Ethan's passage between each member of the crew.

M'Benga was as McCoy had already noticed a sadist of the highest order, who dearly enjoyed seeing his patients writhe. So if he overcompensated in his healing of the man who was slowly beginning to go insane from the constant pain, leaving him progressively tighter and tighter, Spock certainly didn't complain. Instead he focused on Gaila's talented tongue as it coaxed him to readiness, her distress at the scene making her tremble, and adding a delicious flavor to the emotions Spock pulled from her skin while he fucked her mouth.

Upon an all clear sign from the doctor Spock shoved Gaila at Uhura, who proceeded to guide the trembling Orion's head between her legs, allowing her a distraction from that which she found so distressing. Any sounds of pleasure that Uhura might have made were drowned out by Ethan's screams as Spock's oversized and barbed cock tore into him, providing a lovely visual for the observing crew, as the Commander's dark green cock became coated with swirls of red.

In the transporter room Scotty's eyes widened as Wynonna Kirk stepped off of the transporter. He had always known that the lady was beautiful, having seen her on numerous news casts, and from a distance at Starfleet functions. But that didn't prepare him for the shining blonde curls, the sensual smile, and the enchanting blue eyes that her son had obviously inherited from her. He started from where he'd paused and gave her the salute that was her due, having once been a Starfleet officer, and then offered his hand to assist her off of the transportation platform.

She smiled graciously and took his hand, seemingly grateful for the assistance, which would make sense as her dress was elaborate enough to prohibit her from seeing the ground. The full skirt and heavy ornamentation marked her as a dangerous woman, though her visage did not. No other but one who had no fear of assassination would so impede their movements. And so it was the practice for those women who had achieved a level of brutality sufficient enough to leave them a very unappealing target wore their superiority in dresses that closely resembled those of royal courts and gentry from Earth's past. They were heavy, and hampered movement, but they did rustle most enticingly and allow for tantalizing visuals indeed.

"Allow me to show you to your quarters ma'am, I'll have your bags sent around directly."

"Thank you Mr. Scott, that would be ever so kind of you. I'm certain my son is quite busy this evening. It's not every day that one is called upon to execute a traitor." As Scotty led Lady Wynonna to his quarters, he never realized that he'd never told her his name, or that he was steadily giving her information on the ship during their conversation. People often did underestimate the Lady, who had grown accustomed to such treatment after the death of her husband. Her last declarations to George had left most of the world thinking her a sentimental, weak fool. How very little they knew.

AN: Ok, Kirk was more interested in playing with Bones than killing Raines this chapter. So it appears that we'll be getting the death scene next chapter, as well as some Christopher Pike, who is looking forward to meeting you all. Sorry for the wait on this chapter. I had company and can't in good conscious write this kind of scene with young children in the house. As you can see I'm slowly branching out into other characters within this universe. I'm curious to see what ya'll think of them, so as always if you enjoyed please let me know.

Next Chapter: Morning on the Enterprise. Does Kirk give Raines the mercy of death? How will McCoy and Wynonna get along? And why ever has Christopher Pike shown up?


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Lady Wynonna meets McCoy, and Pike is proud of Jim.

Content Warning: Again I earn the Mature rating with this one. Should you be offended by blood, gore, mentions of rape, or violent bloody deaths, this is not the chapter for you.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk woke early as was his habit. McCoy lay sleeping peacefully, worn out from a long evening of Kirk's singularly focused attention. After their shower they'd ordered a replicated pizza and beer, and watched a 20th century action movie where soldiers chased monsters through a space station. The movie wasn't a great cerebral film, but Kirk had to admit the leading men had been quite attractive. The hero of the tale reminded him a great deal of Bones if he squinted.

Kirk smiled to himself as he remembered the rest of the evening's entertainment, and pressed a whisper soft kiss to McCoy's forehead before exiting the bed. With the stealth brought about by living a large part of his life where he could be ambushed or killed were he not cautious he made his way to the bathroom, and quietly readied himself for the day. After dressing himself in the new uniform that Janice had delivered, he left McCoy a short note conspicuously placed on his pillow.

Then he quietly exited the room and made his way to the cargo bay. The pungent smell of iron and fear assailed him as the doors to the turbo lift opened. This was to be expected. He hadn't left Raines here for a pleasant discussion over tea. No, that the man was a miserable lump of flesh, ready to beg for mercy was not at all a surprise. He'd told his men that as long a M'Benga could fix it prior to the execution, then their excesses were permitted. Given that he did not allow typically allow rape on his ship, his men were eager to take what they were given, as meager as the offerings were.

The fact that his mother stood smiling over Raines' prone form wielding a barbed cat of nine tails that threw him a bit. She met his eyes and smiled. "Oh hello dear, I was just having a bit of a chat with your friend Ethan. It seems he's been a very, very bad boy."

Kirk smirked and shook his head, his mother was without a doubt awesome. "Mother, what a nice surprise."

"Now really dear, did you think that I was going to miss meeting your new consort, just because the venue had changed from a space station to a swamp? Besides, you know I love a good execution." She flicked her wrist and sent Ethan to writhing again, as the barbs dug into the flesh of his already shredded back. "Especially a loathsome cockroach like this foul little troll."

"You're right on time then, we'll have to give M'Benga a chance to fix him up first though. I want him fully aware as the bugs tear the flesh from his bones. I want him to feel every single bite." Ethan began to tremble involuntarily, as the two calmly discussed his eminent demise. He would have screamed, begged for mercy, pleaded for his life. Instead he could only tremble in silence, having ruptured his vocal cords screaming earlier in the evening.

Kirk looked over the medical report that M'Benga had left. He was impressed. His crew had been very, very creative. As he had expected Spock participated, though he wouldn't be surprised if he needed a good warm up first. The half-Vulcan was a very interesting creature. Not averse to punishing crew members with the agoniser when their behavior warranted it, or killing to protect his own life, he was oddly renitent when it came to torture for torture's sake.

The mind meld with Spock Prime had shown him what potentially awaited the two of them. Kirk was to become the Emperor of the Terrian Empire. While Spock was to work quietly behind the scenes, before wresting control from him and leaving the Empire weakened with his overly gentle programs and policies. This proved to be disastrous, as once the Empire was weakened there were plenty of predators around to pick the bones. As the catalyst for this was his alternate-self's promise that Spock could indeed lead a revolution, Kirk had no intention of ever allowing the two to meet.

Instead he would make Spock's descent into hedonism so very enjoyable that he would not dream of giving it up, even for the Vulcan's vaulted logic. Considering the fact that it took more than an hour for M'Benga to repair the damage from Spock's pleasure, and that it was under Spock's attentions that Raines ruptured his vocal cords, he felt that his plan was going wonderfully. Allowing Gaila to take up residence with Spock and Uhura had been a mark of sheer genius on his part. Though he still missed her from time to time, his former pet was doing wonders when it came to teaching Spock to embrace his more primal human side.

That Chekov had participated was also no shock, as the young Russian had been practically vibrating with excitement as he watched Kirk torture Raines. He hadn't been surprised to see the boy's nose print on the glass in interrogation, as well as evidence of his enjoyment of the scene splattered on the ground. The young man had practically purred when Kirk patted him on the head and told him that he would get to play with Kirk's new toy that night. The bite marks and barely healed scars along the torso were courtesy of the bright eyed whiz kid.

Sulu had apparently enjoyed himself by taking Ethan's mouth, gums still in shreds from his handiwork earlier. M'Benga had merely noted that a coagulating agent had to be administered, and that it looked as though the prisoner was developing multiple dry sockets by the end of the evening. Considering the diet that Kirk was planning to put the man on this morning, antibiotics were recommended to prevent the development of a dangerous infection, which could rob the Empire of their execution.

Perhaps the one member of the crew that did surprise him was Uhura. It appeared that she'd violated the man with an oversized strap on coated in acetone, before taking a crop and hot wax to his balls and cock. Kirk smiled as he read that part of M'Benga's report, he knew that there was a reason that he liked the woman. There was also he mused, a reason why all his crew members, save he and Spock, were frightened of her. He was certain that Spock remained ever grateful for his Vulcan retracted cock, especially when Uhura was in an ill humor.

He knew that Scotty had been called away from the fun, by an important personage transporting onto the ship. Truthfully he had expected Pike, who had always enjoyed watching Kirk work. Instead his mother had snuck aboard his ship, cavorted with his crew, and now stood holding a bloodied instrument of torture above a very badly beaten man. All in all not the worst surprise that he'd ever had. He draped an arm over his mother's shoulders, and gave her a far gentler squeeze than most would believe him capable of.

Wynonna handed her son the whip and taking a moment scrutinized him thoroughly, using a gentle hand to tilt his face this way and that. Apparently she was pleased with what she saw, as he saw her smile. "I think I like this Doctor of yours son. I haven't seen you this happy in a very, very long time." She shot a hate filled look at Ethan who shuddered miserably, only the brace of the table holding him upright. "And to think this insignificant little bastard thought to take that from you. Tell me that he's suffered son."

"Oh, he's suffered. Pike is going to be on cloud nine off of the video files from this one for months."

"You can expect him at the execution later today. He's looking forward to it. He hasn't stopped crowing about how you singlehandedly found and foiled an attempt to over throw the Empire." She stepped over to Ethan, and proceeded to dig her long fingernails into the wounds at his shoulder. "And how wonderful it is that this same traitor is the one who meant to dispute the claim you lay to McCoy."

"And how precisely did the fool think he was going to do that?"

"Apparently McCoy's father had signed papers giving Ethan here rights to the boy. He'd been waiting until McCoy was finally attached to someone, hoping to rip him from an enjoyable relationship to suffer his depravity."

Kirk's temper flared, and he had to remind himself not to gut the man before him. So instead he growled. "I'm beginning to regret whole heartedly that McCoy's father is already dead, as it does rob me of the pleasure of killing the bastard myself."

"More the pity my darling, but what will be, will be. Just enjoy removing Raines from this plane of existence, and the prize that awaits you. I'm sure that McCoy is grateful for all that you've done?"

Kirk smiled bitterly. "That he is. But this has made him almost too pliant. It's not his gratitude that I want."

Wynonna smiled sadly and patted his cheek. "So like your father you are, Jimmy. I know you want him to love you, but gratitude is a good start. At least when you have no more time that you currently do to spend accustoming him to your lead. He'll come around in time son, I'm sure of it."

M'Benga arrived with his med kit, and stood off to the side awaiting his orders. He nodded as Kirk ordered for the man before them to be put back into as close to prime physical health as could be managed by noon. After giving the requirements that this process be both as painful as possible and still leave the man coherent and lucid, he offered his mother his arm and proceeded to show her back to her quarters. The two made plans to meet in Kirk's quarters at 1000 for breakfast, and Kirk promised to introduce her to McCoy.

This being done he called Chekov, and gave him his very 'special assignment', of guarding Lady Wynonna. Kirk watched as the boy's chest puffed up at the idea of being allowed to guard the Captain's mother, and Kirk felt the hold he had over Chekov via his hero worship growing. The esteem that Chekov held him in was quite high considering that the boy idolized him both as a torturer, and as the man who had spared him the wrath of two irate Vulcans upon the death of Lady Amanda.

Upon entering his quarters he heard the shower running, and began shedding his clothes hastily as he went. He walked into the bathroom, wearing naught but a smile, and opened the door to the shower. McCoy started at the burst of cool air that entered with Kirk's arrival, and then all he could think about was Kirk's lips on his as he was pressed back against the tiles. When Kirk had thoroughly reacquainted himself with McCoy's mouth he pulled back and smiled. "Good morning."

"Thought you were taking out the trash?" McCoy quipped while Kirk's hands began to wander.

"Momentary intermission, apparently some important dignitaries are coming to observe."

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "Who wants to see the sorry bastard die?"

"Well Admiral Pike will be attending the execution, and my mother, who is clever enough to know that when I go after someone who previously wouldn't have even shown up on my radar that you were involved. She did a bit of digging and discovered that you had ties to Ethan in childhood, figured that for me to be going after him it had to have been bad, and thought that you might need some moral support."

McCoy looked surprised at that, seemingly unsure as to why the Lady would have traveled to the ass end of nowhere just to comfort him. "That's awful sweet of her."

"She's found out some very interesting information as well. Apparently your father had signed you over to Raines?"McCoy froze and Kirk's hand went to the back of his neck kneading the clenched muscles. "I take it that you didn't know about this then?" McCoy trembled, and Kirk attributed it to fear until he saw the rage in McCoy's eyes.

"That unbelievable bastard! How could he? Knowing what Ethan was, how could he?" McCoy stuttered. "Who does that to their children?"

Kirk placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Not all fathers are as good to their children as you are to Joanna. I'll take care of this. It's impossible to have a claim to someone if you're dead, and Ethan very soon will be." Kirk stroked McCoy's back gently and tried to soothe a decades old hurt. The pain of having been betrayed by one who should have loved and cared for him would likely never go away completely, but Kirk could help him forget.

"It'll all be over soon Bones. No one is going to take you from me, especially not the sad lump of trash lying in my cargo bay. He will die soon, and you're going to be happy and well taken care of here with me. And as much as I wish I could get my hands on your father at the moment, raising the dead is beyond even my considerable power. Now, we're going to clean you up, introduce you to my mother, and rid the world of an unspeakable bastard. And if you need to break something in the process let me know, and we'll arrange that."

McCoy distractedly allowed Kirk to maneuver him in the shower, insuring that all the soap was washed away. He stood woodenly as Kirk dried him off, and if his hands were shaking with hurt and rage from the reminder that his father had only thought of him as chattel, neither mentioned it. Kirk pulled McCoy over and had him sit on the toilet, while he grabbed his shaving mug and razor. Kirk filled the mug with foam and wrapped a towel around McCoy's neck.

He gently tapped McCoy's cheek, and drew his attention. "You here with me? I don't want to hurt you, because you're not paying attention." McCoy looked down at the straight razor in Kirk's hands, noting that it would produce a nasty cut indeed if Kirk wasn't careful. He nodded, and then stilled, figuring that if Kirk had wanted to kill him, he certainly wouldn't have gone to all this trouble before hand. Apparently satisfied with McCoy's state of mind, Kirk lathered McCoy's cheeks with the brush. He gently drew the blade over McCoy's cheeks and chin, keeping up a soothing flow of conversation the entire time. In short order McCoy was clean shaven, and Kirk caressed the now smooth cheek.

Kirk turned his face this way and that appraisingly, and then whistled low and loud. "Damn Bones, you're damn fine scruffy, but you do clean up very, very well. If we weren't meeting my mom in a little while, I'd make you forget your own name." Kirk stroked his chin and tilted it up for a kiss. "Come on, we're going to have to get dressed, because otherwise I'm not going to be responsible for my actions."

"When are you ever?" McCoy quipped as Kirk half drug half led him to the bed room. When he approached the closet reaching for the spare uniform that had been kept there since his first evening with the Captain Kirk reached out and lazily grabbed his wrist.

"Ah, ah, ah." Kirk wagged his finger at him smiling slightly. "You're off duty today. Which means you're going to wear some real clothes for a change." Kirk pulled out a moss green cashmere sweater, and a pair of black pants. In short order McCoy was dressed, with Kirk checking out both the fit of the sweater and the delicious way that the pants hung to McCoy's ass. He walked around surveying McCoy, letting him once again feel the admiration in his stare. "Now I remember why I wanted to see you dressed properly."

Kirk slowly backed McCoy into the wall, placing open mouthed kisses along McCoy's jaw and worrying the corded muscles in his neck with his teeth. He continued up to McCoy's ear, and his warm breath made McCoy shudder. "As good as those clothes look on you, they'd look better on the floor by my bed." Kirk sighed and pulled himself away reluctantly, stealing one last kiss. "Unfortunately I promised my mother that we'd meet her for breakfast, and then I have people to kill. So, playtime will have to wait."

Kirk greatly approved of the sight of McCoy lips parted and breath coming fast, pupils dilated and face flushed. He acknowledged that he might not have McCoy's mind, heart, and soul yet. But the body, the body was all his. The rest would come in time. He would make sure of it.

At that moment the door chimed, and his mother's voice came through the comm. system. "Jim, dear, may I come in?"

Kirk smiled and pressed the comm. Button on the wall beside McCoy. "Just a minute mom." Kirk cupped McCoy's cheek, and smiled at him. This smile was one that McCoy hadn't seen before, but he recognized it none the less. It reminded him of the look that Joanna got when she was especially proud of something and wanted to show it to him. "Don't worry Bones, she's going to love you." With that he stepped away and pressed the button to admit his mother.

McCoy wasn't sure what he had expected, but the woman was even more beautiful in person, though she seemed much colder than she had in their comm. chat. Kirk introduced them, and the Lady took his hand, and stared unblinking into his eyes for a moment. He felt heavily the judgment that was taking place, and resisted the urge to shift nervously. After an indeterminate amount of time she smiled, and her face softened. "Yes, Doctor McCoy, I think you'll do quite nicely. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

McCoy smiled slightly, an almost involuntary reaction to the resounding approval in the Lady's tone. "Likewise ma'am."

Disaster averted, not that he'd been expecting one mind you, Kirk ushered the group towards the breakfast table. During their meal his mother was at her most charming, skillfully relaxing McCoy and making him feel comfortable in the group. Kirk took this as a very positive sign, as she seemed to genuinely approve of McCoy. To have her do otherwise could easily have been disastrous. Soon it was time for him to go meet Pike at the transporters, and so he made an offer to walk his mother back to her quarters. He raised an eyebrow at her breezy dismissal. "No need for that, Leonard and I will be fine. You run along and do tell the admiral that I said hello."

Slightly anxious about leaving the two of them alone, but able to discern no ill intent from his mother, he rose and bid them farewell. Once he had gone, Wynonna looked over at McCoy and with a mischievous grin uttered a statement that floored McCoy. "Finally, I thought he'd never leave. Now we can really talk. What kind of foolish stunt did my son pull to get you into his bed?" Wynonna calmly sipped her coffee while McCoy blushed and stammered.

Meanwhile in the transporter room Kirk watched as Admiral Pike appeared on the transporter pad. He met the man's eyes and gave him a textbook salute. Pike returned the gesture, and the smirk he wore pulled at the scar on his face that he carried from his time with Nero. His eyes were hard and assessing, examining the crew in the room. He wore his trademarked 'I fear no evil cause the devil's my bitch' expression. It had in fact been known to make a lesser man than Kirk piss himself.

Instead Kirk smiled and spoke easily. "Welcome to my ship Admiral, so glad you could join us for the execution. Please, allow me to show you to your quarters."

Pike merely nodded minutely and Kirk waited for him to step to his side. Then detailing to Kirk the festivities that awaited them that day Kirk led the Admiral from the room. The man still walked with a slight hitch in his gait due to the fight with Nero, but the Captain wisely averted his eyes, turning a blind eye to his mentors seeming infirmity. Knowing Pike he was probably just waiting for some dumb son of a bitch to think him weak so that he could rechristen his knife.

He'd been quite put out when his original one had been lost on the Nardia. It had just taken on such a nice red sheen from where the blood of the men he'd slain had impregnated the metal. As he left the crew breathed a collective sigh of relief, and took a moment to thank their luck stars that they served under Kirk, and not the Admiral. Their missions might be dangerous, but at least their commander was sane. No one on the Enterprise had ever been killed just for sneezing on a Tuesday.

In short order Kirk had led Pike to the quarters reserved for their most honored guests. Once the door had closed behind them, Pike turned to Kirk, and the ghost of a smile appeared on his face. He appeared younger with a smile on his face, and Kirk resisted the urge to bask in this man's approval. Pike brought his hand to cup Kirk's cheek. "There's my beautiful boy. I've missed you son." Kirk turned into the touch, enjoying the warmth of both Pike's touch and his words. "I'm proud of you Jim, I've been watching your work. And you've made me very, very proud."

AN: Sorry for the delay. Hopefully this will give ya'll some further insight into the Mirrorverese as I see it. The mythos I've chosen is the one in which Humans and Vulcan end up enslaved, because Spoke left the empire weak to invasion after he ousted Kirk. Given that to my way of thinking Spock Prime might have given Kirk a bit of an opps my bad in the mind meld. From what I can find Vulcan's are respected, but not the most badass in the Mirrorverse. Far as I can tell they totally gave Sulu his scar though, hence Spock's warning and Sulu's oh shit expression.

Matters for consideration: I've been offered the service of a beta. I've had them in the past, and historically it hasn't worked out that well. Beyond that it typically adds at least a few days wait to the wait for a next chapter. Despite that, if people feel that there are substantial issues, let me know, and I'll consider it, as the person offering seems quite kind.

Final warning: NEVER use acetone internally. It is toxic, and very, very damaging. As we don't care what happens to Raines, that makes it ok for fiction, not so good for happy times in real life. Also, I'm assuming that if we can travel at Warp we've cured STDs. This is not the case in real life, so if you decide to play like Kirk and Bones, please put your rain coat on. Good sex shouldn't kill you. *steps off soap box* Preaching over now.

Next Chapter: Ethan dies. Wynonna and McCoy chat. Kirk has daddy issues.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Lady Wynonna meets McCoy, Pike is proud of Jim, and Ethan is executed.

Content Warning: Again I earn the Mature rating with this one. Should you be offended by blood, gore, mentions of rape, or violent bloody deaths, this is not the chapter for you.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

It would have surprised an observer to see Pike smiling softly while caressing James T. Kirk. None would have expected to see Pike praising the younger man, nor would they have expected a man known as the harbinger of death to be receptive to the gentle touches being bestowed on him. Of course as anyone who'd ever shared Kirk's bed could have told you, the man was an unrestrained hedonist, who greatly enjoyed the feel of skin on skin. What they couldn't have told you was that as commanding as Kirk was in every area of his life, including the bedroom, he occasionally needed the comfort of a soft touch.

Pike understood this, and as the only one who'd ever had a snowballs chance in hell of reigning Kirk in, took advantage of it mercilessly. The other admirals had speculated for years, that Pike must still have one hell of a whip arm to keep Kirk in check. This proved to Pike explicitly that he worked with idiots. Kirk would not bow to the lash, instead he would snarl and bite, and eventually find some way to kill you with your own weapon. But he blossomed under the one thing that he'd wanted most of his life.

Kirk needed Daddy to love him. His father's premature death and his mother's remarriages to men who had tried to rule him with a rod instead of regard had left him craving the respect, approval, and love of a father. And while Pike wasn't his father, the man had made himself into a damn convincing substitute. So while the higher ups at Starfleet held the misconception that he ruled Kirk with pain and punishment, he actually created in this brilliant being a need for his approval. A need for him so pressing that Kirk had braved the Narada to rescue the one man that could fulfill it for him.

He allowed Kirk to bask in the affectionate touch for a few moments before pulling away and gesturing to the couches in his quarters. "Sit, and tell me about this latest conquest of yours Jim." And then he proceeded to listen, as Kirk confided his plans for the doctor, smiling and nodding as he was sure George Kirk would have done had he still been here to see his beautiful boy. When the conversation was over he sent the boy on his way with a promise to see him later. But not before he had carded his fingers through the soft blonde hair, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

While Kirk was getting reacquainted with Admiral Pike, McCoy was trying not to swallow his own tongue shocked that Lady Wynonna was actually asking questions about his sex life. The one that he was currently sharing with her son, words once again failed him in describing how fucked up the situation that he'd found himself in was. She merely smiled at his bewilderment, and laughed gently while refilling his coffee and calmly offering him sugar and cream.

"Come now Doctor McCoy, I know that you wouldn't have come to my son easily, or even of your own initiative. May as well tell me what he's done?" At his panicked look she merely sighed. "It won't hurt a bit, I'm not collecting information for Jim. But I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

"Help me?" McCoy looked at her incredulously.

"It's obvious that you're not entirely happy about your situation. I could be persuaded to help you." McCoy's eyes widened at the flirtatious wink that she sent him. He thought about the offer for a half a second. She was right. He wouldn't have come to Kirk of his own initiative. But he'd made his choice to serve the man of his own free will. And despite the way that servitude grated his pride, Kirk had thus far been a benevolent master. He didn't deserve to be cuckolded, by his own mother no less.

"I could always tell Jim that you made advances if you refuse me. I'm sure he'd be most creative in your punishment." She said this as casually as if she were discussing the weather. She looked down studying her perfectly manicured nails while she waited for his answer.

The look McCoy gave her was both disbelieving and disgusted. "That may be. But I will not repay the kindness your son has shown me with betrayal. And I find it disgusting on the most base of levels that you would repay the respect and affection he has for you this way."

He felt himself flush at her cruel smile, and fervently hoped that Kirk kept his word about not using Joanna as a punishment against him. There were some things though that a man simply couldn't live with himself after. It would appear for him that fucking his lover's mother was one such line for him. Just when he thought himself past the point of shock he heard a soft applause and looked over incredulous to Wynonna who was smiling much more sincerely now, and looked much less menacing.

"Well done Doctor, you passed my test fabulously."

"Test? You came onto me, and offered to spread lies that likely would have gotten me killed as a test?" McCoy's hands shook with anger, and his voice rose on each word rapidly achieving near record volume.

"Do you have any better ideas as to how I could have discovered your true intentions to my son, Doctor?"

"What?" McCoy asked head spinning with the mood swings evidenced by this woman.

"You may not love him Doctor, and he may have blackmailed you in the beginning of your relationship. But you just turned down a way out Doctor. Under considerable duress no less, I'd say that's pretty telling wouldn't you?"

"But…I..he..you.."

"Somewhere in there I'm sure there is a sentence just dying to get out." She looked at him placatingly. "You don't need to fret Doctor McCoy. You make my son happy. As such, you are far better protected than you know. My son is, as you have seen over the past week, a merciless man when it comes to protecting what is his. I am more so when it comes to insuring what is best for my child. As you make him happy, I will personally vaporize anyone that threatens that happiness. Now why don't you tell me how things started for the two of you? I'm imagining some sort of blackmail?"

"How did you?"

"Doctor McCoy I am many things, blind to my son's faults is not one of them. I know he's been interested in you for quite some time, and patience has never been his strong suit. So what did he use to get his foot in the door with you?"

McCoy took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head at the surrealness of this conversation. "If you really must know he took advantage of recent events to prove that I beyond doubt or question needed him to help protect my family from those who would threaten them."

She laughed softly and held up a hand to quell his anger at her actions. "I'm sorry Doctor, I'm not laughing at your situation. It's just that Jim is so very much like his father."

"What? Like his father? How?"

"Well you see doctor, and by the way I will deny this should you ever mention this to my son, my relationship with George started much the same way."

"But you loved him, everyone knows the story."

"Yes, I did love him, but not at first. Instead my husband blackmailed me into becoming his woman, and later his wife. You see back when we were just getting started, George hadn't even worked himself up to bridge crew yet, my little brother found himself in a bit of a jam. He'd broken the law. Stolen from the Empire to be precise, and they meant to execute him for it. Until George intervened that is."

"And his price for saving your brother was you?"

Wynonna nodded. "Yes, though he was very subtle about it. It wasn't as if he branded me, or paraded me through the Kelvin in a collar or any other such foolishness. Instead it was merely understood between us that he was going to court me, I was going to marry him, and that he would never let me go until the day that he died."

"Seems a bit obsessive doesn't it?"

"Undoubtedly Doctor McCoy, but at the same time there is a heady thrill that comes with being the obsession of a great man. I expect that you're beginning to feel this already. In this you must come to recognize your enjoyment as beneficial. My son is a better man than most, he will not force you to accept him, but at the same time he will be relentless in his pursuit of you. At times we must come to acknowledge that there are things we cannot change."

She cupped his cheek gently. "I could not change the fact that my brother's life depended on the good nature of George Kirk. Likewise you cannot change the fact that my son has become enamored with you. You can however accept your situation and wield the power that it gives you well."

"Power?"

"McCoy men since the beginning of time have been controlled by their dicks. My son for all his brilliance is no different. You now hold a great power over my son. Wield it well, and you can be very happy in your relationship, no matter how it began."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Doctor McCoy, that should you give my son what he wants from you, you will want for nothing. He will grant you your heart's every desire. The one thing that he will not do is set you free. The sooner you become accustomed to this, the sooner you can begin to see the opportunities that your change in status affords you."

Before McCoy could respond, the door chimed signaling Kirk's return. "I know it's a lot to process Doctor, but you think about what I've said."

Kirk walked over to McCoy and in deference to his mother's presence pressed a relatively chaste kiss to his lips. Straightening he looked over at his mother and smiled. "It looks like you two had fun while I was gone, I hope you weren't too hard on him mom."

"Now son, you know I trust your judgment in these matters explicitly." Kirk resisted rolling his eyes, remembering all the assorted antics that she had pulled trying to split him and Carol up. Granted his mother had been right and she had been a gold digging whore, but still. That she would trust his judgment when it came to his relationships, yeah he'd believe that when a Kilingon walked up and tried to kiss him instead of ripping his lungs out.

"You know mom, I think Admiral Pike would love to see you again. Why don't I have Chekov escort you to his quarters?"

Wynonna smiled softly. "No need for that son, I can tell when I'm interrupting. I'll see you at the execution." With that she looked at McCoy, and smiled softly. "Remember Leonard, I'm here for you if you need to talk." At his stilted nod, she stood and showed herself out leaving him to get lost in Kirk's assessing stare.

After a moment Kirk's lips twitched and his hands clenched. "What did she do?" The tone was low and dangerous, and McCoy felt himself shiver.

"What do you mean?" McCoy asked hoping that his confusion from the earlier conversation would carry him through this one, as historically he couldn't lie worth a damn. Maybe he could just play it off like nothing happened?

Kirk waved his hands agitatedly. "She never trusts my judgment when it comes to my love life. So what did she do?"

McCoy sighed, figuring that the truth would not make Kirk happy, but that it would be far worse if he lied and got caught. "She tested my intentions towards you, and was quite pleased when I passed."

"Tested how?" Kirk pressed and McCoy cursed a mental blue streak. He so did not want to be having this conversation with a man who, while historically very gentle with him, was famous for a very volatile temper.

"She offered her assistance in removing me from our relationship." There that should be vague enough.

"She came on to you didn't she?" Kirk scowled at the thought.

"Yes. But she was very happy when I told her no." McCoy hedged trying to play the situation off in the best light possible, but damn that was hard. There wasn't really any good way to play off your mother trying to steal your, well whatever he was to Kirk.

"You turned her down?" At McCoy's nod he smiled widely. "I bet that went over fabulously."

"Not so much, she threatened to tell you that'd I'd made advances. Which is insulting really? I mean do I look that stupid, or suicidal?"

Kirk chuckled. "And you still turned her down?"

McCoy nodded. "Well yes, I mean granted it's not like I was beating down your door, but I didn't exactly run screaming from you now did I? It wasn't as if you didn't give me a choice. After what you've done for me, you deserved better than being cuckolded by your own mother."

"And I'm sure she was every bit as pleased with your loyalty as I am." Kirk smiled softly and ran his thumb down McCoy's jaw before tapping him on the chin lightly. "Not that I doubted you of course." He smiled at McCoy his face softening, which made him look his age, which McCoy kept forgetting was so very young in the scheme of things. "But still, my mother's right, it does please me inordinately that you refused her, especially since she have likely tried to have you killed had you accepted her offer. And I really can't have that."

He stoked McCoy's jaw again before tilting it up for another kiss. "I promise you a very nice time after this is finished. After all loyalty should have its rewards. For the moment however, I have an execution to oversee. I had meant to ask you before this. Do you want to come see him die? Will that help you? Give you closure or whatever the head shrinkers call it?"

McCoy sighed and closed his eyes briefly. "Do I want to? No. Need to even though the idea of torture sickens me. Yes. I need to know that this bastard is really gone. So yes I'm going to watch him die, all the while knowing that every moment of pain that he's suffered is because of me."

"That's taking a lot on yourself Bones. A large part of it was due to the fact that he's a smug bastard who pissed me off."

"Again because he trifled with what was yours, which still leads back to me. And I know I should be a bigger and better person than this, but damn if I can make myself care that this bastard is dying because of me. I should care, but I don't. I should be horrified at what this man has suffered, and instead I find myself grateful that he will die in agony. What does that make me?"

Kirk cupped McCoy's cheek and smiled at him sadly. He hated that this was taking such a toll on McCoy, and that it made him doubt himself. "It makes you human McCoy. It makes you human. This man did something horrible to those that you cared for, and planned the same and worse for you. It's natural to want him dead, and to need to see him suffer. It makes you human, nothing more, nothing less." He kissed his forehead gently and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Come on. If you're attending, we have to get you dressed."

**Dagohba 1200 **

Kirk, McCoy, Pike, Wynonna, and the bridge crew of the Enterprise stood on a platform overlooking the wild swamplands of Dagohba. Kirk stepped to the platform and smiled for the camera, recording his every word for an audience back on Earth, and throughout the Empires territories. "We have come to witness the execution of Ethan Alexander Raines, found guilty of high treason against the Empire by the High Court of the Empire. He has been sentenced to death by scaphism. Let the execution begin."

Chekov and Sulu drug the naked, struggling man to the two hollowed boats that were laid on the platform. They forced him onto his back in one of the boats, and after aligning his head, hands and feet with the holes cut in the sides of the boats, they chained him at the shoulders, waist and hips. Then they flipped the top boat over him, settling it down unto the notches that would connect the two. They screwed heavy bolts in place, insuring that the two boats were now one cohesive whole.

And then they proceeded to smear the exposed parts of him with honey. Sulu pinched his nose closed to force him to open his mouth, while Chekov proceeded to pour a mixture of milk and honey down the man's throat, ignoring his attempts to pull away. Finally when his stomach was so full that he was moaning as he gasped for breath Kirk signaled them to stop.

"For the crimes that this man has committed against the Empire, the penalty is death. He will die of exposure, the stinging bites of insects, and the putrefaction of his own filth as he floats here in these waters. He shall die in prolonged agony, as is the price for treason against our great Empire." With this he gave a signal, and the boat was pushed off the platform into the murky swamp waters. After it was no longer under the screen that protected the observers from predators, insects rapidly began to swarm. They stung Ethan's exposed flesh, and his screams could be clearly heard on the platform where the observers waited.

Kirk stepped over to McCoy, and neither Pike nor his mother missed that he leaned into McCoy's ear, smiling as he whispered. "I told you that I'd make him suffer to his last breath. That he'd pay for what he'd done to you. Can you rest now?"

McCoy looked upon the face of the screaming man, battered nearly beyond his recognition. This miserable husk of a man was no longer the monster he had feared. He would never hurt anyone ever again, and he would never inspire fear in McCoy again. When he looked upon this atrocity, all he felt was a muted empathy, as even one who'd wronged him so grievously could still stir compassion within him in this state. He looked into Kirk's shining eyes, and understood clearly that this was intended as a gift for him. That Kirk expected him to be grateful, and as much as the truth sickened him, he was in his own way.

He was grateful that he would never know this man's touch. He was thankful that his plans for McCoy's precious baby had never been realized. But at the same time he could not find joy in suffering like this. Even monsters did not deserve this. And in this moment, he understood what Lady Wynonna had meant. Kirk would never let him go, and to run from a man capable of this was folly of the most ridiculous kind. So instead, he would have to accept the gifts given him as they were intended even if they horrified him.

"Yes, thank you. I don't think that he'll trouble me again." And if he was sure that the horrific sight before him would haunt his dreams, Kirk didn't need to know that.

"This is going to take a pretty good while. Would you like to go back to the ship and wait?" And here again Kirk was all consideration and gentleness when dealing with him. The contradiction was stunning, and he almost saw what Lady Wynonna had meant about it being a heady thing to be the object of a powerful man's obsession. She had neglected to mention that it was scary as all hell though.

"That sounds like a good idea. Even in this state I find him a bit-" McCoy paused looking for the proper word. "-disconcerting." Kirk's hand stroked soothing hands on his back, and pressed his shoulder in reassurance.

"Well then, there's no need to for you to stay then. I'll have Scotty beam you back up, and I'll follow shortly."

McCoy nodded, and allowed Kirk to walk him back to the transportation site. He did his best to ignore Ethan's screams, and pressed his eyes closed as the transporter sped him back to the relative safety of the Enterprise. And if he scrubbed two layers of skin off in the shower trying to rid himself of the feeling of Ethan's blood on his hands, while his tears fell, no one needed to know.

AN: And there you have it folks. Ethan's execution. Kirk felt that this particularly gruesome way to die suited Raines crimes. Let me know what you think of the tale so far.

Next Chapter: McCoy has guilt, Kirk has a plan, and there is more to Lady Wynonna and Admiral Pike than meets the eye.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy freaks out, Kirk needs a plan, and there is more to Lady Wynonna and Admiral Pike than meets the eye.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk walked into his quarters with a smile on his face. An enemy was well on his way towards dead, and he had a very fine man waiting for him. Life was good. He looked around for McCoy as he moved through his quarters. Not in the sitting room, or at the desk, not waiting in bed. Kirk shook his head in disappointment at that, but it appeared that even he wasn't that lucky. Seeing the closed door to the bathroom he walked over and listened, surprised to hear the shower running again.

Apparently Mama McCoy had been serious about the cleanliness being next to godliness, as it was unlikely that McCoy would need a shower so soon. Even though the swamp was rank neither he nor McCoy had left the climate controlled dome, and it hadn't been more than a few hours since he'd joined McCoy here this morning. He shucked off his clothes and proceeded into the bathroom, deciding that he could deal with this cleanliness fetish his bedmate seemed to have, he did after all enjoy playing with McCoy under the warm spray.

When Kirk entered the shower, his first thought was that McCoy's stance was all wrong. His arm was against the shower wall, and his forehead rested against the tile. He still hadn't noticed Kirk's presence, hadn't even responded to the change in temperature when Kirk came in behind him. After a moment's observation, Kirk realized that McCoy's shoulders were shaking. He placed a hand on McCoy's shoulder, the contact causing him to jump, and give a startled yell. Sure enough when he turned McCoy to face him, his eyes were red and swollen.

"You've been crying. What's wrong?"

McCoy looked at Kirk, head cocked to the side with concerned eyes, and had such a hard time reconciling this man with the one that he'd seen stand unaffected at Ethan's execution. The dissonance was so great that he fought off hysterical laugher. How was he supposed to be in a relationship with this man? What would it take for him to see the side of the man that his enemies did? What made him so different? The questions tossed around in his mind, spinning and making him dizzy.

As Kirk continued to stare at him, he realized that he needed to say something. But what did you say in a moment like this? Kirk's hands began to probe, perhaps assessing for a hidden physical injury and McCoy cleared his throat. "It's nothing really, just seeing Ethan again. Even like that, was a little overwhelming."

Kirk frowned, and cupped McCoy's cheek. "I should never have let you go down there. This was supposed to make this better for you. I wanted to make it easier on you, not hurt you."

"In time it will, at the moment I'm still just a little shaky. I just need a little bit of time."

Kirk smiled at him running a hand down his side and around to his back, then pulled him closer so that their bodies pressed against each other in the warm spray. "You take all the time that you need. I'll be right here." He kissed McCoy's lips gently, giving him a playful nip as he pulled away, putting his lips close to McCoy's ear. "I'll always be right here." McCoy was grateful that Kirk couldn't see his eyes from his position, and was glad that he had been able to suppress his shudder. _Now the only problem will be keeping you from finding out that is exactly what I'm afraid of._

Kirk's fingers began to wander. "What do you say that we get you out of here before you're all wrinkly?" McCoy nodded and allowed Kirk to dry him off, and admitted a bit of surprise when he was bundled into a comfy bathrobe instead of Kirk having him walk around naked. "You're so tense." Kirk said as he kneaded the muscles in McCoy's neck. "Always so very tense, I'm going to help you with that."

As Kirk felt the tension in McCoy's shoulders he kicked himself. He should have known better than to let McCoy see what he'd done to Raines. It was all well and good for McCoy to say that he wanted to see the man suffer. It was another thing entirely to have the results of the suffering thrust in his face. If he didn't handle this right it would be the Kilingon incident all over again, and that would be a shame. After all Kirk really did prefer the ropes tethering McCoy to his bed to be ceremonial.

While her son was trying to figure out how he could soothe the insecurities of his overly sensitive bedmate, Wynonna Kirk walked through the halls of the ship, collecting gossip and matching faces to the files that she'd studied before coming onto the ship. Some like the blushing Chekov, had fawned over her incessantly, and some like Uhura had taken one look at her and wisely found other activities to make themselves both useful and unavailable to talk to the Lady. Which in some cases Wynonna couldn't blame them. After all Jim had found Uhura's 'Dumb hick who sleeps with farm animals' comment much funnier than Wynonna had.

No, getting information from Jim's crew wasn't the issue. More problematic was the fact that someone had been stalking her for two decks now. A lesser woman would be frightened, of course a lesser woman wouldn't have gone out of her way to ditch the security detail that her son had provided. But really she could only take so much fawning and having her beauty compared to the moonlight over St. Petersburg.

So here she was with her hand on the dagger hidden in the folds of her skirt, and pressed against the wall in an alcove waiting for her pursuer to show himself. An ensign walked past looking down at a padd, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Had she been imagining things? A few moments passed and she let her hand move away from the dagger. As she moved her hand away she heard a noise down the hall a few feet past where she was hiding. Her eyes darted towards the sound and in that brief instant, she felt a hand against her throat pining her to the wall while another caught her wrist as her hand closed around the pommel of her knife.

"Now sweetheart, you're not going to be needed that." He pulled her arm above her head and took the dagger from her. He enjoyed the twitch of her lips as he leaned in and pressed his lips to her collarbone, and breathed deeply of her scent.

"Hello to you too Admiral." While his hands on her were harsh, there was a playful twinkle in his eyes that let her know that she was in no real danger from him.

"You've been avoiding me Wynonna." His voice was low and dangerous, and she felt herself quicken at the rough growl. He let go of her throat, then reached down and grabbed her other hand in one of his before pulling it up to rest with the other above her head.

She smiled slyly, lowering her eyes, and he crowded her pressing her further into the wall, placing a knee between her legs. "Have I now?" She tried to keep from squirming as he moved his knee back and forth pressing into her mound, the heat of him still very pronounced through the layers of her skirt. Then he shifted, forcing her to her tiptoes, and pressing her tighter to the wall.

"You know you have, darling. You've been a very, very bad girl. Don't you think that you should make it up to me?"

She looked at him with affected innocent eyes, and blinked at him from under long lashes. She made her voice a soft simper, which both of them knew to be false, but he none the less found erotic as she said. "Why Admiral Pike, however would I do something like that?"

"Well you could always join me in my quarters. I'm sure the two of us could come up with something." And suddenly she felt his deft fingers along the inside of her thigh, providing much more direct stimulation than the well placed knee had. "Or I could just keep rubbing you off here in the hallway. Would you enjoy that? A prim and proper lady like yourself, whimpering and gasping where any commoner could walk by and see your shame?"

"Chris." She panted and her hips ground upwards towards his touch. "Please."

"Please what sweetheart?"

"Please. Please, let me make it up to you."

He took her dagger and brought the flat of the blade to his lips, eyes never leaving hers when he placed a kiss on the dagger before returning it to the hiding place in her skirt. "That's my good girl." At that Pike's smile widened and he lowered her to the floor. He let her get her feet under her, and then released her hands, before stepping back and offering her his arm. She smiled as she rested her hand on the outstretched arm, and enjoyed the leisurely walk back to his rooms.

AN: Look for more Kirk/McCoy in the next chapter, but Pike was rather insistent that he get his hands on Wynonna this time around. However do we think Kirk's going to take his 'daddy' together with mommy dearest? You'll have to wait and see, but in the meantime feel free to let me know what you think about this chapter or the story in general.

Next Chapter: Wynonna shows Pike that she's very sorry for neglecting him, McCoy learns something new, and Kirk practices some damage control.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk practices some damage control, and proves to be a rather effective cock block.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

As Kirk felt the tightly corded muscles beneath his fingers he realized that he'd made a huge misstep. Not only had he frightened McCoy, who had several really good reasons to be skittish. On top of that he'd confronted quite possibly the gentlest man he'd ever known with the fact that the man he was sleeping with was capable of levels of brutality that made most of the Empire's staff look like rank amateurs. Not, all things being considered, his smartest move. He'd been going under the thought that if Raines had done to him what he'd done to McCoy he'd have wanted to see him choke on his own tongue while birds pecked out his eyes.

McCoy on the other hand, no matter what he'd said before hand was a healer. The proper tact to have taken with him would have been to have come to him once it was over, told him that Raines was gone, and omitted as many of the bloody details as possible. He'd meant the slaughter of McCoy's boogie man as a gift, a dramatic gesture of courtship as it were. Instead he'd fucked up royally. And he had to fix it, because damned if he hadn't enjoyed the hints of things to come as McCoy had slowly started to warm to him over the past few days.

"McCoy you really have to try to relax. It can't be good for you to be this tense." Resisting the urge to growl in frustration over his stupidity, which would have only made the situation worse, he steered McCoy towards the bed, and indicated that he sit. Once McCoy was seated, Kirk turned and crossed to the bar, and poured a heavy handed three fingers of bourbon into a glass.

"You're looking a little jittery, Bones, drink this. Then take your robe off, and lay on your stomach. I'll be right back." Kirk walked back into the bathroom leaving McCoy with his bourbon, and if his hands shook while he drank, he figured he was entitled. It wasn't that he hadn't known that Kirk was capable of great cruelty. It was just that some where amidst the kisses, cheesy movies, and fevered glances that the man sent his way, he'd forgotten for a time just what the other side of this man looked like.

Seeing Ethan, had brought back on a visceral level exactly what James T. Kirk was not only capable of, but famous for. McCoy had never been a thrill seeker, but being in the other man's company was like dancing on a knife's edge. McCoy wasn't sure what exactly Kirk would do if he tried to run from him, but he could tell you categorically that it wouldn't be good. And while he certainly seemed enamored with him now, there was no guarantee that Kirk wouldn't tire of him, and then where would he be?

With these dark thoughts he drained the glass that Kirk had given him, and resisted the urge to refill it. Instead he shrugged out of the robe, set it beside the bed, and lay down on his stomach, grateful that for once Kirk didn't want to see his eyes. He wasn't sure that he'd be able to hide these thoughts or bottle them away so readily, and he damn sure didn't want to talk about them.

Kirk returned and McCoy felt him climb into the bed and straddle his back. Then he heard a click, and felt warm drops on his back. He jumped involuntarily. "It's alright Bones, it's just oil. Your back has more kinks in it than an Orion whore house. Now just take deep breaths, and you'll feel better soon." With that Kirk's strong calloused hands began kneading at the tense knots in McCoy's shoulders and the worked his way down his back. The oil tingled where ever it was rubbed, and the strength of Kirk's hands was making quick work of the knots that ran along McCoy's spine.

As he stroked McCoy Kirk began to speak, his tone low and casual, as if he wasn't addressing his bedmates innermost fears. "I know I scared you today. You can admit that, you know. It won't make me angry or upset me." Kirk continued stroking McCoy's back. "As much as you wanted Ethan gone, and as much as you thought you wanted him to suffer, you still feel compassion for him don't you? Still grieve for a man who deserves none of your pity."

McCoy tensed underneath him at the perceived disapproval, bristling expecting Kirk's next words to be those of censure not praise. "And that's alright. I wouldn't have you any other way, and you've always been more forgiving and compassionate than any man has reason to be. It's one of the things that I find so interesting about you." McCoy started breathing again at the reassurance that Kirk wasn't annoyed by his compassion. The thought that he might be had terrified him, because the idea of giving up that part of himself left McCoy feeling bereft in ways that he could hardly imagine.

"So the fact that you got down to the planet and freaked, that's alright. I should have anticipated that, and kept you away from the planet today." McCoy hissed as Kirk's fingers dug into a particularly troublesome knot. "What's not alright is you hiding from me. What you did before there, in the shower, passing off that you were just uncomfortable seeing Raines because of what's happened in the past. That's not ok. Don't lie to me like that again."

By this point Kirk had finished with his back and had moved to the side gesturing for McCoy to turn over onto his back. Once he had Kirk met his eyes and held them, and though McCoy couldn't swear to it, after all who could with Kirk, he looked sincere. "It scares you that I am what I am, that I'm able to do the things that I can do, without guilt. And I can't blame you for that, but know this, I have never once treated a lover the way I treat my enemies. I don't mean to start now. The things I do, the man I become when I put on that uniform, it's a job Leonard. This is different from and separate from that."

"I know that words aren't going to mean much, so I'll give you proof. But that's going to take time. For the moment, try to trust me. I know I'm a scary son of a bitch. I worked damn hard to be thought of that way, but to be fair, I haven't given you any reason to be afraid of me now have I? Done anything that made you think that I might hurt you?"

McCoy thought about it. He remembered the tenderness of his deflowering, the way that Kirk comforted him when he was frightened, and that he'd been soothed even after his punishment. None of these were the mark of a man who meant to do him harm. "No, you haven't."

"Then until I can prove myself to you at least try to trust me. I know that it's hard for you, and I know that what's happened to you in the past makes it counterintuitive, but I do mean it when I tell you that I won't hurt you."

McCoy looked at him through guarded eyes, and Kirk cursed himself again for not having enough sense to dodge this emotional landmine. He lay down and pulled McCoy into his arms. His head resting on Kirk's chest as he gently ran his fingers over McCoy's hair, and in soothing circles on his back. "It's alright McCoy, you'll see." Finally after an indeterminable amount of time, with every instant feeling like an eternity to Kirk, McCoy started to relax in his embrace once more, mostly due to a combination of emotional stress and exhaustion, and the alcohol that he'd consumed. Of course the sedative that Kirk had slipped into McCoy's glass might have had a little something to do with it.

Once McCoy had fallen into the deep, dreamless sleep that the drug he'd used promised, Kirk gently lifted McCoy off of him and sliding from the bed, tucked the covers around the slumbering doctor. He had potentially damaged all that he'd built with his earlier patience and gentility. He needed damage control and fast, because no matter how good he was at promises and pretty words, neither of those were going to sway McCoy at this point. Fortunately he knew just who to ask for advice, and both of them should be easy enough to reach since they were on board his ship.

In Pike's cabin his comm link began to buzz signaling an incoming transmission. As Pike reached towards the link, Wynonna sunk her nails into his back. "Ignore it." Pike chuckled deeply at her insistence and returned his hand to far more pleasurable pursuits between her parted thighs. The sounds of her sighs and gasps drowned out the chiming of her own link, and as the two became more involved in each other the outside world became so distant that they lost all concern they had about any call they might be receiving.

As Pike had Wynonna begging for his cock, a sound that he relished even above the death gasp of a Romulan, the two heard a crash in Pike's sitting room. Stealthily the two covered themselves, Pike with his discarded uniform pants, and Wynonna with his bathrobe, which happened to be laying by the bed. Pike grabbed his knife, and Wynonna grabbed a heavy lamp from the bedside table. Together they proceeded to investigate the origin of the noise. Neither of them were quite prepared to see Jim, sitting on Pike's couch with his knees pulled up to his chest, and his head lowered onto them dejectedly.

"Jim, what are you doing here?"

Jim looked up and then seeing their state of undress, raised an eyebrow. "I did try to call first, but neither of you answered. And then I went looking for Mom, but her room was empty. So I came here to talk to you, only to find both of you here. Something you forgot to tell me?"

Pike shrugged. "Nothing you haven't already figured out on your own, which truthfully probably isn't as important as whatever reason had you for looking for the two of us. What's wrong son?"

Kirk sighed and buried his face in his knees. "I fucked up. I've spooked him, frightened him away, and I don't know how to fix it. I mean sure I can tell him that I'm not going to hurt him, but given that's normally the first thing someone says before they stick a knife in your back, he doesn't really have any reason to believe me does he?"

"I get the feeling that there is a story behind this?" At Kirk's miserable nod, Pike sighed. "Don't worry Jim, your mother and I will help you sort this out. Let us get dressed, and we'll be right back ok?" Kirk gave a slight wave with his hand still not looking up, and Pike gestured to Wynonna to follow him. A quick survey of his closet provided a very oversized sweat suit for her, and a pair of low slug draw string pants and Starfleet issued undershirt for him.

As Pike turned towards the door Wynonna stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about this, I know it's not what you had in mind for the evening."

"I've waited months for you, I think I'll survive one more night." He took a moment to survey her curves and smiled. "It'll be hard, but I think I'll make it. But after we get this sorted out, you my dear are mine. And then I'm not letting you out of bed for anything short of Armageddon."

"Promises, promises." This earned her a swat to the rear and a fond smile.

"Come on wench, we have a disaster to fix."

"Oh whatever shall we do?" The innocent tone of voice that she took on set him ablaze and his hot mouth descended on her neck.

"You my dear are a tease, and you will pay for that later." She felt his smile where his lips were pressed to her pulse, and fought back an answering grin.

"I'll hold you to that." Before returning to the sitting room they both put on more neutral facial expressions. After all it would be cruel to flaunt their compatibility while he was going through a rough patch with McCoy. And of course neither of them believed in being cruel to those you loved, your enemies certainly, but not your loved ones. To do otherwise was the mark of a smaller person, insecure in their own worth, and neither of them had any problems in that area.

So wearing wholly sympathetic faces and using gentle persuasion and cajoling, they proceeded to get the whole story out of Jim, who was uncharacteristically honest and open. The two traded a worried look over his head and pondered the situation while trying to console him. Doctor McCoy would have to be brought around, as to have him reject Jim had the makings of a disaster that would be felt around the Empire. As Wynonna gave advice to Jim, Pike determined that he and the good doctor would be having a chat. After all it just wouldn't do to let the Empires best and brightest burn out because his bedmate got cold feet.

AN: This may be the last chapter for a bit, largely because the eastern coast is again getting slammed with very large amounts of snow and power outages are likely. A shout out to THISISSPARTAdealwithit, for noticing that I changed the spelling of Winona's name, the version that I used is the one that I'm more familiar with, and since to my knowledge they didn't spell out her name in the movie was the one that I went with. I'm planning to do an editing/spell checking/cleaning up overview at the end of the story, at which time I'll fix such things. Until then I'll be continuing to spell it Wynonna for continuity. In any case let me know what you think of the tale so far. Everyone stay safe and warm.

Next Chapter: McCoy has a talk with our favorite communications officer, and Gaila.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which McCoy talks to Gaila and Uhura, Kirk talks to Pike, and Wynonna meets Spock.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

When McCoy woke the next morning, he found it strange that he hadn't had the nightmares that he'd expected after watching Raines suffer. There had been no glazed eyes following him into dreams, no screams echoing in his ears. He shrugged. That must have been some drink that Kirk had given him. Kirk was sleeping beside of him with an arm thrown around McCoy's chest and a leg tangled between McCoy's. The strong arm pinning him down wouldn't have been a problem, save for the fact that certain biological functions were beginning to make him very aware of his need to be elsewhere.

When McCoy tried to move Kirk's arm his answer was a tightening around him with Kirk attaching himself even more tightly to McCoy. McCoy gave another attempt to wriggle from Kirk's embrace before scowling and elbowing Kirk in the ribs. "Jim, you need to let me go now."

Kirk's sleepy reply was automatic and chilling. "Never gonna let you go, mine."

McCoy sighed and tried again. "Kirk, I need to hit the head. You need to let me go."

Kirk grunted at that, but his grasp on McCoy lessened enabling him to get free. McCoy made his way to the bath room and took care of his business with a sigh. After tarring as long as he dared he returned to the bedroom, surprised to see Kirk still in bed. The man raised up a little bit, and crooked a finger at him, gazing at him through slanted eyes. "Come back here."

He came over to the edge of the bed and as Kirk lifted the covers for him to crawl back under, he lay on the bed far more focused on what Kirk's close physical proximity meant. Kirk however merely linked his fingers through McCoy's and rested his head where he could hear the beat of McCoy's heart. "Go to sleep McCoy, it's not even dawn yet."

Kirk's breathing evened out and McCoy realized that yes, the man who he'd watched calmly order a man to his death was now curled up at his side quiet and tame as lamb. He reached up experimentally and ran his fingers through Kirk's hair, tensing as the man moved. When his reaction was merely to arch up into the touch and hum appreciatively in his sleep, McCoy paused. Was this what Lady Wynonna had meant, the power that he had. Kirk had seemed very sincere last night when he'd promised not to hurt him, and part of McCoy wondered if it was really possible for Kirk to switch off the madness he'd seen in him on the planet when he was in his quarters with McCoy.

So far he seemed to be genuinely upset that he'd scared McCoy. He seemed intent on making things right so that McCoy would trust him, but his concerns weren't all immediate ones. He had no reason to be scared of Kirk hurting him now, for the moment the man was as his mother would put it wholly smitten. Part of him knew that Kirk had wanted him so much because he made him chase, which few did. Now that he no longer had that aspect of their dance to fall back on, what did he have that would keep the man's interest?

True, he wasn't bad looking, but neither were any of the other dozens of people lined up to warm the man's bed. Granted he was a fabulous doctor, but he wouldn't torture, something that a man in Kirk's position needed done. And sexually speaking the man seemed satisfied, but what was to keep his gaze from wandering once the thrill of his victory had worn away? And if he failed to keep the man interested would he one day see that madness that had chilled his blood directed at him?

He believed that Kirk would keep his word to protect Joanna, but he had nothing to ensure that the man did. It was here that he remembered Lady Wynonna's pointing out that there were some things one could not change. She was right, as she had been reliant on George Kirk to keep her brother from the gallows, and he was reliant on Jim to keep his family from harm. There was nothing stopping him from rescinding his protection once he got what he'd wanted, but then there had been nothing stopping George from doing the same thing. Once Wynonna was his wife, there was nothing holding him to his word. And yet he had kept it anyway. He would have to hope that Jim really was as much like his father as his mother claimed.

"You think too much, you know that McCoy? I can feel you tensing from here." In an instant Kirk shimmied up his body and was cupping his face and pressing his lips to the furrow that had formed in McCoy's forehead at his unpleasant thoughts. "I'm going to take care of you, all you have to do is let me." He stroked McCoy's cheek gently and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You're going to have visitors today."

"Who?" The who the hell wants to see me, and you're actually letting me out of your quarters remained unspoken.

"Gaila is dying to have a chat with you, Orions love gossip, and apparently she wants to tell you all kinds of embarrassing stories about me. And Nyota wants to chat with you. Something about me not understanding how stressful it can be to be both an officer and a consort."

"Consort?" He paused for a moment. Last time he'd checked he was Kirk's fuck toy, with only his word that he'd honor his promises. Consorts had paper work, and legal standing, and protection. Consort was a big deal. "Since when am I your consort?"

"McCoy, you've given me something precious. The least I can do is give you the protection of my name." He stroked McCoy's side gently, and pressed gentle kisses to his jaw. "What you thought that I was going to play with you until I got tired of you and then send you on your merry way?" He stroked McCoy's jaw and looked into his eyes.

"No, I don't think so McCoy. The only reason my mother isn't driving you insane planning a wedding at the moment is that you're not ready for that kind of political maneuvering, so it's safer for you to be a consort. There is less of a reason to attack you. And you're not comfortable enough yet with me for us to make this a forever and ever amen type of deal. I'm like my father in that regard." He took McCoy's left hand in his and let his finger circle the space where his wedding band had once rested. "If I put a ring on this finger I will kill you before I let you leave me."

"But you've already said you'll never let me go? How is that any different?"

Crystal blue eyes met his and he felt Kirk's fingers tighten where they were toying with his hair and caressing his hands. "I said I'd never let you go. And I meant it, you will never take another lover so long as I live. I never said that I'd keep you here unwilling."

"What do you mean?" McCoy looked at him confused as he couldn't see the difference.

"Even as you hate me, even as you fear me, you want me just as much. I have no intention of raping you McCoy. If there comes a point and time that I can't make you want me, I will release you from your duties in my bed."

McCoy's breath hitched, this was more than he'd ever expected. "And what precisely would you do with me then?"

Kirk looked at him and stroked McCoy's cheek with the back of his hand. "This is entirely an academic exercise you realize, but it would depend. You could stay in Starfleet, you'd still be under my protection, so no one would dare touch you. I have vast influence in the civilian sector. I could set you and Joanna up somewhere nice. But marriage, that's different." Kirk's eyes grew darker, and McCoy felt his breath catch at the intensity of Kirk's stare.

"But your father let your mother off the Kelvin?"

"He had planned on following her, and she was pregnant. Besides, he knew no one else would ever take his place, she finally broke down and told him that she loved him. That's when he set the collision course with the Nardia."

"How do you know all this?"

"I analyzed the tapes from the shuttle, he set the course after she told him. And I've got his journal. Have since I joined Starfleet. But the things that are in it, it'd hurt her to know that I knew. So I'll never tell her. Though I think Pike may end up giving her a copy. She's going to need to let go of my father if she's going to be happy with Pike."

McCoy looked at him in shock. "Did you just say? Your mother and Pike? Really?" At Kirk's nod he shuddered, the two of them were dangerous enough in their own right, but together. Together they'd be damn near unstoppable.

"Apparently a fairly recent development." He stroked McCoy's ribs, smiling as the man twitched under his fingers. "Not all in all a bad thing, as it'll give mom something to focus on besides us." He pressed a kiss to the now smooth skin of McCoy's forehead, enjoying the way that his nose wrinkled at the touch, which was he admitted a condescending gesture, which he would have avoided if he hadn't enjoyed McCoy's rebellion so much.

"I told you that I'd give you proof, but that it would take time. I should have some papers for you to sign soon. I should have thought of this sooner, you have no reason to trust me at my word, and based on your past every reason to think that I'm going to betray you. Hopefully what I've got in mind will help with that. But until then, we'd better get dressed, unless you want to give Gaila a show. Which she would enjoy, but I somehow don't peg you for that type of exhibitionist."

McCoy blushed deeply and shook his head, causing Kirk to chuckle. "Alright, shower it is then. Wouldn't do for you to be late."

After a shower in which Kirk's skilled fingers brought McCoy to the point of desperation, only to follow it with satisfaction, and the reapplication of Kirk's marks on his neck McCoy staggered out of the shower on unsteady legs. Kirk's hand at his elbow supported him until he could find his balance, and then it was off to the bedroom to find some clothes in 'his' closet. He stared at the selection before him, as he recognized only a handful of the clothing before him, most of that official Starfleet issue. To his recollection he'd never owned this many clothes in his whole life.

"What did you do buy the entire men's department?"

Kirk shrugged. "Ok so I went a little overboard. It's your own fault for looking so damn good in them that I want to tear them off of you. I factored in a lot of wear and tear, and the fact that a lot of them will end up beyond repair on the floor of our quarters."

"Our quarters?"

"When's the last time you were in your quarters?" Kirk raised his eyebrow and waited for McCoy to answer the question. After a few moment s of silence Kirk looked over at him, and smirked. "I thought so. We'll see about moving you in more completely soon, not that you keep a lot of personal items there any way. Place looked like a tomb the last time I was there."

"Didn't exactly bring a whole lot with me when I joined Starfleet." Kirk nodded remembering how McCoy had worn the cadet's uniforms or his scrubs for the first few months that they were in the academy. It had taken awhile for him to realize it was because when the doctor had gotten on the transport to Starfleet, he had a picture of his little girl, his grandfather's flask, and the clothes on his back. Given the amount of his student stipend that he ended up sending to Joanna, it had taken him months to acquire even the most basic of casual clothes.

It had taken all his restraint not to start throwing money at McCoy then. As was he'd managed to limit himself to getting the doctor really nice things when he patched him up after a bar brawl, or kept him from choking to death as his own body proved a more deadly enemy than any he'd faced at Starfleet. Still, even those gifts had made the proud man prickly. He'd wanted to spoil him then, but knew better than to push it. Now on the other hand, he had cart blanche to make sure that McCoy never wanted for anything again.

"Oh I remember. Consider this the start of the rest of your life McCoy. Anything you want, anything, all you have to do is name it, and it's yours."

McCoy noticed that Kirk had spared no expense in outfitting him either. The clothes in the closet were not only numerous, but also high quality. The boxers McCoy pulled from the drawer were silk. The shirts were all organic fibers, a luxury in a world of replicated goods, and the pants, well they felt better than any inanimate object should against his skin. Kirk watched as the man carefully examined his choices, having never really needed to think on what he was going to wear before this.

The outfit that he put together proved what Kirk had known for a while, that the doctor had fashion sense, he just hadn't had the bank account to support it. The grey pull over clung to his well defined stomach, and the soft khakis cupped his delectable ass before flowing down over his legs. The only problem with McCoy's clothing choices was that he looked so damn good in them that Kirk instantly wanted to take them off. Reminding himself that as much as he wanted to ravish McCoy again, he did still have a ship to run, he allowed himself one last kiss.

McCoy looked damn tempting, his lips parted from the kiss and hair still slightly curled at the ends from the steam in the shower. Now that he was dressed properly, getting enough rest, and eating at regular intervals, he was even more delectable than he was prior to coming into Kirk's care. Kirk only hopes that it will only take a few violent deaths before his crew realizes the doctor is off limits. After all it would be unfortunate to have to kill off too many members of the crew. The paper work for 'the crewman was an idiot and annoyed me, so I killed him' deaths was always so taxing. But as he looked over McCoy's fine form, he acknowledged that it would be worth every pen stroke to protect that which was his.

Just as he was calculating how late another go with McCoy would make him for his shift, and trying to remind himself of how bad an idea that would be with an admiral on board, he heard Gaila's laughter. Ah, well he consoled himself, another time. "I think that's my cue to go. I wouldn't want to spoil your conversation with the ladies." He pressed a soft kiss to McCoy's lips and caressing his cheek one last time, straightened his shoulders to the degree you expected of a starship captain, and walked away.

As he exited he smiled at Gaila, and gave Uhura a small nod. Once the door closed Gaila ran over to McCoy and hugged him excitedly bouncing, practically vibrating with excitement. "Oh Leonard, we're so happy for you. I just know you're going to love being Kirk's consort! Ny and Spock are awesome, but Kirk's no slouch in bed either. And I'm sure he's only gotten better at it since last time I was with him."

Nyota shook her head amused as always at how her horny Orion friend had no shame in admitting just how much she liked sex. She and Spock had been surprised when Kirk had pulled them aside and told them that Gaila required more attention than he could give her as a Captain just learning the ropes, and asked them if they minded helping him with her for a while. But really who turns down the offer of a willing Orion slave girl?

Spock was a very attentive lover, and sometimes she admitted, his stamina outmatched her own. In these situations she was happy for Gaila's presence. As she was when for whatever reason she had an 'illogical' emotional outburst, which despite the fact that he was as he phrased it 'inordinately fond of her' Spock never could seem to understand. Gaila on the other hand merely held her when she needed comfort, and then after she felt better proposed some comfort sex, which to be fair Uhura normally took her up on. She was very grateful that she'd bargained with Spock to keep Gaila off the Farragut.

For the moment however, she wanted to talk with Kirk's new toy. He had certainly been chasing him for a very long time, she was no fool, she'd seen the interest spark in his eyes when he first saw the man in the shuttle. At the time she had been grateful for that, as if he was interested in him he might forget the brutal way she'd rejected him in the bar. Her only excuse had been that she didn't realize who he was, but somehow she'd been certain that he wouldn't find that a good enough reason. Nor did she think that he'd appreciate the insinuation that she'd have slept with him if she'd realized that he was the son of a hero.

Neither of those proved to be a concern as from the moment that Kirk had met McCoy he'd seemed to orbit around the man. Granted her gaffe had been handled, but not in the way that she'd have expected a man like Kirk to address the matter. He'd apologized for not treating her with the respect that a lady of her caliber clearly deserved, and thanked her for being honest enough to tell him that he was being an ass. She hadn't trusted this reaction at first. Instead she'd remained wary around him until she'd discovered that he really meant it, and that he enjoyed her barbs and the way she rolled her eyes at his antics.

She looked at McCoy consideringly, the gentle doctor was obviously having some problems reconciling himself with the actions that Kirk had taken on his behalf. "So McCoy, are you feeling better? We noticed you'd gone rather pale at the execution yesterday?"

McCoy nodded. "Yes, I'm fine now."

"Might I take that to mean that Jim's explained that he's never going to turn that particular brand of intensity on you? And that you believe him?"

He looked at her quizzically. "How did you know?"

"That you were freaking out about it? Because any sane human being would. And I've got some experience with that particular issue. My first words to James T is for torture Kirk were shooting him down when he came onto me in a bar, and telling him that I thought he was a dumb hick who only slept with farm animals. I know about waiting for the wrath."

McCoy winced. "What did he do?"

Uhrua shrugged. "He thought it was funny, and told me that he enjoyed the fact that I was honest with him a lot more than he would have if I'd dropped to my knees because his last name was Kirk. He tried to get my first name out of me the rest of the time that we were in the academy, but never seriously. It was all a joke to him."

At this point Gaila took his hand. "I know you're freaking out, and it's ok. You've had some lousy things happen to you, I can tell. But Jim's real patient when he needs to be. You wouldn't believe how gentle he was with me, and that was with Orion hormones driving him nuts. He'll take good care of you McCoy."

McCoy looked away embarrassed at being so easily read, and at the tone that the conversation was taking. "Am I really that transparent?"

Uhura smirked. "McCoy, I'm a Vulcan's consort. Do you have any idea how good that makes me at reading body language?"

Gaila rolled her eyes and gave him a look that said well duh, you're human and male what did you expect? "And I spent the first 13 years of my life on a planet where I was raised with the knowledge that I was going to be sold to the highest bidder once my hormones kicked in. I understand quite a bit about feeling like you don't have a choice, and how even the kindest master can grate on you when you feel like that's true."

"How do you deal with it?"

"Well personally I suggest lots of orgasms. But since you're with Kirk I'm sure he's got that covered. As for not having a choice, remember that no matter the situation you control how you respond. For example just because you're scared doesn't mean that you always have to show it, though I'd imagine that Kirk is going to pick up on that one anyway, whether you tell him or not. You're lucky, from what I can gather you haven't even gone through one jar of my remedy yet. Do you have any idea how rare that is for a new consort?"

"What do you mean?" Considering what had happened to necessitate the use of Gaila's ointment he'd greatly prefer that not be a frequent issue.

"She means that Kirk's been treating you with kid gloves, because he's crazy about you and doesn't want to scare you off. He kept the worst of what he did to Raines from you, so that you wouldn't be upset. From what any of us can gather he has only struck you as punishment for something you should have know better than to do anyway, and even this your punishment was relatively light compared to what it would have been from another captain. You went over his knee instead of to the booth didn't you? You think that's normal for someone who disobeys the captain?"

McCoy thought about it. At the time he'd only been focused on how miserable the talk that had preceded the punishment had made him, how embarrassing the spanking had been, and how the humiliation had made the relatively minor pain worse. Kirk could have just as easily used his agonizer on him, or even given him time in the booth for what he'd done. Instead he'd applied a punishment that was more psychological than anything. Granted it had hurt to sit for the next few days, but still it was nothing compared to what he would have felt like with proper application of an agonizer or even the minimal time in the booth.

"Now that you mention it, I guess not."

"And really McCoy, I don't know what the son of a bitch floating in the swamp down there did to you, but Kirk damn surely took it personally. The man is smitten, enjoy it McCoy. Thousands of people would kill to be in your place, and Kirk would have none of them. It seems that for the moment at least he only wants you. If you're careful, you can milk this into your retirement. From what I can tell it seems like you've acquired a patron for life."

"What? How can you know that? He could be tired of me in a week."

"I've seen some of the forms he's sending back and forth between here and Starfleet, McCoy. This man means to take care of you. And he's setting up some serious cash to do it. He wants you, and plans on doing right by you, so for the love of god don't fuck it up."

"And how precisely would you suggest avoiding that? It's not like they write instructions on how to please your overbearing slightly maniacal captain. I'm flying blind here."

"What Ny is trying to say is that you've got a chance to be happy. Don't let yourself freak out too much and wreck things. Kirk seems really happy at the moment, so whatever you're doing keep doing. But more than anything, you need to understand that you're with a man who has two personas. The Captain, and Jim. You can push Jim's buttons, and make him mad, and you're not going to be in much trouble. That's the part of him that's patient and gentle, and thought Ny telling him that he was a dumb hick was amusing. The Captain on the other hand-"

"Will flay you for not doing what you're told. But I bet you can already tell the difference between the two can't you."

Without much thought, McCoy nodded. There was a discernable difference in Kirk's personalities. McCoy was starting to warm to Jim, but the Captain still scared him shitless. And he realized that might always be the case. That it might even be healthy considering what he'd seen the Captain do to those who displeased him. And yet Kirk seemed to be promising to leave the Captain outside the door of their quarters and just be 'Jim' when he was with McCoy. Was that even possible?

"Chances are very good doctor, that you're going to be seeing a lot of Jim, and very little of the Captain. He cares for you very deeply, and that will damn near always protect you from his claws. But keep in mind that he does still have them, and if you really feel that you have to push him when they're out, you're probably going to end up bloodied."

Gaila looked at him considering a good way to explain. "What we're saying is that you have a lot more control here than you think you do, because Kirk has feelings for you and you're not just some random fuck. If you use your control wisely you can get him to do pretty much what you want him to, the trick is to never let him know it. Like be entirely agreeable when you're dealing with the Captain, so that you can get through to Jim, who you can pretty much twist around your finger if you let go of some of that stiff necked pride of yours."

Uhura looked at him considering, and saw that understanding was finally beginning to dawn for the man. It was time to drive the point home. "Tell me McCoy, have I ever seemed weak to you?"

McCoy looked at her shocked. "Considering the number of men you've sent bleeding into my med bay. Not hardly."

"Then listen to me, submitting to someone stronger than you, who has the potential to make your life safer or better is not weak. It's intelligent. So please use your god given intelligence and don't fight Kirk every inch of the way."

McCoy realized that there was a lot of sense in that. Now the only challenge that remained was seeing if he could resist the urges he had to do just that. He'd never seen himself as the directing things from behind the scenes before, but that seemed to be exactly what Nyota and Gaila were suggesting. Could he really pull that off? Manipulate someone as skilled as Kirk? He supposed that only time would tell.

AN: Alright long chapter is long. Kirk is pouting though, as it wounds his ego when his readers don't tell him on a fairly consistent basis how wonderful he is. He's delicate that way (not to mention annoyed that Mirror McCoy's new story got more attention than his). So if you enjoyed the tale, speak up before he goes into a funk and decides that he only wants to let certain people to be voyeurs into his sex life ;).

Additional Note on Spelling: I understand that people who inform me in reviews that I've misspelled something are trying to be helpful. And in a way they are. However it's a bit of a sensitive subject for me, as I'm both auditorially and visually dyslexic to the point that the person who tested me questioned how I learned to speak English, let alone write it. Given this I'm doing the best I can. I typically catch misspelling once some time has elapsed and I go back through to do a final edit before considering the story complete.

Beta readers as a rule tend to tick me off, no matter how nice they are. Nothing personal, just my inner Kirk having its sway. So feel free to tell me if I've misspelled something, but please do it in a private message and not a review, especially if that's the only reason that you spoke up in the first place. Thank you. *rant done*

Next Chapter: Pike and Kirk have a conversation about Pike's intentions.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Kirk questions Pike about the purity of his intentions towards Wynonna.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk had made his way to the bridge, and was receiving reports from the various sections of the ship when the ensign who was taking over for Uhura blanched and looked over at him warily. _Honestly, you'd think I was as bad as Pike the way the girl looks at me. I've never actually killed the messenger. Well, ok so there was that one time, but that was entirely unrelated to the news he brought._

"Something you need to tell me Ensign?"

She swallowed, and trying to hide her trembling hands stammered. "Yes sir, Admiral Pike has requested a private meeting with you in his quarters at your earliest convenience."

"Very well, thank you Ensign." Kirk looked back to the stack of pads that Spock had placed in front of him, and after signing in the appropriate places handed them back to the Vulcan with a nod. He rose unconcerned from his seat. "You have the Con Mr. Spock." And then with a lazy wave he walked from the bridge as if it was of no consequence that one of the most dangerous men in the fleet wanted to have an unobserved chat.

Of course he knew what this meeting was about. It had been rather hard to miss his mother coming from Pike's bed chamber, in his bathrobe. It was actually, he thought, rather sweet. That the two of them would find each other at this point in life, Pike ready soon for retirement, and his mother having spent the majority of her youth mourning the loss of a man whom all others felt short in comparison. Not of course that he had any intention of letting either of them know that. At least not right away.

And there was the little matter of making sure that Pike held honorable intentions towards his mother. It would of course be a shame to have to kill the man after he'd done so much for him. That of course didn't mean that he wouldn't. Especially if he found out that a hair on his mother's head had been harmed. Should that ever happen, Christopher Pike would beg to fall on Nero's tender mercies again, rather than face what awaited him at Kirk's hands.

He of course kept his face impassive as he gained entrance to the Admiral's quarters. Pike looked up from his desk, silver rimmed glasses slid low on his nose, and gave Jim the same fond smile that he'd gotten since he figured out what the man wanted from him all those years ago. "Ah, Jim so glad you could make it. Come on in and have a seat."

"I think I'd rather stand. I don't imagine this will take long. What are your intentions towards my mother?"

"Excuse me?" Pike looked at him incredulously, and rose from his chair. He walked over nearer to Jim but not quite to the point of invading his space.

"I said, what are your intentions towards my mother? Do not make me repeat myself again."

"My intentions towards your mother are honorable. Which should be readily apparent if you take your head out of your ass. Now what's really bothering you?"

"You ever hurt her and I'll make you wish I'd left you on the Narada."

"Duely noted, now out with it. What's got you acting like I killed your puppy?"

Kirk gestured between the two of them. "This? This fatherly concern, the talks about what it meant to be a captain, all of it. How much of that was because you were trying to fuck my mother? Or have the two of you been planning this from the start? Tell me Pike, did she promise to fuck you if you made me Captain? Got me to join Starfleet?"

He saw Pike's jaw clench and saw the movement of his arm, and the next thing he knew he was looking up at Pike from the floor. Pike was, Jim mused, still damn quick for a man his age, and despite the needling that he'd been doing he hadn't been expecting the man to backhand him. He glared up at him. "I know you did not just slap me."

"Yes, actually I did. And you damn well deserved it. No one talks about your mother that way, especially not you. Now sit your ass down and we're going to talk about this like reasonable human beings, and if I hear another crass suggestion like the one you just made, I will tan your hide. Do I make myself clear?"

Jim just glowered at him darkly, and kicked the chair that was closest to him. "I said, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir." It was reluctantly grumbled, but Pike figured at that point he'd take what he could get.

"Well then if you're quite finished acting like a spoiled brat, take a seat." Jim rose and sat down across from Pike still glaring. "Now as for your first question, yes my intentions towards your mother are honorable. I've had feelings for her for quite some time, and she has been leading me on a merry chase across half the known galaxy. And I've let her because she is damn well worth it, and deserves the respect of a well executed courtship. Your father is a damn hard act to follow."

Pike noticed that as he said this Kirk's shoulders relaxed slightly. "And as for the more ridiculous part of that conversation that I'm going to forget that we had as soon as you leave this room. No. I have not been paying attention to you because I was trying to get into your mother's bed. You'll understand this yourself, when you meet Joanna."

Pike walked over and sat on the edge of the desk, and tilted Kirk's chin up so he was looking him directly in the eye. "To love someone who has a child, you have to love the child too. And you can't fake it, because first of all kids aren't stupid and figure it out. Second, if the parent is paying the least bit of attention they can tell the difference between someone who loves their child and someone who is playing along trying to get lucky. That's how Frank ended up buried in your back yard, remember?"

Ok, Jim did have to give him credit. Either Pike had better spies than he thought, or he had been close to his mom for a lot longer than he'd realized. Then he could also be working off a theory and trying to get Jim to confirm it. Many people had speculated as to what had happened to Wynonna's second husband. But as it turned out he was a missing person, whom no body missed at all, the police let the issue drop. Besides why bother to prosecute when there were no witnesses? Instead of giving Pike an answer to Frank's fate, he merely looked at him stone faced. "What's your point?"

"My point is that I could be no prouder of you if you were my own son, and I love you. Partly because you're part of the woman that I love, and partly because you're a good kid when you don't have your head up your ass. So can we stop with the insecure adolescent angst bullshit?"

Kirk looked at him for a moment, considering, then shrugged. "Yeah, I think I'm done. Don't know what we're going do about you though?"

"Very funny smart ass. Now if we're done I've got something to discuss with you? Assuming that I'm not keeping you from your duties?"

"Fire away, old man." Kirk smirked and put his feet up on Pike's desk.

Pike shot him a patently unimpressed glare. "Don't push it kid." Kirk chuckled and the two talked about plans for a mutual rival, the easy banter between the two of them resolved.

AN: Hi everyone, hope you enjoyed this slightly insecure version of our favorite Captain. I'm working on the Valentine's tale, which as Mirrored Mistletoe will be set in the future of Kirk/McCoy's relationship. Whatever would the boys give each other for Valentine's Day? Pike and Wynonna? Spock and his ladies? If you've a thought, drop me a line, I'd be interested to see what people think would be 'romantic' in the mirror verse.

Next Chapter: Pike gives McCoy some very pointed examples as to why he should be grateful that it was Kirk's attention he attracted.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Pike reminds McCoy that the grass isn't any greener on the other side, in fact it a sickly brown.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

McCoy sat in his chair nursing a glass of bourbon in his quarters. The chat with Gaila and Uhura had been enlightening, but the plethora of other things that they wanted to talk to him about were mind boggling and left him in need of some quiet reflection. He had just settled in and laid his head back against the chair when the buzzer sounded in the room.

"McCoy, you've got 30 seconds to get decent before I come inside." Pike's measured tone made a shiver run up his spine. He stood and straightened himself out, checking to make sure there was nothing particularly embarrassing about the picture he presented in the time afforded him. The door admitted Pike with a quiet hiss, and McCoy took in one of the most feared men in the fleet. His quick assessment as Pike walked towards him was that the man's rehab had gone far better than anyone would have ever had reason to expect, and that overall he was pleased with the condition of his patient.

"Something you needed Admiral?"

"Just stopped by for a chat McCoy, at ease, and have a seat." McCoy sat, and raised an eyebrow as Pike walked over to the bar, and poured himself a glass of whiskey. It was at that moment the McCoy realized that Kirk had stocked his bar in a peculiar manor. There was a bottle of Kirk's favorite, the Saurian brandy that he had acquired a taste for after becoming Captain. There was a stock of McCoy's favorite bourbon. And lastly there was a bottle of Pike's favorite, a particular Irish whiskey from Earth, which McCoy knew for a fact wasn't something that Kirk preferred. In fact none of Kirk's acquaintances save Pike drank that particular spirit.

Now the replicator of course could produce any number of sprits, but it wasn't the same as the real thing, and so most officers who liked to indulge carried a stock with them. Now given that this was an expensive indulgence, it led McCoy to believe that perhaps there was some truth to those rumors that Pike and Kirk had become very, very close after Pike had recruited him. People had speculated for sometime as to the type of relationship that the two men had, though he did not want speculate himself. Typically those who speculated about James T. Kirk were proven wrong spectacularly. It was typically a painful process.

Pike sat down across from him with a relaxed and comfortable posture and gave him a reassuring smile. "No need to be nervous McCoy. I haven't come to discuss anything particularly unpleasant. I just wanted to give you some information that you might find useful in navigating the situation in which you find yourself in."

"Oh wonderful, more advice."

Pike chuckled. "Not the first one to stop by I take it?"

McCoy shook his head and took a long sip of his bourbon. "Let's see so far I've heard from Wynonna, Uhura, and Gaila. Add you in there and the only one I'm missing is Spock."

"I'm sure that he'd come to call should you so desire. In the meantime I brought you some reading that you might find interesting." At McCoy's raised eyebrow Pike slid a stack of pads over the table. "Complete medical histories of the other companions that Kirk has had over the years, as well as a few from his contemporaries' companions to allow you to make a comparison."

McCoy looked at the first file in the stack, Admiral Archers' pet, and as he read the file his stomach turned. The boy had experienced broken bones, extensive dermal mending, internal bleeding, and joint dislocations, it was no wonder that he flinched at every movement from anyone who looked like an officer. The other three that Pike had brought, two additional Captains and another Admiral, all of their companions showed similar patterns.

He held his breath as he picked up Kirk's prior semi-long term companion's record. Carol Marcus' record was very thin. A number of small injuries occurred, but they were all duty related, a sliced hand, a burn from a chemical spill. She certain didn't appear to have been subjected to the repeated injuries that the others he had examined. And neither did any of the others that Kirk had bedded if Pike's files were any indication.

"And you say that these medical histories are complete Admiral?"

"Yes doctor, with records from both official treatments from Starfleet professionals, as well as information about unofficial treatments that I've discovered in the process of collecting data about these individuals for my own personal use. These files are complete. As such, I'm sure my meaning is clear."

"That I could have attracted the attentions of someone far worse than Kirk?"

"That's part of it. The other seems to be a bit of a concept that you're having difficulty with. For Kirk, as dear as his ship is to him, the torture and torments that come along with running this ship are a job. He tends to leave his work at work, and behaves differently among friends and family than he does with his crew. This isn't really that much different than what you used to do with your work at the hospital. Did you treat Joanna or your wife the same way that you treated your residents?"

"Of course not." McCoy looked offended that Pike would imply that he would use the same harshness with his baby girl that he used with interns.

"Then why can't you seem to process that Kirk will never treat you the same way that he would treat someone like Ethan Raines?" At McCoy's flabbergasted look he continued, locking eyes with McCoy and giving him no quarter for cowardice. "I know you have a hard time trusting people. Given the situation with Ethan, your father, your sister, and your ex-wife, I can understand that. Kirk understands that too. But try to give him a break McCoy. He can only be held accountable for his own actions, not those in the past who've done you wrong. He is not the man that you feared him to be, and by treating him with doubt and suspicion, you're only hurting him."

McCoy flushed. "I hadn't thought about it that way."

Pike gave him a meaningful look. "Another thing or two for you to think about." He took one of the pads from McCoy, entered a few codes and handed it back.

"What's this?"

"A list of ships that requested you upon your graduation, the ones highlighted are those which had a good chance of getting you. Take a look at some of the names. Think any of them would have taken your blatant refusal to torture so easily? Think you'd be happy and sane on any of these?"

McCoy shuddered at the requests for his person, made by some of the most sadistic men in the fleet. "No sir, I can't say that I would."

"I thought not. Do you know what kept you from those ships?"

"The fact that I was dumb enough to bring Kirk on board after the idiot poisoned himself?"

"No, your compassion isn't what put you off limits. They figured they could beat that out of you. It might have had something to do with the fact that Kirk made it well known that were you assigned to any ship but his that the Starfleet would experience further personnel loses."

McCoy resisted the urge to shake. As far back as staff assignment for the ship Kirk had been obsessed enough with him to threaten murder. While it was beneficial, they tended to write operas and stories about such obsessive affections. They never had happy endings. In fact, now that he thought about it, most of the time everyone died in those kinds of stories. "Now one last thing you might wish to think about. Why didn't Kirk take advantage of Regulation 21B459 subsection C?"

"You'll have to refresh me on that one, medical regulations stop at code 18."

"That would be the regulation that states by virtue of being on a Captain's ship you are available for his physical needs, up to and including sex on demand." Pike waited for the doctor's reaction, as he hid his smile with a sip of his whiskey.

"What? What are you talking about?" He looked at Pike as if he had acquired a peculiar type of insanity that McCoy was worried about catching.

"That particular clause in your contract, buried about a hundred and fifty pages in that long code of conduct that recruits are supposed to read before signing their contract. That regulation is what gives the Captain choice of any enlisted man, woman, or creature on his ship. Kirk could have demanded you submit to his advances at any point in time during this voyage, with failure to do so considered grounds for court marshal. But he didn't. Instead he goes out of his way to make you happy. That's something that deserves some consideration don't you think?"

"You could say that." And Pike couldn't help but chuckle at the deer in the headlights expression that McCoy currently wore. At least he'd given Kirk something to work with. It was after all amazing how beneficial a change of perspective could be.

AN: Apologies for the length of time between updates. I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday. The first chapter of the Valentine's side story My Bloody Valentine is up in case ya'll haven't found It yet. As always let me know what you thought.

Next Chapter: Kirk and McCoy have a chat, and try to deal with the fall out of meddling relatives and crew.


	25. Chapter 25

rDisclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk and McCoy have a chat, and try to deal with the fall out of meddling relatives and crew.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk stepped into his quarters and rolled his shoulders with a sigh. After his chat with Pike he'd finished his duties as Captain for the day, and was looking forward to seeing McCoy at the end of his shift. He'd considered swinging by his quarters before returning to the bridge to let McCoy handle the growing bruise across his cheek. However after weighing the consequences for him which were negligible, as everyone on board except Jim and Winona thought that Pike was batshit insane, versus the gain for Pike's reputation which would be substantial, he decided against it.

Never let it be said that he wasn't a team player. If he planned on ruling the Empire, he needed Pike in place a few years longer at least, and so he needed Pike to maintain the aura of worse than hell spawn that he'd spent most of his career accomplishing. Besides the look of absolute rage on his mom's face when she'd seen the bruise had been well worth it. Even though he had no desire to ruin her relationship with Pike, it was reassuring to know that he could do so.

Frank and several other fools along the way had learned that even when they thought that Winona Kirk loved them, she loved her son more. It was their little secret that love was in fact reserved for George Kirk and her son alone. She'd sworn the day the Kelvin exploded, that she'd never love another, and as far as he knew she hadn't. That of course hadn't kept her from acting like a lovesick fool where appropriate. It kept the idiots from predicting the knife in their back quite nicely.

Still he really didn't want Pike dead and replaced with an unknown variable, so he was quick to soothe her when he ran into her on the way to his quarters. She grabbed his chin and turned the purpled flesh towards the light. "Christopher did this?" She asked knowing perfectly well that there was no one else on ship that could get away with marking him in such a fashion.

"I baited him mom, and I damn well deserved it. But you can be sure his feelings for you are genuine." The look of happiness on her face even as she stroked his bruised cheek had made it worth taking the hit. He'd have to rework his plans to make sure that Pike lived. It would after all be a shame for his mother to lose two men that she loved, which Jim could see that she did even if she remained willfully blind.

Still even though she was happy with the news he brought, she whole heartedly disapproved of his method of gathering it. She had stroked his cheek gently and smiled. "Christopher and I will be having a discussion about this Jim, and should he ever lays hands on you again, I think there is still a plot next to Frank. But I suppose this one time, I can forgive him since you tell me that you deserved it. I don't think I want to know what you said to get him to do this, do I?"

"Not really. And he said he wasn't going to tell you. But just in case he changes his mind, I promise I didn't mean a word of it. I was testing him. I'd never believe the things I said about you."

"Ah, the if the man responds to an insult to his lover he must be in love test. I've taught you well son. I promise whatever you said I won't hold it against you. Now go let Leonard heal that for you. If you play it right you might even be able to get him to kiss it and make it better."

He chuckled at his mother's suggestion. "I just might do that mom. It'll be interesting. This is the first time I've had any type of injury since we came to our little arrangement."

Winona arched an elegant eyebrow at that statement. "That should be interesting indeed. I hope you have a very good time with your consort, dear. In the meantime I need to go explain some things to Christopher."

"Far be it from me to stop you, mom, but do try to leave the man in one piece." He smiled at her, a boyish grin that she'd missed as he'd grown to be a hardened man. She had been right, McCoy was very, very good for Jim.

She gave him an exasperated smile and a wink. "Well dear, if I must. I suppose I shall try." He gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she set off towards Pike's rooms. He watched as she walked off and winced, if the aggravated swish of her skirts was any indication he didn't envy Pike this evening. Though he'd admit, if anyone could give his mother a run for her money it would be Christopher Pike.

He continued onto his quarters, hoping that McCoy had not snuck off to Med Bay in his absence. If his conversation with the girls had gone anything like what he imagined then he was sure that McCoy had needed to take some time to process what had gone on. Gaila was a wonderful woman, but she could give a man a headache faster than nearly any woman that he'd ever met. And Uhura, well he respected the hell out of her, but she wasn't exactly known for mollycoddling. Granted her brutal honesty was what he liked about her, but he could imagine that for someone in McCoy's position that she probably came on a little strong.

All these things led him to his door, where he hoped that he would find a mostly functional not terrified or otherwise damaged consort. Scanning his quarters he felt himself relax a bit as he saw McCoy sitting at the table looking over a padd, holding a rocks glass of bourbon. When McCoy heard the door hiss his eyes met Jim's and the instant that he saw the bruise on Kirk's face he was on his feet and headed towards him.

"What the hell happened?" Gentle hands tilted his chin towards the light, and probed the injury.

"Had a conversation with Pike."

"Pike did this?" McCoy looked at him incredulous.

"To be fair, I did push his buttons. I needed to know for sure what his plans were for my mother. Now I do."

"And there was no way to find out that didn't involve him hitting you?" McCoy's voice took on the exasperated tone that he typically displayed in Med Bay when he considered the cause of the crewman's injury to be their own foolishness or carelessness. Though when he thought about it Kirk was willing to concede that one could consider baiting an Admiral, particularly one with the reputation of Pike as being foolhardy.

"It was the most effective. Besides I've had worse and you know it." In truth Kirk was rather amused that people seemed more concerned with a bruised cheek than some of the more life threatening issues that he returned from away missions with. He supposed it was a discomfort thing, he was the biggest fish in this particular pond, and his crew wasn't used to seeing one of their own place a mark on him. Crazy aliens beating him bloody, sure that wasn't unusual, but a member of Starfleet that was discomforting. It called into question their own vulnerability, and people always hated facing that.

"That is not the point." The gruff growl was almost affectionate, and Kirk smiled.

"Careful McCoy, you're starting to sound like you actually care."

McCoy actually rolled his eyes at that statement. "Now why would I care that you let someone use you as a punching bag. And don't even expect me to believe that you didn't let Pike hit you. The man's recovery was good, but it wasn't that good."

McCoy went over to the bags that had been delivered while he'd been talking with Gaila and Uhura. He quickly lay hands on a dermal mender, and gestured for Kirk to sit. Kirk allowed himself to relax as McCoy concentrated on his injury. Thanks to the joys of modern medicine the bruise was healed in a matter of moments. And Kirk had to admit that the opportunity to watch McCoy while he was so focused was totally worth what was, in comparison to what he normally walked away from a fight with, essentially a love tap.

He closed his eyes as McCoy stroked the newly healed skin, testing for any residual tenderness with gentle pressure, and gasped as the other hand came to up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck while objectively holding him still. "Might I gather that your talk with Gaila and Uhura went well?" On one hand he was glad that McCoy felt safe enough to touch him of his own volition, on the other he wondered if it had been a good idea to let his ex talk to McCoy and spill all his secrets. Like for instance that having his hair played with pretty much guaranteed a good mood.

"They gave me a lot to think about." Kirk resisted the urge to pull McCoy back as he rose and put the dermal mender away. Instead he took in the large stack of pads in front of McCoy's chair.

"What's all this?"

McCoy shrugged as he returned to his seat. "Pike brought me a little bit of light reading."

"Oh, really? Now what exactly does Pike consider light reading?"

McCoy swirled the bourbon in his glass, watching the ice cubes dance instead of meeting Kirk's eyes. "He wanted to give me something to think about. Some of it was things that I already knew mostly, like the fact that the majority of your contemporaries are sadistic bastards." He gestured at the pile of padds. "Those are the complete medical records of several captains' and admirals' pets."

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "And what precisely did he expect that to teach you?"

"The first part wasn't a surprise. He might not have realized it, but I am entirely versed in how cruel these particular individuals could be. Who do you think got to clean up their messes when they were visiting the academy?"

Kirk's lips pursed, he thought a moment and then frowned. "They'd have wanted the best, and even when we were cadets that was you, wasn't it?" In a way he was disappointed in himself for not having realized this before, as it would have explained why McCoy was so cautious around him despite the fact that he'd never actually done anything to him.

"Every single time."

"So if that part of Pike's lesson wasn't a surprise, then what was?"

"Well the dossiers on your old flames were interesting, but didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know. Though the reminder was nice, but they indicate that you either really do leave the bastard at the door when you come home, or that you're damn good at healing things yourself so as to stay under the radar. Given what I know about your first aid skills, I'm guessing that it's the earlier one."

"I'd already told you that, I wouldn't have expected that to be a surprise."

"Like I said, confirmation of what I already should have known. Forgive me for needing proof as it's my ass on the line if I'm wrong. The surprising bit was the level of finagling that you apparently engaged in to see to it that I was your CMO."

Kirk smirked. "What can I say, I'm a picky bastard. I damn well intended for my ship to have the best."

McCoy wasn't about to let him off the hook that easily. There were personal motives involved here, and he wanted Kirk to at least acknowledge them, even if he wouldn't explain them. "There are other doctors in Starfleet as good as I am."

Kirk shook his head. "No Bones, there really aren't. And besides, I wanted you as more than just a doctor, and you damn well know it." Kirk allowed his gaze to fill with the lust that always simmered just below the surface when he was with the good doctor. He was rewarded as Bones' cheeks began to heat under his stare.

"And he mentioned something about a Regulation 21B459 subsection C, said you could explain it to me. I'm pretty good on the medical codes, but that falls in the Captain's section doesn't it?"

"That would be the code that allows me to take whatever liberties I want, with any member of my crew, with no reprisal from Starfleet. It essentially states that your ass, along with everyone else's on this ship belong to me if I should so choose."

"Yet you've never used it. Even when I had to be frustrating the hell out of you, as you aren't typically renowned for your patience?"

Kirk frowned and shot McCoy a dark look. "If I have to use the threat of court marshal to get someone in my bed, then I don't deserve to have them there. That particular regulation is a coward's way of abusing one's power. And to my way of thinking if you make it to Captain, you ought to have something more appealing to offer a prospective bedmate than if you don't I'll court marshal you."

"There's one thing that doesn't make sense though, despite all the people I've talked with today, and everything that I know about you."

"And that would be?"

"Why go to all this trouble for me? I'm a sharp tongued, foul tempered bastard, who's brought you more problems to deal with than benefits. I'm not exactly Don Juan, I have no fucking clue how to please you in bed, except for the information that I got today from your ex. And I don't improve your family fortune or your connections. So what gives? You could have any one you wanted on at least a dozen different planets. Why put yourself through all this bother, set this up for years, just for me?"

Kirk sighed. "You know I find myself annoyed at the fact that the people who made you doubt your worth are dead. It does me the disservice of not being able to throttle them." Kirk rose and went over to stand beside McCoy, stroking his cheek with the back of his fingers. This doubt of his own self worth explained a good deal of the mistrust of that McCoy had for him. If he didn't believe himself valuable, then why would he believe that Kirk found him precious, and therefore immune to the more unpleasant ways that the Captain had of dealing with those who displeased him. Kirk added this particular bit of information to the long list of things that he knew about Leonard H. McCoy, and made a note to keep an eye out for this particular insecurity, as it was likely to be deep seeded and not easily dispersed.

He pressed a gentle kiss to McCoy's lips and cupped his cheek, not allowing McCoy to avoid his eyes. "You're worth both the effort I put into wooing you, and the time it took to catch you because of the very things that you mentioned. I like your vitriol, and your temper. I like teaching you about sex, if for no other reason than you blossom under my instruction so very well. And as for connections or wealth, the only people around that could improve either of those are such insufferable bastards that I'd kill them in a week, and blood is a bitch to get out of bed sheets."

"Captains don't wash their own bed sheets anyway." This got a ghost of a smile from McCoy, and Kirk returned it.

"No they don't." He stroked McCoy's jaw and let his hand drift into his hair, while sending him a smile. "I think we ought to take advantage of that particular fact." He pulled McCoy to his feet, and led him into the bed room. He planned on showing McCoy just how special Kirk found him. A half or dozen orgasms or so should do the job nicely.

AN: Hey ya'll sorry for the length of time between updates, Kirk needed a break after Valentine's Day. Apparently pink candy hearts and sappy poetry are his Kryptonite. Let me know what you think of this chapter, and as always thank you for reading.

Next Chapter: Kirk lays down some ground rules.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk lays down some ground rules.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Much to McCoy's surprise they were both still clothed when they ended up in bed. Instead of stripping him right away as he'd expected Kirk had merely toed off his boots, and pulled an equally shoeless McCoy onto the bed. Kirk pulled McCoy close and stroked his back, and began placing whisper soft kisses starting behind his ear and trailing down his jaw. He alternated soft kisses with playful nips down McCoy's neck, and slid his hands under the hem of the sweater that he still believed would look far better on the floor by his bed, because that of course meant McCoy was naked in his bed.

"What are you doing?" McCoy asked obviously confused. It wasn't that Kirk didn't normally allow sufficient time for foreplay, hell he normally made McCoy practically beg for it before he fucked him. But it didn't normally take this long to get naked at the very least. And Kirk seemed perfectly content just to lie there holding McCoy and tracing patterns on his skin. There was no sense of urgency, no rising pressure, just a slow methodical touch winding its way around his torso.

"I'm exploring. You see, I get the impression that you got a cheat sheet of all my hotspots in the form of a pretty Orion girl. As I don't have the luxury of a similar source for you, I'm going to have to take a more hands on approach." He inched the sweater up inch by inch caressing and touching as he went. "And rest assured McCoy, I intend on learning every inch of you before this is over. I'm going to know what spots make you gasp, what makes you groan. I'm going to know where you need a firm hand, or a light touch."

McCoy gasped as Kirk's fingers grazed his nipples, and still the shirt edged further. "And do you know why I want to learn all of those things McCoy? Why I'm planning to spend hours exploring every part of you?"

"Why?" McCoy gasped, breathless from both the stimulation and the intensity of Kirk's stare. The sweater was over his head now, and Kirk was slowly easing it up his arms.

"Because sweetheart, despite what everyone else seems to have told you, you are worthy of good things. And I intend to give them to you, because you deserve them." He took each of McCoy's hands in his and placed a soft kiss in the center of his palms and then drew them directly into McCoy's line of sight. "These hands McCoy, these belong to the best doctor in the fleet. There is none to equal you. Everyone else knows it, and you will come to accept this. It is alright to have pride in yourself, and your talents. I am proud of the work that you do, and you honor me as a member of this crew."

Kirk brought his hand to rest over McCoy's heart. "This, this is the heart of the kindest man that I have ever met. The only man I've ever known to feel compassion for his enemy, even as that enemy was trying to attack him. I know that you have been betrayed. I know that those who should have loved you, who should have cared for you, have hurt you. You don't have to trust me, not yet. I will earn that in time. But until then know that while I will never share it, I respect you for the courage it takes to retain your gentleness in a world that has been nothing but cruel to you."

He cupped McCoy's cheek and pressed a tender kiss to his lips, enjoying the hitch in McCoy's breath at the contact. He allowed himself a moment to enjoy the taste and feel of his consort before retreating to meet McCoy's eyes once more. "I will tell you this as often as it takes for you to believe it. When you doubt yourself, come to me. I will gladly remind you that I am a selfish bastard who would accept no less than perfection in his consort, or a high ranking member of his crew."

With this statement Kirk began to kiss and caress the exposed areas of McCoy's body, cataloging his reactions to different touches and locations. All the while he kept up a running commentary, telling McCoy how attractive he was, how much Kirk enjoyed touching him, how glorious that little gasping sound he made as he was coming was. Finally overwhelmed by the onslaught McCoy closed his eyes and allowed the feelings to wash over him. No one who knew of the fearsome Captain Kirk would have ever believed that his lover was brought to tears not by pain, but by praise. And yet, as McCoy accepted Kirk's ministrations, tears streamed down his face.

Kirk gently brushed away the tears and put kisses in their place. The look on McCoy's face was precious to Kirk, and he stored it away in his memory. He held onto this moment tightly, because he knew that it was a ray of light in sea of shadows. There would be more troubles to face, he would fuck up, McCoy would freak out, and the universe would throw obstacles at them. For the moment, however, Kirk had all that he needed right here.

After sometime Kirk pulled away from McCoy and removed his own clothes, before returning to McCoy and sliding his pants and boxers off of him. He sat with his back pressed against the headboard and gave McCoy's shoulder a squeeze, then pulled him over so that he was straddling Kirk's lap. He put a finger to McCoy's lips silencing him as he was going to question the purpose of these events and fished out a bottle of lubricant from the bedside table. Slick fingers began to tease McCoy's entrance, and within a few strokes McCoy was rocking back against the touch.

"We're going to do things a little differently tonight, McCoy. You get to drive." Kirk slathered his cock with lubricant and stroked it a few times then used one hand to hold it steady, while lowering his other hand to McCoy's hip. "You get to control how far and how fast." McCoy looked a little uncertain at this, after all this was the first time that Kirk had actually offered him any degree of control in their sex life. The hand on McCoy's hip traced reassuring circles. "It's alright. You'll enjoy this, I promise. Now take a deep breath and relax."

McCoy felt the tip of Kirk's length pressing against his entrance and Kirk words washed over him. He understood that he was being given another gift, a much more subtle one than the last, but a gift none the less. For the first time since bringing McCoy into his bed, Kirk wasn't constraining him, neither the padded cuffs that the man seemed so fond of nor the physicality that he was so able wield so effectively were at play here. McCoy took a deep breath and let himself begin to sink down onto Kirk's cock. It felt different from this angle, and didn't enter him nearly as easily as it did when Kirk was in control of their encounters, and in many ways reminded McCoy of trying to insert the toy that Kirk had left him with to prepare him before his first time.

Sensing that McCoy was getting frustrated, Kirk reached up and caressed his cheek. "McCoy, you can do this, stop over thinking it. Just relax." He gave him a few moments to comply with that order, and then when he felt that McCoy had calmed down enough brought his hand around to the small of McCoy's back. "Now bring your hips down, and bear down like you're trying to push me out." McCoy complied, and with the combination of the instructions Kirk began to slide inside of him far more easily. He repeated this process until the head of Kirk's cock was inside of him, pulsing from Kirk's reaction of watching McCoy take him in.

"Now, the hard parts over, you can let gravity do the rest." And sure enough McCoy felt himself start to slide down onto Kirk's cock. Once Kirk's hand was no longer needed to keep his dick stable he reached up to McCoy's cock. After a moment to adjust to the feel of Kirk inside of him at a vastly different angle than he was used to McCoy began to shift, drawing a gasp from Kirk. "That's right sweetheart. You're doing great, feels good doesn't it?"

"Uh huh." McCoy bit his lip at the dual sensations of Kirk's cock up his ass, and his hand on his dick.

"Grab the headboard." McCoy's hands came up to clench around the old-fashioned headboard. "That'll give you better leverage. Now, you're going to fuck yourself on my cock, take what you need to make yourself come. Alright?"

McCoy nodded, and after a few halting attempts found a rhythm and tempo that suited him. Kirk, always vocal he'd discovered, provided an ongoing soundtrack of gasps, pants, and hitched breathing that made McCoy's cock harden even more than the occasional brush against his prostate which was made more difficult at this angle. He closed his eyes to savor the sensations, and in that moment, he thought he understood what Winona and Gaila had meant.

He may not have money or power of his own. But by virtue of the fact that Kirk found pleasure in him, in spilling his seed within him, and in wresting similar experiences from McCoy, he didn't need either of those things. He just needed to readjust to what he conceived of as power. He began to twist his hips as he went up and down and increased his speed, enjoying the twist and flex of Kirk's cock within him and the growing tension between the two of them as Kirk panted and groaned, and his own gasps filled the air in the rapidly heating cabin.

One hand left the headboard, and began to play in Kirk's hair as Gaila had told him that Kirk liked, and he was rewarded with a tightening of the fingers that grabbed his hips as well as a twitch of the cock inside him. He leaned down to suck and nibble the tightly corded neck muscles, and was rewarded with a heated groan. He began to bounce more rapidly on Kirk's cock, panting as he grew closer to his own satisfaction, and Kirk's gasps and groans of encouragement made him tremble.

The expert hands working his dick and the pleasurable feeling of his ass being filled by a warm and responsive cock that was somehow hitting just the right spots at just the right moments, did him in and he came with a shout over the Captain's hand and chest. The tightening of McCoy's channel around him as he came made Kirk tense and McCoy felt the heat of Kirk's come within him as Kirk reached his satisfaction.

He sat still impaled on Kirk's softening cock as he tried to catch his breath, and come down from the intensity of the experience. He trembled lightly and Kirk chuckled good naturedly as he stroked McCoy's cheek. "I always knew you'd be fucking fantastic." He leaned up and pulled McCoy's head down for a kiss. "That was perfect."

McCoy didn't have the energy to do much more than lean his forehead against Kirk's, and enjoy the feeling of Kirk's hands as they stroked his shoulders. Kirk kissed him again, and he felt the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile as they pressed against each other. Then suddenly he was being rolled onto his back, with Kirk still inside him. "Shortest fucking refractory period in the universe, I swear." McCoy panted.

Kirk gave him a satisfied smirk, and then he pulled one of McCoy's legs up to rest on his shoulder, changing the angle of his thrust allowing him to hit McCoy's sweet spot with each thrust. "Comes in handy doesn't it?" McCoy gasped as a particularly strong thrust robbed him of his speech, and miraculously his dick began to harden again. Kirk's hand reached down and grabbed his cock and started fisting it in time to his thrusts, causing McCoy's breath to catch in this throat. "I thought you might like that." Kirk continued a steady pace, driving both of them towards a second climax quickly. Kirk grinned as McCoy's hands clutched at his back.

"That's right Bones, enjoy it. Come for me." McCoy tensed and gasped as Kirk continued expertly manipulating his cock and pounding his ass. "That's it, come for me McCoy, right fucking now." McCoy tensed and experienced his second release in the span of an hour, something that he never would have believed himself capable of until Kirk had pushed him to it.

As McCoy spammed around Kirk he found his own release, and collapsed onto McCoy panting. He was still only a moment before releasing McCoy's leg lowering it to the bed, pulling out of McCoy, and rolling to the side. The two men lay panting, and Kirk left his arm splayed across McCoy's chest, enjoying the way the man's heart hammered even into the afterglow. He met McCoy's eyes and gave him a contented grin. "See McCoy," He panted. "I told you that I planned to give you good things."

He sighed deeply and pushed himself up from the bed, then extended his hand to McCoy. "Come on, let's grab a shower, and then we'll see if we can't find something for dinner." McCoy grabbed his hand and the two made their way to the shower. Kirk was laughing and smiling as he pushed McCoy underneath the warm spray. As always during their shower Kirk's lips and hands tended to wander, not that McCoy was complaining. In short order the two of them were clean and McCoy allowed himself for the first time to ponder on the gentleness and the look of appreciation in Kirk's eyes as he toweled him dry.

They sat down to dinner wrapped in warm robes, and McCoy's level of interest and participation in their dinner conversation had improved considerably, much to Kirk's satisfaction. With less effort than he would have expected, he managed to pull a laugh from the historically grumpy man, and even got the beginnings of a smile. He allowed himself to feel a sense of satisfaction in that, and promised himself that he'd be hearing more of the sound in the near future.

After their plates had been cleared away, and they were settled with their beverages of choice, Kirk looked over at McCoy and raised an eyebrow. "We need to discuss a few things McCoy." Kirk noticed that as he said these words the lines of tension that had relaxed from McCoy's face immediately returned. He held up a hand reassuringly. "Easy there, I didn't say it was anything bad."

"Historically 'we need to discuss a few things' translates to and now it's time to talk about the things that you've fucked up." McCoy wouldn't meet his eyes and looked down sullenly.

Kirk reached over, and jerked McCoy's head up to force him to meet his eyes. "Now hang on a damn minute. One, I am not your bitch of an ex-wife. Two, when I think you've fucked up, I assure you, you will have no question that I think you've fucked up. Have I ever kept my displeasure with any member of this crew including you a secret?" McCoy thought about that and realized that actually, when Kirk was displeased with someone, that person typically found out about his displeasure in a much more strongly worded statement than 'we have some things to discuss'.

Seeing that Kirk was waiting for an answer from him, McCoy shook his head, and resisted the urge to sag with relief when Kirk released his chin and continued speaking. "You haven't fucked anything up, and when things go wrong, which so far as I'm concerned they haven't at this point, it isn't automatically your fault. Now we're going to talk about some things. Is that ok with you?"

"Yes." The tone wasn't as willing as Kirk would have liked, but he let it slide in favor of not further impacting the pleasant mood that they'd been experiencing this evening up to this point.

"I told you that once things settled down some we'd set some ground rules. We're going to start off easy I promise. Alright?" McCoy nodded, but the set of his jaw still indicated that he very much was not pleased with this course of events. "The first one is simple enough. And to be clear I don't anticipate any trouble about this one, but I can't hold you accountable for something that I haven't told you."

"You're mine. That means that no one else touches you." The blue eyes went arctic and he enunciated each word very carefully. "I am serious about this. Should you for any reason while we have this arrangement decide to take another lover, when I find out about it I will make you watch while I kill them very, very slowly. And then we will address my displeasure with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." McCoy shuddered to think what the punishment would be for cuckolding a man like Kirk.

"This does not change the fact that I've told you that I won't hurt you. I won't. But I can make you very, very unhappy without ever putting a mark on you. So long as you don't betray me you will never need to worry about that. And I don't think that you're going to do that. But I owed it to you to give you the courtesy of a warning. Do you understand?"

"Perfectly." McCoy resisted the urge to bristle at the fact that Kirk was giving him consequences for something that he would never do, but then realized the logic that Kirk was applying and the fact that it was a good thing that Kirk wanted to iron out these details now. That he said he wouldn't punish McCoy for breaking a rule without warning of the rule before hand was promising. It was, at the very least an indication that Kirk was reasonable.

"Good. The only other thing that we're adding at the moment, I don't think will be an issue, but we'll have to see. You don't come without my permission. Now, I'm not thinking that's going to be too hard a rule for you to follow. As you might have noticed, I'm not exactly stingy in that department. I plan on giving you all that you can handle pleasure wise, but should you need more, you are to come to me, instead of handling matters yourself. Do you understand?"

"Yes." McCoy resisted the urge to roll his eyes at this one. Really, Kirk had been with him pretty much every moment that he'd been off duty for the past week, when precisely did the man think that he'd have time to jack off? Or hell, even the desire to? He was in damn good shape for a man his age, but he was a grown man, not an oversexed teenager. Kirk was pushing him pretty much to his limits without pharmaceutical interventions.

"Alright, that brings us up to three rules total. I think that's a good number to start with. Now, so there is absolutely no possibility for confusion. What are they?"

"I'm not to do anything that could be considered endangering myself unless absolutely necessary to fulfill my duties, I'm to be faithful, and I'm not to come without your permission."

"Very good, now I think you understand why that first rule benefits you?" McCoy nodded, it was logical that not harming himself was a smart thing to do. "Ok, then I'll explain why the other two aren't just me being a controlling dick. You aren't going to have anyone else in your bed, because I am a jealous bastard who will kill anyone who touches you. The bright side of that however, is that the admirals and higher ups all know this. At no point will you be expected to perform as others are at Starfleet functions, nor will you ever be expected to service anyone but me."

McCoy could definitely see the positives in that. The vulgar and cruel displays that some patrons put their dependants through at the Starfleet functions were appalling, and he was relieved that Kirk would not be expecting him to serve him in that way. And it was a relief that Kirk wouldn't allow the higher ups to demand his services. After all if he'd meant to be a whore he could have done so long before now.

"As for the last one, if I'm not keeping you satisfied, or if I'm not giving you enough attention I need to know. I don't intend to share my bed with others while I'm with you, and sex really isn't any fun for me unless you're enjoying it. So I don't want you worn out when it's time to play."

McCoy's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Did-Did you just say that you didn't intend to share your bed with others?"

"I am capable of monogamy McCoy, I've just never had a good reason for it before. Now, why on earth would I want to sleep with some air headed bimbo that I pick up on shore leave, or a member of my crew looking to advance though the ranks based on something besides their own skills, when I'm going to have you waiting for me when I get home? If I didn't think that we could satisfy each other I wouldn't have made you my consort. Of course if you'd rather I fuck around and leave you with blue balls until you're willing to beg me to fuck you, I could arrange that?"

"That won't be necessary." McCoy growled.

Kirk smiled and took a sip of his brandy. "I was hoping that you were going to say that." He sat his glass down on the table with a clink. "Come on, we should get to bed. You need your rest, can't have the best doctor in the fleet sleep deprived."

"Best doctor in the fleet? Can't say I've met him."

"Come on, I've stroked your ego and everything else enough for one evening. Now to bed, I've already kept you up longer than I should have. I'll have Scotty fasten one of those obnoxious signs that flashes self affirmations put over the bathroom mirror tomorrow morning if need be."

"Oh no, the horrors of pop-psychology, anything but that." Kirk noted with pleasure that some of the doctor's customary bite had returned and he smiled and the two of them shed their robes and lay down for bed. He wrapped an arm around McCoy, and pulled him close.

"I could be persuaded to save you."

"Ah, but I have nothing to give you."

Kirk grinned and tapped a finger to his lips. "I'm sure you could think of something. You're very creative after all." Kirk allowed himself to smile as McCoy looked like he was pondering. He leaned over a place a very chaste kiss on Kirk's lips, then pulled away. "That'll do nicely. Alright, no pop-psychology bullshit, I promise. Now get some sleep."

Kirk smiled as McCoy drifted off to sleep, he'd been worried for a moment there when he'd responded so negatively to the beginning of their talk. But things seemed to be coming back on track quite nicely. McCoy had even touched him several times without direction or orders to do so. This was definitely progress. Granted the kiss was chaste, but still it was freely given. The touches were still tentative, but they were willing. He could work with that.

He looked over to the slumbering man by his side. He'd learned a lot of things tonight, starting with the lack of understanding of his own worth that McCoy brought into this. It had never occurred to him that the reason McCoy might be frightened was that he didn't believe he was deserving of something more than abuse. In a way though, this lack could be a benefit for Kirk. McCoy's trust would be hard to earn, that was true. But once he did, the man's loyalty would be absolute. And really what more could a man ask for?

AN: So Kirk once again high jacks the chapter. He felt like McCoy needed a little bit of TLC after the things that came out last chapter. So instead of just the rules being laid down he decided that there needed to be some cuddling and comfort sex before the talk. As always thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought.

P.S. I'm high on cold meds at the moment. I proof read for typos, but probably missed some. If so PM me. Also when I'm more coherent if this chapter sucks, I'll rewrite it. At the moment it looks pretty good though.

Next Chapter: Does trouble in Med Bay lead to trouble in paradise?


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Do problems in Med Bay equal disaster between Kirk and McCoy?

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

It was, McCoy thought, good to be back in Med Bay, even if it was looking like a fairly injury free day so far, which would make for a long shift. Today was his first day back to work after Kirk had determined that he had far, far too many hours logged for this point in their journey, and that he needed time off to deal with the 'emotional fall out of the whole crazy bastard who made your childhood hell coming back and trying to get back at you through your daughter thing'. Though he had to admit that Kirk had a point, once he'd looked at the duty rosters more closely he'd noticed that he'd already logged the number of hours expected of him throughout their entire five year journey, and they were only three years in.

It would be interesting to see how the rest of medical reacted to his standing order, given this morning, along with a briefing of all medical crew that should the new procedures outlined for Med Bay be ignored that visits with Chekov would be the result. The briefing had been delivered personally by the Captain, while his pet sociopath stood off to the side playing with his knives and licking his lips as he stared down various members of medical. Said members of medical spent the majority of the briefing avoiding Chekov's eyes, and trying not to stare at the rather spectacular hickey that Kirk had left on McCoy's neck this morning before they left their quarters.

After Kirk and Chekov left he spent the morning familiarizing himself with what had happened in his absence and looking over the next round of inoculations and physicals that the crew needed before the next away mission. Fairly early in the process Spock decided to grace Med Bay with his presence, drawing an undignified yelp from McCoy as he snuck up on him with the stealth that Vulcans were famous for. Along with the threat to tie a bell around his neck if he kept sneaking up on him, he handed him Gaila's pheromone suppressants.

"Something else you needed Commander?" McCoy asked dryly when Spock gave no indication of leaving. Instead of answering Spock merely stared at him assessing him with the inscrutable gaze that made the majority of the human crew wary of him. McCoy knew, however, that the worst thing that you could let someone like Spock know about you was that they had the capability to make you uncomfortable. So he returned the blank look for a moment, before gesturing at the stack of padds on his desk and growling. "I am a busy man Commander. If there is nothing else, I'll be getting back to my work."

McCoy was surprised when Spock raised an eyebrow. "It appears that your recent contact with the Captain has been beneficial for you Doctor. It is wise of you to cease your illogical resistance of a very beneficial association."

"That's a mighty cold way to phrase it." McCoy had never managed to get used to the disregard for emotional motivations that the Vulcans he knew were so casual about. He understood that they didn't allow themselves to express emotions, but surely that didn't mean that they couldn't understand how they could and did motivate other beings.

Spock's only response was to finger the newly grown soul patch on his chin. An experiment begun, McCoy had noticed, when Uhura's eyes lingered over a man who had one. "What would you expect doctor, Vulcans are known to be unfailingly logical are they not?"

"Don't remind me you green blooded hobgoblin. Now if you're quite finished commenting on my love life?" McCoy's glare seemed to do little to affect the Vulcan, but while he and McCoy had never gotten along, he'd never felt truly threatened by him.

"I thought you might also find it interesting that your association has had a salutary effect on the Captain's mood. The number of crewmen who have been assigned to the agony booth as a punitive measure has been reduced by 23.342 percent."

"Which is a fancy way of saying that he's in a better mood since he's started getting laid more regularly, right?" Though Spock hadn't come up and said it, he was the first of the crew aside from Gaila and Uhura to mention it, and they somehow had been less offensive in mentioning what they correctly perceived to be a sensitive topic. Of course at that point he was just grateful for someone to talk to, so maybe that was the difference.

Spock looked at him nonplussed by his outburst, and raised an eyebrow. "I would not imply something so crass Doctor. I merely noted the change, and it is reasonable that someone as invested as you are in the crew's wellbeing would find this information gratifying. It would be most logical that your association with the Captain continue, both for the benefits apparent to the Captain and yourself, as well as the further benefits experienced by the crew."

"Careful Spock, it almost sounds like you're giving me your blessing."

Spock quirked an eyebrow, and bowed slightly. "Indeed, doctor. I find your relationship with the Captain most satisfactory. It appears that humans are more likely to survive from severe mental and physical distress when they are in a satisfying relationship. And it is beneficial to me to keep the Captain hale and hearty as I find it less than optimal to succeed him. Thus, I find your relationship satisfactory."

"Thank you so much for your glowing well wishes Spock. Now get out of my Med Bay, and get those pheromone blockers to Gaila before you have to fight half the damn ship off of her. No matter how bad ass you are there is a limit to what fear will do when faced with Orion pheromones. I don't think you're particularly interested in testing that are you?"

Spock nodded. "You make an excellent point doctor, good day."

While McCoy was cursing under his breath about green blooded pointed eared hobgoblins, he had another visitor, a young lieutenant who wanted of all things a copy of his girlfriend's medical records. As if McCoy was going to release those without consent. The young man looked like he was going to take a swing at the doctor. However, remembering either the fact that McCoy had access to very, very deadly poisons or that the Captain had claimed him, and therefore taking a swing at the doctor would be like swinging at the Captain which never ended well for those who tried, he attempted wheedling, begging, and bribery instead. "Please, Doctor McCoy, I swear, I don't want this information to do her any harm."

At this McCoy raised an eyebrow. "Then why pray tell do you need access to information that this young lady won't volunteer to you?"

The young man blushed, and stammered before finally spitting out in a rush. "We've started a relationship, sir. A relationship very similar to yours with the Captain from what I can tell. I'm trying to take care of her, and give her what she needs. But something bad happened to her sir, and she won't or can't tell me what it is. I've been patient, I've tried everything that I can think of, but I need to know what happened to her, sir. Otherwise I'm flying blind, and the last thing I want to do is make whatever it is worse."

McCoy looked at him not quite sure what to think. He looked into the boy's eyes and saw no signs of artifice there, but still he could not do as he asked, no matter how pure his intentions were. He sighed and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, giving him what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. "Son, if you're being honest with me, you've got good intentions. And I wish you the best. But I can't tell you what's in those records without her permission. So you're going to have to ask her. Unless she asks me to release them to you, then I can't and won't do so."

"But Doctor!"

"No, buts son. I can't do what you're asking me to do. I'm sorry, but the answer is no." The boy turned on heel and shoved his way through Med Bay's doors, stopping only briefly to salute his Captain on the way out. Kirk looked after the frustrated young man, and gave a low whistle.

"Your talent for alienating people must truly be amazing Doctor, I haven't seen Lt. Anders that angry since he joined the crew. I'm going to have to start inviting you to the advanced combat class, I've been trying to get a reaction like that out of him for weeks. What'd you do?"

McCoy walked over and straightened the tray of instruments that the boy had bumped on his way out. "I told him that I wouldn't release his girlfriend's medical records without consent. Apparently he thinks she's keeping something from him, and is trying to figure out what it could be. For some reason he thinks that the answer to her secret is within my records."

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "Didn't he give her a collar last month?"

McCoy resisted the urge to wince at the mention of what he'd always considered an archaic and cruel symbol of dominance. Typically in relationships such as the one that Lt. Anders and Ensign Trace were in were announced via the presence of a collar, something showing that the person in question had the protection of the more powerful party's house. It was, McCoy accepted grudgingly, beneficial in some situations, but still the idea of it grated on him.

Kirk had offered him the option instead of wearing his marks, visible to all. A love bite or a hickey was far preferable in his opinion. However, Lt. Anders hadn't had that choice. Scuttlebutt wasn't nearly as interested in whom he was fucking as it was when James T. Kirk took a consort. Everyone on this ship, hell half of the Empire at this point, knew who McCoy belonged to, and Kirk's claim had only been strengthened by the brutality of Ethan's murder.

"Yes, he did." McCoy had to admit he wasn't sure of why that mattered, but he'd long ago stopped trying to follow the labyrinthine twists of Kirk's mind.

"So why didn't you give him what he asked for?"

McCoy looked at him slack jawed in shock. Surely he wasn't suggesting that he thought McCoy should have given the boy her file. "Because until she decides to tell him what's in those files it's none of his business. And regardless of a strip of leather, she has the right to her privacy and confidentiality in my Med Bay."

Kirk rolled his eyes and gestured dismissively with one hand. "Bullshit, she gave that up when she gave him the responsibility for her care. He's trying to be conscientious, and find out what triggers he needs to avoid, and what past injuries might be problematic."

"Which he can find out by asking her, because I damn well don't intend to give him access to her medical file, so he can satisfy his curiosity."

"He'll just find the information another way if you don't give it to him." Kirk looked smug. "Besides, with the exceptions of a few very key files, medicals records aren't that secure. I mean hell, I got access to yours, which was fairly well protected in comparison with most of them with a half hour or so of hacking, and that's without my Captain is God password."

"You hacked my medical records?" McCoy's face flushed not in embarrassment or desire as Kirk had become used to in the past few days. Instead the growl in his voice and the clenching of his hands expressed extreme anger.

"You're really that surprised?" He looked at McCoy dumbfounded that the man cared this much when Kirk had already spent a good deal of time personally examining the nuances of what was covered in said file. "Come on, haven't you noticed that I've never made you kneel, never tied you in a way that could re-injure the particular spots that you've got issues with?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The positions and techniques that I can use safely with you are affected by the fact that certain parts of your body which have been injured and healed badly, even now. Like for example, until I was sure how that knee you'd torn to shreds in college had healed up, I wasn't about to risk putting you on your knees and re-injuring you." He reached towards McCoy who angrily slapped his hands away. "McCoy, the boy is trying to do this right. It is safer for her if he knows what he's dealing with."

"And if she won't tell him she has a reason, and it's not his right to supersede that even if he is the one holding her leash. I will have no part of this."

Kirk looked at him a moment considering, and visibly weighing his options. "So it's the lack of respect for her choice that bothers you?"

McCoy shot Kirk a look that screamed 'well duh', and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the very obvious answer to his distress. "Of course it bothers me."

"So if I was to speak to both of them, and the young lady was to give her consent, without coercion, would you give the man the file?"

"If she wanted me too, then yes."

Kirk looked over at him and smiled. "Well then problem easily fixed." Kirk leaned over to the communications console and put a call into Uhura. "Uhura have Lt. Anders report to my office at 1400. And have Ensign Thrace arrive at 1430." He stroked McCoy on the cheek, ignoring the scowl and furrowed brow. "If she agrees, I'll expect you to provide the medical file with no complaints. If not, I'll see to it that the Lieutenant doesn't bother you again. Fair enough?" McCoy nodded angrily, and resisted the urge to ask just how much he'd read of McCoy's history.

"Now don't get all pissy with me, it's not my fault that you're so tight lipped about your past. I will do what I feel is necessary to take care of you, whether you like it or not. I would prefer that you're happy, but I will not apologize for doing something that I feel is vital to keep you safe."

McCoy glared at Kirk, despite the rationalizations that Kirk was using, he still had no right to intrude on McCoy's past the way that he had. "Did it ever occur to you to ask me?"

"Have I had any indication that you'd be truthful with me, or willing to tell me what I needed to know? I mean you've been so forthcoming up till now about things that I needed to know. I find out through web searches that you're inexperienced, that you're having trouble with your staff after I've had to punish you for endangering your health because of them, and that you've got enemies who would do you harm via spying on a conversation with your sister."

McCoy didn't really have an answer to that. He hadn't told Kirk about his past or lack thereof, partially because he hadn't thought that it mattered. And his knee jerk reaction to finding out that Raines was after him again hadn't been to go to Jim. He couldn't say for sure that he would have told him if he hadn't been there at exactly the right moment to see him fall apart. He'd had the staff issue since taking the role of CMO during the Nardia situation, and it had never occurred to him to mention it to the Captain, thinking that either the man wouldn't care, or would reprimand him for not being in control of his own staff.

"Can't argue with me on that one can you? I understand why it bothers you, but do you understand where Lt. Anders and I are coming from? It's not an easy thing to be responsible for someone who won't talk to you. So sometimes you play a little fast and loose with the issues of privacy. Until you prove to me that you're going to tell me when things are bothering you, or if you're in some kind of trouble, then I will continue to do what I feel I need to, to make sure you're safe. If I have to step on your toes to do so, then so damn be it."

"Yes, because nothing says I care like invading someone's privacy."

"And I've told you what to do to stop that. Until then, you're just going to have to deal with it. Now, finish whatever the hell you have to, so that you can go on your break. I told you that I was going to keep a better eye on you in that regard. You've got five minutes tops before we leave. So either wrap up what you're doing, or keep arguing with me. Choice's yours."

"You're a pain in the ass you know that?"

"Don't recall disputing that fact. Clocks ticking." Kirk felt himself grin as McCoy glowered and slammed his desk drawer shut after depositing his padd and files in it. The glare and the back talk would have annoyed most men in his position, but they were music to his ears, as it meant McCoy was starting to be comfortable enough to be himself again. McCoy'd never been the sweetest tempered of men, but then if Kirk had been looking for a mooneyed bottom, he'd probably have been fucking Chekov since the first time the boy had stammered out the reverent 'keptin'. No, McCoy's rage and vitriol excited him, and he enjoyed the challenge of making him submit.

McCoy stood, and stalked to the door of his office without a word to Kirk. As he passed Kirk grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around before slamming him against the wall by the door and holding him there with seemingly little effort. "Now Bones, no need to be so hostile, I only want what's best for you."

"And what precisely gives you the right to decide that?" McCoy growled beginning to struggle.

"How quickly we forget? I have that right, because your ass is mine McCoy. Now as far as I can tell you've enjoyed that up to this point. And yes, I will invade your privacy. I'll push your limits. And I will piss you off on a regular basis. Now, you can either get used to that, or spend a lot of time uncomfortable and miserable. Somehow you don't strike me as that much of a masochist."

Kirk pressed a fierce kiss to McCoy's lips, and he remembered then that playing with Kirk could be likened to touching live current. His tongue forcefully explored McCoy's mouth, and his hands held him tightly against the wall. As the kiss continued, McCoy found himself relaxing, slowly melting into the wall as the tension started to leave him when he realized that Kirk was not letting up anytime soon. There was nothing he could do to get out of this, he couldn't stop anything that Kirk was going to do, so he might as well enjoy the kiss. It wasn't like Kirk was giving him much of a choice, after all.

Kirk pulled back and took in the still blazing eyes and kiss swollen lips. "We'll discuss this more later. Now we're going to go, have a nice lunch, and then I'm going to go play relationship counselor. Now, are you going to walk out of here with your dignity intact, or would you prefer I drag you kicking and screaming?"

McCoy's cheeks colored at the thought, and he knew damn well that Kirk would follow through on the threat if he pushed him. "That won't be necessary."

Kirk took a step back and allowed McCoy his breathing room. He allowed him to straighten his rumpled clothes and then bowed slightly gesturing to the door. "Shall we?" Kirk was in a forgiving enough mood that the muttered ass as they walked out the door only brought a slight smirk to his face, and he felt a growing sense of contentment as he imagined how to wipe the scowl from McCoy's face after their shift was over. There were of course considerably worse ways to spend an evening, now he just had to convince his recalcitrant consort of this. He anticipated the challenge.

AN: Hope ya'll enjoyed this bit. As you can tell, it's one step forward, and several steps back. And here I bet you thought McCoy had accepted his role and all was sunshine and roses, huh? It's a harsh world in the Mirror Universe, but McCoy'll get there. Bonus points to those of you who can identify the other two science fiction shows that I referenced here. As always thank you for reading and for your support. Also, writing a Vulcan is hard. So let me know if you think Spock is OOC.

Next Chapter: The kids get called to the Captain's office. McCoy and Kirk finish their squabble, and Kirk is very, very convincing.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: The kids get called to the Captain's office. McCoy and Kirk finish their squabble, and Kirk is very, very convincing.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk resisted the urge to laugh at the picture his consort made, glowering at him in the mess. For all that the man was an ornery bastard, he could give off the look of wounded dignity like no one else. It probably wasn't a good sign that Kirk found this display absolutely endearing, and was barely resisting the urge to pinch McCoy's cheeks because he was so adorable in his impotent rage.

As much as McCoy hated him at the moment, even as he bitched and moaned about how Kirk had exceeded the limits of common decency by snooping, Kirk was unconcerned. Kirk knew with unerring certainty that if he were to have need of the doctor's services he would be safe. There would be no scalpel buried in his back, no convenient slip of McCoy's steady surgeon's hands. No even now McCoy still wasn't angry enough to do more than glower. And that gave Kirk a large amount of freedom that he'd never had with any other lover.

He could give McCoy more slack, allow him to snarl and bite and grouse, because at the end of the day he would still roll over and submit. There would be no assassination attempts, no poisoned needles in his bed. He'd never have to beat the man bloody after he tried to kill him, he'd never have to declare open season on his ass after McCoy cheated. It was, Kirk mused, quite a nice change from former relationships.

And because it was a nice change, and he enjoyed the sight of the snarling doctor coming apart so prettily underneath his hands, he allowed the man his sulk. He didn't pinch his cheeks, which despite his intelligence would have led McCoy to react in a way that the Captain couldn't ignore in front of members of his crew. Instead he ordered McCoy his favorite foods, promised him some new toy that he'd had his eye on for Med Bay, and tried to coax him out of his funk with a specially made banana pudding from Mama McCoy's recipe file.

This tactic would have surprised those who knew him by his reputation alone, but he'd discovered long ago that in associations lasting longer than a brief fuck more finesse was needed. He was playing the long game with McCoy, and he planned to keep him around for a very, very long time. As such, he would get far better results did he use the carrot, not the stick.

McCoy remained unmoved and largely unresponsive, at least until Kirk placed his taste of home in front of him. Then he leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms over his chest, and gave him a patently unimpressed look. "Nice try, but I'm not that easy, Kirk. It's gonna take more than a shiny toy and appealing to my sweet tooth to make me forgive you. That kind of theatrics might have worked with the last bimbo you dated, but they don't cut it with me. I'm still mad at you. You had the power to do what you did, and seemingly good reasons for doing it. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

"No, I guess it doesn't. I suppose you'd have preferred that I had respected your privacy and risked hurting you. After all, you expect me to be that much of a bastard. What bothers you more McCoy that I intruded on your privacy, or that I will not let you put yourself in a harmful situation? That I'm making you take care of yourself, willingly or not?"

"I'm a grown man damn it, I don't need a fucking babysitter." McCoy hissed his voice an irritated whisper, still in control of himself enough to be mindful that noticeably mouthing off to the Captain would probably not go well for him.

Kirk raised an eyebrow and McCoy could feel the disagreement on this particular point heavy in Kirk's eyes. "Really now, you could have fooled me. Before I took you in hand you were over extended, neglecting your health, and living on a pittance because your bitch of an ex was gouging you for scraps of affection from a child who adores you. In what way does this imply that you don't need a caretaker McCoy?"

"That doesn't change the fact that I would have preferred that you ask me first, instead of invading my privacy. Which I'm willing to bet you did before we came to this little arrangement of ours. If I didn't answer, then I'd have had the responsibility for anything bad that happened after that."

Ice cold eyes met his, and he realized that this was one area where Kirk wasn't going to bend. He'd been fairly tolerant of McCoy's annoyance with his actions, but there had been no indication that he wouldn't do so again if he felt it was needed. In fact there had been the statement that he would do so, repeatedly if need be.

"And I would have the responsibility for not making you tell me the things that I needed to know. You're entitled to be pissed off or upset. So go ahead and sulk if it makes you feel better. Just don't anticipate me tolerating it for too long." He leaned over the table and in a voice low enough to prevent himself from being overheard by other members of the crew. "You might want to keep in mind though that the more you fight me on this the more I feel like tying you to my bed and fucking you till you can't remember why you were pissed off at me in the first place."

"Think rather highly of yourself don't you?" The words were out before McCoy thought, and he wondered if he might not be regretting his loose tongue before the day was over.

Kirk smirked then stood and walked around the table to McCoy. He leaned in close to him, allowing him to feel the heat of his body, and feel his breath on his neck and the shell of his ear. "It's not arrogance when you can back it up, Bones." Kirk practically purred this statement, and the huskiness of his voice made McCoy shiver. He grabbed McCoy shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "Now enjoy your desert. I've got to go play relationship counselor."

_Captain's Quarters 1400_

The last thing that Samuel Anders had been expecting when he was called into his Captain's office was the offer of a drink and an understanding smile. "So you've started a relationship with Thrace? Not one to shy away from challenges are you Anders?"

"No sir."

"What seems to be the trouble?"

The boy squirmed in embarrassment for a moment before confessing that his new partner suffered from violent night terrors, but when she woke refused to tell him what they had been about, or acknowledge that anything had happened. She also froze at random moments and seemed to be hearing or seeing something that he did not. Kirk agreed that this was indeed worthy of concern and he saw the man's eyes widen in surprise when Kirk assured him that should Kara refuse him access to her records, Kirk would help him get the information that he needed.

This turned out to be very necessary when the green eyed blonde shot him and Anders both a look that would have frozen lava. Realizing that she reminded him a lot of his mother Kirk bowed out of the conversation and allowed the two their domestic squabble. However later that night in their quarters Anders would find a data disk containing the information that he needed. However, he'd have to wait until the swelling from the magnificent shiner that Thrace had given him went down before he'd be able to read any of it.

The situation that the two found themselves in was odd. Typically in a relationship like theirs the collared partner was submissive either through inclination or force or at the very least was less dominate. Anders and Thrace on the other hand were evenly matched in stubbornness and given that Thrace's record for conforming to authority was similar to his own, Anders was going to have his hands full. Kirk certainly didn't envy the man.

Watching them interact did serve as an illustration of how a relationship like theirs could go wrong, and Kirk acknowledged that if the little spitfire was his he'd have tanned her hide long before she blacked his eye. But to each his own, in the meantime he had some damage control to do with McCoy, and contrary to what he'd said in the mess more than sex was going to be needed. While Ethan's arrival into Kirk's sphere, and subsequent removal from the mortal coil had proved informative, he had proved problematic in the sense that he'd interrupted the flow that Kirk had been establishing with McCoy.

He needed to reestablish what had been interrupted now that the matter was dealt with. He needed to switch from stalwart emotional support and 'I'll hold you together as the world falls down guy' to resistance is futile 'you're going to obey me and like it' guy. And he had to do this without damaging the work that he'd done and the seeds that he'd planted that McCoy did have worth and was valued. He sighed, no one ever said that this was going to be easy. But as he'd told McCoy, the man was completely worth it. Now he just had to come up with a plan.

McCoy was surprised to find the lights lowered and Kirk freshly showered when he arrived in their quarters that evening. He had barely gotten in the door when Kirk looked up at him from the padd that he was reading and smirked. "Right on time, lose the clothes." McCoy was a little shocked but the quickness of the order, and paused for a moment. "Did I stutter McCoy?" He caught the annoyance in Kirk's voice, and his hands were reaching for the hem of his uniform shirt even as he shook his head. McCoy folded his clothes and placed them on the chair that had seemingly been placed there for that purpose, then stood waiting to see what Kirk would require of him next.

Kirk rose from the chair and walked over to him, allowing his eyes to linger over the long lines of McCoy's body. He grabbed his chin turning it slightly, before rewarding McCoy with a small smile. "Damn, I am a lucky man. Now, go shower and conduct any personal business that you might have. When you are finished return here. Nod if you understand."

McCoy nodded and walked towards the shower, pondering the fact that he was being left alone to do so. He wondered what it meant that Kirk had obviously arrived before he had and chose to shower by himself. This was the first time that the two of them had showered separately since this began that wasn't precipitated by blood or severe mental distress. In fact the only other time that he'd been ordered into the shower on his own was the last time that he was 'punished'.

Still pondering what this turn of events meant, he quickly finished his shower, brushed his teeth, and attended to other pressing personal business. He resisted the urge to hide behind the towel, knowing that it would only irritate Kirk and that he would end up naked anyway. When he walked out of the bathroom he followed the sound of music into the dining area. Kirk looked up as he walked over, and he realized that there was only one chair, which Kirk was currently sitting in. More specifically there was one chair and a cushion to the side of Kirk's chair.

"It has come to my attention that in attempting to tend to your emotional well being as of late, I've been neglecting other aspects of introducing you to what I expect of you. I've given you the affection and attention that you are so very deserving of, but it appears that I may have left you with questions as to what your limits are."

He stood and walked over caressing McCoy's chin lightly with his thumb before tangling his fingers in McCoy's hair and pressing a steaming kiss on his mouth. "I saw that moment of confusion in the mess today, where you weren't sure if I was going to punish you or not. That doubt, that question means that I have been remiss in setting limits so that you know what to expect and where you stand. We will begin rectifying that now."

Kirk stepped away from him and gestured at the cushion. "I know what your file says. But since you were so keen on me asking you personally, is there any medical reason that I can't put you on your knees?"

"None that I know of." Kirk smiled at him then, and McCoy felt a shiver run down his spine. He could have lied he supposed, but then he'd have to explain why he falsified his medical records. And besides it galled him to think of lying to Kirk, the man had been high handed in this one area, but he'd been very generous with him up unto this point. And so the least that McCoy could do was try to do what the man asked of him. He owed him that much, if for nothing more than the smiling face of his baby girl when she'd called him last week.

Kirk reached over and cupped his hand McCoy's neck, right at the base of his skull, and steered McCoy over to the cushion. "Well, as you've no compelling reason for me not to, on your knees." His hand was stabilizing on McCoy's shoulder as he sank down to his knees. He walked around to face him, and slid two fingers under his chin lifting McCoy's face so that he could meet his eyes. "No need to bow your head unless I tell you otherwise. I expect you to obey Bones, not grovel. I have you do this because you are beautiful like this, not because I want to see you shamed."

Kirk stroked his cheek gently then stepped back to assess the form that McCoy was using. "Spread your legs a little bit." McCoy complied and Kirk nodded placing a hand on his shoulder. "Good, now sit back on your heels, and put your hand behind your back." He pulled McCoy back a bit making him sit taller than he had been previously. Kirk walked around him, inspecting McCoy from all angles before coming to a stop in front of him. Kirk cupped his cheek again and let his fingers twist in McCoy's hair as he smiled down at him.

"Perfect. Unless I tell you otherwise, when I order you to kneel, this is what I expect. Do you understand?"

"Yes." The word wasn't exactly spat, but Kirk could tell that McCoy wasn't particularly pleased with this turn of events. This assessment was furthered by the tightness of his jaw, which Kirk was sure he was grinding his teeth at this point. No matter, McCoy would come to enjoy this, and Kirk looked forward to cultivating this interest.

"That leads us to our next topic. You can call me sir. You can call me Jim. Call me Captain, if you've got some sort of authority figure fetish. And on especially good nights, you can even call me God. But you are never, under any circumstances to call me Master. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." McCoy's cheeked colored at the affirmation, and Kirk felt himself stirring at both the gorgeous picture that McCoy presented, and the drawl of McCoy's voice that always brought to Kirk's mind a sultry southern sunset. Still as much as he wanted to bend the man over the nearest flat surface, this needed to be finished for both of their sakes.

"Very good, you will not call me Master, because that implies that you are a slave. Slaves have no choice, they must serve, and they must obey. There is no dignity in that. This was your choice, and every time we do this it is your choice if you are going to submit to me. There will be consequences do you disobey, and you will not enjoy them. I am not in the practice of giving fun punishments. But if you are willing to face the consequences, you can disobey me. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." There was understandably a wince when Kirk mentioned punishments. McCoy's spanking hadn't been extreme, but it hadn't been pleasant either. And McCoy knew just how creative Kirk could be when he put him mind to it. The fact that he'd promised no lingering harm would come to him did little to reassure him, as Kirk was right there were hundreds of ways that he could make life miserable without leaving so much as a scratch on McCoy's hide.

"I will punish you when you deserve it, and I will push you beyond that which you thought you could accept, but I will not torture or break you. I will care for you, because you are precious to me. Do you understand this?" There was warmth in Kirk's eyes when he told McCoy that he considered him precious that made McCoy startle, and freeze for a moment. Kirk cleared his throat. "I asked you a question, Bones. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." The confusion McCoy felt leached into his voice and Kirk caressed his cheek with the back of his fingers before brushing McCoy's cheek with his thumb as his fingers stroked his jaw. Kirk's voice was soft and almost gentle as he sought to reassure McCoy.

"You are allowed to question me about anything that you don't understand, or uncertain of. In return for answering your questions I will expect you to answer the questions I ask you honestly. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." It was a relief to know that Kirk didn't expect him not to have questions, or to understand everything when this was so far from anything that he'd ever experienced, and McCoy gave a mental sigh of relief though his body stayed still.

"As for that comment you made earlier today." He paused and Kirk watched him tense, waiting for a pronouncement of punishment. "I'm looking forward to proving to you that my high opinions of my skills in that area are warranted." Kirk smiled as the tension in McCoy's frame lessened perceptively. "I like that smart ass mouth of yours. Just mind it in front of the crew, because while I enjoy it, I can't be seen to tolerate insubordination." McCoy nodded, that did make sense.

"Good. Now, I know that you're new at this. You're going to stay in this position for a while. Can you hold this on your own, or would you like me to give you some help?"

"I can do it." The proud jut of his chin made Kirk smile, he looked almost insulted that Kirk had implied that he would need help to kneel.

"Alright, if you change your mind tell me." Kirk walked over to the chair, and sat down beside of McCoy, simply stroking his hair and neck for a few moments. "Hungry? I'd imagine you would be, lunch was a good while ago." McCoy nodded. "Let's see what we can't do to fix that then shall we?" Kirk turned and when his hand came back into McCoy's view it was holding a small piece of bread. McCoy blushed as Kirk held it just far enough out of reach that he had to bend to take it from his hand.

Kirk continued playing with McCoy's hair and neck while he fed him bits of bread, meat, and as a nod to the good doctors lectures on proper nutrition vegetables. He waited patiently for McCoy to chew and swallow each bite that he was given, and gave him sips of something that very closely resembled the iced tea of McCoy's youth from a glass held to his lips. Mishaps and spills were cleaned either by Kirk's thumb sweeping across McCoy's bottom lip, or by the gentle dabbing of a napkin at his mouth or chin.

Kirk's eyes were shinning, enjoying the sight of the beautiful man before him on his knees. He gave McCoy his full attention throughout the meal, touching and talking about nothing in particular. His concern wasn't what was said but keeping his voice in McCoy's ears, so that he would come to associate Kirk's voice with pleasant things such as safety and warmth. The temperature of the cabin had been raised so that McCoy wasn't chilled, and the cushion beneath his knees was supportive and thick. After all Kirk meant to ease McCoy into this gently, and nothing screamed cliché like 'kneel while I beat you'.

Kirk looked down at McCoy and judged that he'd been kneeling long enough. He didn't think that the doctor would be stupid enough to lie to him, but just in case best not push it right away. It was after all no fun trying to play with broken toys. "Come here." McCoy looked surprised when Kirk patted his lap, but still complied without complaint. He rose somewhat shakily, muscles protesting that they were not used to this kind of treatment, and allowed Kirk to arrange him to his satisfaction on his lap. Kirk gave him a few gently biting kisses, and stroked his back.

"You did very well, I'm proud of you. Now, go show me how deliciously fuckable you look in my bed." McCoy walked over to the bed, barely registering that Kirk gave him a playful swat on the ass as he walked by. He was still trying to understand how it was that he'd felt pleased, almost proud that Kirk had been satisfied with him. Since when did it please him that Kirk thought him a pleasant fuck toy?

As much as he wished to he couldn't deny it, he'd liked it when Kirk had told him he was proud of him. When those hands that had so tenderly fed him, had stroked him in conjunction with the words he couldn't help but have a moment of where he desired to arch back into the touch. Color filled his cheeks as he realized that there was some small part of him that had enjoyed Kirk's affections, wanted his approval, and was willing to roll over and take what he dished out for reasons that had nothing to do with the safety of his family.

McCoy gulped as he settled onto the bed. He'd been right before he was completely and utterly fucked, but apparently he liked it? This did not bode well. Then he remembered something that Gaila had told him. He had the power to choose how he reacted no matter what the situation, it might be all that he could control, but it was something. He might enjoy the fact that Kirk seemed to be able to make him roll over and beg at the drop of a hat, but Kirk didn't need to know that. No he thought that would be his little secret.

AN: Now really how long do you think that McCoy's going to be able to keep that particular gem a secret? And did you really think that Starbuck was gonna roll over easy? Not in any universe. Anders would be wise to watch his back, as well as other pertinent parts of his anatomy.

Now I know I've got the boys going from ok to shaky back to ok pretty quickly. In my experience that's how emotions work with big life changing things. Having to accept a patron was huge for McCoy, having Raines return was catastrophic. So he's going to waver back and forth a bit, but he'll get to the happy place that we see the boys at in My Bloody Valentine eventually. After all he has an affectionate dominate Kirk, who doesn't believe in no win scenarios remember.

Next Chapter: Kirk and McCoy play, and McCoy gets a touch of everyone's favorite green eyed monster.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk and McCoy play.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Kirk stood watching him at the foot of the bed for a moment, seemingly considering something before he turned to the chest that McCoy was fairly certain contained the toys that Kirk had used on him so far. Selecting something that McCoy couldn't see, Kirk chuckled before turning around. The sound was enough to make McCoy nervous, after all he had no idea as to what Kirk found worthy of a chuckle. And he'd have to admit that he was still half way expecting some kind of retaliation from that comment he'd made in the mess.

Kirk turned holding up a long length of rope and a pair of ankle cuffs. He walked over to the bed and set the coiled rope and the cuffs on the bed beside McCoy. "Let's see, I believe I said I was going to tie you to my bed and fuck you until you couldn't remember why you were mad at me in the first place." He measured out a long length of rope along his forearm, and as McCoy watched formed a loop which he then secured with a knot.

He took McCoy's wrist in his hand and brought it to his lips to place a kiss on the pulse point, then with a smirk slid the loop around McCoy's wrist, resting it on the skin that his lips had just caressed. McCoy shivered as he tightened it until he could just slip a single finger underneath it. He pushed McCoy's wrist over his head, and leaving him a bit of slack so that he could adjust a hair should the position become too taxing wound the rope behind the headboard and repeated the process with the other wrist.

It was oddly enough sort of freeing to be bound, McCoy mused. He couldn't resist even if he wanted to, and that removed from him the feelings that he should be fighting this. Granted he still didn't plan on showing Kirk that he enjoyed the praise and tender touches that the man had taken to bestowing on him. The man's head was swollen enough, and McCoy had no intention of giving him any more power over him than he already had.

There was little that he could do about the physical end of his response, and even less that he could do to hide his arousal. He was after all human, and Kirk was damn skilled at making his cock stand at attention and beg. That response could easily be dismissed as a simple response to stimulus though, not an expression of a deeper appreciation of what was being done.

It was, McCoy realized, that deeper acknowledgment that Kirk was seeking. He had McCoy's body. Both of them knew that, and there was no point in trying to deny it. But if that had been all that he wanted Kirk wouldn't have taken the time to insure that McCoy enjoyed their encounters. He wouldn't take so much joy out of wringing responses from him. He would have still killed Ethan, because a man in his position couldn't afford to leave a threat to someone under their protection unchallenged. But he wouldn't have been so gentle or comforting while he was at it.

No, he wanted more than the physical. He wanted mind, body, heart and soul. In a sense he already had his soul, as he held Joanna's safety in the palm of his hands. McCoy had been around long enough to know that protection was as easily revoked as given, and though he had Kirk's word as well as the promise of legal standing he still couldn't quite rest easily on that front. As his superior officer, Kirk commanded his mind, at any point in this tour of duty Kirk could command his intellect be placed at his disposal to solve any manner of problem.

That only left him his heart. The only thing that he could deny Kirk was his love. His own integrity, as well as self interest preempted disloyalty from him. But he understood enough about Kirk's psychological make up to understand that the man didn't just want a responsive lover in bed. He wanted that little something extra that came from an affectionate bond. From what he knew, as a boy Kirk had understood his father and mother to have such a relationship. As his father was elevated to a pedestal and made an untouchable ideal by his death, Kirk would logically romanticize his father's relationship with his mother as the ideal to shoot for.

Unlike Lady Winona, McCoy had no intention of falling for the man who held his tether. His mind belonged to Kirk via Starfleet enlistment papers. His soul was sold to him in exchange for his daughter's safety and happiness. His body, traitor though it was, leapt at his every touch. But his heart, no, that remained firmly McCoy's. And he had absolutely no intention of giving that to James T. Kirk. It was a weak sort of resistance, but it was the only one open to him at this point. He would deny Kirk the affection and adoration that he so desired.

Though he'd noticed that Kirk liked an ungodly amount of sugar and cream in his coffee, he'd never admit it. He'd bring it to him black and pretend he didn't know better. As he'd noticed that Kirk seemed to prefer him in clothes that accentuated his form, when given the option, he'd chose those that were ill fitting, though it would be difficult with the wardrobe that Kirk had provided. Kirk liked him scruffy, with enough stubble to raise the slightest of rashes on his skin from where the whiskers had scraped, so he would remain clean shaven. Even though they irked him personally as well, these small rebellions were the only resistance that he had to offer.

He could deny Kirk that which a lover willingly did to please one that they admired. He'd deny him the little signs of true affection, such as dressing to please the other, remembering their preferences, and affectionate little nothings that meant very little until they weren't there. Granted, Kirk could order him to do these things, but McCoy knew enough about the man to know that if he had to order them they wouldn't mean near so much to him.

He was so caught up in his own musings and plots that he didn't notice that Kirk had finished binding his ankles and was kneeling on the bed by his shoulder. He was brought back to his current predicament by the feel of Kirk's fingers resting on his palm. "Squeeze for me?" He did so, and Kirk made a satisfied noise, this was repeated on the other hand. "Good, now anytime I touch your palms when you're tied up like this you give my fingers a squeeze ok? It's a check to make sure that the ropes aren't too tight."

Satisfied with the bonds on his hands Kirk leaned over McCoy, and he fought the urge to shiver under the intensity of the stare. "Now, I do the best I can to keep you safe when I do this. Despite that, sometimes things go wrong. If things are getting too intense or there is something that I need to pay particular attention to at that moment, but you don't necessarily need or want a full stop, call me James. You'll have my attention, I promise. If something is really wrong, like the bindings have gotten too tight and your hands or feet are going numb, or for whatever reason I've freaked you out so badly that no part of this is fun anymore, call me Tiberius. That's full instantaneous stop. Ok?"

McCoy nodded more than a little puzzled that Kirk of all people was giving him a safeword. "Now, I don't anticipate you needing either of those, but I will never punish you for using either one of them. I will, however, make you explain what the problem was. And I won't promise that we won't continue after we've talked about it, so don't think that using one of them automatically gets you out of something that you don't like. Understand?"

"I understand." McCoy tried to keep the confusion that he felt out of his voice. He must have succeeded, because Kirk merely smiled at him before lightly stroking his sides.

"Now where should I start? It's not like I've got any bad choices here. You respond so damn well to my touch, and every fucking inch of you looks good enough to eat." He paused and looked down at McCoy. "You know, I think we should make this more interesting for you." Kirk produced a length of soft flexible leather. "The sensations are so much more intense when you don't know what I'm going to do next, or where I'm going to do it."

McCoy didn't struggle as Kirk placed the leather over his eyes, and settled surprisingly soft eye pads above his eyes before knotting it behind his head. The leather was soft and while it was tied tightly it wasn't uncomfortably so. He could feel the heat emanating from Kirk's body as he leaned over his chest. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"How should I know? I'm a doctor not a mind reader." McCoy growled, only to be rewarded by Kirk's chuckle.

"Blindfold's good then." He pressed his kiss to McCoy's lips and McCoy could feel Kirk's smile with his lips twitched up as they touched his. Kirk pulled away and whistled. "Damn you look fine like this Bones. I'm going to have to remember to truss you up more often."

"I am not a turkey damn it." McCoy growled and tested his bonds.

Kirk palmed his dick and made a sound of confusion. "You mean this isn't a pop up thermometer to let me know when you're hot enough."

"Very funny." McCoy drawled, unimpressed by the poor attempt at wit. Any concern over Kirk's unusually subpar pun was driven away as suddenly warm lips caressed his. Though he normally closed his eyes when they kissed, having no other choice left him more aware of other sensations. Like the texture of Kirk's lips, and the scents that filled his nostrils were those of Kirk's aftershave and the underlying essence of the man. Somehow his scent reminded McCoy of sunshine, despite the fact that they'd been months in space.

Kirk pulled away leaving McCoy panting. "Ok, that one needed work. But give a guy a break, you're distracting as all hell."

McCoy laughed darkly at that one. "Now surely it takes more than a pretty face to distract you? Whatever would Starfleet say if they knew your head was so easily turned?"

Kirk's lips ghosted down McCoy's jaw, and laved his collarbone drawing a hiss from McCoy before replying. "They would say that I had very, very good taste." He punctuated his statement with sharp nips, which made McCoy gasp and tense. Then he soothed the ache with his tongue and then blew a stream of air over the moisture making McCoy shiver and strain in his bonds. A surprisingly warm chuckle filled the air as McCoy squirmed, and Kirk continued making him twitch by running his nails up and down McCoy's sides lightly.

"Speechless already?" Kirk sounded amused, and McCoy would have been annoyed had Kirk not picked that particular moment to fist his cock and tweak his nipple. Any reply that he might have made became a groan, as Kirk relentlessly stimulated him urging him towards higher levels of arousal. Kirk's hands and lips seemed to be everywhere at once, and as he couldn't see what was coming, he couldn't brace himself for the sensations. Bound as he was he wasn't able to move away, even as Kirk drew him towards his peak at an almost embarrassing speed.

It seemed that Kirk was applying the same intensity of focus that he employed in negotiations with rivals or during a crisis to making McCoy come apart for him. The rapid changes between what parts of McCoy's body were stimulated and how Kirk manipulated them left McCoy helpless to resist. Loud moans, quiet whimpers, and violent shuddering gasps were drawn from him with increasing frequency. Having drawn him almost to the edge, Kirk pulled back and traced circles and figure eights on McCoy's chest.

"Looks like I've got you hot enough sweetheart." He reached down and rested his hand just above McCoy's cock, chuckling softly when McCoy's hips jumped involuntarily towards his hand. "Something you want Bones?" The image of McCoy blindfolded and biting his lip weakened Kirk's resolve to make him ask for his satisfaction. His flushed cheeks along with his desperate pants, whimpers, and moans, eliminated Kirk's intention to be demanding. He'd teach McCoy to beg later. For now Kirk wanted to see him fall apart.

The hand that had been hovering over McCoy's cock closed around it, and Kirk took a moment to appreciate the very responsiveness that made McCoy so much fun to play with. The sharp intake of breath and the faint quivering of already tensed muscles stirred Kirk in a way that all the false flattery of those who followed after him were likely to spurt. McCoy made him earn every single gasp, and still would rather bite his lip till it bled rather than ask for what he wanted. Kirk could easily push him until he was insensate enough to beg, but he was enjoying the resistance too much.

There would be no doubt in his mind that when McCoy came, that Kirk had made him do so. It would not be fake, and he would never hear honeyed words from the man. He'd prefer an honest curse to a false complement any day, and McCoy had historically been one of the few that he'd met who dared call him on his bastard like tendencies. And so in an acknowledgment of what it meant to him to be able to know with certainty that the responses he drug from McCoy while he was in his bed were genuine, he decided that he'd be charitable. Just this once, it wouldn't hurt to let McCoy off without having him admit that he wanted what his body was positively screaming for.

Kirk's voice was husky and low in McCoy's ear as he whispered. "Alright, be a contrary bastard. I know you want this. You're so fucking ready to come that you're trembling. I'll let you have the first one for free, without even having to ask for it, just because I'm in the mood to be nice. Come for me McCoy. Come for me right now."

Once given permission, McCoy shuddered and sagged limply against the bed, too tired to notice as Kirk shifted and grabbed a bottle of lubricant. He quickly covered his fingers, and noticed that McCoy's attention seemed to return when he felt fingers circling at his entrance. The surprised yelp he made as Kirk slid the first digit in was swallowed by a passionate kiss. And after a quick finger fucking which had McCoy keening for him again, Kirk slicked himself liberally and proceeded to seat himself firmly within McCoy in one smooth thrust.

McCoy gasped and thrashed as much as he was able at the sudden intrusion, and the pants he gave were those of pleasure mixed with just the slightest edge of pain. "See McCoy, this is one of the benefits of sex on a regular basis. I can fuck you into incoherence without a three hour prelim session first. Isn't it great?" While he asked these questions Kirk began moving, causing McCoy to gasp and hiss. The angle of the thrust was tantalizing, and Kirk smiled while McCoy growled in frustration. At the growl Kirk shifted slightly so his next thrust hit McCoy's prostate.

Kirk noted with satisfaction that McCoy was beginning to have the signs of a second erection. His hand reached down to caress and tease the utterly responsive flesh, and he drank in all the reluctant gasps, and the hitch of breath that happened every time he twisted his fist on the upwards stroke. "Something you want McCoy?"

Still not willing to beg, the bound man growled at him. "Fucking finish this you bastard!"

"Not quite please let me come sir, but it'll do." Kirk increased the tempo of both his thrusts and his manipulation of McCoy's dick. Soon he was breathless, and spilling the results of his satisfaction deep within McCoy. A few deft movements of his fingers and McCoy had his second, more intense albeit mostly dry orgasm. He collapsed atop the man for a moment, panting and letting McCoy feel the full weight of him pressing him into the mattress. Then he rolled to the side and brought his hand to rest over McCoy's pounding heart.

"Still mad McCoy?"

"Depends, if I say yes does that mean we repeat that?"

"After a brief rest period, probably. I did promise to fuck you till you forgot why you were pissed off."

"All due respect, I'm doubting I'm going to be up for that again even with a rest. Twice a night's normally my limit, and rumors aside, I'd imagine yours too."

"You're still far too coherent Bones, I think we're going to have to test that theory." And so he began attacking McCoy's chest and neck with a renewed intensity, and continued the sustained sensual assault until McCoy asked him very nicely to remove the blindfold. Well, more like growled at Kirk that he wanted to see him. But there was a panted please tacked on there, so Kirk figured that counted as asking nicely. Having missed seeing McCoy's eyes, which were so expressive, he allowed him the concession.

Kirk's fingers untied the leather, and watched as McCoy blinked owlishly. Then he resumed the onslaught, which continued for what seemed like hours to McCoy. Finally when his limbs felt like jelly from the heightened state of arousal and the profound sense of relaxation which followed the hyper vigilance, McCoy looked up at him and panted. "What fucking medical records?" Kirk smiled, and covered the now swollen lips with his for a soft kiss.

"I knew you'd come around to my way of thinking on this one Bones." Kirk kept kissing and petting McCoy as he undid the knots holding his wrists, and pulled away only briefly enough to unfasten the ankle cuffs. Kirk took McCoy's wrists in his hands and inspected them, pleased to see that the soft cotton he'd used hadn't marked McCoy's skin. He'd checked both the bindings and McCoy's circulation as they were playing, but one never knew. It was so frightfully easy to give someone rope burn when they struggled. And pleasure often brought more intense struggles than pain.

Once he'd untied McCoy Kirk walked over to the synthesizer and placed an order then headed into the bathroom. Meanwhile McCoy shifted over to his side of the bed, and tried to catch his breath. The sound of water running and the exhaustion put him into a trance and he felt himself start to drift into the happy twilight that came right before a really wonderful night's sleep. He'd barely closed his eyes when Kirk was back by his side. McCoy felt a warm wet towel wiping him clean and a cool glass pressed towards his lips.

Expecting water he quirked an eyebrow when a fruity taste greeted him. "Banana orange smoothie, just what the doctor ordered to keep you from cramping up later." He gently stroked McCoy's side as he held the glass for him to drink. "Doing alright? Not hurting anywhere? No numbness, tingling, lightheadedness?" McCoy grunted something that resembled 'I'm good', and Kirk chuckled. "Did I wear you out?"

McCoy sleepily mumbled. "Uh huh." Which made Kirk chuckle again. Then the combination of the cool air in the room, the evaporating water from his chest and chill of the smoothie made him shiver. Kirk noticed and put the empty glass on the bedside table before he lay down beside him. McCoy was too tired to resist as Kirk pulled him into his arms, and pulled the covers up around them. With a simple voice command the lights faded leaving the two in darkness. And if McCoy felt a warm sense of contentment lying in Kirk's arms as he fell asleep, he had no intention of telling a soul.

AN: Hi everyone. This chapter fought tooth and nail, I've been working on it since the last update, and I'm still not 100% satisfied with it. I won't promise that I won't revise it, but I'm hoping Kirk will come out of the corner and stop being such a whiny bitch. *Kirk glares and Teris returns it.* Didn't get to the jealousy in this chapter, cause Kirk was being a prima donna. However, I managed to coax him out of the corner long enough to write this chapter with old episodes of Hercules the Legendary Journeys. Don't be surprised if McCoy shows up in wings, they *ahem* gave Kirk ideas. Thanks for reading and as always reviews are my own personal brand of heroin, so feedback would be appreciated.

Side note: Kirk will continue to call McCoy pet names and endearments like sweetheart and baby. This comes from my experience of hanging around with gay or bi guys, who tend to call their bedmate/spouse/lover/bit of rough by the same affectionate names that the straight friends do. This has caused problems for some readers in the past with other hyper-masculine characters. Granted, Kirk is typically being a little bit of an ass, as he knows that it'd irk McCoy if he wasn't so horny he's fixing to explode. If it irks you let me know. Complaints will be taken much the same as McCoy's safeword (i.e. I won't promise I'll stop, but I'll at least listen to the complaint).

Next Chapter: McCoy resists the urge to cut a bitch. Oh jealousy, such a nasty emotion. Expect a pea green McCoy (who probably won't turn into a flying monster via a deal his mom made with Hera), an amused Kirk, a confused Vulcan (potentially), and in the words of one of the most awesome song titles ever: Let's Get Drunk and Fight.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: A pea green McCoy, an amused Kirk, a confused Vulcan. Two of those three get drunk and fight.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

The next morning found McCoy pleasantly tangled around Kirk. The two men had shifted positions in their sleep leaving McCoy to wrap around Kirk like one would an oversized stuffed animal. Not that Kirk minded this. No, in fact he was quite happy with this particular development. He would enjoy moments like these in the weeks and potentially months to come. And these unguarded moments where McCoy didn't hide from him would help him be patient until he convinced McCoy to admit his feelings. He wasn't naive enough to think that just because the sex was fantastic that McCoy wouldn't still buck against him a bit.

On the contrary, he expected that McCoy would start rebelling soon. Before now everything was too new, and his past experiences had made him wary of punishment and abuse. Now he seemed to be settling into the fact that Kirk wasn't going to arbitrarily beat him, and that he could get away with smart ass comments so long as avoided them in front of other members of the crew. In many ways this was good, but it also opened the door for McCoy to start acting out in any of the thousands of ways that he could without overtly rebelling.

He knew that McCoy wouldn't blatantly disobey. He was far too smart for that, and wanted to avoid a sore ass badly enough not to push him on that front. This left Kirk with a dilemma. He could call McCoy on each of his infractions, which would solidify his control of the relationship. However, to do so he risked crushing the very sprit that had drawn him to McCoy in the first place. On the other hand if he left them unacknowledged, he risked McCoy thinking him weak. And no one respected a weak man.

He could, he supposed acknowledge the rebellions and make light of them. After all it was unlikely that McCoy would continue them if he believed that Kirk found them amusing instead of annoying. It was rather like the tactic that his mother had taken when she'd caught him smoking. Rather than the angry outburst he'd been hoping for she'd merely smiled and asked what brand he preferred so that they could be added to the family shopping list. That had taken all the fun out of the rebellion and he'd never smoked again.

As Kirk pondered how to proceed with his consort the slumbering man in his arms began to stir. As he shifted and stretched in Kirk's arms, Kirk decided to wing it. After all he hadn't had a whole lot planned aside from getting on the Enterprise when he'd stabbed himself in the neck with a hypo that he'd picked pretty much at random with only a vague memory of it having nasty side effects. And look how that turned out. He'd ended up saving the whole damn planet, and became a big damn hero in the process. Winging it historically worked really well for him. So when McCoy's eyes opened he went with what felt right, and revisited a greeting from their academy days. "Good morning sunshine!"

McCoy predictably shot him a glare that would have petrified a lesser man and growled in a sleep roughened voice. "Fuck, I'd forgotten how damn hyper you are in the morning." Then he flung an arm out for a loose pillow and proceeded to use it to cover his face as he tried to hide from the lights. Armed now with knowledge that he'd lacked in their time together at the academy Kirk allowed his fingers to ghost teasingly over McCoy's sides drawing an instinctive gasp and flail of McCoy's limbs.

"Come on Bones, time to rise and shine. The morning's a wasting."

McCoy lowered the pillow a fraction of an inch, glared at him and smacked him with the pillow. "You know, no one should be this fucking chipper in the mornings. I think you might need a trip to sick bay to check you out. A check up that will no doubt involve numerous hypos, and potentially nutritional restrictions."

"Come on Bones, a nice hot shower should make you feel more human. And I'll have some coffee waiting when you get out to complete the transformation. Cause right now you look like you were on the wrong end of a fight with a pissed off leaf blower." He pulled the covers away from the man who gave him an aggrieved groan, before glaring at him and stalking off to the shower. Kirk watched him go and laughed softly. He'd forgotten how much fun waking McCoy could be, made even more so by the fact that he no longer had to fear retaliation.

Still, it was better to have a happy consort than a grumpy pissed off one, so he rose to program the coffee he'd promised. And while he was at it he also programmed a hearty breakfast for the two of them. He had a feeling McCoy was going to need his energy today, and he'd only just started seeing to it that McCoy filled out that magnificent frame of his. It wouldn't do to have him waste away again because Kirk was being lax on making sure that he was properly fed.

Kirk looked over the pad he was reading as McCoy came out clad only in a towel, chest still glistening with water droplets. And despite the fact that his shift started in less than a half hour, he felt the need to trace each drop's path with his tongue until McCoy writhed and mewled like a cat in heat. Looking over at the chronometer, and mentally calculating how long it would take to ravish McCoy appropriately he cursed to himself. He didn't have time to call McCoy on the tantalizing invitation that he was giving him. And the satisfied smile over the coffee served 'black like my mood' as was McCoy's preference said that McCoy was well aware of this.

So he growled and ceded this first round to McCoy, leaving him reluctantly to his coffee. Before he left however, he pulled McCoy into a steaming kiss that left both of them panting and McCoy with an itch that he couldn't scratch without Kirk's permission. He might be suffering from a lack of his consort's affections on the bridge for the first part of his shift, but damned if he was going to be doing so alone. When McCoy groaned as Kirk ran his fingers over the tented fabric of his towel, Kirk merely tisked and wagged a finger at McCoy.

"That's what happens when you decide that you want to be a tease. Next time, make sure we've got time to play if you don't want me to leave you hard up."

He patted McCoy lightly on the cheek. "Don't worry. If you're lucky I might have time to sneak into your office around lunchtime. And if it gets to be too painful you can always call me and ask for permission to come."

"Or I could always pull out from my musty old memory banks the time I treated you for the Kilingon equivalent of chlamydia." Kirk winced, though his memory of contracting that particular pathogen was fuzzy he'd imagine that McCoy's memories of the event were probably about as effective as a cold shower.

"That my good doctor is cheating. But suit yourself. You'd have had a far better time jacking off in your office while I listened in, but I suppose you'll enjoy reading your case files about the incident from a purely academic standpoint."

"The point isn't to enjoy it. You know damn well I don't enjoy seeing people suffering. Not you or anyone else."

"And so you choose to subject yourself to something that distresses you, when you could have experienced something pleasurable instead, and you thought I was fucked up? Does the idea of asking permission bother you that much?"

"As much as I hate to wound your delicate ego you're not so irresistible that I can't control myself long enough to get through my shift. I am not an oversexed teenager who's going to fawn over you because you happen to be decent in bed."

Kirk shot him a dark look, he knew McCoy wanted to push his buttons, but really he'd have thought that last night would have been enough to prove that calling Kirk's prowess in bed into question was rather useless. Well unless he wanted to be fucked through the mattress and made to come so hard that his whole body ached, and really if that's what he wanted he would do a whole lot better to ask for it instead. It's wasn't like Kirk was going to say no. "Decent? If you scream that much for decent, I'm pretty sure that a good hard fuck would kill you."

McCoy resisted the urge to quake under the heated look Kirk sent his way, and wasn't stupid enough to resist as Kirk pulled his chin up so that he could plunder his mouth. When he pulled away Kirk smirked as he took in McCoy's kiss swollen lips and heaving chest, and decided that a bit of button pushing of his own was in order. "You're in for a treat tonight McCoy. I'd been breaking you in gently, but obviously I've been overly concerned about pushing you too far if the experience has only been 'decent'. If you required more rigorous attentions, all you needed to do was ask."

Kirk saw McCoy's eyes widen and that and his urge to backpedal at that statement was written plainly on his face, but just as his pride had driven him to toss out the insult in the first place, it wouldn't let him apologize for it. Despite his threat, he'd not be cruel to McCoy tonight. At least not more than he'd enjoy, in any case. But he wasn't above letting the man squirm for a bit, after all anyone else who'd insulted his prowess would have been begging for mercy by now. But since this was McCoy, who'd be warming his bed for the foreseeable future, he figured that he'd do well to ensure that the man learned to respect his abilities gradually.

It was after all one thing to fuck an anonymous one night stand until he couldn't walk straight, though he'd always saved that for those playmates who liked it rough. But despite McCoy's words he didn't need Kirk's violent intensity at the moment. Things were progressing at just the right pace to teach McCoy about the joys that could be found in Kirk's bed. There had been enough lovers in Kirk's past that he recognized that for some people a slap would be more pleasurable than a caress, or a rough fuck would bring more satisfaction than gentle lovemaking. McCoy despite his poorly chosen words wasn't one of them. No, he'd counted on wounding Kirk's pride, and hadn't thought of the consequences.

The anticipation of what Kirk had planned for him this evening, if he'd been taking it easy on him so far, would be enough of a lesson to think before speaking. Whatever McCoy imagined that Kirk was going to do to him this evening would be far more effective than anything that Kirk himself could actually come up with. A person's mind and fears were often far worse than anything that someone else could threaten them with. Of course if the way that McCoy was squirming in his chair was any indication, he wasn't exactly terrified of the idea.

With a smirk he straightened his uniform, and skimmed one fingertip over McCoy's jaw making him shiver. "You'd best finish your breakfast McCoy, and get dressed. It would hardly do for the CMO of the ship to be out of uniform while he's on shift. I hear the Captain's a real bastard about that sort of thing." Before McCoy could retort with something that could get him in even more trouble Kirk turned and walked out, mentally calculating just how long it would take to get from the bridge to his quarters after Alpha shift. After all he had something wonderful to look forward to.

ISS Enterprise

Bridge 1400

After his conversation with McCoy, Kirk resisted the urge to take a walk to Med Bay that afternoon during his lunch break. While it would have been far more satisfying to have an afternoon delight, the anticipation that McCoy would build in his absence would be worth his forbearance. When the turbolift doors slid open while he and Spock were consulting over the defenses of the latest race that they had been sent to bring to the light of civilization, and of course submission to the Empire.

He looked up to see McCoy standing there with a padd, and only years of practice that had made keeping his face neutral second nature allowed him to conceal his surprise. McCoy did his best to avoid the bridge when possible, as he hated the view of open space afforded by the view screen, and he typically cut a wide berth around the other senior officers on the ship unless they were bleeding in his Med Bay. In theory there were valid reasons for McCoy to be on the bridge, though Kirk knew of nothing that would need his signature, or anything out of the ordinary that would occasion a visit.

He also couldn't account for the tightened jaw or the clenched fingers on the padd that McCoy was carrying. At least not until he looked down and realized just how close he'd been standing to Spock, and how the soft conversation could have looked to someone who was prone to think the worst. Add to it the rumors that he'd done nothing to dissuade, which had assumed that his first officer had also spent a fair amount of time seeing to the Captain's personal needs in the past, things looked especially grim.

He wasn't sure if the sentiment that went through him was elation at the fact that McCoy cared enough to be jealous, or frustration at the fact that yet another road block was cropping up in his plans to make McCoy acknowledge his more tender emotions. Frustration ceased the day when McCoy sat the padd down in front of his station with exaggerated care, looking as if he was resisting the urge to hurl the damned thing into a wall, then turned on heel and walked back to the turbolift. Kirk continued mentally mulling over the incident as he talked with Spock, who had merely raised an eyebrow at McCoy's arrival and rapid departure.

He did still have a ship to run, and he couldn't be scampering off every time that McCoy got offended by the fact that there had been sex in his life before the good doctor had deigned to accept Kirk's protection. So the fallout from the dark look on McCoy's face was just going to have to wait until the end of his shift. It was one thing to delegate when the man was having an emotional breakdown, or was sick or injured. But for an emotional temper tantrum, for that he'd just have to wait as Kirk didn't intend to interrupt the running of his ship to coddle hurt feelings.

ISS Enterprise

Captain's Quarters 1800

After his shift Kirk walked back towards his quarters, delayed temporarily by Spock's inquiry into McCoy's action's earlier that day. He hadn't been the only one to notice what was for McCoy aberrant behavior, of coming onto the bridge, and being uncharacteristically silent. Of course being Vulcan, Spock hadn't said anything as blunt as 'looks like you're in for it when you get home', instead he had expressed his opinion in a much more obscure fashion.

ISS Enterprise

Officer's Briefing Room 1700

"Doctor McCoy seemed to be distressed earlier today, Jim. And his arrival on the bridge without a direct summons deviates from his normal behavior patterns. Is your consort well?"

"Physically, he's fine Spock, emotionally not so much. McCoy saw the two of us talking, and was jealous."

Spock raised an eyebrow most expressively. "A most illogical reaction Captain, you have committed yourself to Dr. McCoy. Therefore what reason does he have to be jealous?"

Kirk rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I knew he was going to be a challenge Spock. His ex did a number on him. He's got insecurities and self worth issues on top of issues. He's jealous, even though he'd never admit it, and probably wouldn't recognize it if one of us accused him of it." Kirk smiled slightly, and gave a rather dark chuckle. "It's not all bad though."

"Most illogical Captain, you would not have chosen an unworthy mate, and have given no indication that you seek to deviate from your consort. Therefore his jealousy is completely unfounded, and yet you are amused?"

"It's a step in the right direction, yes. He won't admit that he's jealous, but he is, and that's a good sign. What is a logical precursor to jealousy?"

Spock thought a moment and Kirk could see when the sharp Vulcan mind latched onto Kirk's meaning. "You are pleased because he is jealous, because in order to be jealous he must first experience some feeling of distress at the thought of losing your affection."

"Exactly, if he didn't care he wouldn't be jealous. It wouldn't matter that he thought I was paying you undue attention."

Spock issued a short little sigh that in a human would have equaled an exasperated eye roll. "I will never understand why you humans must make such affairs so difficult."

"What can I say Spock, not all of us can be as logical and rational as you. That's part of the fun of it. Now I'm going to go see to my consort now, who's probably gotten himself worked up into quite a fit of temper by now. If you hear any unusual thuds or yells ignore them unless I call you."

"You believe that the doctor would seek to physically harm you?"

"No, I believe that he might have clouded judgment at the moment which might lead to certain lessons getting a bit more heated than they normally would. I can certainly handle anything that McCoy throws at me."

"Undoubtedly Captain, I bid you good evening."

ISS Enterprise

Captain's Quarters 1800

Kirk keyed in the code to his quarters, not certain as to what he would find inside. He was at least certain that he'd not be subjected to flying vases and hysterical demands that he prove his affection by killing the object of McCoy's jealousy. That particular failing had been unique to Carol it seemed. Which had been a shame really, he'd lost several very fine Yeomen and a lab partner that way. But the makeup sex had always been phenomenal so he couldn't really complain.

Whatever had entered his mind, the angry accusations, the violent tantrums, nothing had prepared him for what he found when he walked into his quarters. There at his table, drunk off his ass off of cheap replicated beers and good bourbon was his consort, who looked at him through blurry vision. "Only took you an hour after your shift to get home, guess all those stories I heard about Vulcan stamina were wrong."

Kirk resisted the urge to throttle McCoy. He'd only left him alone for an hour or so past the end of shift and he was already drunk off his ass and convinced that Kirk had cheated on him. McCoy turned away from him and cranked the music up, and began caterwauling to an old twangy song from the late twentieth century. After a few drunken choruses of 'Your cheating heart', Kirk was looking around for a ball gag, however he took the more expedient route of cutting off the music and grabbing McCoy's chin to force him to look at him.

"McCoy, I will only say this once so pay attention. I am not fucking Spock. I've never fucked Spock. And I have no intention of fucking Spock. I did, however, have every intention of fucking you until I got here and you were so damn drunk you can't see straight."

"You didn't fuck the green blooded hobgoblin?" McCoy slurred and hiccupped, but he was starting to look like a happily bewildered drunk, instead of a maudlin weepy one.

Jim sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No Bones, I didn't fuck Spock."

"And you didn't want to?" This question was asked with the level of belligerent suspiciousness that indicated a supreme state of drunkenness, along with a scowl and exaggerated assessing look.

Kirk put his hand on McCoy's shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "No McCoy, for reasons that escape me at the moment, I don't want to fuck anyone but you."

This statement brought a happy smile to McCoy's face, and Kirk wasn't quite prepared for the clumsy attempt at a hug. This attempt actually consisted of McCoy falling forward into Kirk's arms, and laying his head on Kirk's should while nuzzling his neck. As much as Kirk wanted to rail at McCoy for his reckless disregard for his own wellbeing, and his lack of faith in Kirk who'd given him no good reason to doubt his fidelity, he knew that McCoy was in no frame of mind to understand Kirk's complaints at the moment. So for the moment, he merely brought a hand up to tangle in McCoy's hair, while his other arm encircled him and held him up.

This tendency McCoy had towards self harm would have to be dealt with. And there would be discussions, and recriminations. However, for the moment he merely shushed the slightly staggering man in his arms and led him to bed. Bad things could come later, for now he'd enjoy McCoy's impromptu imitation of an octopus. It may not have been the way that he'd intended to get the man into his arms tonight, but he was nothing if not willing and able to take advantage of opportunities as they arose.

AN: So there we have it, drunk and jealous McCoy, confounded Spock, and amused/irked Kirk. I hope as always that you enjoyed reading, and that if you did that you kindly take the time to let me know.

Next up: What happens when you mix a hung over country doctor and a non-amused starship Captain? And what exactly does McCoy say whilst he's drunk that leaves him so damn embarrassed the next morning? That and more coming up next in Through A Mirror Darkly!


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: A hung over doctor and a ticked off Captain. This can't end well.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good. I mean really do you really think I can get more gruesome that Ethan?

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

ISS Enterprise

Captain's Quarters 2100

McCoy woke a few hours later with a splitting headache, and feeling like he'd been kicked in the stomach. A cautious opening of one eye revealed a sharp spike attempting to penetrate his eye socket. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, and felt his stomach lurch. Kirk stirred and watched as McCoy bolted for the bathroom. Even though he knew that McCoy had brought this on himself, he still winced at the sound of retching that reached him through the partially open door.

He rose with a sigh and followed McCoy into the bathroom. He nudged the door open with his foot and leaned against the door frame, waiting until McCoy stopped coughing. He didn't have any indication that something was amiss until McCoy looked at him and gasped. "Jim, something's wrong. I shouldn't be this sick."

Kirk shrugged, and answered with a tone that implied annoyance with McCoy's behavior. "You're hung over Bones, that's what happens when you down more than half a bottle because you're acting like a self destructive idiot."

McCoy clasped the sides of the toilet tightly enough that his knuckles blanched, before panting. "Didn't drink half a bottle, I had two beers and a shot. I shouldn't be this sick."

Kirk felt a growing sense of discontent begin to crawl up his spine and settle heavily in his stomach. He'd seen McCoy drink, and the man was famous throughout Starfleet for his ability to hold his liquor. He was right, a couple of beers and a shot in an hour should have left McCoy slightly buzzed, not sloppy drunk and puking his guts out. He walked over and rested his hand on McCoy's forehead. "You're burning up."

He cursed himself for ten kinds of idiot when McCoy began to tremble in his arms. "Jim, I don't feel so good."

"It's ok Bones, I gotcha." Kirk pressed the alert button by the door and called for a medic as McCoy began to fade into unconsciousness. The last thing that McCoy heard was a muffled curse as he began to seize, while Kirk tried to catch and restrain him so that he wouldn't hit his head.

ISS Enterprise

Med Bay 0100

Kirk had brought McCoy into Med Bay and graced M'Benga with a glare and informed him that if McCoy didn't make a full recovery, that Kirk would make what he'd done to Raines look like a day in the park. Then he settled in by McCoy's side and answered the questions that M'Benga and Chapel had for him. If he felt guilt for not noticing something was off with McCoy earlier in the evening he would allow no one to know of it. This was not the time for guilt.

Upon hearing of McCoy's symptoms and their progression through the evening, they diagnosed that he'd been poisoned, and were attempting to figure out which compound had been used. Pike was investigating the matter while Kirk stayed by McCoy's bed in Med Bay. In short order it was determined that the compound had been delivered via something that he'd consumed in Kirk's quarters.

McCoy's fever continued to rise as Chapel surround him with ice packs, and as his fever continued to climb the seizures reoccurred. Finally after what seemed like an eternity the measures that M'Benga and Chapel were taking seemed to be working, and the fever began to break. Kirk watched as McCoy's stomach was pumped, his system flushed, and as hypospray after hypospray was administered.

Shortly after McCoy's admission Winona appeared behind her son and placed a hand on his shoulder before sitting beside him to keep him company in his vigil. M'Benga walked up to the two and any thought that he'd ever had of causing McCoy harm disappeared as Kirk's eyes met his own. The darkness there chilled his blood and sent a shiver down his spine. Kirk looked back at McCoy and he asked in a tone of voice that promised death to whom ever had done this. "What's the damage doctor? How bad is it?"

"He'll live. He's going to feel like hell the next few days, but he'll live. His liver and kidneys were damaged by the poison, and his heart was over taxed. But we've managed to eliminate the toxin and are working on reversing the damage as we speak. He's going to be sore, and weak for the next few days. But he's going to make a full recovery."

Spock came to McCoy's bedside just as he was receiving the news, carrying the analysis that he'd done on the bottles found in Kirk's quarters. He handed them to Kirk allowing him a moment to peruse them. "So the poison was in McCoy's bourbon?"

"Affirmative, Captain. And as it is well known that bourbon is the doctor's beverage of choice, it is logical to conclude that this was an attempt against your consort."

Kirk's jaw began to clench and his fingers clenched on the rails of McCoy's biobed. "Spock, I'm sure Admiral Pike could use your help in investigating this matter. I will remain here until the son of a bitch is in my interrogation room, in case they decide to make a second attempt. Find this bastard for me, Spock. Someone will die for this."

"I would expect nothing less, Captain. I will keep you apprised of our progress."

ISS Enterprise

Med Bay 0400

Kirk sat by McCoy's bedside with his hand resting on his phaser, and watching as McCoy's chest rose and fell shallowly. He was alone now, having sent his mother away, and the other members of medical staff giving the bed a wide berth unless needed to care for McCoy as no one wished to aggravate the Captain further. While keeping an eye out for any potential attacks he allowed himself to feel the guilt that he'd pushed aside earlier. McCoy had been hurt, because Kirk had taken him into his bed.

He had made the gentle man in the bed before him a target, and then he'd failed to properly protect him. Hell, he hadn't even taught him to do so himself. It was as routine as breathing for Kirk to scan anything he consumed for toxins, poisons, and allergens. But he'd not imparted the strong necessity of that to McCoy. He'd been complacent, thinking that McCoy had adequate protection by way of Kirk's fearsome reputation.

If that wasn't bad enough, he'd failed to notice that McCoy was behaving nothing like himself when he returned to quarters that night. He'd allowed his wishful thinking to cloud his judgment, and had McCoy not been lucid enough to tell him something was wrong he'd likely have gone on thinking that he'd merely over indulged. He'd even planned to punish him for acting so recklessly. He took the limp hand within his own and traced over the surprisingly soft skin, and laced his fingers through McCoy's.

He should have known that something was wrong with his consort when he'd been so very obviously jealous. He still believed that the emotion was genuine, but he should have known better than to think that McCoy would express it in such a way at this point. He'd barely gotten McCoy to avoid startling and he'd believed that he was going to go on a bender because Kirk had been standing too close to Spock? There was the niggling feeling of resignation that he had actually known that something was wrong, he'd been surprised by McCoy's behavior, but he was enjoying the results so had stupidly ignored something that could have killed the man.

He had enjoyed the fact that McCoy had been jealous over him. He had enjoyed the hug and physicality that he normally had to wring from McCoy. And because he'd enjoyed them he'd been willing to cast aside his doubts about the out of character behavior. And it had damn near gotten his consort killed. He watched the slumbering man with an almost pathological need to see him awake, to hear his voice, and thus gain the reassurance that his misstep hadn't been fatal.

However, even the will of the indomitable James T. Kirk couldn't pull someone from medically induced unconsciousness. And so Kirk waited, standing as sentinel over his slumbering consort, waiting for him to either wake, so that he could begin to make a mends for this colossal gaffe, or for Spock to inform him that he'd found someone for him to kill. For now however, he tried to remind himself that he hadn't completely fucked things up, and that McCoy was going to be fine. After all Kirk would accept nothing less.

AN: Kudos to those of you who caught that McCoy was acting strangely last chapter. I'd wondered if folks would catch onto the emotion being right, but the freedom of expression being all wrong (though enjoyable for all parties). As tempting as it was you didn't really think I was going to make getting a confession out of McCoy that easy on Kirk did you?

For those of you that are curious, alcohol wise McCoy would have been legal to drive in my state, so definitely shouldn't have been this sick. Kirk however had been a bit too confident in the fact that his plans for McCoy were on track and seemingly infallible, and it's not fair for McCoy to be the only one with self doubt issues. I hope all of ya'll enjoyed this bit, and I'll try to have the next part to you soon. As always, if you enjoyed it, please let me know. If you didn't that's fine too, but a name on the review helps, especially if you ask a question you want answered.

Next Chapter: McCoy is not happy to be a patient in his own Med Bay, and Kirk finds the guilty party.


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy recovers, his would be assassin doesn't have a prayer.

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good. I mean really do you really think I can get more gruesome that what I did to Ethan? Kirk is rather annoyed at the moment, but the results for the prisoner are still up in the air.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

ISS Enterprise

Med Bay 1600

Kirk sat beside McCoy's side, the reports were favorable, but he still hadn't stirred. M'Benga assured him that he would do so soon, but was looking progressively more nervous as each hour passed. Kirk took in the sight of McCoy lying still and pale against the crisp sheets on the biobed, and with a patience that belied the anxiety that he felt he waited. There was nothing he could do but wait, as crazy as that made him. There was nothing that he could do to make the man wake faster, and he'd be damned if he was going to leave him alone. Not while there was still someone stupid enough to try to take out his consort aboard his ship.

He noticed long before the medical staff on shift when McCoy began to shift, and saw the beginnings of consciousness returning to McCoy before the monitors began to chime. It was his hand that reached to still McCoy's movement as he shifted, and his words of reassurance that reached McCoy's ears before he'd even fully realized where he was. His hand rested on McCoy's chest feeling the steady beat of his heart and he breathed a sigh of relief when McCoy opened his eyes and groaned at the light. "Take it easy, you've had a rough night." He lowered the light intensity in McCoy's section of Med Bay with a voice command, and grabbed McCoy's hand in his own. "That should help, why don't you try that again."

McCoy complied, still blinking owlishly even in the reduced light. "Jim?" He croaked, voice roughed by the rather violent purging of the poison from his system. "What happened? Why am I in Med Bay?" Kirk grabbed a glass of water that he'd personally poured and checked for contaminates and held it to McCoy's lips allowing him to take small sips to ease his parched mouth and soothe his raw throat.

The apology that he owed his consort for not anticipating this would be issued later, when Kirk had him safely back in his quarters. There was no point in sugar coating what happened, and McCoy was too damn smart for Kirk to lie to him. He met the confused eyes and held them with his own, before replying, doing his best to keep the rage he'd felt at the attack from his voice. There was no need to scare McCoy again, he'd only just gotten him over the last time. "You were poisoned last night."

McCoy looked puzzled for a second, as if trying to process why anyone would possibly want to poison him, before remembering that he might just be considered important now. "What did they use?"

"They injected your bourbon with physostigmine." Kirk raised an eyebrow as McCoy began to curse a blue streak.

"So I'm guessing on top of the liver and kidney damage, we're talking hallucinations and the mother of all drunken asshole behavior?"

"Right on all counts, except for the drunken asshole part. If that's how you act when you're drunk doctor we're going to have to get you to cut loose more often." He allowed himself to tease lightly, unwilling to broach the topic of how terrifying it had been to see McCoy shaking on the floor of their quarters.

McCoy groaned and brought his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Alright, out with it. What did I do?" Kirk felt some of the fear that he'd never admit to begin to dissipate as if McCoy were well enough to be embarrassed then obviously he wasn't too badly injured.

"You don't remember?" Kirk asked with a raised eyebrow. M'Benga didn't mention anything about memory loss, but then he had been more focused on assuring Kirk that his consort wasn't going to die to get into the specifics of recovery. Now that McCoy was awake, Kirk and M'Benga would have to have a conversation about what possible lasting repercussions could be.

"No, I've got a few images and sounds, but nothing solid." Kirk decided that he should to test how deeply the good doctor's memory loss went. Some very interesting statements had been made while McCoy was drugged, and if he truly didn't remember it could give Kirk ammunition that he needed in wooing the man.

"So you don't remember telling me that you thought I was a pretty boy, and that you wanted to pet me?" Kirk asked with a raised eyebrow.

McCoy groaned and covered his eyes while blushing. "Please tell me that I didn't?"

"You really don't remember do you?" McCoy shook his head with a slight wince.

Secure in the fact that McCoy didn't remember the events of the evening Kirk took pity on the mortified man before him. "Don't worry. You got a little belligerent about the fact that you thought I was fucking Spock, and a little bit clingy, but nothing too embarrassing I promise."

"Somehow I think we'd have different opinions on that." McCoy shifted on the bed, and groaned as the movement caused him to strain sorely abused muscles. "Get the license plate of the truck that hit me yet?"

Kirk's hands clenched around the rail of McCoy's biobed. "Not yet, but I will. Spock and Pike are looking into the matter, and I'm not letting you out of my sight until they're caught."

"Jim, I'm sure that I'm perfectly safe in my own Med Bay, you have a ship to run." He didn't let Kirk know, but he was touched that he came before the Enterprise, even if he didn't want to disrupt the running of the ship. Or let whoever had done this start thinking that the Captain was weak because of him. Not that he was worried about James T. Kirk, mind you, but still it made it much safer for Joanna if Kirk wasn't compromised. And if he felt a slight pang of concern about the dark circles under Kirk's eyes, and the worried crease in his brow, he had no intention of telling a soul.

"And you should have been safe in our quarters, but they managed to spike your booze. I'm not going anywhere unless it's interrogation. Anyone that wants to hurt you is going to have to go through me. So you might as well get used to my company, because I'm not going anywhere until I know you're alright."

McCoy sighed and nestled back against the pillow trying in vain to ignore the way that the disposable case crinkled underneath him. "Well if you're going to stay, at least get a blocker for your headache, and get Chapel to bring you a bed."

"Excuse me?" Kirk looked at him vaguely amused at being ordered around by a man in a hospital bed, who didn't have the strength to lift his own arm much less manhandle Kirk into anything.

"You look like hell. I'm guessing you've been here since this happened, and you're so tense that you're giving me a headache. Get a blocker from Christine, and have her pull you up a bed. I'm not saying that you have to leave, but you need rest." Kirk noticed that dealing with McCoy in Med Bay was like dealing with an entirely different animal than the man who'd been bedding down with him in their quarters. It was clear that he expected that Kirk would pull up a bed and take a blocker. Kirk was certain both were medically sound suggestions, but as they would leave him mentally compromised or sluggish, he preferred the sharp edge that the pain from the headache was giving him, and the uncomfortable visitor's chair pressing into his spine mercilessly.

"Oh no Bones, you can only order me around when I'm the one in the bio-bed. You're a patient at the moment, which means you have to obey all those orders that you normally curse me for ignoring."

McCoy shot him a weak glare that was a better indication than most any other as to how weak the man was at the moment. "It's my job to make sure that you above all other crew members are in optimal health. Poisoned or not, I'm still your CMO."

"Actually M'Benga is acting CMO at the moment. Right now you're on sick leave." Kirk winced at the enraged look on McCoy's face, he imagined he'd look the same if someone had just told him that Cupcake had the bridge while he was incapacitated. It wasn't that the man didn't have the skills to be a good doctor, but he differed from McCoy's deeply held beliefs about how a doctor should treat patients.

"You left him in charge of my Med Bay?" McCoy asked incredulously.

Kirk patted his shoulder reassuringly and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Don't you worry about that, you just worry about getting back on your feet. Besides he knows that you're going to review all of the cases he treated when you're back on duty. He'll behave."

"Really, I can be discharged anytime now. I'm perfectly capable of monitoring myself, and once the poison has been purged it's just a matter of letting the body recalibrate." This protestation was ruined by McCoy's wince as he attempted to rise from the bed.

"So eager to get to your punishment already?" Kirk drawled with a smirk.

"What punishment? How precisely was I to anticipate being poisoned?" McCoy's looked at him incredulous and slack jawed, obviously shocked that Kirk would consider punishing him on top of an assassination attempt.

"You know those scanners that everyone else uses to make sure they don't end up in Med Bay due to something like this? Our quarters happen to be stocked with at least half a dozen of the damn things. Next time save us both some trouble and use one." The look that Kirk sent him was pointed, and screamed don't you dare do something this stupid again.

McCoy shrugged. "Never been important enough that anyone wanted to kill me before, are we sure they weren't trying for you?"

"With poisoned bourbon? Not a chance." There was an uncomfortably awkward moment, before Kirk sighed and gestured to the bio bed. "Given that I saw exactly what they had to do to get rid of the stuff when I brought you in here, I think it's safe to say that you feel like shit, right."

McCoy closed his eyes, and Kirk saw him start to deny it before he thought better of it. "I've been a hell of a lot better yes."

Kirk was sure that was still a gross understatement, but he counted the fact that the man would admit weakness to him at all a victory. "Well then, we'll forego the punishment this time around. But when we get you out of here we're going to have a long talk about food and beverage safety. Understand?"

"I'd never really had to think about it before. I'll be more careful in the future I assure you." He gestured at the monitors and the iv attached to his arm. "This is not an experience that I'm looking forward to repeating anytime soon."

"When I get my hands on whatever idiot tried this, I assure you no one will be stupid enough to try this ever again."

"Can we not talk about that right now?" He looked pitiful and miserable, and Kirk understood that he didn't want to ponder the ethical ramifications of reconciling himself to what Kirk would do in the name of vengeance. So he took McCoy's hand in his own, and nodded. He'd allow his consort his denial if it helped him rest easier. There was no need to distress the man. There were plenty of other people on the ship to terrorize after all, and when he was done anyone who had ever so much as thought of looking at Leonard H. McCoy the wrong way would be hastily changing their minds.

AN: So you've got a little while longer to wait to find out the identity of the poor smuck that has earned Kirk's wrath. I tried to write an interrogation scene first, really I did. But Kirk was too worried about McCoy to do anything but stand guard. Apologies for the length of time between updates, hopefully the next one will be a bit quicker.

Next Chapter: McCoy's in Med Bay, Kirk's in interrogation, and someone's in a coffin.


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy's in Med Bay, Pike's on the Bridge, and what is Lady Winona up to?

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good. I mean really do you really think I can get more gruesome that what I did to Ethan? Kirk is rather annoyed at the moment, but the results for the prisoner are still up in the air.

Chapter Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Volitan, your reviews totally made my week! Thanks so much!

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

ISS Enterprise

Bridge 0800

Christopher Pike had not expected to sit in a Captain's chair again after his experience with Nero. Instead he'd been completely flabbergasted that he'd not been left behind, or killed prior to disembarking for Starfleet Medical. Hell, truth be told he was surprised that he hadn't been killed while residing in the recovery ward. He had lingering suspicions that both Kirk and his mother had something to do with that miraculous turn of events, and having met McCoy, he knew damn well that he had played a very large role in seeing to it that he left Med Bay as fully functioning as possible.

Thanks to their combined forces, he now sat in the Captain's chair of the Enterprise, which was blessedly familiar to him despite the short hours of his previous occupancy. While he was decisively not pleased at the attempt on McCoy's life, he did enjoy having temporary control of the ship while Jim was guarding his consort. Jim's reaction was an overly sentimental one, but seeing as it was that same sentimentality that saved his ass from a pissed off Romulan who meant to destroy the planet recently, he was not inclined to reprimand Jim for it. And really the reaction of the crew as he walked the halls of the ship was priceless. The members of the Starfleet elite respected him, but they had ceased to express their blind terror of him long ago.

He walked onto the bridge at the start of alpha shift and sat in the command chair, silently daring anyone to challenge him. After a moment in which he met and held the eyes of each member of the bridge crew, he turned to Uhura. "Lt. Uhura, a pleasure to work with you again. Dr. McCoy was injured last night, and Captain Kirk will be insuring his speedy recovery in Med Bay until further notice."

The look of distaste on her face at the announcement that McCoy had been injured confirmed Jim's assertion that she was not involved with the attempt. That didn't mean, however, that her knowledge of the ship's relationships and occurrences couldn't be used to catch the poisoner. He'd learned very early on in his career that communications officers were valuable tools, and dangerous enemies.

"Until such time as he is able to resume command of this vessel, I am assuming command as ranking officer aboard this ship." At that moment the bridge when from respectfully subdued to painfully silent and he was fairly certain that he saw Sulu wince in his peripheral vision. "I'm certain none of this surprises you, as you likely knew of the attack on Dr. McCoy as soon as he was admitted to Med Bay. Because of your rather intimate knowledge of the relationships and interactions on board, you are to consult with Lady Winona, who should be arriving just about now."

And as if by magic, Lady Winona appeared on the bridge just as he finished his pronouncement. If the crew had been surprised to see him on the bridge, they were downright shocked to see the Lady standing before them in a regulation Starfleet uniform. Her hair was pulled back severely, and the look on her face promised a painful death to whoever had hurt her son via his consort. With a great deal of confusion the perfunctory salute due to the retired officer was given, and he noticed that all of them seemed confused as to why the Lady was dressed as if expecting a fight.

"For the duration of this investigation, Lady Winona has been recalled to active duty in service of the Empire. Her sole charge is discovering those guilty of conspiracy to assassinate the CMO of this vessel, as well as any attempts on the commander of said vessel. Given her vested interest in this particular case, I believe that you will find her to be quite through. I expect your full cooperation with any and all request that she may have of you during her inquiry. Failure to comply will be handled at my discretion."

He looked over at Spock who stood with a perfectly neutral expression as if he were awaiting information that he wasn't already aware of. "Commander Spock, you will be continuing your end of the investigation, you are to report directly to me." He looked around at the bridge crew, and watched them squirm under the force of his command presence which was markedly different from Kirk's.

"Does anyone have any questions about your orders?" At the chorus of 'no, admiral' he smirked. "Well then, get to work. The faster you catch the son of a bitch that tried to remove the good doctor, the faster you get your Captain back. Until then you're stuck with me, and rest assured every rumor you've ever heard about me has been true."

Med Bay 0900

"Damn it Christine, I do not need my pillow fluffed, my vitals taken, or my gown changed. I need you to get me some real clothes, so that I can get the hell out of this bed. You know damn well that my being here has nothing to do with my well being and everything to do with M'Benga wanting to savor being in charge for a few more hours." Chapel merely stood there looking at him nonplussed by the bluster and vitriol, she smiled at him slightly, and shook her head.

McCoy glared up at the reluctant nurse and wished for a moment that he commanded the kind of respect that Kirk did. Then he remembered that said respect was bought and paid for in bloodshed and resigned himself to the fact that his nurse may respect him, but she knew him too well to ever fear him. Which meant he would sprout wings and fly before she'd let him sign out against medical advice, even if the medical advice were bullshit. As he sighed Kirk walked in, and waved Chapel away.

He stood by McCoy's bed and studied the doctor's face carefully. His color was improved and by the sound of his complaints which Jim could hear as soon as he set foot in Med Bay, he seemed to be recovering spectacularly. "So how are you really feeling?" He saw McCoy open his mouth and interrupted him with a warning. "And don't you dare lie to me."

McCoy swallowed whatever he had been about to say and instead sighed and met Kirk's eyes. "As I keep telling everyone, all I need at this point is rest. Which I can get without taking up space in Med Bay, all the while being poked and prodded by people who know just as well as I do that it's not needed."

Kirk looked at him seemingly trying to assess the truth of his answer, due in no small part to the fact that he knew that McCoy was self depreciating enough to risk his own health to keep M'Benga from being in charge of his Med Bay for longer than he believed absolutely necessary. "So you'd be fine in our quarters? And all you need is rest?"

"Honestly, all I need is a good night's sleep, and I'll be ready for alpha shift tomorrow." McCoy looked up at him hope shining from his eyes, and Kirk could feel how badly he wanted to be back on shift tomorrow.

Kirk shook his head resolutely. "I don't think so. You're on medical leave for the next seventh-two hours, which you will be spending in our quarters recuperating."

McCoy rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Let me guess, M'Benga's idea? Wants another few days of power before I bust his ass back to Ensign for pulling this shit?"

"Actually, it's my order Bones. You don't go back on active duty until the person who did this has been dealt with. Med Bay is too exposed, I can't protect you well enough here."

"Well if I can't do my job, because some psycho has decided that I'd be more pleasing six feet under, what pray tell am I supposed to do?" McCoy regretted the tone of the protest as soon as it left his mouth and he got a good look at Kirk's face.

"You, McCoy, are going to do exactly as I tell you to. You are going to recover in our quarters until such time as the person who tried to kill you is captured. Once that has happened, and you've gotten a clean bill of health, then and only then do you come back to work. Do you understand me?"

McCoy wasn't sure if it was the tone of voice, or the fierce expression on Kirk's face. But he quickly realized that Jim had left the building and he was most certainly dealing with the Captain. He met the man's eyes, and wisely decided that resistance was futile. Kirk stared down at him face impassive and his tone of voice was pointed as he prompted McCoy. "I asked you a question McCoy. Do you understand the orders that I've given you?"

McCoy resisted the urge to shudder at the cold tone, and found himself longing for the warmth that normally emanated from Kirk when he was dealing with him. In a moment of desperation McCoy remembered Gaila's advice. Agree to whatever the Captain wants, that will get you back to Jim and away from scary bad ass Captain Kirk. He swallowed down his panic before answering. "Yes, sir, I understand." He nodded, and saw that Kirk did seem to soften almost imperceptibly.

"And might I assume that you're planning on following the orders that I just gave you?"

McCoy nodded again. "Yes sir, I'll follow your orders." Kirk gave him a smile then, and it seemed that the specter of the Captain had fled for the moment.

"Well then let's get you dressed, wouldn't do to have you roaming the halls with your ass hanging out of the back of this now would it." Kirk indicated the mutually hated gown, and helped McCoy sit. The facial expression was still distant, but the hands on him were as gentle as always as he helped McCoy put on a ridiculously soft sweater and pants. He batted McCoy's hands away as he moved to bend down for his shoes, and made quick work of those as well.

Kirk stood and placed a hand on his shoulder looking at him piercingly. "Are you sure you're ok to leave Med Bay?"

"Yes, I'm sure. They can't do anything else for me, and if M'Benga takes another 'baseline' reading I'm going to punch him. I'll be fine with a little bit more recovery time."

Kirk nodded. "Alright, do you think you can make it to our quarters?"

"Might have to lean on you a bit, but yes, I should be fine."

Kirk smiled slightly at that. "Well then, let's get you home." He helped McCoy stand, and waited for him to be steady on his feet. Then he slid an arm around his waist and proceeded to start the trip to their quarters.

McCoy heard M'Benga yelling for the two of them to stop as they exited Med Bay. He looked over at Kirk. "Did you just break me out of Med Bay?"

Kirk smiled and shrugged slightly. "He told me you needed complete bed rest in Med Bay for at least a week. You told me that you were fine. So I split the difference and figured three days in our quarters was a reasonable compromise."

"Well when you put it that way, I guess three days doesn't sound so bad." Before he could say more he stumbled causing him to fall more heavily against Kirk. He idly wondered how precisely Kirk had managed to clear this stretch of hallway during the process of hauling McCoy back to their quarters. But he figured that it made sense, as Kirk wouldn't want to be seen while being affected by McCoy's poisoning, nor would he wish for any of his enemies to see his consort in such a weakened state.

"Easy now, I've got you. We're almost there, just a little while longer. Won't be long till you're snuggled down all warm and safe in bed." Kirk kept up the soft encouraging chatter until he reached the door of their quarters and then he allowed McCoy to lean against the door jamb while he entered in the code. Kirk helped McCoy the last few steps into their quarters and sat him on the bed letting his eyes flicker over McCoy from head to toe as he sat wobbly on the side of the bed.

"Are you alright? You're not looking so good." Kirk frowned noting the beads of sweat on McCoy's brow, and the apparent dizziness by the way that McCoy seemed to be swaying slightly on the bed.

"Not my fault, they moved our quarters while I was in Med Bay. Bet the green blooded hobgoblin did it just to spite me." McCoy grumbled, but Kirk could tell from the subdued tone that he was fading.

"Never mind that, you get horizontal. I brought you here to rest, not bitch about Spock. Now behave or it's right back to Med Bay with you." Kirk threatened, feeling the slightest bit apprehensive in his decision to return McCoy to their quarters against M'Benga's advice.

"I told you, I'm fine." McCoy growled.

Kirk driven to the edge of his patience by his lack of sleep, combined with his worry over McCoy's health and well being, and his anger at the attempt to take from him that which was precious to him snapped. "Well forgive me for being a little perturbed by the fact that someone tried to kill you. I'll try to be a bigger bastard and act like I don't give a damn that someone damn near killed you."

"Well, it's not like I'm thrilled about it myself, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm fine. They did try, but they failed. I'm alright." McCoy meant these words to calm Kirk's anxieties, however until the culprit had been captured and disciplined to Kirk's satisfaction he doubted that Kirk's mood would improve.

"The fact that I had to half carry you here from Med Bay says differently, now to bed with you, and if I hear one more complaint so help me god, I'll tie you to this bed." Jim looked at him pointedly as if to say, and why precisely are you not on your back already, I told you to rest damn it.

"Thought I was supposed to rest not play kinky sex games with the Captain." McCoy spat drily.

Kirk didn't rise to the bait as he'd hoped, merely shaking his head. "No, you're supposed to rest so that you can play kinky sex games with the Captain later, much later if the way you're looking at the moment is any indication." Kirk mentally added this to the list of reasons that whoever had done this was going to suffer before he put them out an airlock.

"You know it's not like you're one to talk about getting enough rest, you had what maybe a catnap the whole time I was in Med Bay?"

Kirk sighed and folded his arms over his chest looking at McCoy as one would a recalcitrant child. "Alright, in the effort to speed up your recovery, I'll make you a deal. I'll lie down with you, if you promise me that you'll sleep and rest until you're well. Will you do that?"

McCoy nodded, and after a quick shedding of shoes and uncomfortable layers of clothing, Kirk lay on the bed beside McCoy pulling him into his arms and cradling him gently, as if he were afraid that the man would shatter if he held him too tightly. Resting his chin on McCoy's head, which was pillowed on Kirk's chest, he sighed. "It's alright. You're safe now, and no one's going to hurt you. I'll protect you I promise." Kirk kept whispering these words long after McCoy had fallen asleep, and his promises of protection trailed off only when he too succumbed to slumber.

AN: Ok guys, I swear that this story has a mind of its own. Kirk wanted McCoy home in their quarters where he could worry and cuddle him, Winona wanted part of the ass kicking that was to come, and Pike was like 'Oh pick me, pick me for temporary Captain. It's been so long since I've had a whole ship fucking terrified of me, please I'll get you something nice like Carol Marcus' head in a box'. And really who am I to argue with Christopher 'Killer of Those Who Sneeze On Tuesdays' Pike?

So in the future take the next chapter previews as what will happen if the characters don't highjack Teris and take her somewhere completely different.

Next Chapter: Uhura and Winona search for the would be assassin. Kirk and McCoy sweetness. Pike being generally one scary mother fucker.

A note on the origin of Dark Kirk: I've received multiple questions from people asking where I got the idea of Dark Kirk. One of the most stellar episodes of the original series (in my opinion at least) was the second season episode Mirror, Mirror. In this episode part of the Enterprise crew is transported to an alternate timeline in which the Federation is instead the Empire, and are bad asses that conquer alien worlds instead of getting things done through peaceful means. Everything about this world is different from the one that our characters know, and it is a very dark place.

This story brings that universe into the new film universe with a younger Captain Kirk, and surviving Captain Pike. If you haven't watched the original episode, it's available on YouTube, and you'd be gifting yourself with an hour or so of pure awesome. The particular history from Mirror Verse cannon that I have Spock Prime coming in with is from one of the book series I believe. In which Spock ousts Kirk from being Emperor, and tries to be a nice guy but fails, because once the Empire weakens their enemies take them over and enslave both Humans and Vulcans.

As always thank you for reading. Let me know if you liked it, please.


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy's in Med Bay, Pike's on the Bridge, and what is Lady Winona up to?

Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good. I mean really do you really think I can get more gruesome that what I did to Ethan? Kirk is rather annoyed at the moment, but the results for the prisoner are still up in the air.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

ISS Enterprise

Captain's Quarters 1600

It took McCoy a minute to realize what had woken him, in that minute Kirk was still and silent, before shuddering violently on the bed and muttering. The words were at first indecipherable, but as McCoy strained he could make out a few words. "Bones, no…don't-hurt…no, please. I promised—mine—no don't." As the sentence went on Kirk's voice became louder and more panicked.

It seemed that in dreams even the irascible Captain Kirk was vulnerable to the terrors that plagued lesser minds in their waking hours. McCoy reached over and touched Kirk's shoulder which only caused the man to twist away roughly. He sighed and grabbed him again more firmly, then gave him a solid shake. "Jim, wake up. It's just a dream, wake up." It took a few more shakes, but finally after what seemed like an eternity Kirk's eyes opened landing blearily on McCoy.

His arms instantly circled McCoy hands running over him searching for wounds or damage, and reassuring himself of McCoy's safety and realism. Finally still panting from the nightmare, he sank back onto the bed pulling McCoy along with him holding him tightly. "Are you alright?" McCoy's soft question prompted Kirk to meet his eyes and the arms wrapped around him loosened just enough that he could breathe properly.

"I'm fine. Of course I would be better if certain people didn't make themselves such an easy target. Now granted I should have anticipated that people would try to take a shot at you, but really McCoy, a poisoned drink? You've been in Starfleet how long?"

"Like I said, no one's ever thought I was important enough to try to kill me, and the handful that might have been tempted over the years were too scared of you to try it. Since that's changed I'll be more careful from now on."

"See that you do, otherwise you're going to end up with a food taster." Kirk looked up at him and cupped his cheek, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He seemed much calmer when he opened his eyes, and the hand trailed down McCoy's neck resting over his pulse point before trailing around to play in his hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Still a little sore, and weaker than I'd like, but much better than I was." The arm around McCoy waist tightened at this momentarily, before Kirk pulled back from McCoy allowing his fingers to trail up and down McCoy's spine tracing what felt like Romulan hieroglyphics on McCoy's back. Kirk smiled when he shuddered under the tickling touch.

"What am I going to do with you McCoy? Make no mistake that compassion of yours is fascinating, but it doesn't do either of us any good if it gets you killed." Kirk's eyes bore an expression of what McCoy almost termed as sadness, before dismissing it a preposterous. Kirk obviously resented the fact that a member of his crew had sought to attack him through McCoy, and the headaches that was going to cause. Surely it was no more than that.

At that moment a communicator chimed, indicating that someone needed to speak with the Captain, and he sighed before shifting McCoy to a comfortable position and then reluctantly rising. He slid on his command tunic, and pressed a soft kiss to McCoy's forehead letting the hand that cupped his cheek linger just a moment longer that could be reasonably justified. He pulled the covers up around McCoy shielding him from sight, and then straightened. "Rest, you're safe here, I'll be right back."

As much as McCoy wanted to protest, and wanted to fight it he felt sleep creeping upon him steadily as Kirk stepped away. He heard Kirk speaking softly to someone outside of their bedroom, and as Kirk's voice rose and fell just far enough away that McCoy couldn't discern the words McCoy's eyes drifted shut. He didn't know that Kirk had stationed trusted men at the entrance to their quarters with orders to kill anyone outside of the immediate family who tried to gain entrance. He didn't know that the door between Kirk's office and their bedroom remained cracked while Kirk made the arrangements that he needed to, so that he could keep McCoy in his line of sight. And if he felt the soft press of lips to his forehead and the gentle hand caressing his face, he'd at most think it an exhaustion induced dream.

Admirals Quarters 1630

Uhura had to admit, anyone who thought that Jim Kirk got his tenacity or his intensity from his father was a damned fool. Winona Kirk had picked her brain on every single person who might have any legitimate reason to handle foodstuffs intended for the Captain's quarters, and when those leads hadn't panned out she'd started in on members of the crew who might have any reason to have something against McCoy or Kirk. They had a list of suspects, staring with Yeoman Rand, and ending with the ensign that had attempted to knife Kirk at the breakfast table the previous week.

They had the most likely suspects, after all technically speaking no one on the ship was beyond suspicion. But they could pare down to a reasonable start. M'Benga was more likely to hold a grudge against McCoy or Kirk than an engineer that McCoy had patched up and Kirk had commended for good work for example. After a day's work the women had a list as long as Uhura's arm, and had managed to clear senior medical and bridge crew.

They'd cleared these by way of Vulcan mind meld, which was far more effective than truth serums. However, they could not efficiently used this method to clear all of the crew members, because as capable as Spock was he was still only one man, and it was inefficient on a large scale as with each meld the window of time grew that allowed the would be assassin to cover their tracks. At the moment Uhura was looking at the thickest pile of suspects, those whom she believed would have reason to seek to take McCoy's place as Kirk's consort.

In a rare moment of kindness, Winona had told her that she saw why Jim was so pleased to have her as his communications officer, and that Pike had been right, her skills were proving invaluable. Without Uhura, Winona would have had to rely on Kirk's reports as to who might be jealous of the good doctor. Kirk was Uhura admitted one of the better judges of character that she'd met in the fleet, but he wasn't infallible. She knew of at least a dozen crewmembers that wanted the man badly enough to scream and bleed for it, even though Kirk didn't even realize they were alive.

Uhura had been shocked at Winona's grasp of the group dynamics after having been aboard ship for such a short period of time, much of which she'd been saddled with Chekov as a blushing bodyguard. She also had to admit the sheer amount of knowledge that Winona held about alliances and connections throughout the Empire was frighteningly complete. She proved useful in removing those crewmembers whose family owed some allegiance to the Kirk's or their allies. This did not, of course, remove them from suspicion, it merely put them further down on the suspect list. As the day wore on Uhura found herself immensely grateful that Kirk had been amused by her insult, for she knew with an unerring certainty that she would not have survived an attack from this woman.

Currently Winona was looking through the files of the personnel that had signed on at the last space station. Her theory was that no one who had served under her son long would be this stupid, which Uhura had to admit was probably a very accurate statement. As Winona pulled up one of the files her eyes narrowed. This woman looked familiar, she should know this person. It had been a long day, but she recognized this girl, but she was out of place. Closing her eyes she thought back and finally remembered where she'd seen the girl before. It had been several years ago at an Empire function, and she'd danced several dances with Jim.

If that had been the whole of it, it wouldn't have been an issue. However, the girl had gotten it into her head that a couple of dances meant that she was to be the one who settled Jim down. If Winona recalled correctly the girl had made quite a nuisance of herself until Jim's shore leave was over. But surely Jim would have recognized her and kept an eye on her? Then her eyes flitted to the name at the top of the file. Same face, different name, and she'd only be aboard the ship for a week.

While they would still need to question her to prove it Winona was sure that she'd found the person who'd meant to kill McCoy. It was impressive that the girl had managed to accomplish so much in so short a time, and in some ways unfortunate that Kirk was most assuredly going to kill her for touching what was his. It was a great waste of potential, but then they taught you from the beginning of the academy that there was no room for sloppiness. If you were going to kill someone, then you'd best make sure that it couldn't be traced back to you, and that you got it right the first time.

Then Winona supposed that the girl had known she was on a tight time table, while Kirk might not have recognized the changed name, it was only a matter of time before he either ran into her, or reviewed the files of the new crew members. He like most other Captains didn't bother learning the names, histories, and alliances of newly enlisted crew members until they'd survived the first month in the fleet. Kirk like most good Captains made an exception for those who were known to have an association to a patron that was a rival to the Captain in question. Those were typically flagged, but save that new crew members were considered on probation for the first month. After all it wasn't unusual for people to be killed before they'd earned their first month's pay, and a captain's time was valuable.

She turned to Uhura who looked up when Winona cleared her throat. "Tell me Lt. Uhura, what do you know about this crew member?"

Interrogation 1730

Pike's lips quirked up into a grin as he heard the prisoner arriving. She was cursing everyone under the sun, and judging from the way that Cupcake was limping the little spit fire must have gotten in at least one good hit somewhere that counted. As Cupcake and Uhura entered with the prisoner between them she pulled free and tried to run for it. To his surprise, it was Uhura that recaptured her, grabbing her by her long dark hair, and slamming her to the ground at Pike's feet.

"There is no need to run, you'll only die tired. We'll be getting to know each other very intimately over the next few days. Why don't you come in and get uncomfortable. The sooner you tell me what I want to know, the sooner I let Kirk know who and where you are. Of course, by the time I tell Kirk what you've been up to, you'll probably be begging him to kill you." He made a gesture towards the chains hanging from the ceiling, and Cupcake wisely interpreted that to mean please tie this bitch up so we can get started with this.

After the shackles had been fitted around her wrists, he hit a switch that pulled her up to the point that she was suspended on her tiptoes. She had to fight even for that, leaving her without the ability to gain leverage to kick, or the ability to relieve the pressure on her shoulders. Pike walked over casually, with his knife tapping lazily against his thigh. He ran the back of his fingers across her cheek, and down her jaw, tisking as he went. "Such a pretty girl, such a shame that you did something so stupid."

She spat at him and he smiled, as he wiped the spittle from his face. How she didn't expect the backhand in retaliation, he'd never know, but he could tell that she was unused to discipline when her eyes widened as he backhanded her. "As I thought, not only are you stupid, you're used to men forgiving anything you've done because you're beautiful. You'll find that I'm very unforgiving, unless you're prepared to be very, very convincing."

Cupcake leered in the corner, obviously expecting that something interesting was about to happen. "I think you're a bit overdressed for this conversation Ensign." He brought his knife up and allowed it to trail down from her neck down to the center of her uniform. The knife parted the material easily, and she shivered as he trailed the blade up allowing it to push the uniform over her breast. He only felt a mild stirring as her nipple pebbled in the cold of air of the interrogation room, but he felt his pulse quicken at her gasp as the razor sharp tip of his knife traced over her nipple pricking her lightly as he trailed it up to her shoulder. A flick of the blade clipped through her shoulder strap, and he repeated the action on the other side.

He stepped back taking in the sight of her heaving chest, and her hate filled eyes. He let the flat of his blade rest against his jaw while he looked at her consideringly, tapping it lightly as he spoke. "Well now, let's just see what we need to do for you to sing for me." He felt a glimmer of pride as she shuddered at his pronouncement and a thrill shot through him as he saw the trails of blood staining the pale pristine skin of her breasts.

His skills with a knife were legendary. He could flay her, tear her skin off inch by inch, and still have her alive when he was finished. Then again he could use the techniques he'd picked up on any number of worlds. However, there was nothing like complete loss of all control to shame one such as this. Shame would be a powerful weapon in any tact that he choose, because unlike Kirk or even McCoy this slip of a girl didn't have the strength to keep her pride despite the debasement he would level at her. Before he would see her dead, he would see her brought down to nothing. "Cupcake, go fetch me my tools. I believe it's time to show our guest what happens to bad little girls."

AN: Yes I'm horrible, you'll find out who she is in the next chapter. I'm curious to see if anyone can guess the mystery girl's name. I'll give you one more hint, she featured in the Original Series (aka not an original character on my part). As always let me know if you liked it. Work's been hectic lately, so hearing from you really makes my day.

Next Chapter: Pike gets happy with the torture, and Kirk and McCoy have some relatively tender 'you almost died you idiot, don't ever scare me like that again' make up sex.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy's in Med Bay, Pike's on the Bridge, and what is Lady Winona up to?

Content Warning: The forecast ahead is dark folks. Those readers who find rape or threats of rape triggering or bothersome would do well to avoid the interrogation bit and skip down to the section where McCoy and Kirk have some fluffy happy times.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

ISS Enterprise

Interrogation 1730

Pike smiled as Cupcake brought him a small box, and pulled up an instrument table so that he could begin his work. If he knew Uhura half as well as he thought he did, he'd need to play this up, because he most certainly had an audience by this point. "Now Janice, let's make something clear from the get go. You tried to kill McCoy. You know that and I know that. I don't particularly care why, and I know that you're not working alone. Because as good as you are, you couldn't have gotten poisoned bourbon into the Captain's quarters without some help."

He pointed to a set of platforms which Cupcake moved into position as he'd been instructed before the girl had even been brought into the room. Her legs were now chained far apart enough that she was bowlegged as one would expect of someone riding a horse, and they were secured so that she couldn't kick at her tormenters. "My problem in all this is that you're not going to tell me the truth, and if I torture you enough you'll start randomly accusing people just so that the pain will stop. That doesn't help me. So here's how things are going to go."

He ran the tip of his knife up along the sensitive skin of her inner thigh causing her to shiver, and when he reached the juncture of her thighs he slapped her mons with the flat of his blade, making her flinch. "I am going to have our Vulcan friend rip from your mind the information that I need. Then I am going to play with you until you wish you were dead. And after you wish for it for a very long time, and scream and beg for me enough, then I might let you die."

He traced his fingers up the same path that the knife had just taken, and instead of slapping her he slid two of his fingers inside of her, noting that she winced at the rough intrusion, and her face colored with indignation. "Tighter than I'd have expected of a whore like you, seems you were willing to kill to take McCoy's place, but weren't willing to part these pretty thighs for anyone in quite some time." He tisked as he reached up and stroked her cheek, then slapped her hard enough to leave a mark. "Such a pity, would have made some of what I've planned for you a lot easier if you'd been more of a slut."

He brushed his thumb over her clit a few times causing it to swell, then he pricked the hardened flesh much as he had her nipples earlier. He stepped back and surveyed his handy work, before he opened the box and removed a writhing creature with a pair of tweezers. He held it up to her face, and noted the widening of her eyes and the quickening of her breath.

"I bet you've never seen one of these before. This little fellow is a Sarurailian leech. It loves the taste of human blood, but it causes an odd reaction in its prey. The area surrounding where the leech attaches is oversensitized. That part is fairly normal, after all no one expects blood being forcibly extracted from small bite wounds to be comfortable, now do they?" He paused and watched with satisfaction the slight widening of her eyes and the hitch in her breathing as the creature writhed seeking the sustenance that it could so easily smell.

"The unusual aspect of this particular creature is that its saliva causes a strange reaction. Insatiable sexual appetite, in the case of a female like yourself, it basically puts you into a stage of heat. But the beauty of this little bug, it also inhibits the pleasure centers of your brain. So the things that it causes you to crave, those things that normally feel so very, very good, instead are insanely frustrating. You will accept anything any one offers you. You will beg and scream and cry for it, your world will be reduced to the quest for satisfaction of your most primal urges. And unless I stop you, you will literally fuck yourself to death, seeking a climax that will never come."

He reached up and pinched her nipple and flicked the wound he'd caused earlier with his fingernail causing the forming scab to fall away, and the blood to once again flow. "This little fellow looks hungry, and I'm in the mood to see how you fair against the whims of the crew of this ship. I know for a fact that Scotty and Cupcake here have a bet going as to which one of them will make you scream louder while they fuck that tight little ass of yours."

He set the leech on her breast and watched as it crawled towards her nipple and the ready supply of blood. He repeated this process for the other nipple, and for her clit. Then he stepped back and waited for the toxins to begin making their way through her body. Before they had taken full effect he held her chin between his fingers and whispered in her ear. "And you know the best part Janice? You're going to remember the shame of all the things that you'll do, the pain, the degradation, the guilt you'll feel at begging like a cheap whore. All of those will stay with you long after the drug wears off. And I intend to make certain that you live to feel the shame of it for a very, very long time."

With that Pike stepped back, and with a sharp nod to Spock stepped back. He watched as Janice tried futilely to fight off the violent intrusions in her mind, and smirked when in mere minutes Spock stepped away and wiped his fingers off on the pants of his uniform. "I take it you have the information we require Mr. Spock."

Spock gave a nod. "Yes sir. She enlisted the help of one of the security officers that McCoy had reprimanded in the past for excessive brutality in interrogations. He helped her gain access to McCoy's bourbon before it ever reached the Captain's quarters."

"Well then, I'll leave it to you to see to the apprehension of the others involved."

Spock turned to go, but then paused and turned back to Pike. "Sir, if I may pose a query?" Pike nodded. While questions that were ill thought out annoyed him, those raised by Kirk's first officer were always articulate and understandable needs for clarification. "This woman attempted to kill McCoy, not to take his place, as she has already had a liaison with the Captain. Instead she sought only to cause the Captain pain. It is illogical to risk one's life when there is so little to gain."

Pike shook his head and chuckled. "So much time spent among humans Mr. Spock, and still you have not learned that we are illogical? When we hate intensely enough, we will undertake enormous risks to ourselves, for the momentary satisfaction of seeing our opponent in pain. Moreover it is highly unlikely that she believed that she'd be caught is it not?"

"She believed that she would be able to escape via the crew transfer we have scheduled at Station Epsilon Seven."

"And another of humanity's sins rears its head, hubris. She believed the risk of capture to be small, and the harm to that which she hated to be profound. Therefore, she was doomed almost before she had begun." Spock continued looking at the Admiral as Janice began screaming as the drug took effect. He saw a minute smile cross the man's face, and realized that there were other illogical emotions at play aside from those that Pike had mentioned. But given that he found the outcome of the Admiral's affection for his Captain amenable, he did not dwell on the illogical nature of the emotion extensively.

Captain's Quarters 1000

When McCoy next awoke it was amidst the feel of gentle caresses and the warmth of Kirk's breath, hands, and mouth. When he stirred, he was met with a kiss, in which Kirk explored his mouth with a pleasant lassitude. Before this kiss could grow too heated Kirk pulled away and cupped McCoy's cheek gently, smiling softly as his free hand continued to stroke and caress. "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

McCoy took a moment to consider, knowing that if he snapped off an answer of 'fine, now let me go back to my damn Medbay and stop mollycoddling me' Kirk would be less than pleased. And it was too early to deal with pissed off Kirk. He needed coffee first at the very least. "I'm much better. I told you a good night's rest and I'd be fine."

"Mh, and I told you that you're not going back to work for at least three days. If you're good I'll let you have some physical therapy later. For the moment, the game plan is meds, food, and a shower. But I'll be nice and let you pick the order."

"Well aren't you accommodating this morning?" McCoy asked dryly.

"What can I say, I'm always willing to acquiesce to any reasonable request that my consort happens to make." The timber of Kirk's voice deepened as the word reasonable rolled off his lips and McCoy resisted the urge to shiver as it sent a tingle down his spine. The raised eyebrow left McCoy with no doubt as to what could be considered reasonable requests, all of them of a distinctly adult nature. "So what do you want to do first?"

"If I smell anywhere near as grungy as I feel, I'm surprised that you're giving me a choice."

"Shower it is then." Kirk rolled to his feet fluidly and extended an arm to McCoy and easily pulled him to his feet. With his arm around McCoy's waist he helped guide him to the bathroom and leaving McCoy leaning against the counter and grabbed their toiletries and towels. Then he opened the shower door and guided McCoy under the spray.

McCoy noticed that Kirk's hands didn't wander as they normally did while they stood under the water, instead they were gentle and lingered over his sore spots. Kirk's gaze was sharp and assessed McCoy's reaction to every touch. His fingers traced over McCoy's ribs and McCoy found himself almost disturbed by the lack of sexuality in Kirk's caresses. Lust he could understand, possession he could process, but these seemed be an indication of something much deeper and it unnerved him.

Kirk made quick work of washing McCoy, seeing as he was foregoing the typically lengthy teasing and explorations McCoy was so accustomed to whenever Kirk joined him in the shower. McCoy was grateful for the surprising lack of extracurricular exploration when he noticed that his eyes were already starting to get heavy as Kirk's fingers massaged his scalp as he rinsed the shampoo from his hair. He allowed himself to lean into Kirk as he gently toweled him off and led him back to the bed. As he was laid back on the bed McCoy pondered how Kirk had gotten the sheets changed in the short time that they had been gone.

As Kirk stepped away McCoy drifted and had almost fallen back to sleep when he felt the bed sink beneath Kirk's weight. "Sorry Rip Van Winkle, you'll have to wait a bit for your nap. Food and meds first, then you can sleep the rest of the day if you need to." He helped McCoy lean on the pillow stacked headboard, and walked over to the replicator and returned with a breakfast tray.

Off to the side of the tray were a handful of pills that McCoy looked at askance. "What are those?"

"The meds M'Benga prescribed."

"More specifically what are they?" McCoy listened carefully while Kirk listed off a handful of drugs and shook his head as Kirk listed the last one. "Leave off that last one. The first three make sense, they'll help counter the organ damage, and reregulate endocrine systems. The last one will only prolong the weakness and the fatigue."

McCoy noted that Kirk's jaw began to twitch as his hands tightened on the tray that he was holding. "Might there be any medically valid reason that M'Benga would have given you that?"

McCoy thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. "Aside from the fact that it'd give him a few more days in charge of Med Bay, not really. On the flip side, it's a mild sedative. In that particular combination of drugs and in treatment for poisoning it wouldn't cause any harm either."

"So all it would do is make you sleepy? No possibilities for adverse side effects?" Kirk raised his eyebrows.

"No, it's perfectly safe. I've prescribed it hundreds of times. He wasn't trying to hurt me, just keep me out of Med Bay for another couple of days because he knows it's the only way that he'll ever be in charge."

"Doesn't change the fact that I'll be having a conversation expressing my displeasure once you're back on your feet." Kirk's eyes had gone frigid and McCoy resisted the urge to speak in smaller sentences to break through the wall of testosterone.

"You don't need to do that. He's only doing what a Starfleet officer is supposed to do when they see an exploitable weakness in their superior officer."

Kirk looked at him incredulously, trying to reconcile McCoy's casual dismissal with his own reaction, which was to go down to Med Bay and rip M'Benga's spine out. "How precisely can you be so calm about someone drugging you?"

"Because if he'd wanted to kill me or injure me badly enough to be useless as your CMO he had plenty of opportunities. Instead he slips me a relatively harmless drug, so that he can enjoy the thrill of being in charge a few more days. I'll handle it when I walk into Med Bay in three days instead of a week. He's a passable doctor, and I've no one to replace him with should you kill him or render him useless."

"So I won't kill him. And I won't do any lasting harm. Can I at least scare the hell out of him? Or am I not allowed to terrorize my own crew members now?" Kirk raised an eyebrow and looked at him pointedly.

"Terrorize yes. But killing one of the only other doctors on ship without a replacement at the ready would be detrimental to the orders that you gave me that I not work insane hours. I'll let you know if he needs to be removed alright. He's a crewman under my command. I can handle his punishment for what is a minor infraction. Or did I lose that particular part of my duties when I took up residence in your bed?"

Kirk looked at him coolly for a moment and then he sighed. "Alright, but so help me if you need me to handle it and don't tell me, I'll make the last punishment that I gave you look like a walk on the park on a pleasant spring day. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal. Now since you won't let me sleep, how about handing over the good meds and something to wash them down with?"

"Coffee? Or are you going to be sickeningly healthy again and insist on juice?"

McCoy barely resisted rolling his eyes as Kirk reawakened an argument that the two had been having since they started the academy. Truthfully when he thought about it, he was surprised that Kirk had taken his grousing over his diet as well as he had. Given that the man was damn near as alpha male as a man could get without going feral, he would have expected a more violent reaction to his repeated critiques on his diet. "As I eat my fruits and vegetables unlike some people I could name, coffee's fine, thank you."

Kirk poured two cups of coffee, leaving McCoy's black and mixing his with sugar and milk. He brought the cups back over, handed McCoy his cup and pills, and then sat on the bed beside him again. He watched McCoy over the rim of his coffee cup, and after the pills were swallowed he picked up a napkin and put it around McCoy's neck. "Hungry?"

McCoy shrugged as his appetite hadn't quite returned. "Well we'll have to see if I can't tempt you then, because like it or not you have to eat." Kirk pulled off the cover of the breakfast tray. McCoy despite having been ambivalent, found his mouth watering at the smell of homemade French toast. Kirk grabbed a fork and speared a bite of the toast and dunked it in syrup. "Open up." At the raised eyebrow and clear expectation that he would obey, McCoy complied allowing Kirk to feed him.

He had to admit that Kirk had a point. Between the coffee, the food and the discontinuation of the drugs that made him weaker than he should have been, he was feeling much more alert and less like a walking zombie. Kirk allowed him to eat his fill and refilled his coffee for him, and surprised him by downing a glass of orange juice, which he raised to McCoy with a nod. "Nice to see I'm not talking to a brick wall."

Kirk shrugged. "What can I say Bones, I intend on living a long healthy life, if for no other reason than to annoy my enemies."

"Then why pray tell, do you give me such a damned hard time when I suggest that you needed to take better care of yourself?" The comment was out of McCoy's mouth before he could think to censor it, and for the moment they were simply doctor and patient without the fucked up power dynamic that McCoy so often found himself in these days.

Kirk smiled and shrugged. "It's fun hearing you bitch at me. Used to be that half the time annoying the hell out of you was the only way to get you to talk to me at all." He looked McCoy up and down with a satisfied expression. "Of course now I have better ways to get your attention." He trailed his fingers down McCoy's sides lightly tickling him. "Shame though. You're hot when you're pissed off." Kirk looked almost a little wistful about the fact that he'd given up his secret, and couldn't use it to needle McCoy anymore.

"Not quite what I was going for I assure you." McCoy scowled.

"Seriously, your accent gets thicker, you come up with the most fascinating insults, and I end up wanting to back you into a wall and fuck you till you can't walk straight." Kirk smiled, obviously enjoying the mental images that the memory of McCoy's legendary tirades invoked.

"You're aware that's all manner of fucked up right?"

Kirk merely shrugged at the accusation, as if to say and this surprises you in what way? "Lucky for your blood pressure I like that little gasping sound you make right before you come even better than the growling one I get when I piss you off."

McCoy flushed, and glowered darkly. "I do not growl."

"Well I could piss you off at the moment to prove it, but you're still recovering. So I think we're gonna have to wait on the fighting and make up sex. But I think we should be ok for a round of I'm happy that the psycho bitch that tried to kill you failed sex. Along with some if you ever do something stupid like that again you won't sit down comfortably for a week foreplay. Sound ok in your medical opinion?"

"Mh, not so sure about the not sitting comfortably for a week part, but the sex shouldn't pose a problem." McCoy couldn't believe that he'd just given Kirk medical permission to fuck him. He could have lied and Kirk wouldn't have pushed it, given that he trusted McCoy's medical opinions explicitly, and that he was in a bizarrely tentative mood. The caresses and touches that Kirk had graced him with since he'd woken had been either clinical or uncertain.

Perhaps he'd underestimated Kirk's attachment to him after all. Because Kirk certainly seemed to be reassuring himself that McCoy was unscathed at every possible turn. Partially due to that fact, and that as much as he hated himself for it sex with Kirk felt damn good, McCoy had just cleared himself for sex with the captain. Ah, well at least Kirk would be less likely to put half of the crew in the agonizer booth due to sexual frustration.

Kirk smiled and caressed McCoy's face gently before trailing his fingers down to lightly pluck McCoy's nipples making him gasp. "I swear McCoy, if I end up sitting at your bedside in Med Bay again, because of something like this I'm going to put you on a fucking leash." McCoy shuddered at the idea of being led around the ship on a leash and whimpered involuntarily as Kirk pinched his nipples and sucked a deep mark onto his neck. "I can't let you out of my sight now can I? I mean for the love of god who gets poisoned in their own quarters?"

McCoy found himself hardening despite the harsh words Kirk was speaking and felt his hips trying to rise up to seek contact with Kirk's hands. "I mean really what more do I need to do to prove that your mine to the idiots on this ship?" He allowed his hand to circle McCoy's cock, and allowed him to thrust up into Kirk's grasp. "Do you have any question who you belong to? I mean is it in anyway unclear?"

McCoy's breath hitched and he gasped as Kirk's fingers stroked the head of his cock, letting his fingers trail through the drops of fluid that had collected there. "No, no question." Kirk's lips quirked at the gasped exclamation, and he tilted McCoy's chin upwards and covered his mouth swallowing the gasps and moans and enjoying the sweet heat of his consorts mouth. He pulled away when McCoy was trembling from the sensations Kirk was causing, and panting for breath.

"Who do you belong to McCoy?" Kirk growled as he continued manipulating McCoy's cock.

"Yours, I'm yours." McCoy panted and Kirk pinched his consort's tender nipples and increased the speed with which he fisted McCoy's cock. Kirk smiled at McCoy's groans and gasps and trailed kisses up McCoy's jaw and up to his ear. His tongue traced the shell of McCoy's ear, and his warm breath made McCoy keen.

"Feel good sweetheart?"

McCoy grasped his lip in his teeth and threw his head back, arching up into Kirk's touch. "Uh huh."

"And you want to come for me don't you? I can tell you do. Come for me McCoy. Come for me right now." McCoy shuddered and then collapsed to the bed panting, watching limply as Kirk took the come that had coated his hand and started rubbing into McCoy's ass using it as a lubricant as he inserted his fingers stretching McCoy.

Tisking when McCoy's come was depleted before the man was loosened enough for his entrance to be comfortable for both of them, he reached over and grabbed some lubricant from the bedside table. He then drizzled the liquid over his fingers as they thrust into McCoy, then he flexed his fingers in the tight confines making McCoy gasp and groan in restored pleasure as Kirk's fingers brushed against his prostate.

Kirk reached down stroked his own cock, bringing it to its maximum length and firmness. Then he removed his fingers and readied himself at McCoy entrance. "Open your eyes for me." McCoy opened his eyes still cloudy from the pleasure that Kirk had just given him, but he met and held Kirk's eyes as ordered. "That's it, keep your eyes open for me." And Kirk held McCoy's eyes as he slowly entered him, enjoying the uncloaked emotions in McCoy's gaze.

He brought his hand up and tangled his fingers with McCoy's while the other hand pulled the man in close for a kiss. Never breaking eye contact with McCoy he set a slow, steady rhythm, which would have frustrated McCoy had he not just had an explosive release of his own. Since he had, however, he was able to enjoy the feel of Kirk's leisurely possession. He even allowed his free hand to wander along Kirk's back and grasp his hips as he approached his climax.

Kirk who had previously been loquacious as always during sex, had quieted and was exhibiting an intensity that McCoy typically only saw in a crisis or when he had been challenged for command. The laser sharp focus of the arctic blue eyes, and the strongly set jaw made McCoy's heart beat a little faster along with the staccato thrusts as Kirk reached his release. Kirk's free hand came up to caress his cheek, and he panted while resting his forehead on McCoy's. "Never again. Never, do you understand me?"

McCoy allowed his fingers to tangle in Kirk's hair, which he'd noticed had a calming effect on Kirk in most situations. "I'm alright. I'll be more careful, and I'm sure that after you and Pike are done with the poor bastard that was stupid enough to try this that no one else will dare to so much as sneeze in my vicinity."

Kirk chuckled and shook his head. "Particularly on Tuesdays."

"Did Pike really kill someone for sneezing on a Tuesday?"

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "He seems to like you well enough, and my mother would have his guts for garters if he laid a hand on you. Why don't you ask him?"

McCoy snorted. "Great, just what I need family bonding time with a murdering sociopath."

"Now that's a little harsh. He can be very good to the people cares about. Like I said he likes you, and beyond that he needs you. For the moment however, we're the only two people who are going to be bonding, if we don't get cleaned up before this mess dries." Kirk pressed a quick kiss to McCoy's forehead before gently pulling out and heading towards the bathroom.

By the time that he returned McCoy had already begun to drift into sleep. He felt gentle hands rubbing a damp cloth across his chest and stomach clearing away the rapidly cooling evidence of their encounter. Then the cloth fell to the side of the bed with a moist plop and he felt warmth at his back, and Kirk's strong arm pulling him back against his chest. Kirk pulled the covers up around them and allowed himself a deep inhale of McCoy's scent. Then placing a kiss on McCoy's neck, he found reassurance in the steady beat of McCoy's heart under his lips.

AN: Sorry it took so long for the update ya'll. When I said things were crazy at work, I meant 95 hour work week crazy. Additionally the content of this chapter was challenging to write. I abhor to the deepest level of my being the use of rape as an interrogation technique or punishment. But that is what would realistically happen in the Mirrorverese, as it is devastatingly effective. So as nasty as it was to write, the story won out.

Kudos to all of those who guessed the identity of the mystery murderess. You can find her in the last episode of season three of classic trek, Turnabout Intruder. It may be found in its entirety on everyone's favorite free video site, You Tube.

I do hope that I didn't traumatize anyone too badly. Let me know what you thought, and I'll do my best to get the next chapter out a lot faster.

Next Chapter: McCoy finds out just how Kirk and Gaila came to know each other. Kirk finds out what exactly is happening to Janice in interrogation. Winona finds out exactly what lengths Pike will go to in order to protect her family.


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy finds out just how Kirk and Gaila came to know each other. Kirk finds out what has been happening on the Enterprise while he's been attending to the good doctor. Winona and Pike are delightfully naughty.

Content Warning: The forecast ahead is dark folks. Those readers who find rape or threats of rape triggering or bothersome would do well to avoid the interrogation bit.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Interrogation 0230

Pike stood beside the observation window watching the results of his handy work. Chekov and Sulu stood beside him along with several other members of the crew who had come to watch Janice's punishment. Pike had allowed her to squirm for hours, arching and writhing, begging for relief.

He felt eyes resting heavily upon him, and turned to see Winona in the back of the room. She was dressed in the finery that he'd come to expect of her, and he took half a moment to lament the loss of her uniform. This disappointment was somewhat abated when he held out his hand and she stepped up to meet him by the glass. When she placed her hand in his, he fought the urge to smile.

"Alright people, the show's over for now. Give me the room. Lady Winona, a word if you please." She inclined her head and smiled slightly as the crew began to file out. When the last of the crewmembers filed out Pike ceased his resistance and graced her with a rare smile. "As lovely as you are in this, I vastly prefer you out of it."

He moved behind her, kissing the nape of her neck and her shoulders as his deft fingers laid her bare. She shuddered as he trailed his fingers down her spine. "Do you like your present?" She heard the unspoken statement in the question. _See what I can do for you? Do you understand what I'm willing to do to protect you? _ These words more than those which were spoken warmed her, and caused her to melt into his touch.

She'd told McCoy that there was a great thrill in being the obsession of a great man. She hadn't mentioned that there was a feeling of safety and security that accompanied it as well. As long as Pike wanted her, her family was safe. There was little that she wouldn't do to insure the continuation of that safety. Besides it wasn't as if snuggling up to Pike was a great sacrifice.

He began stroking her sex, allowing his fingers to dance through her damp curls. As she gasped and arched into his touch, he pressed the intercom. "Cupcake, I think it's time for Janice's riding lesson. Help her onto her horse."

Cupcake removed the platforms that he'd secured her feet to and allowed her to stretch her cramped legs, and place her tiptoes on the floor. He then walked over to a wooden support reminiscent of a sawhorse and placed it in front of her. The board at the top of the saw horse was planed thin, and rounded so that it wouldn't actually cut flesh. The bruising would be nasty certainly, but no flesh would be torn.

Her eyes widened at the sight of it and tried to clench her legs shut to prevent being placed upon it, only to moan as that placed pressure on her overly sensitized nether regions. Cupcake pried her legs apart, and slid the horse between her legs. He parted her folds with his fingers stroking her entrance and rubbing the hardened nub hidden there until she was twitching and moaning.

Then he held her lips apart and lowered her so that her feet were touching the floor, and all of her weight was resting on her sensitized sex. She immediately tried to lift herself off of the bar, and gasping managed to push herself from the source of her discomfort by rising up onto her tiptoes. She managed to hold herself aloft for a few moments, before her already weakened legs gave out, and she was forced to lower herself back onto the board. Her cry of pain was audible through the loud speaker, and as they watched the girl ride, Pike trust into Winona from behind, pressing her face against the glass.

While Janice writhed in pain, Winona contorted with pleasure underneath Pike's experienced touches. "Her screams are all for you my darling, as yours belong to me. Do you like watching the little bitch pant and scream? Do you like to hear her beg, all the while knowing that the only compassion I'll ever show her will be to let her die after the crew has fucked her past insanity?"

He continued touching her as he said this. He found that the wetness underneath his hand surged soaking his fingers, and that the heartbeat under his lips hammered as her moans of pleasure filled the air. "If you can't learn to be more appreciative of the gifts I give you, I'll just have to make you wait for them now won't I precious?"

Winona gasped as this statement was punctuated with a particularly sharp thrust, and a perfect pinch of her nipple that made her eyes roll back and temporarily robbed her of speech. "Thank you Chris. You're too good to me, she's lovely."

Pike smiled at the hitch in her voice, and the slight breathlessness. He ducked his head and placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. "That's my good girl." Winona trembled and shook under his soft touch and the affection in his voice. She thrust back against him, and allowed herself a groan of frustration at the delay. He pulsed inside her in response to her vocalizations, and soon she got exactly what she craved.

As Winona braced herself against the glass he continued to thrust into her, all the while manipulating the swollen peaks of her breasts and allowing his fingers to stroke the responsive nub between her legs. He shuddered as she leaned her head back and pressed her lips to his neck. She sucked and laved at his jaw, and he groaned.

He leaned down and covered her lips, swallowing the needy little gasps that she couldn't entirely contain. While focusing on the soft warmth of her mouth, he felt her clench and spasm around him. His lips quirked up in a self satisfied smirk as he felt her come apart around him, and he filled her with his own release. As she panted against the window, Janice's whimpers and groans reached his ears, causing a warm satisfaction in addition to the afterglow. It wasn't easy keeping Winona and Jim out of trouble, but there were certainly moments that made it worthwhile.

Captain's Quarters 1230

A chime pierced the darkness, and woke Kirk and McCoy from their slumber. Kirk growled as the chime sounded again. "Someone had better be dead." He grabbed his pants and phaser from the floor where he had dropped them. The chime sounded again, indicating that someone was rather insistent about having an audience with them right now. Kirk began swearing under his breath, and allowed himself to regret the removal of the guards from the door. Though it had made sense at the time, given that he had all the information about the people who had been involved in the murder plot, and they were currently in Pike's tender care.

McCoy began to rise, and Kirk couldn't help but wince at the noise his consort made as he moved. He really had to help McCoy practice the whole moving silently thing. What he saw as he reached the door caused him to forget the lesser irritations of being woken from his sleep, and his worries about his consort's lack of stealth. He opened the door and his arms were instantly filled with a sobbing flash of green.

Kirk wrapped his arms around Gaila and started speaking to her softly in what McCoy assumed to be Orion. He brought her into the room, and sat with her, crouching in front of her. Taking in her pale face and trembling form McCoy followed Kirk's lead grabbing his pants and a tricorder. As Kirk cuddled the frightened Orion, McCoy stood off to the side taking her vitals. "Gaila, sweetheart, you've got to tell me what's wrong. What's got you so upset?"

She spoke a few words of broken Orion, to which Kirk shook his head, then pressed his lips to her forehead, and cupped her cheek. "No, sweetheart, you don't have to be sorry. Not for this, you know that. You're not disturbing me. I told you to come to me if something bad happened, didn't I? Now tell me what's happened so I can fix it. You know I hate to see my beautiful lady cry."

Gaila took a deep breath, shuddered, and sniffed. "Jim it's horrible, I know she deserves to be punished, but no one deserves this. I mean I understood with Ethan. I didn't like it, and it was hard, but I understood it because what he'd done, what he'd meant to do was so awful. This, there aren't any words for it Jim." She shuddered and tears filled her eyes again.

McCoy noticed that Kirk went from being effortlessly charming to barely restrained in less than a breath. "What in the hell possessed Spock to let you anywhere near what was done to Ethan?"

"He needed me there to be able to participate. Ny did the best that she could to distract me, but there is only so much that you can take someone's mind off that kind of thing when it's happening less that fifteen feet away."

"And I take it that Spock called you into interrogation while Pike was playing with Janice too?" Kirk's voice was carefully modulated, and his fingers tight against the armrests. Gaila nodded, causing him to swear in a language that McCoy didn't recognize as he ran his fingers through his hair and pushed away from Gaila.

The swearing continued as he paced, no stalked was a more apt word, around the room. His hand happened across a glass left upon the table, and it was snatched up from its resting spot. McCoy jumped as it shattered against the wall, and Gaila winced at the noise but seemed otherwise unaffected. "Relax McCoy, Jim breaks things when he's angry, not people." This soft whisper was made with quiet certainty and did calm McCoy rising panic somewhat. After a moment, Kirk took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and when he turned to face them again his calm façade was restored.

He walked over to Gaila again and grabbed her hand, placing a kiss on the palm. He grabbed McCoy by the elbow, and pulled him down on the couch besides Gaila. He stepped out of sight and returned with his robe for Gaila, who was shivering despite the fact that the air around her was pleasantly warm, and shoes for McCoy. "Can't be running around barefoot when there's glass about. I'll send someone to clean this up, you stay here with Gaila."

He pulled the robe tightly around Gaila's shoulders. "Stay here until I get a chance to speak to Spock. I'll sort everything out, don't you worry." Gaila smiled at him, and Jim headed into the bathroom. McCoy gave a heavy sigh and looked over at Gaila uncertainly. She turned her head into Kirk's robe, and closing her eyes breathed deeply of his scent. Oddly enough Kirk's outburst hadn't unnerved her, instead she seemed calmer.

Kirk emerged moments later in command gold. He stopped by the couch to make sure Gaila was warm enough, and giving her a final caress on the cheek turned to McCoy. "I'm headed to interrogation to find out exactly what the hell Pike's playing at. If either of you need me, for any reason, call me. Under no circumstances are either of you to come anywhere near interrogation until I get this straightened out."

McCoy noticed that Gaila shivered at the mention of interrogation and that Kirk seemed to be speaking over Gaila, directly to him. He nodded and turned his attention to Gaila, whose cheeks were starting to regain some of their verdant glow. Kirk strode out, and the two sat in silence for a few moments, before Gaila pulled her knees up under her chin and looked over at McCoy.

"Jim never told you how we met did he?"

McCoy shook his head, and kept his face as neutral as possible. "No, I know from what both of you have said that you were involved, but he never mentioned how you met."

Gaila chuckled softly with none of her typical good cheer. "He won me from an Orion slave trader in a poker game."

McCoy felt his jaw drop. "He what?" McCoy asked incredulously.

"My current owner had been drinking and had bet far more than he could pay. So he brought Jim to where he kept me. God only knows why he thought anyone would want me at that point. I was beaten half to death, filthy, and drugged stupid with pheromone suppressants."

"Jim's eyes went cold and the next thing that I knew he had a knife in his hands. It didn't occur to me to be afraid, at that point I was so miserable I wouldn't have fought him if he had tried to kill me. Instead he turned to Borias and slit his throat. I can still feel the blood on my face."

"What happened then?"

"He leaned over, and told me that everything was going to be alright. He untied me, wrapped me in a blanket, and took me home with him. He bathed me, sent for a doctor, then he laid me down in a soft bed. He told me that things would be much better for me now, because unlike the miserable bastard that owned me previously he took care of what was his. He fed me, waited for me to heal, and taught me more about having self worth than you would have ever believed."

"So he brought you along when he joined Starfleet?"

"No, he taught me what I needed to know to survive on my own, and tutored me so that I could catch up on the years of school that I missed. I chose to come to Starfleet, because I didn't want him to be here with no friends or allies."

"Bet he was surprised to see you."

She chuckled and smiled softly. "More like pissed that I'd been holding out on him during our tutoring sessions. He had no idea that I could pass the entrance exam for Starfleet. And he's always been fiercely curious about how I got them to review my application so late."

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "How did you get in? I mean Pike recruited me and Jim, so I'm sure that there was some 'holy shit I'm not arguing with Pike over the bastards' involved. "

Gaila rolled her eyes. "Silly boy, everyone knows that Pike has a thing for Orion girls. He got hooked after a particularly awesome orgy. Between a look at my test scores and a whiff of my pheromones he signed the late enlistment papers no problem. Course the 'Please Chris' from Lady Winona probably didn't hurt."

McCoy had to admit he was impressed, he'd had no idea that the relationship between them had been percolating for that long. Moreover, from the comments that Jim had made about this being a recent development, neither did he. "He's been interested in her that long?"

"You have no idea McCoy, be damn glad that you make her happy that's all I'm saying. Jim's good, but between you and me, I wouldn't put him up against Pike just yet."

McCoy shuddered at the sheer idea of Kirk and Pike attempting to eclipse each other when it came to bastardry. "Let's hope that it never comes to that, Gaila." Gaila nodded, and then leaned her head against McCoy's shoulder. He took the hint, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started rubbing her hair. She still trembled slightly in the silence, but the tremors were fading as time went on and more pleasant topics were introduced. McCoy could only hope that Kirk was having similar success.

AN: Greetings gentle readers. I ask your patience over the next few weeks, and apologize for the length of time between updates. I have my own version of Ethan Raines in my life at the moment, nowhere near as dastardly as McCoy's, but none the less a tormentor. I'm in the process of preparing for a court hearing. It takes much of my energy, and leaves little of my soul free for creative endeavors.

Rest assured the story has not been abandoned. I may do some rewriting once this unpleasantness is resolved, as I don't feel that this is anywhere near my best work. Until then, however, please bear with me. If you enjoyed the tale, please do let me know. The reviews always do manage to make me smile.

Next chapter: Kirk and Pike butt heads over what is and is not allowed on Kirk's ship. Kirk reunites with Janice.


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk and Pike butt heads over what is and is not allowed on Kirk's ship. Kirk reunites with Janice.

Content Warning: The forecast ahead is dark folks. Those readers who find rape triggering or bothersome would do well to avoid the interrogation bit.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Interrogation 1300

Kirk walked into interrogation to find an empty observation room which smelled of sex. He decided that he didn't want to dwell upon the reasoning for that, after all the fact that his crew had a sadistic streak wasn't exactly a surprise. What he found when he stepped up to the glass on the other hand, well that disquieted him as few things seemed able to these days. Janice lay facing the opposite wall, curled into fetal position.

He could see bruises on her back, but the rest was obscured by the protective stance she'd taken. Steeling himself he walked through the door, wincing as she startled at even the quiet hiss of the automatic door. He walked over to her crouching beside her, noting her trembling increasing as he neared her. He touched her shoulder lightly, only to end up cursing himself for a fool as she flinched away from him as far as the chains binding her would allow.

He'd forgotten just how jumpy rape victims could be. He managed with great effort to keep his voice soft and comforting. "It's alright Janice, I'm not here to hurt you. I just need to see how badly you're injured, so we can get someone to take care of you." He turned her towards him and he gasped at the extent of damage that his crew had done in such a short amount of time.

She was bruised as he'd observed earlier, most heavily on her breasts and inner thighs. Her sex was badly swollen, and the sharp over head light did nothing to hide the dark trails of blood that stained her pale skin, nor the pink trails where her assailants' emissions had mixed in with the blood that had been shed. A closer examination of her backside revealed similar injuries. These injuries while horrific, were about what he would have expected having left someone vulnerable amongst his crew without restrictions.

No the rape itself didn't shock him, albeit the violence that had been done in so short a time frame was bothersome. What had been done to her face on the other hand was alarming. A number of fine shallow cuts had been made across her once lovely features. The cuts were deep enough to scar without medical intervention, and would forever remove her from the ranks of those able to manipulate others via their own beauty.

These cuts framed a widely stretched mouth, her lips forced apart by a large ring gag. The chapped lips and swollen mouth made it obvious that the crew had seen fit to debase their crewmate in every possible way. Kirk resisted the urge to throw something as that would just frighten the fragile woman beside him more. He detested rape. It was to his mind a waste of resources and quite possibly the most foul thing one person could do to another. Even with time and patience there would be no returning Janice to the woman she was before this. She would forever carry the scars of this day with her. Much kinder just to kill her, than break her so completely and then let her suffer.

"Janice, I'm going to take the gag off now. Ok?" There was no response, and Kirk sighed, closed his eyes, and grasped the bridge of his nose between his fingers trying to stave off the growing headache. Catatonic was bad. "Janice? Can you hear me?"

This time she flinched at the voice and then blinked. "Janice I'm going to take the gag off. Blink twice if you understand me." Two blinks, and he brought his fingers up to the leather straps holding the device in place. She whimpered as he pulled the straps free, and helped her ease the large metal ring out of her mouth. The movement caused the cuts on her face to begin bleeding more freely again, and her head lolled to the side, as soon as he took his supporting arm away.

What little cognizance her eyes had previously held was gone now, hidden behind layers of pain. She shuddered as he unchained her, curling completely into a protective ball as soon as she was able. He cursed as he pondered what exactly to do with her. He couldn't leave her like this, that was for certain, and he couldn't merely heal her and let her go. She now had a bigger reason than ever before to hold a grudge against him, and mercy would likely come back to bite him in the ass.

Loathe as he was to bother McCoy, his expertise was needed. M'Benga was a fair physician, but an undisputed sadistic bastard. He needed McCoy's soft touch and soothing demeanor for this particular patient. While he had no doubt that M'Benga could mend the tissue damage, he doubted the man's ability to repair Janice's frail psyche. After all, what good was punishment if the party whom it was being inflicted upon was insensate? Despite his reluctance to disturb McCoy's recovery medical care seemed the most logical choice, at least if he wanted her to live long enough for what he'd planned for her.

He walked over to the communications panel, and asked Uhura to connect him to his quarters. McCoy's flushed face filled the screen, and Kirk found some comfort in the fact that if Gaila was making McCoy blush she must be feeling better. "As much as I hate to interrupt what is undoubtedly a fascinating conversation, I'm going to have to request that you meet me in Medbay, McCoy. You've a patient to see to."

"Not that I'm complaining, but I thought I was forbidden from darkening their doors until day after tomorrow at the earliest?"

"I'll make this one, singular exception. Unless you've got someone else on staff that isn't a sadistic bastard that you're not telling me about? In which case I'll bother them instead, and leave you to your beauty rest."

McCoy sighed and frowned slightly. "You damn well that the rest of the bastards are piss poor at following orders that don't involve causing other people misery. If you're looking for non-sadistic, I'm pretty much your best and only option."

"I was afraid you were going to say that." He sighed and looked back at Janice, who had yet to stir. "Looks like there is no way around it then, meet me in Medbay."

McCoy's lips quirked up, but he didn't quite smile at the order. As pleased as he was to be off of his work restriction he couldn't be happy that someone was hurt badly enough for Kirk to require his services. "Aye aye, sir. See you in Medbay." McCoy cut the transmission, and Kirk turned back to the injured woman behind him.

Medbay 1330

McCoy took a moment outside the Medbay doors to school his face into a mask of growling disapproval. M'Benga had greatly overstepped his bounds, and his staff very likely knew it. This meant that if he was to have a snowballs chance in hell of being able to control his own Medbay without resorting to relying on Kirk's threats to back him up, he couldn't afford to show weakness of any kind once he stepped into those doors.

After a moment to collect himself he walked through the doors like he owned the place, which in a way he did. If he were honest with himself, he owed a lot to Kirk. Even before he became his patron, he had interceded on McCoy's behalf, in that he'd insured he ended up in charge of medical services of the flagship of the Empire. It was a position that literally hundreds of Starfleet physicians would kill to have. And given this he supposed it was time to channel some of the arrogance that Kirk seemed to believe was his due. While he wouldn't quite go so far as to claim that he was the best doctor in the fleet, he would admit that he was one of the best.

He sent M'Benga a cool look as he walked into Medbay. "Nurse Chapel, prepare the operating room. The Captain is bringing in an injured patient. M'Benga, you are relieved of duty as CMO of this ship. And should you ever slip me a sedative again, I will strangle you with your own intestines. Is that in any way unclear to you?" He met and held the man's eyes, and watched him crumble under the weight of his stare. He had to admit there was a sick thrill in watching the other man look away in deference, but at the same time felt a moment of panic at the thought that he had become such a thing that the monsters feared him.

"No sir, I understand completely."

"Good, have the charts from all patients treated on my desk by the start of alpha shift tomorrow."

M'Benga's lips thinned a bit, and McCoy expected him to balk. But he seemed to think better of it and nodded slightly. "Yes, sir." Having finished the conversation, McCoy turned towards the operating room, and proceeded to scrub for surgery. He didn't look up as Kirk brought in his patient and lay her unmoving on a biobed. He didn't notice the glare that Kirk sent towards M'Benga, and he most certainly didn't notice the raised eyebrow from Spock as he watched the standoff. And if he had to bite back a smile when M'Benga hightailed it from the room under the meaningful threatening stare from Kirk, well that was nobody's business either.

Admirals Quarters 1400

Kirk stood at the door to the Pike's quarters, caught between nerves that he'd never admit to, and indignation that Pike had allowed such a spectacle to happen onboard his ship. He pressed the chime and waited for permission to enter, because while he had no illusions to the fact that Pike and his mother were going at it like a pair oversexed Orions, he didn't exactly want visual confirmation of this fact. There were just some things that were best left unseen and unconsidered.

Despite this the wait was giving him more time to waver on his course of action than he would have had if he'd stormed through the door as he would have had he not been at risk of catching the two of them in flagrante delicto. The door slid open granting him entrance to Pike's abode and he drew up his indignation around him. Pike smiled at him from behind his desk, and the more objective part of his mind did have to admit that Pike was looking much better now a days. His mother was good for Pike, obviously. Now he just wished that he could say the same thing for the Admiral's presence on his ship.

"Jim, what brings you by this afternoon?" Pike's eyebrow raised as Jim's bearing and demeanor indicated that this wasn't a social call.

"What in the hell possessed you to think that I'd be okay with you utilizing rape as a tool of interrogation on my ship?" Now that he'd found the rage again, his palms were damp and he fairly trembled with it.

Pike shrugged dismissively. "Wasn't an interrogation, already had all the information that we needed from the mindmeld with Spock."

"So let me get this straight. You had one of my crew members gang raped and mutilated as what, an afternoon's amusement?"

"Given the fact that said crewmember tried to kill your consort, I'd have thought that you'd be grateful. And if you must know the 'amusement' as you called it was a gift for your mother, and a way of boosting your crew's morale. You keep them on far too tight a leash in that regard."

"We're going to leave my mother out of this, because I really do not want to know what kind of fucked up courtship ritual the two of you are engaged in if this exhibition was considered a present. And as far as my crew, they know and respect my rules on this subject. You will do the same in the future, or I will personally see you off of this ship. Am I clear?"

Pike shot him a disgusted look. "You would really pick that kind of fight with me over what I do to some low level yeoman that you ought to be flaying alive yourself? You've been hanging out with McCoy too much Jim, he's making you soft."

"You know perfectly well why I won't allow rape on this ship. Ethan was a onetime thing, he wasn't a member of this crew, or enlisted in Starfleet. He was going to die in the next couple of days anyway, and the punishment was comparable with the crimes. Now I'm with you on the mindmeld, I'm with you on the torture, and fucking up Janice's face. But you are not going to sanction rape on this vessel while I am Captain, do we understand each other?"

Pike looked at him consideringly and seemed to soften slightly. "It really means that much to you?"

Jim nodded. "It really does. I have a terrified Orion in my quarters as we speak, and I won't have members of my crew subjected to that. I don't like it when it's an enemy. But I will not have members of my crew subjected to something that will cause irreparable harm. It's bad for morale, it's hell on productivity, and I'll see them dead before I authorize something that fucked up as a punishment on this ship."

Pike sighed. "Alright, alright you've made your point. No more rape on your ship. If it means that damn much to you, I'll find some other method when I'm working on your ship."

Kirk relaxed slightly. "Thank you." He knew that there would come a time, when the two of them would have to butt heads more severely. A time when arguments were not so easily smoothed over, it was inevitable if his plans to rule the empire were to reach fruition. But he respected the man enough to be glad that it wasn't today.

"So since you didn't like what I'd done to her, what exactly are your plans for the bitch?" Pike challenged, partly out of curiosity, and partly out of a need to be certain that despite his earlier admonishment that Kirk wasn't going soft under McCoy's influence.

"Currently she's in Medbay, under McCoy's tender care. I need her coherent for what I've got planned."

"And how did the good doctor take that?"

"Considering that I told him to leave the cuts on her face to scar. And that if he treated them I'm make sure that next time they went through to the bone, he's rather pissed off at me at the moment. He doesn't know that she's the one that tried to kill him, and damn it all I don't think it'd make a difference to him if he did. Man has the most lacking sense of self preservation I've ever seen."

Pike smirked. "Good thing that he's got you to take care of watching his ass then isn't it."

"Yeah, I suppose it is isn't it." He took the seat that Pike gestured to, and described exactly what he had planned for the attempted assassin. While he wasn't handling it in quite the manner that Pike would have, he had to admit that Kirk's idea did have merit. Perhaps the good doctor wasn't as bad for the fierce captain as he'd feared. Only time would tell.

AN: Greetings gentle readers. My legal troubles are all resolved and settled in my favor. Thanks for all your patience and support! I hope to be back to updating on a much more frequent basis in the next few weeks. Thanks so much for reading, and do let me know if you enjoyed this bit.

Next Chapter: Kirk has a much needed conversation with Spock and Janice departs stage right.


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk and Spock come to an understanding. McCoy discovers an unwelcome truth, and he and Kirk have a meaningful chat and cuddle.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

First Officer's Quarters 1600

Kirk stood impatiently at Spock's door. He used his override code and after waiting a few seconds for Spock to be alerted to his presence opened the door. His first looked up from his desk impassively, with one eyebrow raised. "Is there something I can do for you this evening Captain?"

"It seems Mr. Spock that there is a need for us to clarify a few things." Spock ever the polite host gestured for Kirk to take a seat, and offered him a cup of tea. Kirk accepted the cup, but did not drink from it, instead swirling the beverage in his cup while Spock settled himself.

"What seems to be the trouble Captain?" Spock's tone was perfectly modulated as always, leaving a casual observer to believe that he felt no apprehension at the arrival of his Captain in an unscheduled and decidedly less cordial than customary manor. Kirk however, having spent hours cataloging the minute reactions of those around him, saw the curiosity and uncertainty that Spock tried to repress.

"Behavior of the most troubling nature has been brought to my attention, Mr. Spock. It appears despite my standing orders prohibiting rape as an interrogation tactic or punishment on my ship, that multiple members of my crew have participated in the rape of a member of this crew."

"That is most troubling news Captain."

Kirk leveled a cold gaze at his first, and raised an eyebrow in return. "Care to shed some light on the reasons that I had to hear about this profound disrespect from someone other than you?" Kirk saw the wheels turning in Spock's head as he calculated the possibilities that Kirk had in fact discovered everything.

After a measured moment Spock sat down his tea and drew his knife from his belt, and extended it hilt first to Kirk. He bowed his head slightly as he handed it to him, and his eyes almost seemed sad. "My apologies, Captain. I have in fact been derelict in my duties. I shall accept any punishment you seek to impose."

Kirk sat his tea down and took Spock's knife from him, and ran his fingers along the tip. "While your penance is refreshing, you didn't answer my question Spock. Why didn't you come to me with this?" Spock lowered his eyes and didn't speak. "Spock, punishing you doesn't change the fact that you should have come to me with this. You're going to have to explain to me why you didn't. Then we'll talk about punishment."

Kirk watched as Spock straightened and shifted in his chair ever so slightly, the Vulcan equivalent of squirming. "You're awful reluctant to talk to me tonight, Spock. How about I tell you the reasons that I thought up, and you can tell me if I'm close." Kirk stroked the rim of the tea cup. "I think you enjoyed what Chris did. You don't want to admit it, but a little part of you got off on the fact that he was making her squirm. That doesn't fit with all your Vulcan stoicism, so you've been trying to figure out why you enjoyed it so damn much, instead of coming to tell me that there were things which would displease me were happening on my ship."

Kirk watched as Spock averted his eyes, a sure sign that he had in fact found the root of the problem. He reached over and grabbed Spock's shoulder, giving it a squeeze and causing Spock's eyes to meet his own. "Hey, it's ok. It's not like you're the only guy who ever got off on watching a pretty girl squirm. But don't let it get in the way of telling me important happenings that I need to be briefed on. I'm willing to give you a pass this time, because I know you were freaked beyond all reason and good sense. Don't expect that to happen again."

With that Kirk drew Spock's knife and drew it slowly across Spock's bared wrist. A thin line of green blood welled to the surface of his skin and began to drip down to the table. The wound was clean and shallow, but it would scar to a fine white line on Spock's wrist. It was the third such scar that Kirk had given Spock, the first shortly after his first officer had been assigned in reparation for stranding Kirk on Delta Vega, the second more than a year ago.

Kirk had never quite understood the need that Vulcans had for blood reparations. From the explanation that he'd gotten from Uhura it had something to do with all fluid being precious on a desert planet, and the willing shedding of such resources being seen as the utmost of apologies. Kirk dipped his fingers in the pooling blood, and brought them to his lips completing the ritual.

His first marginally relaxed, and Kirk rose and grabbed a length of gauze from the table beside Spock's bed. He returned to Spock's side, and proceeded to bind the wound stemming the blood flow. Then when it was bound he gave Spock's shoulder a squeeze, and took his seat. Kirk picked up the cup and took a sip of the cooling tea, and gave Spock a smile to show that all was indeed well. The Vulcan seemed to settle into his skin again, and the two fell into their more customary roles of bad ass starship captain and first mate.

They sat in companionable silence for a moment, before Kirk spoke again. "There is one additional topic we need to discuss Spock."

"What might that be Captain?" Spock's eyebrows rose slightly, indicating that he'd expected their 'conversation' to be complete.

"It's come to my attention that you've been neglecting Gaila's emotional welfare, Spock." He watched Spock's breath catch at the accusation, which reassured him that the lapse had not been intentional. "I'll take part of the responsibility for this mistake Spock, as it appears that neither us told you how Gaila came into my service." Spock's eyebrows rose at this, it had long been a subject of speculation in Starfleet how a cadet from Iowa, even if he was the son of George Kirk, came to possess an Orion slave girl.

"I would have thought that you'd have gotten glimpses of Gaila's past from your mind melds, but apparently she is shielding pretty heavily, which I can't say that I blame her for. I won her in a card game, Spock. She'd been starved, beaten, and raped. Not to mention drugged out of her mind to keep her from being able to influence her 'clients'."

Kirk watched with satisfaction as Spock's jaw clenched. Spock's anger at Gaila's past mistreatment was a good thing as it lessened the likelihood of Kirk having to remove her from Spock's care. "It took me more than a year to get her to the point that she wasn't scared for people to touch her, longer than that for her to actually enjoy it. So if you feel the need to have distractions during punishments, or want to enjoy someone's fear though that Vulcan empathy of yours, so be it."

Kirk met and held Spock's eyes. "I don't care if you get off on fear. There are plenty of crew members on this ship that get off on being scared, feel free to bring one of them into your bed. But do it with someone besides Gaila alright? She likes it here, but I can't let her stay if you keep hurting her." Spock's nostrils flared at the unwelcome reminder that Kirk could take Gaila away from him.

"Removing her will not be necessary, Captain. Now that I am aware that my behavior is causing her harm, it will cease."

Kirk smiled. "I was hoping that you were going to say that. She's still a bit shaky from witnessing what happened to Janice, so I'll send her home tomorrow."

"That would be most agreeable, Captain." Kirk had to give Spock credit, it was almost impossible for him to tell that Spock was balking at the idea of not having Gaila with him for the night. All the better, Kirk mused, to remind him exactly what he has to lose.

Med Bay 1630

McCoy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and rolled his shoulders, trying to stave off the pounding headache that was beginning to build behind his temples. Apparently he'd vastly underestimated his need for recovery time, but there was no way that he could have had M'Benga treat this particular patient. She might have never recovered if she'd received his 'tender mercies' on top of the treatment she'd already gotten from the crew. The fact that he'd had a huge blow up with Kirk about the fact that he wanted him to leave the cuts on the woman's face to scar wasn't helping matters.

He checked the woman's vitals a final time, and he was pleased to note that she was coming out of her drugged state as she should. As he was annotating her chart she began to stir, and started with a pained groan. He placed a hand on her shoulder, keeping her from shifting too much. He'd wanted to avoid restraining her for obvious reasons, but it might be necessary if he could not calm her. "Easy now darlin, no one's going to hurt you here. You need to be calm and lay still for me alright?"

She started at his voice, and stilled though she trembled under his hand. "Dr. McCoy?" There was a confused tremulousness in her voice, and he felt his heart clench. Kirk wanted him to leave this poor woman to suffer, he just couldn't understand it. How could this be the same man that had been so tender with him and Gaila?

"Yes, darlin, I'm right here, and no one's going to hurt you. Now you just lie still while I get you something for the pain." In a moment he pressed the hypo to her neck, and noticed an instant relaxation at the soft hiss of the hypospray as the medication began working its way through the woman's bloodstream.

He was shocked as her fingers closed tightly around his wrist. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"You're hurt, and I'm a doctor. It's what I do." He told her quietly and counted the seconds until the medication took her into a painless oblivion.

There was a pained look of confusion on her face as she gasped out her reply. "But I tried to kill you, why would you help me?"

McCoy gasped at the woman's revelation. He supposed that explained Kirk's insistence that the scars that marred her face remain. Still the woman was waiting for an answer, seeming to resist the pull of the analgesic until she could understand why McCoy was being so kind. Finally he spoke, and gave her the only answer that he could. "Because it doesn't matter what you did out there, in here you are my patient, and that means that I take care of you. Now rest, you need it to heal."

Seemingly content with that answer she sagged into the bed, and her eyes closed as she allowed the drug to overtake her. Setting the chart aside, McCoy sagged into the chair beside the bed and buried his head in his hands. What had he done that this woman would try to kill him? Hell, he'd never even met her before she came into his Med Bay.

He sat that way through the next shift change, and stared into space pondering what could have led a complete stranger to endanger their life to kill someone they'd never met. He was transfixed by the beeping of the monitors to the point that he did not hear Kirk enter Medbay, in fact it wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he noticed he wasn't alone.

He started at the touch, only to still when he looked over and realized that it was Kirk. He shuddered under Kirk's touch as he looked at the slumbering woman. "She tried to kill me, Jim. I've never even met her, and she tried to kill me."

"Was wondering when that was going to sink in Bones." He allowed his fingers to trail up to the base of McCoy's skull, kneading the knotted muscles that he found there, allowing McCoy to rest his head against his thigh. "Come on, she's not going anywhere tonight, and I'm sure that you are exhausted. Let's get you home."

It spoke volumes to Kirk as to how shaken McCoy was by recent events that he allowed Kirk to lead him from Med Bay without protest or complaint. Kirk's hand hovered around McCoy's lower back as they navigated the corridors to their quarters, and he half expected to end up supporting the shaken man along their journey. Instead McCoy held it together long enough to get to their quarters and collapse on the couch before he started trembling.

Kirk sat down beside of him, and wrapped an arm around his shaking shoulders. He pressed a gentle kiss to McCoy's temple, and cupped his cheek turning his face towards Kirk. "Hey, McCoy, look at me. I'm guessing that this is your first assassination attempt?" McCoy nodded, and Kirk felt a moment of remorse for the life that he'd brought this gentle man into. There was nothing to be done for it now though, even if he were willing to let McCoy go, there was a huge target painted on his back for anyone with any kind of grudge against Kirk to see.

No, letting the man go wasn't an option. Didn't mean that Kirk couldn't do what he could to make this easier on the good doctor though. "Well then, it makes since that you'd be a little shaken up." He tightened his arm around McCoy's shoulders, and moved the two of them into a comfortable position on the wide couch.

He looked into the confused eyes, and saw the humanity there that made McCoy so fascinating. The man really couldn't comprehend the fact that some people were just hateful, and would hurt him just because they could. No matter how many times he encountered it, it never seemed to lose the shock value for him. Kirk could almost see him searching the reaches of his vast mind trying to find some way to rationalize that he had done something to deserve the attack.

Best nip those thoughts in the bud, he realized, before McCoy became even more self deprecating. He tilted McCoy's chin up, and forced him to hold his stare while he spoke. "Janice didn't go after you because of anything that you did. She was trying to get pay me back for some imagined slight." Kirk worked hard to keep his voice even and level throughout this, attempting to show none of the hatred that he held for the woman who had threatened what was precious to him.

"Now if we'd been a little more vigilant about your food scanning, she still would have failed." He felt the need to note this, to reiterate to McCoy that he was in a position now where such caution was necessary, even though he was the most inoffensive person on the ship. "We'll work on that, and your hand to hand as soon as you're steady on your feet again."

McCoy laughed bitterly. "After Pike's display, do you really think you're going to be able to find anyone who is going to be willing to spar with me? Hell, I'll be lucky if they don't run screaming in the opposite direction, much less get someone to hit me."

Kirk shrugged. "So you can train with me, it's been a while, but I think I still remember how to teach basic hand to hand." He ran his fingers through McCoy's hair and smiled. "Besides, you really think I'm going to trust anyone else to teach you how not to get your ass kicked?"

"Considering the fact that you'd probably stand on the sideline and glare disapprovingly the whole time, probably not."

Kirk raised an eyebrow at that and scoffed. "Like you wouldn't throw a fit if I wanted to let some other doctor tinker with my insides. It's all a matter of acknowledging your strengths, Bones. Yours is putting people back together when anyone else would throw up their hands and consider it a hopeless case, and mine is kicking an unprecedented amount of ass. If I want to learn first aid, I'll come to you. Since you need to learn how to watch your ass on the rare occasions that I'm not around to do it, you will be learning that from me. Now, that makes sense doesn't it?"

McCoy nodded. "When you put it that way, yeah, I guess that does make sense."

Kirk smiled and ran his finger over McCoy's chin. "Besides if I caught anyone else providing you the kind of motivation that I intend to, I'd have to kill them."

McCoy raised his eyebrow and looked at Kirk skeptically. "Motivation huh, what did you have in mind? Because I've got to say, I've seen how you 'motivate' people, and it hasn't exactly impressed me all that much." McCoy remembered the response Kirk had to the young cadet who'd approached him for tutoring when they were in the academy. He had not envied the boy, and had no desire to take his place. Kirk had ridden and ridiculed the boy, many times almost to the point of making him break down in tears.

Kirk smirked. "That's because I've never had to try to motivate you, you're a workaholic from the ground up. I have to demotivate you to keep you from working yourself past the point of stupidity. But I think you'll find, my dear doctor that I can be very-" Kirk kissed him lightly on the lips. "very" Another kiss, this one along his jaw, followed by a soft press of lips to his cheek. "persuasive." Kirk practically purred the last of his statement into McCoy's ear, and caused him to shiver as his teeth started to worry at his earlobe, before trailing back down to McCoy's mouth.

"You see McCoy, everyone is different. Chekov gets off on praise, and feeling like he's important. Spock needs to feel like he's being efficient, and being the best he can be to chase away the specters of those who taunted him for being an inferior half breed. Sulu needs to feel like he's pulling one over on me to do his best work, even though everyone else around him knows better. Scotty needs to be fueled by massive amounts of illegal wood grain alcohol and ensigns to terrify. Uhura needs to feel respected, and that she has information that no one else does. I give all of them what they need to make sure that they perform their job to the best of their ability, that's what makes me a good captain."

He considered McCoy carefully, trailing two fingers down the back of his neck making him shiver. "Now professionally speaking, as one of my officers, you have a pathological need to fix people. And so I leave you alone in your Med Bay to do just that, without any interference or demands that you torture people. On a personal level, McCoy, you are quite possibly the most closeted sensualist that I've ever known. And since you're coming to me fairly inexperienced that gives me a lot to work with."

McCoy would have felt more of a need to argue if Kirk hadn't been caressing him in such a way as to make him go completely boneless, and weak at the knees. To his shame, he did note that since he had come to Kirk's bed that he was far more receptive to stimulation, to the point that he'd considered checking his bourbon for aphrodisiacs. "You'll find McCoy, that with you unlike the others, I'm willing to take an exceeding amount of time, practicing long and hard to make sure that you understand all the nuisances of what I'm teaching you. And because you are without a doubt my all time favorite pupil, you can expect a lot of immediate positive reinforcements."

"Only you could turn this conversation into an innuendo."

_And cue the defensive sarcasm, wonderful._ Seeing that he was still wavering Kirk sighed. "Look, I promise not to bust your ass. Hawthorne, believe it or not loved what I was doing to him." At McCoy's incredulous look he continued. "The boy had a humiliation fetish, all those times he ran out of the room, it was because he didn't want to shoot his load in front of the entire student body, not because I'd psychologically scarred him." Kirk cupped McCoy's cheek, and pressed his lips to his forehead.

"I give people I'm teaching or commanding what they need. He needed and wanted a hard ass to belittle him. You don't. You don't need criticism, or pain, or humiliation. No, McCoy what you need more than anything else is this." Kirk gestured down at the embrace. "You need affection and tenderness, so that's what you'll get." And if Kirk thought that McCoy needed someone to take mastery over his life, and manage his upkeep and well being even more, well he'd just keep that to himself for the moment. There was no need for him to get his doctor's ire up. He could wait until the good doctor was comfortable enough to admit it.

AN: Greetings gentle readers. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and do apologize for the lengthy wait. Please excuse any typos or grammar issues. I normally let chapters sit a bit and then go back and edit, but as it's been so long since I've posted I don't want to keep people waiting. In my earlier timelines I neglected to remember that the problem with seasonal work, is that it is very intense whilst in season, and negligible when out of season. I've just finished my twice yearly span of all consuming work, and a glance at my time sheet revels that Kirk would most certainly be quite put out with me. However, life is coming to a much more even keel at this point, so I will endeavor to get chapters out to you wonderful people more frequently.

Please do share your thoughts on the story thus far, and thanks so much for reading.

Next Chapter: Kirk and McCoy have an overnight guest, and Gaila has a very good evening.


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: A little TLC with our favorite boys.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 2200

McCoy had to admit that Kirk's face was priceless when he stepped out of the bathroom and saw exactly what McCoy considered an acceptable dinner. The table was covered with different types of vegetables and the odd fruit, with a heavy emphasis on the green variety. Granted the serving sizes were small, samples more than anything, but there were dozens of them. And much to McCoy's amusement, Kirk's face resembled a man facing down an angry klingon, rather than cabbage. In fact he was decidedly sure that he'd seen Kirk less perturbed by a homicidal klingon.

"You said vegetables, Bones. Not a botanical garden."

McCoy smirked, and crossed his arms over his chest. "And if I got the chance for you to eat like a grown up more often, it wouldn't be this bad. As is, I'll take my chances when I can get them. By the end of the night I should have some idea of vegetables I can actually get you to eat."

Kirk didn't reply for a moment slightly amused by how far McCoy was taking this. "I really don't see why you're so worried about my diet. I've been avoiding things like this for years, and it doesn't seem to be doing any damage."

McCoy shot him a familiar look, which screamed 'what medical school did you go to again?' "Pardon me for finding it very relevant if you keel over dead from poor nutrition."

"They have drugs for that."

"99.9% of which you're allergic too, I checked."

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "Really 99.9%?"

"Okay more like 47.3, but still it's high enough that I can't trust that drugs will be a valid option, and by the time you get to the point that you're displaying symptoms, it's too late for dietary changes to reverse all of the damage."

He wouldn't admit it, but he'd missed McCoy's grousing and prodding. There was something heartwarming about the fact that he knew that McCoy rode his ass about things like his diet, or the risks he took because he actually gave a damn if Kirk lived or died. Kirk looked at his consort for a moment, and seemed to be mulling something over. After a moment he looked at the table, and then back at McCoy. "This is really important to you isn't it?"

"Yes, Jim, it is." The sound of his name in McCoy's mouth gave Jim a pleasant shiver, and he smiled. The look of sincerity in McCoy's eyes was undeniable, and he could hardly fault his consort for wanting to see him healthy. Kirk sighed, and resigned himself to a future filled with leafy green instruments of torture.

"Alright, but only because I know that desert will completely make up for it." Kirk smirked, and pulled McCoy in for a quick kiss.

After he pulled away McCoy raised his eyebrow. "What pray tell do you call that? No desert till after dinner."

"McCoy the last time I saw that much green was in an Orion brothel. A man needs fortification if he's going to face that big of a challenge." They sat down at the table, and Kirk speared a piece of steamed broccoli, looking at it suspiciously. "The things I do for you McCoy, really." He popped it into his mouth with a grimace, and chewed consideringly. "If you're expecting me to do this all the time McCoy, we're going to have to have a lot more sex, because that was just rank."

McCoy refrained from commenting that he didn't think more sex than they currently had was humanly possible, because god knows that not only would Kirk take it as a challenge, but he'd probably prove him wrong. "Ok, so broccoli not a favorite, try something else?"

With a look that clearly said that McCoy clearly owed him hugely for the indignity, he grabbed a carrot on his fork and chewed thoughtfully. "Well?"

Kirk shrugged. "Not bad for a vegetable." The meal continued on this way with McCoy noting what vegetables and fruits caused a grimace, and which were grudgingly accepted. This continued until he pushed a dish of asparagus towards Kirk. Warm fingers circled his wrist, and a sly smile went across Kirk's face. "We're not adding that to either of our diets, Bones."

McCoy raised his eyebrows. "Allergy that I don't know about?" There was a touch of concern in McCoy's voice that warmed Kirk.

"Not an allergy per say, more the fact that vegetables high in sulfur tend to make certain bodily fluids rather unpalatable. Tends to take some of the enjoyment out of things."

Kirk smiled as McCoy's cheeks colored, and wondered again what dastardly deed he'd done to deserve the gift of a consort who still blushed. "I'll defer to your expansive knowledge on the subject." Kirk smiled, released McCoy's wrist, and stroked down over his palm before intertwining his fingers with McCoy's.

"I think that's enough vegetation for one night, join me for a drink?" He quirked an eyebrow, and gestured to the seating area. McCoy nodded and rose with him, then walked over to the couch. "I'm afraid I haven't been able to restock your bourbon yet, but Pike keeps a good whisky. Or there's brandy if you'd prefer?"

McCoy resisted the urge to shudder at the mention of the bourbon, and considered it just was well that there hadn't been a supply run containing a replacement of his spirit of choice. He wasn't sure that he could swallow it at the moment. That side effect of his poisoning was one that he hoped he would overcome soon, he missed being able to comfortably unwind with something that reminded him so much of home. He shrugged. "Whatever you're having is fine."

Kirk smiled at him, poured him several generous fingers of brandy into a snifter, then repeated the actions for himself. McCoy noted that Kirk took care to scan both the bottle of brandy, the glasses, and then scan both glasses again after they had been filled. He looked over to McCoy as he handed him the glass. "Can't be too careful."

McCoy took a careful sip of the brandy, and felt the burn bloom in his chest and make its way to his stomach. "Who knows, you might even end up with an appreciation of the other things in our liquor cabinet before the supply ship arrives."

"Stranger things have happened." The two sat in companionable silence for a few moments, and McCoy noticed that Kirk seemed to be pondering something. In fact jokes aside, the man had seemed distant all night. And while not having the full intensity of Kirk's focus on him wasn't necessarily a bad thing, the fact that there was something that could worry Kirk to such obvious distraction was disconcerting. "You're awful quiet tonight. Something on your mind?"

Kirk sighed, and traced the rim of his glass with a finger. "Just thinking about, Gaila. I'm still trying to figure out a solution that keeps her happy and safe."

"You think she's in danger from Spock?" McCoy's concern for Gaila was apparent in his tone and the instant tension that filled McCoy's frame could not be faked. It was, Kirk mused, a welcome change from affected solicitude so often found in the circles that Kirk traveled in.

Kirk found himself caught between being touched that his consort obviously cared for Gaila, and wishing that McCoy would display at least a small inkling of jealousy. He'd never thought that there would be a day when he'd remember fondly screamed accusations and flying dishware, and if truth was told he wouldn't want McCoy to be that jealous. Despite that fact, McCoy's lack of rancor when discussing someone he knew to be one of Kirk's former lovers stung.

Then again, he reasoned, given the way that McCoy had come to share his bed, it would be a stretch for him to be perceptively jealous at this point. McCoy was far from miserable in his service, but he hadn't sought Kirk out on his own. Difficult as it was to be patient, he had to remember that McCoy probably wasn't at the point of admitting that he was happy with their arrangement, and probably didn't feel the sense of possession of Kirk that the former lovers who had scrambled to share his bed had.

He realized that he'd been silent too long while lost in his thoughts as he saw McCoy's brow begin to crease, and he resisted the urge to reach over and smooth the skin. "I don't think he'll intentionally harm her, no. If I did, I'd have taken her away from him already. But the past few months have brought out a certain," He paused for a moment searching for the right word to describe what he had observed in his first officer. "-darkness in Spock. He's finding that causing fear can be arousing. Given that, it's enough to cause me some concern."

"Wait, did you just say you'd take Gaila away from him? Do you want a homicidal Vulcan on your hands? They don't exactly take it well when people take away their toys." McCoy's voice held a tone of incredulousness that anyone would even consider anything as insane as separating a Vulcan from one of his mates.

Kirk felt his jaw clench at the implication that he couldn't handle his first should push come to shove. But considering that McCoy had been the one to treat the bruises on his neck after the incident on the bridge, he could understand where he was coming from. Given the poorly veiled concern for his well being in McCoy's eyes, he decided to consider it a positive sign. "Theoretically, Gaila isn't his. She's mine, entrusted to Spock and Uhura, but ultimately still mine."

McCoy looked at him confusion obvious on his face. "How does that work?"

"Gaila's an Orion, McCoy. She can't function in the empire without someone to vouch for her behavior."

An uneasy understanding dawned in McCoy's eyes. Kirk realized that he shouldn't be surprised that his gentle consort rankled over what was tantamount to treating sentient beings like chattel. "So you're her keeper?" He'd give McCoy credit, he managed to keep his disapproval from his voice, well mostly anyway.

"For lack of a better word, yes, though it's largely ceremonial. Unless I think that what she wants is going to cause her harm, by and large I allow her to make her own decisions. I've never held with the fact that the Empire is so chicken shit when it comes to Orions." He noticed that this acknowledgement of his disapproval of the treatment that Orions received in the empire seemed to cause McCoy's shoulders to relax.

"That why she's knocking boots with the green blooded bastard?"

"His parents were married, I assure you. And when I was looking for someone to entrust her to, she asked if I would have any objections to Spock and Uhura. I'd been considering Pike, but he would have the same problem that I had."

Considering that most sentient beings in the universe would die for a warm, willing Orion in their bed McCoy was surprised to hear Kirk refer to Gaila as a problem. "And what problem is that?"

"In order to keep Gaila and not have my command considered compromised, I would have had to have kept her drugged to the point that she couldn't influence me, in any way. You ever seen an Orion whose pheromones are damped to that point?"

McCoy winced remembering how listless the girl he'd seen in Starfleet medical had been. "I see your point, but isn't that a danger with Spock as well?"

"Since he's as you put it a green blooded bastard, not so much. You and I both know that Nytoya and Gaila get under his skin, but very few others do, especially those at Starfleet Command."

"Convenient for everyone involved."

"Up unto this point yes."

"And now because of the new side of Spock you're wondering if she's safe?"

"To some degree yes, but I've got my eyes on that situation. For the moment, she wants to stay, and I've talked to Spock. I've reminded him exactly what he risks should he hurt her again. Currently she is safely in the care of my mother for the evening, to allow Spock to ponder just what it is he'd be losing if I did take her from him. Rest assured, Gaila will have a very, very good night. The rest will be handled as necessary in time." He reached over and trailed a finger along McCoy's arm. "That leaves me with only one pressing matter to attend to this evening."

"And what might that be?"

"Currently, I intend to enjoy the rest of the evening with my very delectable consort. I seem to recall something about you deferring to my expansive knowledge." McCoy inclined his head slightly, wordlessly ceding that point to Kirk. Kirk tangled his fingers with McCoy's and the two leisurely walked towards the bed, with the kisses and wandering hands that McCoy had become accustomed to. When they reached the bed, Kirk pulled him in for a long gentle kiss.

Hands reached down to cover his, where they had clenched the material of Kirk's tunic during the kiss, subconsciously feeling that the fabric between them was too oppressive. Kirk smiled while he loosened McCoy's fingers and brought the hand up to his smiling mouth placing a soft kiss on McCoy's palm. "Let me do the work this time, you're still recovering." His skilled hands made short work of McCoy's clothes, and soon he was laid out on the bed. And as the frantic joining of other nights gave way to a more tender, more languid coupling he found himself very appreciative of Kirk's 'expansive knowledge'.

AN: Hi everyone, as usual Kirk and company took what I had planned and threw it out the window. In this case for the better I think. Originally I'd planned on having Gaila spend the night with the boys, but given the stage in the relationship it just didn't feel right. So instead they gave me veggies and sex. I wasn't exactly complaining. I'm considering doing a one shot of Gaila's night with Lady Winona and Admiral Pike, but make no promises on when it will be completed. Rest assured she is having a very, very good time in their care.

As always, reviews are love, and make my day.

Next up: Kirk has a very pleasant surprise for his consort.


	40. Chapter 40

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk has a surprise for his consort, and manages to discover something very pleasing.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 0600

Kirk woke surrounded by the warmth of his consort. At some point in the night McCoy had managed to wrap himself around Kirk in a manner that would impress the most flexible of octopi. Kirk had noticed that for someone who claimed not to like him, McCoy was damned fond of wrapping himself around him like a living blanket anytime the two of them were horizontal for more than a few hours. Then Kirk mused, as he ran his fingers through McCoy's hair, he wasn't exactly complaining about it. Truth was he liked this affectionate, even clingy side of his consort. The only challenge that remained was getting him to display this kind of behavior when he was awake.

He stroked the smooth skin of McCoy's back, allowing his mind to wander while his consort slept. He stretched his free arm over to the nightstand, where a cup of cool mint tea waited. It wouldn't do after all to greet his consort with morning breath. It wasn't long, however, until he began to feel the first stirrings of consciousness returning to the man in his arms. McCoy opened his eyes slowly, and then started when he realized the position that he'd worked himself into in the night. Kirk was once again treated to the sight of a blush on McCoy's cheeks, and took pity on him before the man did something ridiculously unnecessary like apologize.

He met McCoy's lips in a gentle, but insistent kiss. Once McCoy had relaxed into the embrace, he pulled away a smile on his lips. "Good morning."

"Morning." Kirk noted the scratchiness in McCoy's voice, and wordlessly offered him a sip of tea. Throat sufficiently moistened, McCoy let his head fall back onto Kirk's shoulder, prompting a smile.

"Still tired sweetheart?"

"Comfortable, don't want to move." McCoy groaned this, inhibitions momentarily lowered by the last vestiges of sleep.

"Well never let it be said that I turned down such a handsome man who wants to spend time in my bed." Kirk continued stroking McCoy's back till the man fell back into a comfortable doze, and smiled as McCoy's breath tickled the side of his neck. As he fell back to sleep himself, he wondered if McCoy would remember his sleep induced confession of being comfortable in Kirk's arms.

Captain's Quarters 0800

Kirk was still sleeping when McCoy woke the second time. Instead of pulling away as he would have had Kirk been awake, McCoy allowed himself a few moments to enjoy the feeling of the man beside him. He'd missed few things about being married, but this was one of them. The simple comfort of waking up in someone's arms, that he had missed. The fact that Kirk had not come to him from another man's bed as Jocelyn had towards the end of their marriage was an added boon.

After a few luxurious moments McCoy carefully extricated himself, and on quiet feet made his way out of the room allowing Kirk to continue his slumber. He had no way of knowing that as he left the room Kirk's eyes followed him, and that his indulgence had not gone unobserved. Kirk smiled as he waited, to give McCoy a believable head start on the morning's activities that he could reasonably have been roused by McCoy's absence. It wouldn't do to tip his hand so easily, and the information that he'd gathered this morning was far too precious to be squandered.

McCoy was standing in the shower, enjoying the warmth of the spray, and pondering that which he needed to accomplish in the limited amount of leisure time that he had before going back to Med Bay. Since coming into Kirk's company, many small tasks had been pushed to the wayside both by pleasurable pursuits and unexpected crisis. He had a pressing need to insure that his accounts and legal paperwork were in order now that Joanna had changed schools, and Jocelyn was dead. He needed to catch up on his correspondence. He continued adding to the growing list of responsibilities he needed to attend to that day, and paid little heed to his surroundings.

McCoy was so busy thinking in fact that he didn't hear Kirk enter the bathroom, and did not notice him until he stepped under the spray behind him. McCoy jumped as Kirk startled him, and Kirk being ever considerate caught him and held him steady, lest he slip upon the wet tiles. "This jumpy before your first cup of coffee Bones? We really do have to teach you to relax."

"I'll have you know I'm very calm and collected normally. Not my fault that you and the hobgoblin walk quieter than anybody ought to."

Kirk just chuckled in answer to McCoy's protests, and kissed him under the spray. Kirk allowed his hands to wander, and only the need for air caused him to pull back from his consort. "I'd say that I'll try not to sneak up on you as much, but I don't intend to lie to you."

"Just so long as I don't have a scalpel in my hand, I think we'll be fine. Nothing personal mind you, it's more of a reflex thing at this point, and pincushion's not particularly a good look for you."

Kirk remembered what McCoy had told him about his early time at the academy, and felt the need to eviscerate the people who had hounded McCoy to the point that stabbing people who snuck up behind him had become a 'reflex'. "No sneaking when you're holding sharp pointy things, I swear." If Kirk's hands lingered a moment longer than they strictly necessary, or his eyes darkened at the thought of others threatening what was his neither of them mentioned it.

He proceeded to make short work of shampooing McCoy's hair, and a quick rinse got him ready for the day. "Mind ordering breakfast for us while I finish up?" McCoy nodded, and wrapping a towel around his waist stepped out of the shower, leaving Kirk to finish his morning routine. Kirk watched him go with a fond grin, and looked forward to the look on McCoy's face when he saw what was waiting for him after they finished breakfast.

McCoy stood at the replicator pondering what to have for breakfast. He knew what he 'should' order for them, but eventually decided that an occasional indulgence didn't hurt. Besides, for reasons that he didn't want to examine too closely he was in a good mood this morning. He scrolled through the files that his mother had sent, and smiled when he found that she had in fact included the one that he was thinking of. Kirk had no idea what a treat he was in for.

Kirk stepped into to the dining area and was greeted by the pleasant scent of cinnamon. His jaw dropped as he beheld the most sinful looking cinnamon roll that he'd ever seen, accompanied by crisp bacon and coffee. "Alright, who are you and what have you done with my consort?"

"Something wrong?" McCoy arched an eyebrow.

Kirk shook his head, and crossed his arms over his chest, looking puzzled by the whole state of affairs. "No, just shocked by the appalling lack of healthy vegetation."

"I said I wanted you to eat a balanced diet, not become an herbivore. There's orange juice, and I'm expecting you to eat something green at dinner."

Kirk shrugged and seemed to relax at that announcement, apparently pleased with the compromise. "I can deal with that."

"Good, now eat before your breakfast gets cold."

"Bossy this morning aren't you?" The smile on Kirk's face took the bite out of the question, and McCoy wasn't surprised when Kirk pulled him in close for a quick peck before heading to the table. "I like it."

"Needing fortification for cinnamon buns now?"

"Nah, that was a down payment. I'm fairly certain I saw something about cinnamon being an aphrodisiac somewhere."

"For you? I'm starting to think air is an aphrodisiac."

Their banter was cut short when Kirk took the first bite of his still steaming cinnamon roll. McCoy barely resisted chuckling as Kirk's eyes rolled back in surprised pleasure, and he emitted a moan that was only just shy of orgasmic. "Oh my god, this is amazing."

"Did I mention my mother won a blue ribbon at the state fair with this recipe?"

"No, but I can see why. I agree with you, by all means, eat before this gets cold." The two enjoyed a pleasant breakfast, with conversation relaxed and focusing largely on various goings on about the ship. McCoy found to his surprise that he actually enjoyed talking to Kirk, when he wasn't Captain Kirk, and was instead just Jim.

In short order the two of them had eaten their fill, and Kirk gestured for him to sit while he cleaned the table. Kirk returned carrying a box, and a padd. He sat the padd on the table and handed the box to McCoy. "The supply ship came in while we were asleep. You're going to want to open that sooner rather than later I'm thinking." He handed McCoy a knife then to cut the tape away from the package, and reclaimed his seat to have a better view of McCoy's face when he opened the box.

McCoy's breath caught when he pulled out a framed picture of Joanna. It had been years since he'd been able to bribe a recent picture out of Jocelyn, and he'd since been relying on stolen glimpses of Joanna from the rare times he'd been able to talk to her. As wonderful as those memories were there was something amazing about having a tangible thing to hold in his hands.

Kirk watched McCoy's face as he held the picture, and then as he carefully placed the frame on the table. It was obvious that it was with great difficulty that he kept his voice from cracking as asked. "You have something to do with this?"

Kirk smiled and nodded. "Your mother and I thought you could use a more recent picture."

"Thank you." McCoy's voice was soft, as if he was surprised that such a troublesome undertaking would have been preformed solely for his benefit.

Kirk met and held McCoy's eyes, and tried to convey the sincerity of his reply with a smile and by resting his hand over McCoy's. "My pleasure, Joanna sent you something too. It should be in the bottom of the box."

McCoy looked back to the box and carefully pulled out a lump of dark green fuzz. When he gently unfurled it, he found it to be a lumpy, relatively misshapen attempt at a hat. He looked over at Jim and smiled. "Would you look at that? My baby girl made me a hat." Kirk looked on in amusement as McCoy pulled the hat on, with the enthusiasm that only a parent can produce. "What do you think?"

Kirk bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, though his amusement was plainly evident in his voice. "I think that Joanna loves you very much, and that she's lucky to have a father who's so proud of her." He smiled and reached over and adjusted the hat straightening it minutely. "They're still working on the sweater. For some reason Joanna is convinced that you're cold up here. It doesn't seem to matter how many times your mom tells her that the ship is toasty warm."

"Always has been hard headed." There was a softness that Kirk was unaccustomed to in his consort as he spoke of his daughter, and the twinkle in his eyes made Kirk want to preserve this moment for as long as possible.

"No really, I wonder where she could have gotten that from." The teasing was good natured, and Kirk was pleased to see McCoy roll his eyes slightly.

"Well it's not from me, that's for damn sure. I blame her mother. Her side of the family always was pig headed." At the mention of Jocelyn's family some of McCoy's good mood seemed to evaporate, and Kirk decided that they would have to be disposed of should they prove too aggravating to his consort. He would not tolerate anyone intruding on their happiness, and they had gone out of their way to cause McCoy trouble in the past.

"You've got some decisions to make about them, you know?"

"What kind of decisions?" McCoy looked puzzled, and Kirk realized that it wouldn't have occurred to him that he was now in the position to enact a measure of retaliation for the pain that they had caused him. Granted, that pain had put him straight on the road to Starfleet, and into Kirk's arms. In a twisted way Kirk owed them for that, but that didn't mean that Kirk meant to let them continue harassing his consort. At best it bought them clean deaths instead of slow ones, should they not be intelligent enough to acknowledge that they had lost.

"It's up to you if they get to see Joanna. No one is going to think less of you if you wanted to keep them away from her. I know they pulled some dirty tricks during your divorce."

"I'd think less of me. This isn't about my hurt feelings. It's about what's best for Joanna. If she wants to see them, I'll allow it."

"That's very," Kirk paused searching for a word that would suffice without offending his consort. "forgiving of you, McCoy. Can't say that I'd be so kind if the positions were reversed."

"Oh, make no mistake. There will be some changes, and the understanding that if they try to turn my baby against me, they will never see her again. But denying Joanna the joys of having grandparents, that's something I'd rather avoid if possible."

Kirk shrugged, and made a dismissive gesture. "Suit yourself. If they overstep their bounds, let me know, and I'll take care of it."

McCoy resisted the urge to shudder at the thought of what 'taking care of it' would entail for the Coleman clan. "I'm sure that won't be necessary, for all I know they may not even want to see Joanna. Their involvement in the custody battle and divorce was more about wanting to avoid the scandal of having their daughter declared an unfit parent than anything else."

"Like I said, just say the word if need be. In the meantime something else came for you in the supply run."

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "Really, I wasn't expecting anything."

Kirk smiled and pulled the padd over, bringing up some information. "The paperwork I was waiting on came in from my lawyer. It took him a while to get everything sorted out, but I think you'll find everything suitable. If not, let me know and we'll make changes. Of course like all contracts, there is a lot of legal mumbo jumbo in here. If you'd like to run it by a lawyer, you're welcome to run it by mine, or you can ask Chris for some suggestions if you'd like someone not affiliated with me."

"That's very kind of you." McCoy was a bit surprised at the lengths that Kirk seemed willing to go to in order to make sure that his best interests were served in this process.

"I think you'll find me generous, at least in situations like these. I don't want to take advantage of you, McCoy, or trick you. That's not what this is about. So if running it by someone who can give you good advice will help you, then of course I want you to do that. I'm not Jocelyn. I'm not going to use your love for your child against you, or take advantage of the tendency that you have for self sacrifice to put you in a bad position. But I get that it will take you sometime to get accustomed to these things not being a battle. So call the lawyers if you need to." Kirk stood, and walking over to McCoy claimed his mouth in a gentle kiss.

"I'll be sparring with Sulu before my shift. You know where I am if you need me, otherwise I'll see you tonight for dinner." McCoy nodded, and then sat trying to process how much his world had just changed as Kirk left him alone with his thoughts.

AN: Hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter. As always reviews are love and greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading and I'll try to get an update to ya'll soon.

Next up: McCoy discovers just how generous Kirk can be, and Kirk has a conversation with our would be murderess.


	41. Chapter 41

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk has a 'conversation' with Janice.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Teris Xenite

Interrogation 1330

Kirk buffed his nails on his shirt and was the picture of nonchalance as Janice was hauled before him and strapped down into a chair. A sparing session with Sulu and this morning's interlude with his consort had calmed him to the point that he would be able to control himself long enough to make an example out of the traitorous bitch in front of him. The still stinging scratches on his back served as a pleasant reminder that McCoy was still hale and hearty despite Janice's best efforts to harm him. Now it was time that Kirk insured that he stayed that way.

Once she was strapped down, Kirk nodded to Chekov, who proceeded to move to the peripheral of the room to await further instructions. This was not the first time that he had worked with Kirk during an interrogation. He acknowledged that such experiences were privileges, and he had no desire to make Kirk angry enough that he would send him away. After all the Captain always did make people scream and beg so very prettily.

After allowing Janice to feel her captivity for a few moments, Kirk looked up and pinned her with his stare. She resisted the urge to gasp, as she realized that she had made a colossal error. The man standing before her was not the sweet man from her memory who had teased her, and made her so faint with pleasure that she had begged for a respite. This was someone entirely different, and she found him oddly even more disconcerting than Pike. At least with Pike she hadn't expected to be able to use some level of influence over him.

Realizing that this would not be the case, and that she was very likely going to die, and horribly so she began to tremble. Kirk surveyed the ruin of her face, and then proceeded to examine the damage that was still visible from her interrogation. Drugs kept her functional, and a mind meld with Spock kept her lucid. Now all that remained what was precisely Kirk intended to do with her. She wondered if preemptive begging would help her, but just as she was preparing to plead Kirk spoke.

"You have any recent head injuries, Janice?"

"No?" She stammered her reply, confused by the unexpected question.

"Engaged in heavy binge drinking, or drug use?" He paused a moment, and when he received no answer continued. "I'm going to take that as a no. That rules out traumatic brain injury then. Which leaves me with the question of what the hell happened to you since the last time I saw you? Because you were not this stupid when I was fucking you."

Kirk noted with satisfaction the slight flinch at both the insult, and the crass reference to their time together. Janice had, bless her poor stupid little heart, believed herself to be in love with Kirk. She'd had no idea what she'd been crawling into bed with at the time, and he'd had the good manners to leave her with naught but a few pleasant memories. If anyone in her world had truly cared about her, they would have convinced her to count her blessings and left things at that.

She had been exceedingly lucky to be left with only a broken heart after her clumsy attempts at trapping him, and there was no guarantee that the next man she tried her tricks on would be so kind. After all Pike wasn't the only one who liked to break pretty little girls who over reached themselves. And Janice certainly had over reached herself, thinking that a few dances and a tumble or two made her special to him, well that was her first mistake. That mistake hadn't been fatal. Attempting to kill his consort, most certainly would be. "Help me understand this, Janice. Why would you do something so stupid?"

There was an insanity in her eyes as they met his own that would have frightened a lesser man. Having not been in the practice of mingling with lower officers before they'd survived their first month, he couldn't say if the madness had been there when she'd boarded his ship, or if it had developed as a result of Pike's 'corrective measures'. Of course had he known the answer to that, the whole line of thought would be moot, because he would have chucked her ass off his ship at the first habitable planet they'd found. And if he'd felt generous, he might have even let Starfleet know where to pick her up.

Okay if he was honest, the habitable part of the plan would have been negotiable. It would have likely depended on how good a mood he was in when he'd found out about her little intrigue. Granted he tended to be in a good mood more often than not these days, but still people lying to him and thinking that he wasn't smart enough to catch them also tended to piss him off.

"Isn't it obvious, Jim? If I can't have you no one will."

He'd forgotten how particularly narrow she was in her scope. While he did have to admire her good taste in obsessions, her actions lacked a certain finesse. She'd been sloppy, and that was one sin he could not forgive. "So you thought that by attacking my consort you'd win me back? Really Janice, I'd expected better of you. That is just pathetic."

"No, the love that you have for that sweet, gentle, simpering fool is pathetic. I hurt him, meant to kill him, because I knew it would hurt you. I didn't want you back. I wanted you to suffer."

Hearing her slander McCoy made his hands itch to close around her throat. He knew it would take little for her last sight to be him as he crushed her under his hands, but that wasn't the point of this little exercise. Like Janice, it wasn't enough to have his prey eliminated. He wanted her to suffer, and to do that she had to live. More than that, he had to get inside her head and figure out why she'd chosen this moment and this method. Once he understood her motivation, he could best know how to break her.

"Now such hostility, that's a little uncalled for don't you think? I was far kinder to you than I'd any reason to be."

She barked with laughter tinged with desperation. "Kind he says, kind. You offer me a glimpse of a world that I can only dream of, let me get close enough to something effulgent and ethereal to touch it. Then you leave me alone with the knowledge I can never hold that which I cherished again. You call that kind?"

"I left you with your life. It was a good deal kinder than I had to be, and far kinder than others would have been." There was Kirk thought to himself a great deal of truth in his statement, Janice had proved clingy and annoying, had no family connections to speak of, and he'd have gotten at most a slap on the wrist if he'd eliminated her after their liaison had ended. The question remained however, why she didn't see his actions as generous instead of a personal affront.

"You left me with a half life and no possibility to improve upon it. No one of any consequence would have anything to do with me once you'd left." The bitterness was cloying in her tone, and he thought that it was no wonder that other's hadn't been interested in her. How could they be when instead of focusing on what could be she had been lost in what had been?

"So it's my fault that no one wants anything to do with you?" He barely kept his derision for the thought out of his voice, but had to admit an interest in seeing what how the twisted labyrinths of her mind worked. It would be interesting to figure out how precisely she'd made everything his fault, and not her own.

"No one of any importance wanted to risk offending you." A hint of desperation appeared now, a ferverish need to maintain that this was so, that she wasn't to blame began to reveal itself in her voice and posture. Kirk smiled. It would be far, far easier to break her than he'd thought.

"And the dozens of other women that I've slept with that found themselves in advantageous positions after sharing my bed, those were just anomalies. Did it ever occur to you that no one wanted you, because you're damaged? That it could have something to do with the fact that your bat shit insane? And that's by my very liberal standards for crazy." He reached over and patted her scarred cheek, as one would when dealing with a child.

"No, I don't guess you ever figured out that it was you that was broken. If it hadn't been me that they had been scared of, it would have been someone else's fault. Now the only question remains is what am I to do with you." He stood seemingly pondering her fate, all the while observing her. When she was fairly twitching from the suspense, he spoke.

"I've thought about this long and hard, Janice. I obviously can't let you go. That'd set a bad example and would no doubt come back to bite me in the ass. I do after all have a reputation to maintain." He stroked his chin seemingly considering. "Still, an execution is just too neat a repayment for what you'd planned. You went after my consort. That means that you have to die slow and bloody. There's just no way around that. I can't give you back to Pike, because he'd have you back to slobbering insanity within the hour, and that just won't do."

He noted that she trembled at the mention of Pike's name, and knew that as long as she lived the Admiral would be a source of nightmares for her. He smiled at this thought, and forced her chin up to meet his eyes. "This is how this is going to play out. You will die for what you attempted to do here. But it will be at a place and time of my choosing. It may be tomorrow, or a year from now, maybe even next week. In the meantime you are going to deal with the indignity of walking around with those grotesque scars Pike left you with. No doctor in the Empire will touch them, or you, for fear of ended up in the swamps of Dagobah."

He reached into his pocket, and when his hand emerged he held it cupped with a small chunk of silicon and wires in his hand. "I'm sure you're wondering what this little beauty is, and what if anything it has to do with you. So, why don't I enlighten you?"

He stroked the back of her neck just at the base of her skull causing her to wince as he put pressure on what appeared to be a still healing incision. "One of these chips is imbedded right about here, right above your brainstem. Any attempt to remove it, deactivate it, or modify it will cause it to self destruct. Now I don't have to tell you what that would do to you do I." He saw the realization in her eyes as she realized the damage that the chip could do if detonated.

"It also has a fascinating side benefit." He reached over to the table, and picked up a small white box. With a press of a button she was screaming, contorting in agony, and spasming against her bonds. He let this continue for a good length of time, until her voice had began to go hoarse, and finally released the button.

He walked over and pulled her head up from where it had sunk against her chest during the demonstration. He met her eyes and determined that they were lucid enough for him to continue. "I can trigger that reaction, anytime, and anywhere. Furthermore, I can detonate the device, or leave the device engaged until your body can't take it anymore and you die from the prolonged adrenaline spike. It is rigged to let me know if you come into the same area of the galaxy that I'm in. Any action that you take against me, any plot that you might come up with will rapidly lead to you stroking out on the floor of whatever rat infested shit hole that you manage to find for yourself."

He pressed his fingers over the incision site once more, and gestured for Chekov to come forward. "It would be in your best interest to behave Janice, and hope that in time I'll forget all about you. The more you bring attention to yourself, the more that you suffer before you die." He turned to Chekov. "Get this trash off my ship Chekov."

"Aye aye Keptin." Chekov half marched half drug the still trembling woman down the corridor, her screams rattling in the halls, echoing long after she was gone. Kirk watched in satisfaction as the escape pod that he'd prepared earlier was launched, with the former Starfleet officer Janice Lester on board. He wondered how she'd fair on the hostile planet that he'd sent her to, with no connections, not a penny to her name, and the ever present threat of death. All things considered, he gave it a month before she was slitting her own wrists just to get the suspense over with.

Of course she had no way of knowing that the device had a limited range, or that he intended to forget that she ever existed after the first few intense sessions to make his point blatantly obvious. He had bigger fish to fry, and in the scheme of things, Janice Lester would go down as an unimportant footnote in the history of the Empire. James T. Kirk, however, was not destined to mediocrity, and as such did not have an abundance of time to spend on those as unimportant as the now disgraced Dr. Lester.

Now, with this bit of unpleasant business handled, it was time to get back to more important matters. As he stretched the scratches on his back stung, and made him think of his consort. The thought brought a smile to his face, and he acquired McCoy's location from the ship's computer. As he set off in his consort's direction, he whistled a happy tune, all the while pressing the small white button in time to the happy tune.

AN: I have no idea where this came from. I hope ya'll liked it, and would appreciate comments or criticisms. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up shortly, as it will be infinitely more fun to write.

Next Up: McCoy and Kirk discuss the root of all evil. Kirk demonstrates his extreme satisfaction with his 'purchase'.


	42. Chapter 42

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk has fun with his consort.

Through A Mirror Darkly

ISS Enterprise Corridor 1430

Kirk had been walking behind McCoy unnoticed for several moments, and made a note that he needed to work with McCoy about being more aware of his surroundings. Granted, he was one of the best at approaching a target unnoticed, so there really was no reason to expect McCoy to be able to detect him. But still it didn't do to condone or excuse sloppiness, especially not when practice could mean the difference between life and death.

For the moment, however, his consort's obliviousness served him well. He waited until McCoy was walking past a darkened passage before he closed the distance between the two of them, and pinned McCoy with his face against the wall. He had to give McCoy credit, if his reactions had been just a tad slower the hypo in his hand would have likely found a home in Kirk's shoulder. As it was it dropped uselessly to the floor.

He smiled and pressed his lips to the nape of McCoy's neck. "Easy now, no need for that, it's just me." He noticed with satisfaction that the tension that had filled McCoy frame at being pinned eased when he heard Kirk's voice, and the trembling that accompanied an adrenaline spike or nerves ceased before it had truly begun. He loosened his hold enough to allow McCoy to turn and face him.

"God damn it, Jim, I thought we'd talked about the not sneaking up from behind." There was an unmistakable annoyance in McCoy's voice, and he couldn't tell if it was at being pinned or fear of what might have happened had he stabbed Kirk before he recognized him. Kirk hoped it was the latter, but the matter would require more investigation to be sure. The dark glare that McCoy was sending his way didn't give much of an indication of the reason for his discontent, only the magnitude.

"Mh, too tempting to resist." He smiled at McCoy and tilted his chin for a proper kiss, letting his fingers skim over McCoy's jaw before reaching for his hair. Even as annoyed as he appeared McCoy arched into his touch. So he was more inclined to believe that it was distress at that thought of stabbing him with something nasty, and not annoyance at being manhandled.

His mood considerably lighter he decided that it was time for him to soothe the ruffled feathers that he'd caused. "No offense intended, Bones, but I knew that you weren't actually going to hit me. I'd been following you since Engineering. Besides, I dodge people who are actually trying to kill me on a regular basis, if I'm slow enough for you to tag me with that, I deserve whatever's in it."

McCoy's scowl deepened at the mention of the murder attempts that Kirk encountered, and Kirk realized belatedly that while it did lend a certain perspective to the danger level of sneaking up on his consort, it wasn't likely to do much to calm said consort. "I doubt you'd be so complacent when your balls were the size of grapefruit and you were covered in a purple rash."

Kirk winced at that, death was one thing. But threatening his balls, that was an entirely different matter. Still, this wasn't quite the tone he'd meant to set for this conversation, and grapefruit sized testicles did give him an opportunity to lighten the mood. "Remind me not to piss you off. Seriously McCoy, what is it with you and the balls?"

McCoy shrugged. "It's normally the most effective way to get a man's attention. Cause that to happen once, he won't bother you again."

"Don't think you have to worry about anyone else bothering you for a very long time. That's why I came to find you. I thought you might want to know that Janice has been dealt with. After that lovely example, I'm sure the rest of the crew will have enough sense to steer clear of you."

"Do I want to ask?" There was nervousness in McCoy's tone that he just couldn't hide. It wasn't that he was happy that Janice had tried to kill him, but despite that the idea of someone being killed for his benefit still unnerved him.

Kirk rolled his eyes at the question, and then sighed. "I didn't kill her if that's what you're asking. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to. But since you have this weird hang up about me not killing people for you, she's still breathing. Mind you, I make no promises if she ignores my warnings and comes after you again." He looked, McCoy realized like a spoilt child who had just had a favorite toy taken away. Could it be that the fearsome Captain Kirk was pouting? He had obviously really wanted to kill Janice, but he hadn't. Because he knew it would upset him. Was this what Winona had been talking about when she said that he had power despite being in a subservient position?

"I dropped her on a planet capable of supporting life, with a dishonorable discharge, and some very strong notations in her file that no one is to repair the scars Pike left, or remove the tracking chip M'Benga implanted. But thanks to your nagging need to preserve life, she's still breathing, though I doubt she'll thank you for it." Kirk still sounded disappointed that nothing more final had been done to the woman, and McCoy could almost feel the desire that Kirk had to see things to their bloody conclusion. To know that he had forgone that satisfaction, out of consideration for his feelings, well that was no small thing.

It appeared that Kirk really was trying to make him more comfortable with him, and not repeat things that pushed him away. Given the magnitude of the effort, some bending was needed on his part as well. "I appreciate your restraint. It means a lot to me."

Kirk saw the relaxed face of his consort, the warm smile that reached his eyes, and decided that it was worth his while to get rid of Janice quietly later. If a bit of discretion would earn him such affection, he'd be willing to consider getting rid of his enemies more quietly in the future. It wasn't quite as satisfying as a showy execution. But there were, he admitted, other benefits.

McCoy noticed the brilliance of Kirk's eyes when he gave him his thanks for not killing to avenge him, and saw that the man almost seemed to be basking in his approval. He'd have to watch Kirk's reactions more carefully in the future, but it did appear that this was far less one sided than he'd feared. If a simple thank you was all it took to get this kind of reaction, then the Captain had his own baggage that was weighing in on things. McCoy normally prided himself on being a good observer of behavior, but during much of their acquaintance he'd spent a fairly large portion of his time avoiding being alone with Kirk. And it was certainly true that the image that he portrayed in public and the one that McCoy was catching a glimpse of now were two very different entities.

Kirk drew his attention back with a sharp nip to the side of his neck, soothed by the warm laving of his tongue over the sting. Surprised as he was by the sensation McCoy couldn't help a startled gasp, which made Kirk chuckle. "I just wanted to let you know that the situation had been handled. Where are you headed?"

"I'm heading back to our quarters, just taking a walk to clear my head in between paper work. What about you?"

"Heading to Engineering to go over some modifications with Scotty. He swears he's figured out a way to get us up to Warp 10." He noticed McCoy's quickening breath and cursed himself for momentarily forgetting McCoy's aviophobia. "Don't worry, I won't let him blow anything up. That's why I'm heading to Engineering. We've got a deal, Scotty and I. Any extreme changes to the engines has to be run by me first, and if it looks wonky I run it by Spock and Chekov before I let him implement it."

He cupped McCoy's cheek and gave him a quicksilver grin. "I haven't let us get blown up yet, now have I? I don't intend to start now." He gave the nape of McCoy's neck a squeeze. "Come on, I'll walk you home. How's the paperwork coming?"

"Slow and steady, finally got through all of the gobbledy gook I needed to make sure Joanna's looked after should anything happen to me, now that her mother is gone."

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Bones. And even if anything did, I'd make sure Joanna was taken care of."

"I appreciate that, but as you just pointed out, neither of us has a lifestyle conducive to long life expectancies. I know that you'd look after Jo if you were able, but I'd prefer not to leave anything to chance where she's concerned."

"Can't fault you there." By this point the two of them had reached the entrance to their quarters. Kirk leaned over and kissed McCoy, and gestured towards their quarters. "I'll leave you to it then. Remember what I said about the lawyers. I'll see you tonight after shift." He turned and left with a smile, and if McCoy happened to watch as he departed with something that approached admiration, well that was no one's business.

Captain's Quarters 2000

Kirk stepped into his quarters, and felt a wave of satisfaction wash over him as he took in the sight of his consort, hunched over the desk with papers sprawled across the table top. There was a pad to his right, probably containing a legal dictionary knowing Bones, and a half empty forgotten coffee mug to his left. The scene was reminiscent of the times that Kirk had covertly watched the man study while they were in the academy, from the somewhat organized chaos, to the furrow of McCoy's brow.

The intense look of concentration had always been a turn on for Kirk, and he'd spent many a frustrated night either in the shower handling his own discomfort or later on letting the sycophantic social climbers suck him off. Both of these had been insurance against pinning McCoy to the desk, and having his wicked way with him. Knowing what he knew now he was more grateful than ever that he had maintained his restraint, as given how damaged McCoy's psyche was in that area he'd have been trading a momentary thrill for a lifetime of distrust.

Now, well that was a different matter. Now he could sweep the papers off the desk and pin McCoy against it, but that just seemed cruel considering how many hours he'd been working on it. No, best save that particular fantasy for a night when so much time hadn't been invested on the contents of the desktop. After all they had a perfectly serviceable chair at their disposal, and if he really wanted a tabletop experience, there was always the dining room.

Kirk walked over towards McCoy, drawing his attention when his shadow fell on the paperwork that McCoy was hunched over. He looked up, with a wince at the stiffness in his neck, and seemed surprised to see Kirk standing there. "Is it end of shift already?" He asked with a slight tone of disbelief.

Kirk felt a surge of fond amusement, and smiled. Some things never changed. Give McCoy a problem and he'd work himself into the ground trying to figure it out. "Yeah, it is. Have you been working on this since I left?"

"I didn't realize that it had gotten so late." McCoy brought a hand up to knead the sore muscles at the base of his neck, and stretched his shoulders in a way that made Kirk want to taste them.

"Come on, I think you are well overdue for a break."

"I'm almost done."

The protest was a familiar one, and Kirk took it in stride. "You already finished updating your will right?"

McCoy shot him a confused look. "Well yes, are we going to be doing something that will make that document necessary?"

"No, any dying tonight will be of the small pleasurable variety. But the will update was the only real vital piece of paperwork for the day. The rest of this can wait till tomorrow. For now, I think it's time for us to have a nice dinner, and for me to see if I can't come up with some way to relax these knots." As he steered them towards the dinner table he brought his fingers up to the base of McCoy's neck and began attacking the knotted muscles that he found there eliciting a mewling moan from McCoy.

"Damn McCoy, you always get this tense when you do paperwork?" His only answer was to nod and arch back into the probing fingers even as he winced. "Well that explains why you're so damn cranky when you get behind on it. Can't you delegate some of it?"

"Wouldn't trust someone else to do it right." McCoy continued wincing and arching into the talented fingers as Kirk maneuvered him until he was straddling one of the dining room chairs. A quick search of the room produced a pillow, which Kirk placed between McCoy's chest and the seat before pushing him forward to lean over the chair.

"Well then it looks like we'll just have to deal with the after effects." Strong fingers dug into the knots and attacked the tightly corded muscles of McCoy's neck. McCoy's involuntary sighs and gasps make Kirk's blood stir, and as McCoy began to slump over the chair in relaxation Kirk leaned forward and placed a kiss on his neck. His lips traced a path from McCoy's neck up towards his ear. As his hands kneaded McCoy's shoulders, his breath tickled McCoy's ear and he smiled as he felt McCoy shudder. "Any objections to having desert first?"

"Don't think that you're getting out of those vegetables I promised earlier."

Kirk chuckled and reached an arm around McCoy's shoulders pulling him flush with chest. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Well, in that case I suppose it can't hurt anything just this once." Kirk chuckled at the answer, and continued laughing as he maneuvered and manhandled McCoy out of his clothes and into the bedroom. Then as his eyes met McCoy's and he saw the hints of warmth there that the doctor would likely deny to his last breath, he didn't feel like laughing anymore. A smile so wide that it made his face ache in all the most pleasant of ways took the place of the laughter. It was he mused as he returned his attention to giving McCoy multiple reasons to keep smiling at him in just that perfect way, a great day to be alive.

AN: Hope ya'll enjoyed it, and that everyone had an awesome Thankgiving. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter out soonish. In the meantime let Kirk know if you're enjoying his story, he's high maintenance and requires frequent petting.

Next chapter: Trouble in paradise for Kirk and McCoy.


	43. Chapter 43

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: My muse decided that McCoy and Kirk were feeling way too damn good. Thus it gets ugly.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 0300

Kirk woke the next morning, and sparing a smile for his sleeping consort he carefully untangled himself from the arms that McCoy had wrapped around him. He quietly rose from the bed and headed into the shower, moving carefully in the darkness so as not to wake McCoy. He hummed as he stood under the spray, and after his shower he stepped into his captain's uniform. It never failed to thrill him to slide on his command gold, and as he moved to his office for his first cup of coffee he mused that it was good to be king. As nice as it would have been to spend the morning with McCoy, he let him sleep. He wasn't scheduled until Beta shift, and though his recovery had been swift, Kirk still felt like he could use the extra sleep.

Kirk cursed as he realized that in his efforts to be stealthy this morning, he'd forgotten the pad that contained the files that he needed to read over and approve this morning for requisitioning the materials and equipment that McCoy had requested for Med Bay. So calling upon his famed stealth he snuck back into the bedroom, and retrieved the pad from the bedside table. He glanced at McCoy's slumbering form, and felt a wave of tenderness as he took in the bed head that gave him the urge to straighten the wayward locks with his fingers. Of course the fact that McCoy's arm had stretched across to Kirk's side of the bed almost as if he were reaching for him didn't hurt either.

The movement had left McCoy bare from the chest up, and while Kirk did appreciate the sight, their quarters were kept on the cool side precisely to encourage the cuddling behavior that McCoy seemed so naturally prone to anyway. Kirk pulled the covers back over his consort, not wanting him to catch a chill, as a sick and miserable consort was nowhere near as much fun to play with as a happy healthy one was. The movement, however well intended, disturbed McCoy, and he blinked up owlishly at Kirk.

"Jim, what's going on? What time is it?" The words were slurred by residual slumber, and Kirk felt his dick clench at the raspy and deeply accented voice that apparently was part and parcel of his consort before he had his first cup of coffee. He made a mental note to wake McCoy up with early morning sex the next time that the opportunity arose so that he could enjoy this discovery. For the moment however, he needed to leave McCoy to his rest, and he needed to make his way to the bridge.

"Sh, relax and go back to sleep, I'm heading to the bridge for Alpha shift, you've got hours before you have to be up yet." He was mildly amused when, instead of being contrary as was his wont McCoy merely grunted and burrowed back under the covers. He heard the easing of McCoy's breathing into the steady rhythm of slumber as he hit the door. Kirk realized that even though he regretted having to leave McCoy abed, there was some small part of him that would think of the ease with which McCoy had settled into his bed and be content.

Of course such sentimentality was for lesser men that bad ass feared through the known galaxy starship captains, so he made sure to wipe the grin off his face before he stepped out of his quarters. Granted, he could have used the exercise that an assassination attempt would provide, but the next acquisition of crew members would be a few weeks out. No need to thin the ranks prematurely, as all that led to was longer shifts for his competent crew members, and an overall annoyed crew.

Deeming that he wouldn't bait the new recruits who were too stupid to know better yet, he carefully schooled his face to a fearsome expression that incited fear in the weaker of them and respectful wariness in the wiser ones, as he strode through the halls. As he took his seat on the bridge, the day began to take on a relatively normal tone, and he found himself lost in the minutia involved in conquering planets and shedding the light of the Empire on those worlds still ignorant of its superiority.

Captain's Quarters 0900

McCoy sat reviewing the paperwork that he'd completed the night before, and was just about to start reading the paperwork that Kirk's lawyer had sent over when the familiar, but still annoying chime pierced the stillness of the room. "Dr. McCoy, personal communication on channel one." A nod to the new ensign who'd gotten stuck with early morning communications duty, and the call was connected to reveal his sister's face. She looked disheveled and distressed, and despite himself he felt a moment of panicked concern.

"Cassie, what's wrong?"

"Oh, Lee, it's awful, I had to make sure you were alright, because I just didn't see how you could be. Not when you had to accept help from that horrible man."

"I'm fine Cassie, now what are you talking about?"

"The DeWinters' family, they've been eliminated. All of them, every man, woman, and child, just gone. No one can prove anything of course, but everyone knows that it was Kirk's doing. Oh, Lee, what can I do?"

"You don't need to do anything, Cassie. I'm fine. He hasn't hurt me, I promise. And I'm sure that it's not as bad as what people say, you know what mama used to tell us about gossip."

"Lee, they're all dead. It doesn't get much worse than that. And you're chained to a murdering tyrant. How can that possibly be ok?"

McCoy took a deep breath and sighed. "I told you, Cassie. He hasn't hurt me, and no one can prove that it was Kirk who killed the DeWinters. Given the jackass that they raised, it's not entirely out of the realm of possibilities that they pissed off someone else."

"Lee, I know you weren't fond of him, but Marcus was a fine man."

"That fine man killed Jocelyn and meant to sell my daughter to a pedophile, Cassie. I think you and I might have different ideas about what exactly a 'fine man' is." McCoy had to give her credit, she blanched at the mention of Jocelyn, and went positively green at the mention of what had been planned for Joanna. "Look, I'll see what if anything I can find out about the DeWinters. In the mean time try not to jump to conclusions, I'm doing fine. Now I've got to go or I'll be late for my shift."

McCoy cut the feed and dropped his head into his hands. Despite what he'd told his sister, he had little doubt that what had happened to the DeWinters had been a result of Kirk's vengeance. The timing was too convenient for it to be anything else. When DeWinters had ended up dead, he'd been too wrapped up in the Ethan Raines unpleasantness for it to register at more than a cursory level. But his whole family, every last man, woman, and child, if that were true then he was sleeping with a man who would commit mass murder on his behalf with nary a sign that anything untoward was going on. How was he supposed to deal with that?

He closed his eyes for a moment, and then pulled up the information on the DeWinters family, both in the local news, and the more likely to have meaningful information Starfleet file. As McCoy read the articles, he felt the sense of dread and panic that he'd been trying to hold off overwhelm him, along with a rising urge to be sick. Page after page of uncategorized deaths, with no sign of foul play listed on the autopsy reports pointed to a payoff, and given the number of deaths involved here it was a large one. That in and of itself didn't mean that it was Kirk, but it certainly made it more likely.

He called down to Med Bay, and ordered Chapel to get one of the other doctors to cover his shift. He logged himself in as being under medical leave, and then he proceeded to the bathroom, where he stood under the blazing heat of the shower that did nothing to warm him. Death itself wasn't something that he was unused to. No matter how good a doctor you were sometimes people just couldn't be saved. But deaths that occurred because of him, he didn't know how he was supposed to deal with that.

Captain's Quarters 1400

Kirk walked back into his quarters much more subdued than when he'd left them at the start of his shift. As he'd been dining with Spock in the mess hall, he'd heard one of McCoy's staff members expressing concern that Dr. McCoy had not returned to work today, as had been originally planned. This was troubling, not because McCoy didn't have a talented staff to cover for him while they were essentially floating in dead space, or that he didn't have the accrued leave time. Instead it was profoundly disturbing, because in the years that Kirk had known him, McCoy had never once willing taken a day off just because he damn well felt like it. He had to be bloody or exhausted beyond all reason.

A quick check of the duty roster for Med Bay revealed that McCoy was marked absent due to medical leave, and Kirk felt a growing sense of discontent as he read those words. McCoy had been fine when he'd left him, but in the course of a shift something had developed that prevented him from working his shift. After saying his goodbyes to Spock, he made his way back to his quarters. The log hadn't noted any admissions to Med Bay, so he was assuming that McCoy would be in their quarters.

He tried not to appear panicked as he looked around the room, searching out McCoy's whereabouts. His heart sank as his eyes landed on McCoy's slumped form, this was worse than he'd expected. He was sitting at the table, holding a glass of bourbon in one hand, and a picture in the other. There must have been bad news to have McCoy skipping work, and drinking so early in the day. But try as he might, Kirk couldn't figure out what it would be, he hadn't had any communications informing him that Joanna or McCoy's mother had been hurt, and he would have gotten those notifications. Try as he might he couldn't think of what else would affect McCoy so badly.

Finally he gave up trying to guess what was wrong, and resigned himself to asking. He walked over to McCoy, and Kirk sank onto the chair across from him slowly as not to startle McCoy. Then he caught a look at the picture that McCoy was holding. He cursed a mental blue streak in several languages as he saw what McCoy held. Kirk wondered just how in the hell McCoy had found out about that, this was beyond bad. As he was trying to figure out how to best defuse the situation, McCoy looked at him with sad, bloodshot eyes.

"Did you kill these people?" His voice was gravelly and strained, and the pain in it grieved Kirk. He'd never intended for McCoy to find out about this particular task, because he knew that the reaction would be something like he was witnessing now. Kirk debated lying, but knew that if he did and McCoy ever found out that he'd been deceived that the fallout would be far worse than what he faced now.

"Yes, McCoy, I did." He watched as the pain of that truth hit him, and he would have felt guilty for the act that caused McCoy's all too expressive eyes to shut against the pain of it. But despite McCoy's squeamishness the act had been necessary, so he couldn't truly regret it.

"Yes? That's it? Just yes? You admit to wiping out an entire family, and all you have to say for yourself is yes?" There was a panic note of disbelief coloring McCoy's tone.

"What would you like me to say, McCoy? That I feel really bad about it? I don't. That I'm sorry for it? I'm not." Jim shrugged, and that seemed to set McCoy off.

"You killed children, Jim. Children! You killed an entire family, and all you have to say when I ask you about it is yes. What have I ever done that would make you think that I wanted you to do something like this for me?" He threw the photos at Kirk, and gestured wildly. "What kind of monster are you that you can do that and not be sorry?"

Kirk looked at the photos dispassionately, then back to McCoy. "Monster am I? Isn't that what you were looking for doctor? Someone who would do what you didn't have the stomach for?" Try as he might to keep his voice even, Kirk had a hard time dealing with the accusation from McCoy, particularly when things had been going so well. He took a deep breath, and tried to find the calm that he needed to explain this to McCoy in a way that he could accept.

"I'm going to guess that whoever told you about this didn't have all their facts. I'm guessing that they probably didn't mention that a generous death settlement had been offered to the DeWinters, which they refused by the way. I'm guessing that they didn't mention that the reason for this over the top display was that not only did they refuse a death settlement, but that they hired an assassin to kill your mother, your daughter, and your sister. It seems that as you were out of their reach they decided to take it out on your family."

McCoy paled at that announcement. Apparently it hadn't crossed his mind that there would be repercussions for killing Marcus, even though he was a bastard who had deserved to die. "The assassin has been taken care of. As for the DeWinters, I saw a threat to your family, McCoy, the same family that you asked me to protect. I eliminated the threat, and I will not apologize for that. But since it seems that despite the fact that I've never harmed you or yours, and despite the fact that I've been nothing but good to you since you came to me, you still jump at the chance to see me as a monster, it seems like we do have a problem."

Jim's rant left him breathless and his eyes storming. McCoy had never seen Jim lose his temper quite so thoroughly, save the night when he found out that Gaila had been mistreated. He stood speechless as Kirk walked out the door to stalk off to parts of the ship unknown. As he looked at the scattered photos on the floor, and took in the suddenly silent room, he lowered his head into his hands and tried valiantly to stave off the impending headache.

As he looked at the door that Kirk had just vacated he sank back into the chair at a loss as to what his next move should be. And as he looked at the photos of the dead, and at the framed photo of the living breathing miracle that had set all this in motion, he didn't know how to reconcile the horror that he felt with the relief that the photos of the dead family weren't his own. He sat in the semi-darkness of the cabin, and sipped his bourbon hoping that somewhere in between the photos and the bottom of the glass he'd find some kind of clarity.

AN: There you have it, our boys first big fight. It seems that the boys hate Christmas, as I sat down to write Christmas fluff and this is what they sent me instead. I hope that everyone enjoyed it, and as always if it made you happy let me know. In case you haven't seen it yet, the companion piece that I promised this summer with McCoy as a hooker AU to Through A Mirror Darkly is up under the title Bought And Paid For. I hope that all of you had an amazing Christmas, and will try to get an update out by New Years, but I can't make any promises. I'll try not to drag it out too long, because the kids (me included) hate it when Mommy and Daddy fight. Thanks for reading.

Next up: McCoy reaches a decision, and someone offers Kirk a sympathetic ear.


	44. Chapter 44

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: My muse decided that McCoy and Kirk were feeling way too damn good. Thus it gets ugly.

Through A Mirror Darkly

ISS Enterprise Observation Deck 1600

Kirk sat in the observation deck, waiting for the stars to cool his raging temper. He didn't know what it was, but hearing McCoy call him a monster had stripped every bit of patience he'd had, and fried every last nerve. It wasn't that he hadn't heard the name before, it was a pretty common insult for what he was across the galaxy. He knew he wasn't a 'good' man, and couldn't feel but so bad about that as said 'good' men tended to die quickly, and die bloody. But still, coming from McCoy, the insult had hurt.

He'd never meant to tell McCoy that there had been assassins sent after his family. That wasn't something that he planned on sharing with the gentle man who shared his bed. But then he hadn't intended for McCoy to find out what had happened to the DeWinters clan either. He found he couldn't justify the deaths of said clan without explaining the precipitating event, given McCoy's lack of bloodlust. But even with that explanation he was left with a consort who thought him a monster, who was likely worried about his family, and so that left him here looking out at the stars.

He didn't look up when he heard the doors open, it wasn't as if being maudlin made him less dangerous, so that limited the number of people who would approach him off shift when he'd been purported to be in a foul mood. The footsteps were soft, and there was the slight swish of what he judged to be a skirt. It wasn't pronounced enough to be his mother, Gaila tended to wear the engineering coveralls with his and Spock's blessing, so that left one person. "What do you want Nytoa?"

"Well, I came to thank you for what you did for Gaila, but it sounds like you could use a friend." Kirk sent her a dark look as she sat down beside him, and he went back to starring at the stars without acknowledging her further. "Our fearsome captain starring out into space, that doesn't bode well. What's wrong, Jim?"Her smiled faded as he sighed, and turned further from her. "Come on, Jim, you might as well tell me, you know I'm not going to leave you like this?"

"What did I ever do to deserve such devotion?" The tone was sarcastic, but Nytoa knew that were Jim not in such a foul mood he'd be appreciative. That knowledge was what made her continue to press, Jim needed to talk to someone, but without someone to needle him he'd sit here and brood until the start of his shift tomorrow morning. Or worse take out his temper on whatever ensign was stupid enough to mistake his distraction for a sign of weakness.

"You asked me the hard questions about Spock, the ones nobody else would dare to. You helped me when I needed it, and you've been a good friend. Now stop sulking and let me return the favor. What happened with you and McCoy?"

Kirk raised an eyebrow, worried that it had been so easy for her to discern the cause of his melancholy. "How'd you know it was McCoy?"

"Come on Jim, I'm your chief communications officer, and bonded to a Vulcan, that would imply that I'm somewhat good at reading people. You've been on cloud nine the past few days, and suddenly you're sitting here starring out into space looking like you've lost your best friend. I'm pretty sure McCoy's the only one who could cause that kind of reaction, so what happened?"

"Apparently he feels my reaction to someone sending an assassin after his family was excessive."

"What did you do?" She raised an eyebrow. Kirk was known for definitive statements, but she hadn't seen anything particularly abnormal show up in the news feeds or scuttlebutt in the past few days, so she figured it couldn't be but so bad.

"Killed them all." He watched her face as she mulled over the admission.

Finally she shrugged. "Seems fair to me, and romantic even. But then you knew he was a little odd when you took him to bed."

"Yeah, I guess I did. But I don't know what to do. If I hadn't done what I had his family would have been hurt, but then he judges me a monster for doing what he asked me to do and protecting his family."

"He actually used the word monster?" At Kirk's wince she reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "No wonder you're so upset. He'll come around, Jim, you'll see."

"Things were going so well, and then this had to happen. He was just starting to warm up to me, Nyota. And the way he looked at me when he saw those pictures, I really don't know if he'll be able to let this go."

"Then he's a bigger fool than any of us thought. He'll realize that keeping those you love safe justifies a lot, and he'll come around, Jim. Just give him time."

Captains Quarters 1600

McCoy sat still nursing the drink that he'd held when Kirk had stormed out. The more he looked at the picture of Joanna, the more the memory of the sickening feeling that he'd had when he'd come to Kirk haunted him. He'd known who he was getting into bed with, Kirk wasn't a nice guy. Never had claimed to be, but so far he had bent over backwards to make and keep McCoy and his family happy. He couldn't see what possible danger a child could pose to Joanna, but then he hadn't thought that Marcus or Ethan's families might attempt retaliation either.

He acknowledged that without Kirk all he would have left of Joanna would be a memory, or worse the sound of her screams in his ears as Ethan carried out whatever sick plot he'd conducted. And that knowledge sank deep down into his gut, and weighed heavily on his bones. Kirk, so far as he could tell hadn't lied to him, kept things from him yes, but never directly lied. So if he said that what he'd done had been necessary to protect Joanna and his family, well then he had two choices.

He could protest that it was wrong and horrible, and maybe sway Kirk. But that might later cause Kirk not to act for fear of upsetting him, and that could cost him the life of someone close to him. Or he could accept what was done, and appreciate the results of the actions taken, though the methods still sickened him. Joanna was safe, his mother was happy, and if he was in the hands of a mad man, well at least they were gentle most of the time. He pushed the sickness that he felt at the death of a child, and embraced the gratitude that it wasn't his child. To do anything else, well in that lay madness.

Observation Deck 1630

McCoy walked into the observation deck with a knot in his stomach that had to do with a lot more than the fact that he was walking into an area of the ship that left him with no illusions that only a thin layer of metal and glass stood between him and the icy grip of space. Kirk's figure was plain, and it seemed that he and Uhura were engaged in a gripping conversation, with her arguing forcefully with an unconvinced Kirk. She saw him standing at the doorway first, and smiled at him, then ducked down to whisper something in Kirk's ear.

She stood and walked over to him, giving him a little nudge further into the room. He barely heard the click of her heels as she walked away over the staccato beat of his heart. He walked over to Kirk, trying and for the most part succeeded in controlling his trembling. The eyes that met his own betrayed none of the heat that had flared in them earlier, whatever break there was in Kirk's poker face was gone. The anger and if he wasn't mistaken hurt, that had flashed across Kirk's features earlier might not have been gone, but it certainly was buried deeply.

"Something you needed Dr. McCoy?" McCoy resisted the urge to wince at the coldness in Kirk's voice. This wasn't the playful, affectionate man that he'd been getting to know, nor was it the captain, though it tended far more towards the captain side of the dichotomy. McCoy realized that he'd never had Kirk mad at him personally. He'd been pissed about some of his decisions yes, like the too long shifts in Med Bay, but him personally no. He found that he didn't like the feel of it, somehow it felt off and just wrong and awkward.

McCoy sighed and met the cold eyes, and swallowed to get around the lump that had formed in his throat. "I came to say that I'm sorry. I asked you to protect my family and you've done more than keep your word on that front. I won't pretend to understand the methods you used, but if you thought it was necessary then I'm sure you had your reasons."

Kirk's hand snaked out and the next thing McCoy knew he found himself in an undignified pile on Kirk's lap. "You're right, I did have my reasons. I will do whatever is necessary to protect you and yours, McCoy. And I will not apologize for the actions I have to take to do that. Do we understand each other on that?"

McCoy swallowed thickly, and told the voice that railed against him for accepting this to shut it. Mercy and compassion were what had ended him up in this position to start with. "I understand."

"I'll accept questions and arguments in a lot of areas McCoy, but this isn't one of them. There may come a time when your safety or that of your family relies on you trusting my judgment, so you're going to have to decide if you're willing to trust me or not. You don't get to enjoy the benefits of my protection, and then revile me for the acts that lend you that protection."

"So you want me to accept without question?" McCoy felt his heart drop, he wasn't sure he could do what Kirk was asking him to do, even though he knew that he needed to desperately.

"Do you expect me to accept that I need a vaccine before I go onto a strange planet, because you tell me so?" McCoy nodded, and Kirk continued. "Then when I tell you that someone needed to be removed to keep your family safe, I expect the same. Acknowledging our strengths remember." He could see the warring emotions on McCoy's face, and he realized that getting to the point that McCoy automatically trusted his decisions might take years. The more that he thought about it, it wasn't that McCoy had questioned his decision that had bothered him. Instead it was that he'd assumed him a monster without questioning why he'd done what he'd done.

"The problem wasn't that you had questions, it was that you started making assumptions before you had all the facts. Just try looking at the big picture next time. The important part of this equation isn't what was done, but why. Instead of finding that out, which I would have told you, by the way if you'd just asked me, you immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion. I am a bastard, McCoy. I maim and kill people, and do all other manner of things that I'm sure you wouldn't approve of. But I thought we'd established by now, I don't do things like this for kicks."

Kirk sighed deeply and cupped his cheek, before allowing his fingers to play in the end of McCoy's hair. He gave a bittersweet smile, and seemed to just enjoy the feel of McCoy's presence for a moment. "This only works if you trust me not to be an unspeakable bastard. I thought that you were starting to understand that if nothing else." He felt a tremor run through McCoy, and he wasn't sure if it was the fact that he was surrounded by incontrovertible evidence that he was floating through space, or if he was frightened of Kirk.

Kirk felt his anger leave him as he held McCoy close, both the apology and the rant doing a great deal to assuage his frustrations. It meant a lot for McCoy to seek him out here, to apologize, knowing that he faced an uncertain reception and one of his greatest fears. Another day he might see if he couldn't distract McCoy from said fear, but for the moment, he wanted to mend the breach between the two of them before it got any wider. "Come on, let's continue this conversation somewhere a little less prone to make you hyperventilate."

McCoy cast a wary glance towards the stars, and took a deep shuttering breath. "That would be greatly appreciated." Kirk steadied McCoy as he rose, and then stood beside him. As the two left the observation deck, Kirk gave one lingering glance towards the stars. One of these days he'd work on getting McCoy to see the beauty of the view beyond the terror, but decided that McCoy's horizons had been stretched far enough for the moment.

The two men were quiet on their way back to quarters, and McCoy held his tongue as he was steered back to the table that he'd recently vacated, and Kirk fixed each of them a drink. He sat the drinks down, and sat in the chair across from McCoy, picking up the discarded photos. He thumbed through them idly before stopping at one of the most horrific, the still form of a small child lying face down, no older than Joanna, and small for that age at that. He laid it on the table between them, and met McCoy's eyes. "I'm guessing that this is what set you off? The 'children'?"

McCoy swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat and wordlessly nodded. "I'm sure you're thinking to yourself what danger could a child possibly pose to your family, right? And thinking that this is barbaric and excessive," Kirk continued on before he could affirm those thoughts. "No need to answer that McCoy, I think we've argued just about enough for one day. It's important to remember, that things are not always what they seem. You ever spend any time with the DeWinters family?"

"Holiday parties, and the like. Marcus and I worked together before-" He trailed off remembering the sight of Jocelyn in bed with the man that he'd believed was his friend.

"Before he stole your wife and family from you, yes, I know all about that. For that alone he deserved to die, but his family, do you ever remember seeing this child with them? Did Joanna ever play with him, ever see him come to visit his daddy at work?"

McCoy thought back on it, and realized that while the other two names of the children listed on the coroners reports he recognized, this child was unknown to him. He thought on it, and realized that given the age listed, he would have most likely met the boy, as he would have shared schools, and play dates with Joanna, as the other two DeWinters children had. "No, I can't say that I do remember the boy."

He looked at Kirk quizzically asking with his eyes and posture what he dare not say with his mouth. The accusation of 'he was still a child, what does it matter if I remember him or not' practically screamed at Kirk from the tense fingers on McCoy's whiskey glass, and the flushed face that had little to do with the whiskey he'd consumed. "If that strikes you as odd, it should. The DeWinters clan only had two living children. This boy, well he wasn't actually a child at all. Ever run across a Suliban in your xenobiology studies?"

"A shape shifter?" McCoy looked puzzled. "Why would then need a-"

"A shape shifter that looked like a child? That would be the assassin that they meant to send after your daughter. Make the threat look human, fake a background, pay the little tikes tuition, and off he goes to school."

"But the other two, they were human. I remember them." McCoy thought of the little girl who'd used to play with Joanna, and the older boy who'd pulled his sister's pigtails.

Kirk sighed at the look on McCoy's face, and after a moment of consideration fixed him with a stare. "This is never to be mentioned outside of this room." Kirk went to the computer in his quarters, and with some computer magic that mystified McCoy he pulled up a file on the two children. "Those two are happily living on New Vulcan with Ambassador Spock, after having their minds very thoroughly wiped. But it serves our purposes much, much better if no one else knows that. I do have a reputation to maintain after all."

McCoy looked at the neutral expressions that the children wore in the photo, and recognized the steps of the New Vulcan High Council chambers. He looked back at Kirk dumbfounded. "But why go to all the trouble to make everyone think they're dead then?"

"Because I couldn't afford to let them live with the memory of what they'd lost. Children remember, McCoy, and they don't stay children forever. I didn't want this coming back to bite us in the ass ten years from now. And it will give anyone who thinks about touching what's mine pause, when they remember the how the DeWinters ended up when they tried it."

Kirk shrugged. "I needed the kids out of sight, New Vulcan needs children, and the Ambassador wanted to play around with the idea of transferring Vulcan knowledge to humans via mind meld. If they can transfer the knowledge, then a lot of the girls who currently end up in state homes will likely get shipped to New Vulcan instead."

"Why?"

"Spock's living proof that hybrids are possible, even though the cross species reproduction is kind of sticky, and Vulcan's pretty desperate for females. Humans kept from childhood would be easily controlled, and make relatively expendable broodmares from their perspective I would imagine."

"That's just disturbing."

"And that's a bridge that the Empire can cross when it becomes an issue, for the moment however, you can stop with the existential crisis. The children are fine, and being well treated. Their parents were fools, they got what they deserved, and your family is safe. Anymore complaints or questions before we put this topic under the heading of things not to be discussed ever again?"

"I don't know what to say, I never would have expected this." He gestured widely indicating the pictures of both the smiling children and the dead Subilan.

"I don't deny that I can be a ruthless bastard McCoy, but killing children is not something I'm fond of doing. I will if I have too, in this case I didn't." He finished his drink, and sat the glass on the table with a thud. "Now, since we've got all that settled, I believe I heard an apology in that conversation. That would mean that we've officially had, and resolved our first fight. And with neither of us bruised or bloodied, who would have thought?"

He pulled McCoy to him, and cut off any remark that he would have made with a heated mass of teeth and tongue. After a moment, heated and breathless, McCoy pulled away. "What are you doing?"

Kirk rolled his eyes. "Honestly, McCoy, you were in a relationship that ended in a divorce so damn messy that you had to leave the planet, and you don't grasp the concept of makeup sex? I have so very, very much to teach you."

AN: Greetings gentle readers, and there we have the resolution of Kirk and McCoy's first (though certainly not the last) big fight. As a side note, I haven't been able to watch the episodes of Enterprise to verify that Sulibans can appear in human form, but everything I found them classifies them as shape shifters. If they can't take on human form, someone please let me know, and give me a lead on Star Trek species that can both shape shift into human form, and be killed. As always thanks for reading, and please do let me know what you think.

Next up: Makeup sex, and we finally get to see what Kirk had his lawyers draw up.


	45. Chapter 45

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk and McCoy having had their first fight, now mend fences.

Through A Mirror Darkly

McCoy wasn't quite sure how he ended up pinned to the wall, wasn't really sure of much of anything except the fact that for all that Kirk might be a vicious bastard, he was most assuredly a fabulous kisser. Kirk pulled back and looked at him with heated eyes. "You are wearing way too many clothes." Then Kirk's lips were back on his and the sound of rending fabric filled the air, as Kirk ripped his shirt sending buttons scattering across the room. McCoy shuddered at both the sudden exposure to the cool air of the cabin and the hungry eyes consuming every millimeter of him that there was to see.

Then eyes were replaced with strong hands and warm mouth, as Kirk pressed him harder against the wall. As Kirk placed his marks of passion and protection on McCoy's bared neck, his hands found the closure of McCoy's pants and divested him of them, leaving him standing in a loose puddle of fabric. Kirk's lips quirked up at the feel of McCoy's arousal pressed against him. The smile was just barely perceptible to McCoy as Kirk pressed scorching kisses along his jaw.

McCoy's hands came to rest on Kirk's shoulders, and he gave an annoyed growl when instead of the warm skin he was seeking his hands encountered only the fabric of Kirk's uniform. Kirk didn't resist as McCoy ineffectively tried to remove his tunic while Kirk's talented lips and tongue made his eyes cross and his legs go weak. Finally taking pity on the exasperated doctor, he stepped back slightly and pulled the tunic over his head. He reached into his pocket and reserving only one solitary item that he found there discarded the lower half of his uniform as well.

Deft fingers opened the tube of lubricant, which he used to slick himself, and then coat his fingers. McCoy kicked away the potentially confining pile of fabric, and Kirk pulled one leg up to wrap around his waist while he readied McCoy for him. McCoy gasped as Kirk's fingers entered him. "You okay?" Kirk stilled his fingers as he waited for McCoy's answer. McCoy's answering growl of frustration and arching up into Kirk's hand brought a satisfied grin to his face. "That's right, you like that don't you sweetheart?"

Kirk twisted his fingers until he was contented that McCoy wouldn't experience any discomfort when he entered him, and smiled at McCoy aggravated groan as Kirk removed his fingers. That groan was replaced with a startled gasp and McCoy's eyes slamming shut while he worried his lower lip between his teeth as Kirk lift his other leg around his waist, and held him against the wall. Kirk allowed McCoy to feel the strength it took to keep him there unmoving for a moment. Then he aligned himself with McCoy's entrance and slid into him agonizingly slowly, until McCoy trembled with need.

As Kirk seated himself McCoy's hands clenched Kirk's shoulders for support, and as Kirk began trusting McCoy's world narrowed to here, now, and oh sweet god more. Kirk smiled at the needy gasps and breathy whimpers emanating from his consort, and pressed kisses along McCoy's chin and jaw. Kirk used the loud gasp when he began toying with McCoy's hardened nipples to invade his mouth, and he swallowed the sounds coming from McCoy. A glance down revealed that McCoy's cock was hard and the evidence of his arousal formed a glistening trail as Kirk leaned into McCoy's body trapping it between them. As he did this McCoy gasped and he arched into Kirk's solid presence desperately searching for more friction.

"Want something sweetheart?"

McCoy looked at him with half lidded eyes, and gasped. "Please-"

"Please what sweetheart?" Kirk's voice was warm and encouraging, and he could see McCoy's brain trying to formulate an actual sentence.

"Please sir?" This simple sentence panted rather than spoken sent a strong wave of desire through Kirk, and though he managed to keep his face from showing how hot he found this request there was no way that McCoy didn't feel the cock buried inside him jump in response. Kirk thought about making McCoy wait until he'd coaxed the full sentence from him, but decided that could wait for a night when they were a little less on edge.

He reached down and stroked his fingers over McCoy's cock running his fingers up and down its length causing him to gasp and shudder. "Come for me sweetheart." Kirk had to bite back a moan himself as McCoy's orgasm prompted him to clench around Kirk's cock, and the fluttering spasms soon pushed Kirk over the edge. He held McCoy steady for a moment, and then tightened his grips on McCoy's legs, and wrapping his arms more firmly around McCoy back he proceeded to carry him the short distance across the room to the bed, all without ever leaving the warmth of McCoy's body. Kirk collapsed on top of his consort for the moment catching his breath, and then having caught his second wind began moving within McCoy again.

McCoy gasped as Kirk's thrusts hit all the right angles to leave him a gibbering mess. As Kirk's cock brushed his prostate, his skilled fingers toyed with McCoy's nipples, and his teeth worried the spot where his neck merged with shoulder. "Tell me you want this."

"I…" He gasped, momentarily unable to speak as Kirk's thrust robbed him of coherent thought, never mind speech. "I want this." The statement was soft, almost shocked. McCoy hadn't realized that he had come to the point that this connection was comforting. He hadn't realized that he'd started to associate Kirk's presence with safety and warmth. These startling revelations pounded in his skull as waves of pleasure overtook his body, and when the pleasure had crested he lay still, pondering the changes in his circumstances.

His musings were interrupted by a loud growl imitating from his stomach. Kirk raised up on his elbow and looked down at him with an annoyance that left a crease on his forehead. "You skipped lunch today didn't you?"

McCoy felt a blush raising on his cheeks, as Kirk looked at him disapprovingly. "Saw the pictures before I had a chance. I couldn't keep anything down after that." Because he would like to maintain some semblance of dignity he doesn't mention that his breakfast had made a reappearance, lending truth to the symptoms he'd documented when he'd placed himself on medical leave.

Kirk sighed, and brought his fingers up to tangle in McCoy's hair. "What am I going to do with you McCoy? I'd mention that this is why you should have just asked me, as opposed to making assumptions, but I think we've already beaten that point into the ground. Since you were unable to eat, not just forgetful or stubborn about putting others needs before yours, there won't be any repercussions this time. But don't make a habit of it, understand?" McCoy nodded, and this seemed to satisfy Kirk. "Come on, we'll grab a quick shower, and get you something to eat."

McCoy followed Kirk to the shower, all the while pondering the revelation that he'd had while Kirk demanded his affirmation that he wanted this. This had stopped being about Joanna a long time ago, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He wasn't ready to examine that too closely, it didn't fit in with the way he'd always thought of himself. Instead of being concerned about what might happen to Joanna, he'd been focused on how lousy he felt when he and Kirk had fought. He realized with a start that he hadn't for an instant been frightened of Kirk taking his anger out on his child. He'd trusted him with her, even after there was evidence that Kirk would kill children if it suited his purposes. What kind of father did that make him?

McCoy was so absorbed in his guilt at not thinking of what the possible repercussions of his behavior could have been for his daughter, and his confusion as to just why he hadn't been worried about her when faced with Kirk's anger that he nearly jumped out of his skin when Kirk's hand touched his shoulder. "You're thinking too hard, McCoy." Kirk steered McCoy into the shower, and he felt the tattoo of water on his back. All the while Kirk invaded his personal space in ways that weren't entirely unwelcome, with a predatory gleam in his eyes. "I wonder just how much of my very focused attention it's going to take for me to short circuit that brilliant mind of yours for a while?"

And then his lips were busy while Kirk stroked soap slicked hands along the planes of his chest, stopping to play with his already oversensitized nipples. Kirk's lips trailed from McCoy's up to his ear, where the warmth of the commanding voice made McCoy tremble as the vibrations tingled in his ear. "You are so very, very pretty when you let go for me like this. I'm going to make you come so often and so hard tonight that tomorrow just the slightest breeze will be enough to make you twitch." He reached down and rubbed his palm over McCoy's dick which was half hard again from the ministrations of Kirk's talented fingers, and the images that his whispered promises called to mind.

"I did tell you that you would be receiving more rigorous attention soon. Had to delay it for a bit thanks to Janice, but never let it be said that I don't keep my word." His fingers circled the sensitive head of McCoy's dick, and he smiled a little as McCoy hips jumped even as he hissed from the overstimulation. He turned McCoy around, and had him brace himself against the shower wall with his forearms. He took the soap in his hands again, building up a rich lather, before nudging McCoy's legs apart with his foot.

Taking advantage of his widened stance Kirk used one hand to begin playing with McCoy's ass, while the other reached around and stroked McCoy's cock. He whimpered a bit at first, as the stimulation was made more intense by the attention that Kirk had given the areas not long ago. He hissed half in pleasure and half in pain as Kirk slid two fingers into his ass, and began brushing against the swollen gland that he found there. As he made McCoy whimper and gasp, Kirk leaned forward and placed kisses on the smooth skin of McCoy's shoulders and back. McCoy arched back into the caress, and his head came to rest on Kirk's shoulder as he panted. Finally when McCoy was gasping and trembling, Kirk's hand began to slow, finally giving McCoy's dick one last fond pat in farewell. At the same time Kirk removed his fingers, and McCoy shuddered against him caught between wanting more, and being on the edge of too much.

Kirk spun McCoy around, and kissed him deeply, tangling his fingers in his hair and swallowed the needy little gasps and moans. Kirk kept up the kiss until the water had washed the last of the soap that he'd used away, and then pulled away with a smirk as McCoy looked positively debauched despite being squeaky clean. "Time for us to get something in that stomach of yours, can't have you keeling over in the middle of the festivities. And trust me, what I've planned for the evening is going to require a lot of energy."

The two stepped out of the shower, and Kirk indulged himself in another lengthy kiss, as the sight of McCoy standing there glistening with water droplets wrapped in nothing but a towel sent jolts of desire running along his spine. Kirk pulled away somewhat reluctantly, and sent McCoy on his way with orders to take care of any personal business he might have before meeting him in the dining room. Kirk gave his departing consort a final hungry glance before making good use of the time that remained before McCoy joined him.

When McCoy emerged from the bathroom Kirk had put on a pair of pants and taken a seat in the dining room. A plate and glass sat on the table to his side, and the cushion that McCoy had seen only once before was arranged between Kirk's wide spread legs, instead of off to the side as it had been previously. McCoy knew what was expected of him, and rather than ruin the thus far rather enjoyable evening with his resentment at being ordered to kneel, he walked over and sank to his knees before Kirk could utter a word. The position was in truth no different, but made a huge difference to McCoy's comfort level that he had chosen to kneel as opposed to being compelled to.

Kirk smiled as McCoy obeyed the implied order of the cushion without protest, indeed before the command was even given. He reached forward and caressed McCoy's cheek gently, stroking his thumb lightly over the fullness of McCoy's bottom lip, before tilting McCoy's chin up for a gentler kiss than the ones he had received earlier in the evening. Kirk pulled away from the kiss, and smiling all the while pressed his lips to McCoy's forehead. He sat back in his chair, and picked up the glass from the table bringing it to McCoy's lips and holding it steadily while he drank.

When McCoy's thirst had been quenched, Kirk began feeding him small tidbits from the tray beside him. As Kirk fed him he kept in constant contact with McCoy using his other hand to caress the softness of McCoy's hair, tease away the fine lines on his brow that had finally begun to lessen after Kirk had addressed what was going on in Med Bay, or trace the faint whorls of McCoy's ear. In addition to the caresses he kept up a running commentary, telling McCoy how good he looked, how good it felt to be buried inside of him, how sexy those little moans and gasps were, and consequently exactly what Kirk planned to do to wring as many of them from McCoy as he could before the night was through.

At the end of the meal, Kirk was pleased to note that McCoy had begun to turn into his caresses, developed a delightful blush, and his cock was standing very nicely at attention. Kirk took a moment to appreciate how beautiful this man was, and pulled him close for a tender kiss. "Do you have any idea how damn tempting you are at this moment? Always so warm, and so very responsive to my touch. A stronger man might be able to resist, but what's the point in being captain if you have to deny yourself something so damn good? I'm going to enjoy making you scream for me tonight, and tomorrow anyone who crosses your path is going to know exactly what you spent your night doing."

Naked as he was McCoy couldn't quite hide the pleasurable shudder that went through his body as Kirk said that. "You like the idea of the crew knowing that night after night you hold my favor as no one else ever has, don't you? You like the envious stares, the deference, and the slightly averted glances that have replaced the disrespect that used to paint the faces of those too stupid to realize that their lives have always rested just as much in your hands as in mine." Kirk's fingers traced over the love bites at McCoy's throat. As much as he loved the process of putting said marks there he knew that the sight of McCoy in his collar would be even better. But responsive though he was, and as well as he'd taken the assertion that he wanted the crew to know exactly what was he was doing, McCoy wasn't ready for a collar just yet.

As Kirk's whispers turned towards McCoy's enjoyment of the fact that the crew knew exactly what he and Kirk were doing, McCoy realized with a jolt that Kirk was right. Jocelyn had made such a fool of him, he'd been the last to know when his wife had taken up with other men, and even when he'd found out he still hadn't been able to leave her. Now, with Kirk, he had someone who only had eyes for him. Kirk, the man who could have anyone he wanted, but made no secret of the fact that he wanted McCoy, and let everyone know it. As reluctant as he'd been, as strange a beginning to their relationship had had, Kirk was right there was a part of McCoy battered ego that was soothed by the fact that Kirk was proud to claim him.

"Now my beautiful consort, I think it's time for me to keep my promise. Go lay face up on the bed, and close your eyes." Kirk watched McCoy rise from his knees, and walk to the bed. After enjoying the sight for a moment, Kirk rose and went to his tool chest. He'd always disagreed with people who called such cabinets toy chests, as far as he was concerned, toys were for children. And the fabulous sight awaiting him in his bed, well he was under no definition a child.

He removed the soft padded leather cuffs that he'd used on McCoy before, a blindfold, and a few more items that would make nice surprises for his consort. Then he eased the doors of the chest shut, and walked over to his consort. He placed his tools down on the bed, and proceeded to bind McCoy securely in a spread eagle position. He didn't hurry, taking the time to place his customary kisses on the pulse points on McCoy's wrists, and caress the bumps and ridges of McCoy's ankles before securing the cuffs. He tied the blindfold and tilted McCoy's face up slightly for a kiss, before allowing his head to rest comfortably on the pillow.

"I'm planning on keeping you like this for a pretty good while. Anything too tight?" McCoy shook his head, and Kirk traced circles on his stomach, causing McCoy to flinch away as far as he was able. "Remember your safe words?"

"Yes sir." Kirk smiled and reached up to stroke McCoy's palms, pleased when his fingers were given a squeeze in return.

"Well then, let's see just how hard I can make you come for me." He leaned in close, pressing their bodies together, before whispering in McCoy's ear. "Between you and me, I think that it's going to be very, very hard, and that you ought to be very happy that I value your dignity, because without the noise dampener on this room, everyone on ship would know just how prettily you beg for me."

McCoy would have protested, but at that moment something narrower and rounder that Kirk's finger was being pushed inside him, causing him to tense. "Relax, McCoy, this is going to feel good. I promise, just relax for me." A deep breath, and the item was completely inserted, and Kirk's hands stroked his inner thighs gently. The plug wasn't as large as Kirk, but as McCoy noted that the object began to pulse, slowly expanding within him. It didn't grow overly large, but managed to press against his inner walls, and sit directly on top of his prostate, which wouldn't be horribly distracting if he didn't move around too much.

"It had been a very, very long time since I'd needed things like this McCoy. I mean of course I'd shopped for Gaila before I sent her to Spock, but I hadn't had any male bedmates in a very long time. I had a lot of fun shopping for you, and I think you're going to enjoy the things that I picked out for you immensely. I know that your last experience with something like this was embarrassing, and not particularly comfortable. Now though, I think you'll be a little better able to enjoy the genius of these particular inventions."

McCoy felt the bed dip beside him as Kirk sat, looking down on him if the heat from his body was any indication of his position. A gentle hand carded down his side the soft brush of nails a momentary distraction which was comforting until Kirk switched the device on. Kirk watched as every muscle tensed in response to the intense vibrations directly on such a sensitive spot. In a matter of seconds McCoy was panting and gasping, thrusting his hips as far as the restraints would let him go. He began quivering, and Kirk lowered the intensity of the vibration. "Better than the last time?"

"Dear god, yes." McCoy panted and Kirk smiled.

"Well, let's see what else we can find." McCoy got a touch nervous as Kirk began playing with his nipples, pinching gently and pulling them until McCoy was moaning, and the tiny nubs stood at rapt attention. Kirk's fingers were replaced with cold metal, and McCoy both recoiled and gasped at the sharp bite of the unyielding teeth. "Sh, just breathe through it. It'll feel a lot better in a minute, I promise." Kirk stroked McCoy's sides gently as he adapted to the forceful constriction of the tender flesh. After a moment, the sharp ache faded, leaving a dull throbbing behind that let McCoy feel his heartbeat in his nipple. Once he had adjusted, and was no longer whimpering, Kirk repeated the same process on the other nipple.

When he had adjusted Kirk leaned over and pressed his lips to McCoy's lips, and during the kiss turned the device back on, causing McCoy to tremble and quake. McCoy groaned as Kirk brought his fingers to circle the tender head of his cock, and Kirk chuckled at the frustration etched on McCoy's face. "The goal here is to make you scream, and come until it's physically impossible for me to get you off again. Given that, come anytime you can, as often as you can."

McCoy groaned at the order, and when Kirk both turned up the stimulation on the device, and swallowed his cock down to its base in one smooth movement, McCoy came again with a muffled curse. Kirk continued sucking on McCoy's cock until his release was spent, then pulled back with a pleased grin. "That's three for the evening I believe. You're even more responsive than I thought you'd be." He turned the device off and gave McCoy a break, stroking him gently and speaking to him softly.

When Kirk turned on the device again McCoy's eyes widened in panic. Kirk lessened the intensity of the device, but didn't turn it completely off, keeping McCoy on the edge without pushing him over. "Something wrong?"

McCoy shook his head, and panted. "I can't. Not again, not this soon. Three times in a night is already pushing it."

Kirk looked down at him fondly, and shook his head. "Not strictly speaking true. You won't be able to ejaculate again, that doesn't mean you can't come. By the time I finish training you, you'll be able to come two dozen times a night if I want you to." Noting the look of panic in McCoy's eyes, he chuckled and stroked his thumb along McCoy's jaw. "You will enjoy this, I promise, but if you're that worried about it I'll go easy on you for the night. One more and I'll untie you, how does that sound."

Before McCoy could formulate an answer Kirk turned the vibrator up several notches leaving McCoy panting and trembling. The muscles in his neck were stretched taut, his chest heaved with the effort, and was covered in a sheen of glistening sweat, and his legs were tensed and pushing off the bed as much as they could. "Please, please, please." He panted Kirk's name and gods, before dissolving into incoherence. As the babbling increase, Kirk took McCoy's aching flesh in his hand, and began stroking him until McCoy tensed and then relaxed.

He lay panting against the sheets, too tried to do much more than twitch, as the stimulation in his ass continued. Kirk reached down and removed the device, causing a gasp that was half relief, and half disappointment. Kirk settled himself between McCoy's thighs, and slowly entered the still spasming channel. He stilled for a moment, enjoying the feeling of McCoy quivering around him. Then he reached up and removed the first of the nipple clamps, muffling McCoy's pained gasp with a kiss as the blood began to flow back into the abused flesh. He repeated this process with the other clamp, and once the whimpers had subsided brushed his fingers across the hypersensitive points causing further gasping from McCoy.

Kirk began a slow rhythm, that allowed McCoy to merely lie still and enjoy the aftershocks of his previous treatment, extended as they were by Kirk's continued stimulation. After an indeterminable amount of time, Kirk stiffed above him, the sagged with blissful depletion. McCoy felt the ghosting press of a kiss to his forehead, and then the chill of the room as Kirk's warmth parted from him. This incited an unhappy and wholly involuntary whimper, and Kirk gave his shoulder a squeeze as he released the bonds around his wrists. He felt Kirk's cursory inspection of his hands, and seemingly satisfied with their condition Kirk moved down to his ankles.

McCoy felt better once his freedom of movement was restored. Not, mind you that McCoy was going anywhere, as he doubted that his legs would hold him much past the end of the bed before he fell to the ground in a graceless heap. But still it was nice to be able to move as he chose. The bed dipped beside him as his hand rose towards the blindfold, and Kirk's hands covered his own removing the strip of cloth. A warm damp cloth was used to wipe the stickiness of the encounter from him, and a glass dewy with moisture was brought to his lips.

When he'd drained the glass, Kirk set it aside and lay down beside him, pulling him into his arms. "You were amazing tonight." McCoy did his level best to keep his pleasure at that statement from showing on his face, not quite ready to allow Kirk to know how much comments like that meant to him. As he drifted off into an exhausted sleep the last thing he felt was Kirk's warm arms closing around him, and the steady sound of Kirk's heartbeat beneath his ear.

AN: Ok I had planned to go into the legal stuff that Kirk had drawn up this chapter. Instead, he looked at me, and was like I've just had and resolved my first fight with McCoy. You really think I give a damn about money right now? No, no, no. No legal bull shit, just me and McCoy and naked twister, and handcuffs, and clamps... And we all know how persuasive Kirk can be. As for the multiples in one night…yes it's possible, someone I know has been trained to do it, and it is a truly amazing sight. For details look up tantric sex.

Please forgive any spelling/punctuation issues, I'll do an additional proofread later, but as this update wanted to be difficult, I've spent a lot of time rereading it, and so may have missed the forest for the trees so to speak.

As always I appreciate you reading, and hope that you enjoyed it. If so please do let me know!

Next up: McCoy discovers exactly how generous Kirk has been in securing his future. Additionally he has time to think about some of the revelations he had in this chapter, without the distraction of Kirk very focused attention.


	46. Chapter 46

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Some morning after TLC and the legal documents.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 0400

Kirk woke to find McCoy nestled into his chest. The man was still sleeping heavily, not really all that surprising as he'd had one hell of a day yesterday. Kirk took a moment to study his consort's face, peaceful in sleep, and was grateful that the breach between them had been repaired. He'd been unprepared for how badly McCoy's disdain had upset him. It had been years since he'd left himself open for an attack like that, since anyone had mattered enough for their thoughts about him to hurt.

He'd saved Gaila from a raping bastard who would pimp her out to pay off his gambling debts. After that, nothing he did was going to make her speak or think ill of him. He'd saved Spock from certain death after his actions in the Nero incident, and he'd signed off on his relationship with Uhura when he could have had her reassigned to a different ship just to fuck with him. That tended to inspire loyalty, even in a species that professed not to see the logic in it. Chekov worshiped the ground he walked on, and if Sulu wanted to keep his balls intact, he knew to leave the captain alone. Just one of the hazards of bedding down with a kid who had a serious case of hero worship and a knife fetish, Kirk supposed.

Scotty, well he'd pulled Scotty off of a frozen hunk of nothing, and placed him on an engineer's wet dream. He turned a blind eye to his still, and the more extreme nature of Scotty's affections for the mechanical. This earned him the promise that no man would ever desecrate the woman that both of them loved. Scotty would tear the ship apart before allowing another engineer to touch his beloved, and likewise anyone else who was foolish enough to try to captain the ship would likely find the CO2 levels rising in his quarters one night as he slept. That was assuming of course that Scotty didn't vaporize him in the warp coil first.

Uhura, now winning her over had been a very sweet victory. It had been a pain in the ass after their first meeting, but it had been worth it. Oddly enough it hadn't been saving Spock's life of the apology for treating her with less than the courtesy that she deserved that had earned him a spot in her good graces. And truth be told Kirk was still kind of annoyed about that as he only apologized when it would gain him something, so as it hadn't yielded the desired outcome he'd considered it a waste.

He preferred actions to apologies, and apparently so did Uhura. She had finally warmed to him when the head of an enemy that had been targeting her little sister arrived on her doorstep before they left space dock for their first five year mission. The fact that the incident was one that he never should have known about in the first place was never mentioned, after all Uhura was nothing if not pragmatic. And allowing Gaila to insinuate her way into Spock and Uhura's relationship, hadn't hurt either, as it had given both women the protection of a sometimes homicidal Vulcan. Not to mention it provided Uhura with the emotional support that Spock just didn't understand her need for.

Kirk thought over the other people who interacted with him on a frequent basis, and he had similar holds on them to the very last. Of the people in his life, only McCoy wasn't completely within his orbit. The man had begun to fall into sway when he'd saved his daughter from a fate worse than death, but that alone wasn't enough to bring him in completely, because McCoy knew that Kirk wouldn't hurt his little girl. He wanted McCoy, and if he harmed so much as a hair on that child's head it would put a breach between the two of them that an eternity in an agony booth wouldn't fix.

Killing Ethan had brought McCoy closer to him, but it also reminded him of the levels of cruelty in Kirk that the good doctor found unacceptable and frightening. He understood that the past had made him wary, and that only time would soften the distrust that McCoy had for him. Thing is, Kirk had never been a fan of trusting something besides his own machinations. To leave something this vital to him to something fickle as time chafed in ways he didn't even want to consider.

Kirk was pulled out of his thoughts as McCoy began to stir. He saw that Kirk was awake, and squinted to make out the chronometer. "Why are you awake, and apparently thinking of something very unpleasant at 4' o clock in the fucking morning?" McCoy's raspy voice brought an unconscious smile to Kirk's face. "You have a nightmare where you got attacked by giant fluffy bunnies or something?"

"Oh no, not the bunnies!" Kirk chuckled, and pressed a kiss on his consort's forehead, before snuggling in allowing himself to breathe in the smell that was uniquely McCoy. "Nothing as dire as that I promise. Now back to sleep with you."

"Can't sleep, my pillow's all growly and tense." McCoy pinned him with a glance that would have been far more intimidating if his eyes weren't still heavy with sleep and his hair hadn't been sticking straight up. Kirk laughed at the sight, and stretched out pulling McCoy back into his arms.

"Alright, no more growling while I'm on pillow duty. Now go back to sleep. You need your rest."

"Pot, kettle, black. You too, don't want you cluttering up my Med Bay." Kirk sighed, and muttered something to the affirmative, to placate McCoy. He'd intended to rise once McCoy had fallen back to sleep, having numerous things that he could do to give himself that edge that made him one of the most feared men in the galaxy. He'd never been one to linger in a lover's bed once the deed was done, unless they were clingy and reassuring them had some benefit to him. McCoy seemed an exception to that long standing rule, however, and as much as Kirk knew he should head for his desk and study the intel that his spies had gathered he couldn't seem to find the desire to move. Instead the soft breathing and the warmth of the slumbering man in his arms lulled him back into a contented slumber.

Captain's Quarters 0800

As Kirk lay slumbering in his quarters that morning he had no way of knowing that when he and McCoy were both far older, and had seen far more of the galaxy, that he'd have no singular moment to point to and say 'that's where our relationship changed, that's when he started to trust me'. Instead the change was subtle, with dozens of small seemingly insignificant decisions that added up to what he'd desired and schemed to achieve. One such moment occurred now, when McCoy woke as he had before, and instead of sneaking from Kirk's arms, chose to settle back down and enjoy the feeling while he waited for Kirk to wake.

McCoy had no way of knowing that Kirk had been awake since the moment McCoy's body had stiffened in awareness, and the soft rhythmic breathing of slumber had shifted. Kirk lie there feigning sleep as he had other mornings, waiting for McCoy to enjoy his hidden and guilty pleasure before rising. He was surprised when instead of reluctantly rising after a few moments McCoy snuggled back down, and was still. The frame beneath Kirk's hands was relaxed, but the mind was active, and it wasn't a simple desire for more sleep that had motivated McCoy to linger.

After a few moments, so as not to arouse McCoy's suspicions, Kirk allowed his breathing to change, and shifted a bit, jostling McCoy slightly. Kirk's arms tightened slightly around McCoy, and he traced one hand up McCoy's back before allowing his fingers to play with the soft hair that he found at the base of McCoy's neck. "Do I even want to ask what time it is?"

"You've got a few hours before your shift this afternoon."

Kirk smiled and took a glance at the chronometer. "Well, in that case. I think I'll enjoy this very lovely way to wake up. Kirk brushed McCoy's lip gently with his thumb, and reached out for the cup of tea that lay on the bedside. He took a large sip, and tilting McCoy's head back shared it with him. He stroked the tender skin at the nape of McCoy's neck earning him a shiver, and he smiled. He kissed the solid jaw and enjoyed the stirring of his consort against him. "Let's see if I kept that promise I made last night."

Kirk scooted down the bed until his head was level with McCoy's cock, and blew a slow stream of air over it. McCoy bit back a curse, and sure enough his cock twitched in response to the breeze. Kirk's fingers ran up McCoy's stomach and over his chest, and brushed lightly over his nipples eliciting a groan. "A little tender this morning, aren't you?" Kirk took in McCoy's answering nod, and stroked a gentle finger down the length of McCoy's cock. "Feel good or too much?"

"Feels good…" Kirk smiled up at him, and replaced his finger with his tongue. McCoy's hips bucked and he let out a strangled curse, causing Kirk to chuckle and hold his hips down with one strong arm. The residual mint from the tea made the already sensitive flesh tingle, and added a cool contrast to the warmth of Kirk's mouth.

"If this stops feeling good tell me. Until then I want to see you come apart for me." Kirk sunk down onto McCoy's cock, and just the feel of his tongue almost had McCoy incoherent. A few gentle sucks, and he shattered just as Kirk had wanted, before lying back against the sheets struggling for his breath. Kirk allowed him to lay prone for a moment, before rising and extending a hand for him to take. He pulled McCoy up onto shaking legs, and held him steady as they walked to the bathroom.

Gentle hands washed the nights' exertions from McCoy while he shivered from borderline sensory overload in the shower, and Kirk toweled him off noting how McCoy's breath caught as the soft towel brushed anywhere near his nipples or cock. He steered McCoy over to the sink, and this time McCoy bent over without the embarrassed blush he'd sported the last time Kirk had done this. Kirk's fingers slick with Gaila's ointment stroked his inner walls and ghosted over the nodule that was so oversensitive that McCoy could feel his heartbeat in it he shuddered as the cooling effect of the ointment heightened his sensitivity before soothing the ache.

Equally gentle hands smoothed the ointment onto his cock, and he fell against Kirk for support as the sensations robbed him of even basic speech. Finally when the potent tingling subsided into something comfortably numb Kirk's arms surrounded him and held him close. "There we go sweetheart that should help." He wiped his hands on a towel and then trailed his fingers over the still rigid nipples, noting the movement of McCoy's hips as he stroked them. "Think I'll leave these though. Do you have any idea how hot it is, knowing that even as you're sitting in your office in Med Bay you're gasping every time your uniform catches on these."

McCoy groaned at both the image and the sensation and Kirk smiled. "Maybe we'll get lucky and our shift will be uneventful enough for me to pay you a visit. Would you like that? Me bending you over the desk in Med Bay, only a thin wall and privacy screen separating all the filthy things I plan to do to you from that nice sterile fiefdom of yours. Would you enjoy those knowing looks from Chapel when she sees you later, looking well and truly fucked?"

McCoy's hips jumped, and Kirk grinned again. "You do like that don't you?" He stroked his fingers along McCoy's chin. "Maybe I'll even let you come if you ask me nicely, otherwise you'll be walking around Med Bay trying not to let everyone see you so damn hard that breathing hurts." Kirk noticed the barely veiled need in McCoy's eyes, and figured that if he wanted to have any reasonable conversation with the man before his shift, he really should stop teasing him. But the idea of bending McCoy over his desk and making him howl like a cat in heat for all to hear, well let's just say it took a prime spot on his list of places to fuck McCoy senseless list.

He grabbed a seldomly used robe, and wrapped it around McCoy's shoulders. While Kirk greatly enjoyed observing McCoy's delectable body, he decided it would be best to shield the object of his desire in an attempt to give McCoy's over stimulated body a break. There could be too much of a good thing after all. So despite wanting to see McCoy's face contorted in ecstasy again, he contented himself with looking over the bruises that made his claim to the man readily apparent to anyone with eyes. "Come on, I could do with some of your mom's pancakes, and we need to have a chat."

He felt McCoy's shoulders tense at that statement. "We've discussed this McCoy, if you've fucked up you'll know, it won't be a question. It's not anything unpleasant, I promise." Kirk placed a hand on McCoy's shoulders and rubbed soothing circles there, pleased when he felt McCoy relax again under his touch. "Besides, I wouldn't ruin something you enjoy so much with unpleasant conversation." He steered them towards the dining room, and gave McCoy a nudge towards the replicator. "Go ahead and order breakfast, I'll get the information we need to go over, and meet you back here."

McCoy nodded, and in short order was sipping a cup of steaming coffee. He handed one to Kirk as he walked back in carrying what looked to be the paperwork from Kirk's lawyers. "I got a polite reminder message from my lawyers yesterday, wanting to make sure that the contract was satisfactory. I realized that I couldn't actually answer that, as I sort of just dumped it on you and didn't follow up on it. Have you had a chance to read it yet?"

McCoy grimaced. "I got my will updated, and changed all of the things that Joanna needed, and I'd started reading it, but then things happened and I hadn't finished it yet."

"Well, Alan did have a point. The sooner we get this done the better, so how about we go over it together, if you think anything needs to be changed we'll let Alan know. Or if you need to run anything by your lawyer you can call them this afternoon?"

"That sounds like a good idea." McCoy placed a plate of pancakes, bacon, and fruit in front of Kirk and sat down with his own. "And I know damn well you like pineapple, so I'm expecting you to eat all of it, you understand?" Kirk smirked and gave him a mock salute, before drowning his pancakes in butter and syrup. This made McCoy sigh, and he reminded himself sullenly that at least Kirk had a metabolism that most people would kill for. He'd never once been over suggested weight at his physicals, never had abnormal blood work, but still it didn't do to tempt fate but so much.

The meal was consumed fairly quickly, with only light conversation between the two of them until the food was gone. Once they were satiated Kirk put their dishes in the recycler, and brought them a refill of coffee, before pulling the data file closer to him. "Alright let's look this thing over, shall we? How far did you get into it?"

"Well, I'm fairly certain that the first part of it defines the expectations for me, pretty much the same way that you have, just in a lot more flowery terms. Somehow I can't see you ever using the term long-term cohabitation."

"Fancy legal bullshit for I expect us to live under the same roof, and in the same room unless health demands otherwise. I don't think that was exactly a surprise."

McCoy shook his head. "No, I'd pretty much figured that out." McCoy thumbed through the document, and found one of the passages he'd marked. "I was surprised to see the infidelity clause cuts both ways. I do appreciate that."

Kirk smiled faintly at that. "I thought you might. After your reaction to the thought that Spock and I were sleeping together, I figured out that infidelity was a sensitive subject for you."

"I'd like to point out that I was drugged at the time."

"Doesn't mean that what you said can't be held against you. Please tell me you don't always massacre Hank Williams songs when you're plastered?"

McCoy groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Please tell me I didn't?"

"Oh yeah, five choruses of Your Cheating Heart."

"Again, I was drugged." This was more a squeak, and Kirk could see a blush high on McCoy's cheekbones where his fingers didn't quite extend.

"Yeah I know, but it did give me the idea that fidelity was something very important to you, hence the clause. So what's next?"

"Truthfully that's about as far as I'd gotten."

Kirk nodded, and pulled his chair up beside McCoy's so they could look at the document. "Well then, that brings us to the fun bits. This section here stipulated that the plans I've made for you if you survive me, only go into effect if you didn't have a role to play in killing me."

McCoy shot him a look that was somewhere between 'do I really look that stupid', and offense at the thought that he would ever have thought that wouldn't be part of the deal. "Well that makes sense."

Kirk held up his hands in protest. "No shooting the messenger. Lawyer insisted on it, for both our sakes. That way if I should happen to keel over, it lessens the scrutiny on you, because you're not stupid. You wouldn't throw everything away to take me out, not when there are so many other people who'd be more than willing to do it for you."

"Well, if you'd kindly refrain from getting yourself killed in the near future, I'd appreciate it."

Kirk smirked at that, it wasn't a declaration of love or anything else as extreme, but he'd take I'd rather you not die. It was after all a good start. "Duely noted, like I said I plan on living a very, very long time, if for no other reason than to annoy my enemies." McCoy rolled his eyes at the flippant answer, and Kirk continued looking over the contract. Now the important part, he ran his finger over the paragraph in question. "And this part starts talking about your dower, the arrangements for your family, and the more financial aspects of the arrangement."

McCoy's eyes widened as he took in the very large numbers listed under the property that was to be transferred into his name when he officially became Kirk's consort, the obscenely generous trust fund for Joanna, and the 'bride price' he intended to pay his mother. He felt his heart start to race, this was not going as he'd expected. Not that he'd known what something like this would look like. He stammered. "I-I can't accept this."

"What's the matter?" Kirk raised his eyebrow. "Something missing? Shore's normally very thorough, but he could have left something out."

McCoy shook his head. "I can't accept this. It's too much."

Kirk shook his head and chuckled softly. "I should have known. I'm the only man in the Empire who has a consort who complains of his patron being too generous."

"You've already given me what I wanted. I don't need all this."

"You wanted your daughter's safety. I know you want Joanna's safety more than anything in the world." He reached over and clasped McCoy's hand in his own. "And I respect that she is fundamentally important to you, but as important as she is to you, you are more than just her father. Perhaps I felt that you were selling yourself far too cheaply."

Pushing aside the reference to selling himself, which while it did prick his pride was true, McCoy focused on the numbers. "This is too much. I don't deserve this."

"So the only thing wrong with this is that it's too much money?" Kirk looked at him confused. "You don't have problems with the consequences of infidelity, or the role I plan to play in Joanna's upbringing?"

McCoy shook his head. "No, I don't plan on cheating. And you've already proven I can trust you with Jo."

"Well, doc, if the only problem you've got is that I'm giving you too much, you might as well save us some trouble and sign the papers, because I'm not going to give you one credit less than what's listed on there."

"We've talked about this. I bring you nothing but problems. What you've already done is plenty."

Kirk felt a dawning understanding. It seemed his consort still didn't know and couldn't accept his own worth. "Yes, McCoy, you do deserve this. Take what I'm offering you, it is by my estimation far less than you deserve. It is all things considered, less than customary, but I knew that you wouldn't accept more."

"Why are you so insistent about this?" McCoy looked over disbelief in his eyes, and Kirk found himself again wanting to strangle the people who'd left this man's self worth so precarious. He reached over, keeping his touch light and stroked McCoy's back.

"Because you deserve this and more. One day I'll make you believe that. In the meantime, let's see if we can't resolve this. This is about you being worried about taking things that you haven't earned, and taking advantage of me right?" McCoy nodded wondering if he'd always been this transparent to Kirk.

He noticed Kirk reaching for the comm. station. "What are you doing?"

"Calling my mother and Pike, I'm guessing your mother wouldn't let you sign a contract that was detrimental to you right?"

"Well no…but"

"So if they look it over and tell you the contract is sound, obviously you couldn't possibly be taking advantage of me right?"

"You want to invite, Pike, the killer of Tuesday sneezers, over for breakfast, while I'm sitting here in a bathrobe, so that he can tell me I should take ridiculously large sums of money from you?"

Kirk chuckled. "Ok, we need to adjust your scope if you think that those are ridiculously large numbers. I'm actually taking horrific advantage of your naivety, which mom will be pissed at, and Pike is going to find this absolutely hilarious when he finds out the numbers we're talking about. If I were to reassure you that yes, I can completely afford to give you ten times that amount without it being a problem, will you sign the damn papers? Hell, I'll even show you most of my bank records if it'll help."

At his continued silence and withdrawal, Kirk sighed heavily. "This was supposed to be something that would make you happy. I want you to feel safe and secure, and I want you to know that you don't have to worry about money, ever again. How is that a bad thing?" McCoy's eyes were conflicted, and he felt a stirring of hope. "Money's not a big deal to me, McCoy. I've always had it, and have the knowledge and tools to make more of it should I need to. But I'm not so far removed from reality that I don't know that money matters a great deal when you've a lack of it. That's what this is supposed to protect you from."

Kirk forced McCoy to meet his eyes by tilting his chin up with one finger. "I want you to have good things. I want you to feel like you can buy things you want without asking me. I want you to know that Joanna and your mother are well cared for. Now what part of that do you object to?"

"Kind of hard to object when you put it that way, isn't it?" Kirk gave him a faint smile, and stroked his fingers over the back of his neck gently.

"Well, I was hoping you'd see it that way, yes. So if there are no more objections about these clauses, shall we continue?"

McCoy nodded, and lent his attention towards the more minute details that remained in the document, divisions of property in the future, delineation of who was responsible for what as far as the Empire was concerned, and the like were agreed upon without qualm. In the remainder of the document, McCoy found only one thing that he could not abide.

"This clause, that's for Cassie's benefit isn't it?"

"The exclusive transport of items manufactured in my holdings would be a substantial boost to her husband's failing business, yes."

"Strike that clause. She doesn't get to benefit from this. If she wants my help she can by god ask for it."

Kirk observed his consorts dark visage, and the tension that was coming off of him in thick waves. "You know, at some point, you're going to have to tell me what she did that pissed you off so badly. Judging from the reaction, it must have been a pretty big deal."

"She tried to get my medical license taken away after our father died, and when that didn't work she sided with Jocelyn during the divorce telling everyone who'd listen what a horrible father I was. It was the major reason I lost the custody case. If it wasn't for her I'd be tending to snot nosed kids who needed appendectomies and driving Jo to her dance lessons."

Kirk nodded. Then held both hand out seemingly weighing two options. "Let's see, send her flowers, kill her, send her flowers, kill her." McCoy looked at him in alarm. "Relax McCoy, I'm not really going to kill her. Well, unless you want me to. But as much as what you had to go through sucked, I do owe your sister some gratitude. After all if you'd been tending to snot nosed kids in Bumfuck, then I would have had to have come and conscripted you, and then you'd be a hell of a lot less happy with me than you are at the moment."

"Conscripted me?"

"Do you really think that a man of your skills had been unnoticed by the Empire? Really? You published those ground breaking theoretical papers right before your father died remember? If you hadn't signed up with Pike, he'd have had conscriptors at your door within hours. He was your illusion of choice, much like he was mine. Both of us were going to end up in Starfleet, one way or another. And I'm willing to bet that he have sent me to come get you, from whatever little hidey hole you'd found for yourself."

"Now that's just a depressing thought."

"Mh, I like the story much better as it played out." He pressed a soft kiss to McCoy's lips and cupped his cheek. "So it looks like I'll be going with the flowers for little sis, then. But we'll take out this clause, if you'd like. Let me know if you change your mind about wanting to help her, otherwise I'll leave her and her husband to rot. Sound good?"

McCoy nodded, and picked up a pen. He scratched through the offending clause and then signed his name. Kirk smiled broadly, and then taking the stylus from McCoy signed his own name. Kirk threw the pen over his shoulder and grabbed McCoy by the front of the bathrobe hauling him in for a very passionate kiss. "Welcome to the family, McCoy." Any response that McCoy would have made was smothered by further heated kisses, and Kirk regretted the over exuberance of the previous night, just a bit, because there was nothing that he would like more at the moment than to take McCoy to his bed.

That would have to wait however, if the response that he'd gotten this morning was any indication. So he settled for a kiss, and stroking his thumb over the rapidly coloring bite mark on McCoy's neck. He could afford to be patient. It wasn't as if the doctor was going anywhere in the near future. "We should celebrate, you up for dinner with people tonight?"

"Sure I guess. How many people are we talking?" McCoy suppressed a momentary surge of panic at the thought of Kirk turning this into a huge ship wide thing.

"Not a lot, Mom and Pike obviously, maybe Gaila, Spock and Uhura if they aren't busy."

"That sounds fine."

"Awesome, I'll let mom handle that. She loves planning those kinds of things for some reason." He indulged himself in another kiss, and pulled away with a smile. "Come on, I've got something for you." Kirk pulled McCoy along, and seated him on the sofa. "Wait here, I'll be right back." Kirk reemerged rapidly carrying a gift wrapped box. He deposited it on McCoy's lap, and then sat across from him, observing expectantly. "Well, go on, open it."

McCoy slid one finger under the ribbon at the bottom of the package, and after slowly removing it went after the tape carefully pulling it away. Gifts in the McCoy household had been rare, after McCoy's mother had left her husband due to what he'd planned for Leonard. He'd paid the bare minimum of Empire mandated support for each of his children, and a pittance of alimony. His mother had suffered for her love of him, and McCoy had vowed to work as hard as he could to replace that which his mother's affection for him had cost her. So on the rare occasions when he received gifts, McCoy treated the opening of a present as something to be savored.

Kirk reached over and placed his hand over McCoy's. "There will be a lot more presents in your future McCoy, provided of course that you actually open this one sometime before we're old and grey."

"And I'll probably open every one of them just as slowly. Not really something I see changing anytime soon." Kirk merely shrugged and sat back to watch McCoy methodically open his gift. He was going to look forward to accustoming McCoy to gifts and presents, as well as all the finer things that he'd always denied himself.

His musings were cut off by McCoy's finally opening the box to reveal his gift, a finely honed and crafted dagger. It was about the length of McCoy's hand, the blade a gleaming silver, though McCoy was certain that it was made of a metal far more solid than that. Smooth edged and wickedly sharp, he observed, before carefully removing it from the box. The hilt was of a dark leather, soft and smooth, with a heavy metal seal embedded in the hilt. Upon examination, McCoy recognized the dagger. It was the mate to the one that hung at Kirk's side.

"While your hypos might work against some threats, McCoy, I thought it was time to give you something a bit more substantial. This seemed close enough to your scalpels for you to wield it effectively."

"And has the added bonus of having your crest so that only the most suicidal of fools would attack me in the first place, right?"

"True enough. I've spent a lifetime building a reputation that makes even hardened men pause. When you need it, I expect you to use it, are we clear?"

"Crystal, not like that's anything new anyway." Kirk's mouth quirked up in a satisfied smirk at the remembrance of how McCoy had used his fondness for him as a shield while the two of them were at the academy.

"No, I don't suppose it is. But I expect you to use either this," He tapped the seal at the end of the hilt lightly. "Or this-" His fingers tapped the blade now. "To keep yourself safe if need be. You understand that don't you?"

"I understand, but I seriously doubt I'll have the occasion to use it anytime soon. People are still looking at me like I'm the boogie man after what you did to Ethan, and what Pike did to Janice."

Kirk smiled, reminding himself to spend some time with Janice sometime this week. It had been far too long since she'd been reminded of the stakes should she cross him, and the Enterprise should still be within range for the chip to be effective. "Be that as it may, I expect you to carry this with you anytime that you're not in our quarters."

"Alright, I can do that." Kirk smiled and took the dagger from McCoy's hand setting it safely aside before pulling him close. He kissed him tenderly, and brought his hands up to manipulate his still tender nipples, bringing McCoy to the point of gasping in short order. By the time Kirk pulled away McCoy was flushed, and he groaned when Kirk pulled away from him.

"Mh, I know, I know, but duty calls. I'll think of you while I'm on shift." He let his fingers trail down McCoy's chest, over his stomach to the hardened flesh of McCoy's cock. He brushed his fingers over the enflamed flesh, and chuckled as McCoy's hips bucked up into the light caress. "And I'm certain you'll think of me." He pressed another fiercer kiss on McCoy's lips, before pulling away. He rose, and giving McCoy a saucy wink headed for the bathroom, tossing off handedly over his shoulder a parting comment that made McCoy tremble.

"Don't worry McCoy, it's only a few hours before we can finish what we started." McCoy cursed to himself as he realized that the sight that Kirk made as he walked out of the room with his 'I'm the baddest of bad asses' grin on ensured that he would be very much aware of every single minute of those hours.

AN: Ok…so I'd planned on lots of touchy feely how do I really feel about all this goodness this chapter. Kirk high jacked the chapter once again, however, so it looks like McCoy's emotional processing will come in later. But we did get some nice background bits on McCoy. As always I hope you enjoyed it, and if so do humbly request that you tell me so.

Next up: McCoy ponders the course his life has taken him, and the Kirk family welcomes McCoy.


	47. Chapter 47

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy reflects on the course his life has taken, and is welcomed into the Kirk family.

Through A Mirror Darkly

CMO's Office 1300

Leonard Horatio McCoy sat in his office, staring off into space trying to process the rapid changes in his circumstances. He'd been fighting everyone and everything for so long that he really wasn't sure how to just be still. First there had been college with no connections on a budget that would have made a shoestring a luxury, then medical school where only his sharp mind had kept him from being passed over for lesser but better connected candidates. Then he'd met Jocelyn, and thought he'd found his equilibrium. He hadn't cared that her parents had hated him, for his very lack of connections. He'd had a beautiful woman who gave every impression of loving him, and soon he'd had a daughter that had been the light of his whole world.

And then everything had gone to shit again. His father had called him, played upon the loyalty that he supposedly owed him for giving him life, tried to resurrect the bonds of kinship after years of neglect. He'd begged him to use that brilliant mind and talented hands of his to save his worthless life. And while he was distracted with that, Jocelyn had found greener pastures, which led to the nasty divorce and Starfleet. He wasn't sure if he should curse or bless the moment when he'd warned Kirk that he might throw up on him. On one hand it had helped him save his baby girl, but on the other it had bound him to a path that he never would have chosen for himself.

He thought of his mama, who'd worked so hard to support them after she'd determined that she could no longer trust her husband with her children. He remembered his momma pawning her wedding ring for his entrance exam to college, remembered the few treasures she had sold one by one to help him through med school. And he remembered that now she would never have to clip coupons, or mend a dress long past worn. He finally had what he'd wanted all those years, she was safe and secure. She could relax in her old age, and not have to worry about money or work again.

Jo was in a fabulous school, and in a further gesture of generosity Kirk had similarly secured her financial future, as well as pledged his protection to her, per the terms of their contract. While it was customary for patron's to protect people attached to their family, it was rare for them to offer to do so in writing, at least without some heavy duty negotiations before hand. Kirk's offer was odd in that was made before McCoy could even think to ask, and was a blanket all inclusive because you are mine, I will protect what is yours, not the more standard I'll protect what's yours when it's of use to me.

The contract that he'd just signed secured his own future and that of those he loved, so why did he feel the slightest edge of panic creeping up the back of his neck? Kirk had been explicit as to what he expected of him in return, and it wasn't anything particularly offensive. He demanded fidelity, but volunteered to pay severe penalties if he was unfaithful himself. He demanded that they share quarters at his discretion, but really they'd been doing that for weeks, and McCoy couldn't really say it bothered him. It was nice to have quarters that felt like a home, rather than a seldom used bunk to retire to accompanied only by a bottle of bourbon. The fact that they were having sex was a given, but even that was addressed, and Kirk's lawyers had probably been confused about the wording of the clause that excused him from public performance or additional partners. Kirk had left himself the option of a threesome or an exhibitionist encounter legally speaking, but he'd promised to have McCoy's consent and approval first.

Truthfully he'd been Kirk's consort in all but name since the first night he'd come to his bed. In that time Kirk hadn't asked him to torture anyone, kill anyone, fuck anyone else for his amusement, or caused him any lingering harm. He'd only experienced a small amount of physical discomfort which had been greatly overshadowed by the pleasure that Kirk seemed so intent on wringing from him. He realized that it seemed that literally all Kirk wanted for him in exchange for giving him everything he'd ever wanted was loyalty and his prolonged occupancy in his bed. Hell, it wasn't even bad sex, so what was his problem?

The dagger hung heavy at his side, a reminder that he'd gone from being rather innocuous to an instantly recognizable target for the half of the fleet that hated Kirk's guts. But that wasn't what bothered him, he'd expected to get killed for the longest kind of time, and found that now that his family was well cared for in the event of that, he wasn't bothered by it as much. It had moved from a terrifying prospect to a distant threat. He certainly didn't want to hasten his own demise, but he wasn't quaking at the prospect as he might have if he were leaving Joanna alone and without protection.

He allowed himself a moment to feel the rage of the fact that this life was completely opposite of what he'd intended for himself. He had planned to make a name for himself as a doctor, come home to his beautiful wife, play with his daughter, and see to him mama's comfort in his old age. Instead he'd ended up on the ass end of the known universe, fighting to keep the crew from dying off faster than they can replenish them, and would have to content himself with cards, letters, and video chats to keep in touch with his family. But despite this his end goals had still been accomplished, his mother had been repaid for her protection of him, his child was safe, and he had someone beautiful to come home to even if it wasn't someone he would have chosen for himself.

He was pulled from his musings by the chiming of his communicator. He hit the button to acknowledge the call, and raised an eyebrow when Kirk's voice reached his ears. "You occupied at the moment, Bones?"

McCoy thought about lying for a moment, but decided that Kirk wouldn't call him on shift if it wasn't important. "Nothing that couldn't be interrupted-"

"Meet me in the transporter room."

McCoy cursed to himself, all these years in space he still hated the transporter. But when the captain calls, refusal is not exactly an option. "Yes, sir, on my way."

Transporter Room 1315

As the transmission ended Kirk smiled, McCoy wouldn't know what hit him. His mother had been overjoyed when she'd found out that McCoy was officially a member of the family. Kirk allowed himself a fond remembrance of the look on Pike's face, as he'd been certain that Kirk couldn't possibly convince the good doctor to sign the paperwork so quickly. He'd been so certain in fact, that he'd made a wager. Between his mother's excitement and the favor he'd owed Jim for the lost bet, he'd been able to arrange a very pleasant surprise for his consort.

Kirk resisted the urge to laugh as he sighted McCoy stalking towards him with a scowl on his face, carrying his ever present medical kit. He shook his head and reached out a hand to squeeze McCoy's shoulder. "Stop blistering the paint, McCoy. Nothing's wrong, and you're not going off ship."

Though he wouldn't have thought it possible McCoy's scowl deepened. "Then what the hell am I doing here, I've got a department to run you know?"

Kirk raised an eyebrow at the jab. "You mean besides the fact that I'm your captain, and you come when I call you?" After a moment McCoy's stance relaxed marginally, as he realized that he was perilously close to insubordination. "We've got some important guests that have requested that you be present when they arrive. So stash the med kit and make yourself presentable will you, we've already kept them waiting long enough."

McCoy deposited the bag behind the control console, and returned to the waiting area in front of the transporter pad. Kirk brushed an imaginary mote of dust of his shirt, and smiled. "There now, that's much better. We wouldn't have wanted to explain why you looked so pissed off now would we? That whole aviophobia thing, not something we want spreading anymore that it already has." He stepped off to the side, and took a position where he could watch McCoy's face, then nodded to Chekov. "Engage, Mr. Chekov."

"Aye, aye, Keptin." If McCoy hadn't been quite so annoyed at being pulled from his work he might have noticed that Chekov had a satisfied smirk that mirrored Kirk's expression. Under normal circumstances seeing two of the most feared men in the fleet smiling would have been disconcerting. As it was McCoy just wanted to shake hands with whatever important dignitary that had decided he required senior medical crew present for his unannounced arrival, so that he could get back to reviewing what had been going on in his Med Bay in his absence.

Kirk watched McCoy's face as the sparkling beams of light reconfigured themselves into the forms of Joanna and Eleanor McCoy. Almost before the beam had coalesced completely Joanna was off the pad and launching herself into her father's arms. "DADDY!"

Kirk watched the light come into his consorts eyes as he caught the girl mid-spring, grabbed her up in his arms and held her tightly. Yep, totally worth the maneuvering, he thought to himself. He'd been so absorbed in watching McCoy, that he hadn't noticed Eleanor watching him. Finally when she was convinced that she'd seen enough she stepped of the transporter and walked over to him. "Well young man, I had my doubts about you. But I think you'll do."

Kirk lurched slightly, almost having forgotten that reuniting McCoy with his daughter meant that he would have to have the dreaded 'what are your intentions towards my child' chat. Granted given that he had provided for the woman generously, and that his intentions were for once actually honorable, perhaps it wouldn't be so very bad. The logical part of his brain was laughing at him for being wary of a church lady, but then she did apparently wield a mean double barrel, and he of all people knew _exactly_ what a mother would do to protect her child. "Mrs. McCoy, a pleasure to finally meet you."

Eyes sharper than McCoy's but of the same shade met his gaze and studied him, and only experience staring down far meaner creatures kept him from flinching at her prolonged stare. McCoy might not have been a child for quite some time, but this woman still mattered. He might not have had to ask her permission to bed her son, as he would have if McCoy had been younger, or their family more of a political threat, but that didn't mean he could disregard her. McCoy'd been a man grown when Kirk had met him, but as vital as family was to McCoy, this woman could still cause him considerable difficulties if she disapproved of him.

"Well it seems that I let myself get all worked up for nothing. Leonard is looking well, and you seem to be going out of your way to make him happy."

"I try ma'am." He let his most charming smile slide onto his face and she returned it with only a slight reservation. He offered her his arm, which she took, and the two walked over to where the father and daughter were talking heads bent in close. Kirk and Mrs. McCoy watched the two for a moment, each with a fond smile, before McCoy caught their gaze. He gave Joanna a lingering hug, then he stood and took her small hand in his, much as he had when she was younger. He led her over to where Kirk and his mother waited.

Kirk smiled, and crouched down on one knee to be on eye level with her. "You must be, Joanna. Your daddy has told me so much about you. It sure is nice to meet you. And you're even prettier in person than you were on screen."

"Pleased to meet you too…" She looked up at McCoy and tugged on his pants leg, causing him to bend over so she could whisper in his ear. McCoy thought a moment and then whispered something to her, and Kirk could swear that he saw McCoy trying to swallow a chuckle as he straightened up. "I was asking daddy what I should call you, but he said none of the names he used for you would be quite right for me, so I should ask you."

"Well, your daddy calls me Captain, or sir, or even Jim sometimes, but you know I think he's right none of those are quite right for you. How about we stick with Uncle Jim, and if you think up something that you like better we'll talk about it? Does that sound ok?"

"Ok, Uncle Jim." She nodded resolutely, and proceeded to wrap her arms around his waist in a tight hug. Jim ran a hand over her hair and rubbed circles on her back. "Thank you for bringing Grandma and me up here to see daddy, Uncle Jim."

Kirk smiled down at her and allowed himself to enjoy the rare feeling of a perfect moment. Then he gently untangled himself from Joanna. "You know, there are a couple of other people who are looking forward to meeting you. Are you ready to go with me and your daddy to meet them?" She nodded, and reached up for McCoy's hand. Kirk offered Eleanor his arm again, and then led the group through the ship, listening to the quiet whispers of the reunited father and child. Chekov brought up the rear, ensuring that the good doctor and his very precious guest weren't flanked.

The conversation was lighthearted, and they reached the admiral's quarters quickly. Kirk allowed Joanna to press the door bell, and noticed with satisfaction the child's excitement. Pike greeted them at the door, and ushered the group into the sitting room. As Winona and Pike approached Eleanor and Joanna, McCoy pulled Kirk aside. "Jim, I don't know how to thank you for this."

Kirk smiled at him, and brought a hand up to caress his cheek, which would probably start to ache soon from smiling far more than he had become accustomed to. "Seeing you this happy is thanks enough. Besides, it's a special day. You should have your family here too." He pulled McCoy's head down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "She'll be on ship for a week. That's the longest I could get her out of school, and us out of dangerous missions. We'll be orbiting Arilon 5 for the interim, and Spock will be taking the science teams down to explore. Barring any disasters, you'll have the week off."

McCoy looked at him, and then his eyes darted over to where Joanna was chatting with Pike, who for the moment looked more like a doting grandfather than a mass murder. He looked back to Kirk with his heart in his eyes, and finally deciding that there were no words tangled his fingers in Kirk's hair and pulled him close. His lips met Kirk's in a gentle but passionate kiss, far different from the last tentative kiss that he'd given him. If Kirk closed his eyes, and allowed himself a moment of self deception, he could almost believe that McCoy loved him. Kirk vowed to do things like this for McCoy more often, if this was the reward that awaited him.

As much as he wanted to drag McCoy off to their quarters to make good on the promise that he'd made him this morning, as much as he wanted to feel McCoy around him warm and acquiescent with his participation not only willing but eager, he had to abstain for the moment. Right now, they had family to attend to. He took a moment to savor the feel of McCoy's breath warm and mingling with his as their foreheads touched before tilting up and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Come on, let's join them. You three have a lot of catching up to do."

AN: At this point, James T. Kirk, our imperious leader directs me to say: Gotcha! He decided that McCoy's family should be present on such a momentous occasion, and besides that it had been way too long since McCoy saw his baby girl. So he got together with Pike and cooked this up, and wanted all of us to share in the surprise. I hope as always that y'all enjoyed this, and whole heartedly thank you for your kind comments. This chapter goes out to Nikki, whose review made my week.

In answer to another question brought up in an anonymous review, yes, McCoy will end up using his safe words before this story is over, but not for the reasons that you might think. For the lovely folks who keep sending me plot ideas, feel free to continue, just keep in mind I make no promises that they'll get used. I already have the end game for these two. The only question is what path they take to get there (don't worry, it's a long, long journey). In the meantime, please do let me know what you think.

Next up: Some of the baddest people in the universe party down, McCoy gets to spend time with his baby, and Kirk gets to be on the receiving end of an interrogation by someone he can't intimidate or kill, whatever will he do?


	48. Chapter 48

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: A dinner party that ends in disaster.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Kirk watched McCoy with his daughter, dividing his attention even as he chatted with Pike, even as he watched in surprise as his mother greeted Eleanor as she would an old friend. Through all of this he watched as McCoy's little girl sat in his lap bouncing up and down excitedly, no doubt thrilled to see the father who'd always loved her so much after such a long time. Tomorrow or the next day maybe, Kirk figured the novelty would wear off, and they'd get a better picture of what they were really dealing with. The whole Jocelyn and Marcus debacle had probably left scars. But still it was a hell of a lot better than the alternative of leaving the girl in a house with the man who'd murdered her mother.

For the moment however, Kirk enjoyed seeing McCoy's smile. He enjoyed watching him as he seemed to savor every moment, and breath that his little girl took. McCoy listened happily while Joanna's voice rose and fell talking about some relatively trivial point to anyone who didn't love her more than their next breath. He allowed himself a moment to mourn the loss of a father that he'd never known, a man whom he'd always thought would have loved him with the fevered intensity that he saw in McCoy's eyes. And he promised himself that Joanna McCoy would never know what it was like to lose that feeling if there was any possible way that he could prevent it.

Much to his surprise Pike was apparently very good with children, though his interactions with Joanna made McCoy's frame take on an air of if not outright fear, at least a poised awareness as if he were ready to pull Joanna away from harm should it become necessary. Pike remained on his best behavior however, even going so far as to use his skills at slight of hand to pull a token out from behind Joanna's ear which earned him a giggle. Gradually McCoy began to relax as he noticed that Pike genuinely seemed to enjoy chatting with Joanna, but he still breathed a sigh of relief when Pike moved back to Winona's side to introduce himself to Eleanor.

McCoy's mother was a study of all that a proper southern lady should be. Her voice was pleasant and soft, her gestures smooth and graceful, and her smile was warm but a bit reserved. This intimidated Kirk more than a snarl would have, because as Kirk had learned the sweetness and civility most often masked the fact that said 'lady' would like to rip your heart out and bathe in your blood. Provided of course that said bloodbath didn't stain their dresses, or prevent them from something important, such as sipping iced tea on the veranda.

Belles and debutants were dangerous, having been taught from early childhood never to be caught in public with an unpleasant thought or word, and as such were difficult to read their true intentions. The gentrified South that Eleanor McCoy had come from had bred some of the most dangerous women that the fleet had ever known, as most men were too stupid to look past the pretty to find the poison. Kirk prided himself on not being stupid, but he had to admit, he could see where others could be fooled. Of the people in this room, Eleanor McCoy was far from the least dangerous, as one could easily be mislead to think. Though Kirk had to admit he did admire a woman who protected what was hers, his early years at his mother's knee had taught him that if nothing else.

The door chimed again and Kirk stood and greeted Spock, Uhura, and Gaila. Spock gave a respectful nod to Pike and the ladies in the room, and then bent to acknowledge Joanna. She looked at him quizzically for a moment, and then attempted to shape her small fingers into the appropriate Vulcan hand gesture. She mostly managed it, only having to readjust her fingers twice, before greeting him. "Na'shaya, Mr. Spock."

Spock raised an eyebrow at the greeting, and resisted the urge to wince at the mispronunciation brought about by the girl's accent. Still it was more of an attempt to greet him properly than most diplomats bothered to make, and so it was only logical to return the sentiment. "Mene sakkhet ur-seveh, Joanna."

Nytoya smiled broadly at the exchange. "You better watch out doctor, your proficiency in Vulcan is being rapidly challenged by this one." McCoy shook his head at the joke, as everyone on the Enterprise knew that his interest in alien species tended more towards how to put them back together and keep them from emitting strange bodily fluids on his operating table. Languages, he left to people like Uhura, relying on standard and a few rudimentary phrases for the species that they were most likely to run into in their travels.

Joanna beamed and looked up to Spock. "So I got it right? Mrs. Gurdy, has been teaching us some Vulcan phrases, and I've been practicing, but I wasn't sure." The fact that there weren't any Vulcans in her class for her to practice with as there would have been a few years ago weighed heavy in the air for the adults, and those who had been on the Enterprise that day felt a fleeting moment of grief at the destruction of an entire planet of allies. It lasted only momentarily for those who dwelt on the pain of that day hadn't survived long in the chaos that was Starfleet after the destruction of Vulcan, and if nothing else Kirk and his crew were good at survival.

Forcing himself to compartmentalize the grief that he would never again acknowledge in public, Spock returned his attention to Joanna. "Your greeting was acceptable." Spock gave a small nod with this pronoucement, and noted with a bit of confusion that Joanna's face seemed to fall at the complement. Uhura and Gaila shot Spock an irritated look, and he tried to figure out precisely what about his comment had drawn Joanna's discomfort and his mates' disapproval.

Kirk stepped forward at that moment and placed a gentle hand on Joanna's shoulder, and smiled at her. "Don't worry sweetheart, you did great. Coming from a Vulcan 'acceptable' is high praise." Joanna seemed to be contented with that and settled back against McCoy's chest. Joanna's introductions to Nytoya and Gaila were much smoother with the first telling her how impressed she was that she'd learned the complicated Vulcan greeting so well, and the second telling her that she was the most adorable little girl she'd ever seen.

Kirk's reassurance and Nytoya's bright smile, along with Gaila's typical bubbly cheer brought Joanna back out of her shell, and the evening continued on as before with good conversations and laughter all around. Soon dinner arrived, and if Joanna thought it odd that all of the adults scanned their plates before eating, she didn't mention it. If anything she thought she must be extra special because her daddy, Uncle Jim, Grandpa Pike, and Nana Winona all scanned hers. Once the determination had been made that none of them were in danger of expiring while dining, the meal continued on comfortably.

Kirk had just been congratulating himself on a well executed celebration when disaster struck. It started simply, when Joanna being particularly excited by something she was talking about with her father knocked over her glass of milk. Not of course that there was anything particularly unusual about that, it happened at dinner tables with small children present at them every day. That in itself was hardly a problem, and most of the adults who'd any experience at all with children instantly sprang into action to begin the clean up.

The spilt milk however led to a bigger problem as Joanna's face went pale, her eyes went huge, and she looked up at Kirk in absolute terror. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to!" She was shaking like a leaf, and Kirk found himself really, really wishing he hadn't had Marcus DeWinters killed as humanely as he had. McCoy looked on in horrified stupefaction as Jim knelt beside Joanna's chair, and she flinched away from the hand he raised towards her, as if she was expecting a slap.

He brought said hand into her line of sight, and reached towards her slowly. She was sobbing with her head bowed deeply into her chest by this point, and Kirk made sure that his face showed none of the anger he felt at Jocelyn or Marcus DeWinters as he tilted her chin up to look at him. "Sweetheart it's alright, nobody's mad at you, I promise. It was an accident. No one's going to hurt you over an accident."

Kirk started rubbing slow soothing circles on her back, and the hysterical sobs slowly subsided, until she was sniffling and hiccupping. "Nobody's going to hurt you here, Jo, I promise. Not for anything, but most especially not for knocking over a glass of milk."

Her eyes met his and the uncertainty that he saw there cut him to the quick. "You're not mad?"

"No sweetheart, I'm not mad." Not strictly true, he'd seldom been angrier, but none of it was directed at the small girl in front of him. And as much as he wished he had the power to make the people who'd hurt Joanna suffer, even he couldn't reach the dead.

"Daddy Marcus always got mad at me, when I spilled things, or fell down, or was too noisy." She looked at him suspiciously.

Kirk felt a lurch in his stomach, he remembered what it was like to be small, and never be able to do anything right, not for the person that didn't love you, because you weren't 'their' child. And what he wouldn't give for this little girl not to have known that. He looked at her for a moment, and tried to figure out what someone could have said to him after Frank had beaten the hell out of him. What would have made him feel safe? Finally he settled on the truth, and resigned himself to a long road to get the girl to trust him. "Well I'm not your Daddy Marcus. And I'm not going to get mad at you for any of those things."

"You promise?" There was a slight lilt of optimism in her voice, and he fervently hoped that he'd gotten her out of DeWinters' house before too much damage had been done.

"Cross my heart, and hope to die. Now how about we get you another glass of milk, and we'll even see if we can find you some cookies to go with it. How's that sound?"

She looked over at McCoy, who was valiantly resisting the urge to bury his face in his hand and weep over the damages done to his child in his absence. She tilted her head silently asking his permission, and he nodded. "Dessert first won't hurt just this once sweetheart, go ahead." This coaxed a thin watery smile from her, and while Kirk went over to order her another glass of milk and something horrifically unhealthy to accompany it, she crawled into her daddy's lap. As his arms surrounded her and his hand began to make soothing circles on her back, she began sucking on her thumb and exhausted from the day and her ordeal promptly fell asleep.

Kirk returned a few moments later, and seeing Joanna asleep sat the cookies and milk down on the table, before returning to his chair. The air had gone heavy, and now that Joanna was asleep the mood had shifted to somewhere between horrified and outraged. After a moment, Pike looked to Jim, and asked in a too calm, too quiet voice. "Jim, I'm sure I don't have to ask this, but the son of a bitch that caused that's already dead isn't he?" Kirk nodded with a grimace. "Did he suffer?"

Kirk shook his head disgustedly. "Not nearly enough."

"More's the pity." He looked at the sleeping child on McCoy's lap with a look of what McCoy would swear was profound regret, and he rose and extended a hand to Winona. "I think that we'd best call it an evening folks, it looks like these two need to get Jo tucked in." Jim rose and extended a hand to steady McCoy as he rose carrying the slumbering child. Pike inclined his head. "I'll walk you two back to your quarters." The please, please let someone be stupid enough to try for an assassination attempt so I can kill something was left unspoken, but heard none the less.

Unfortunately the walk back to quarters was woefully uneventful. Once the three of them were inside, Jim gestured towards the bed room. "Go ahead and have her bunk with us tonight, having her wake up alone after that would be a bad plan." McCoy nodded grimly and navigated the short distance as quietly as possible. Kirk turned to follow him, only to be stopped by Pike's restraining hand on his arm.

Pike's eyes searched his face, and the hold on him softened after a moment. "This isn't your fault, Jim. You had no way of knowing that DeWinters was that kind of bastard, and despite the fact that we both knew Jocelyn was a bitch, nothing pointed to her allowing him to harm her child. Hell, McCoy didn't even know it was going on. So don't you dare blame yourself, you hear me."

"Why shouldn't I? I should have seen it sooner. I should have got her out of there sooner. Just-" He gave a deep shuddering sigh that indicated how close he was to tears. "I should have been able to do something. She's so small and so innocent, why would someone do that?" Pike heard the underlying question, the one that revealed Jim's own scars if you knew where to look. _Why would someone have done that to her, to me, what did we do? Why wasn't I good enough? _

Kirk's insecurities were normally buried deep, but Pike hadn't made Admiral in the Empire because he could yodel, for him who knew so much of what had made Jim the man he was the insecurities and fears were laid bare. "Because he was a fucking coward who got his kicks off of beating people who couldn't possibly fight back. This was not your fault. Now the bastard is dead, and what matters here is Joanna. Not some worthless excuse for a man that wasn't worth wiping your boots on." Pike grabbed Jim's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"McCoy's going to need you to be strong for him. As guilty as I know you feel, the weight of his guilt will be worse. He'll feel like a fool, because he'll think he should have known, he should have seen. He'll feel like a failure because he couldn't protect her. You're going to need to remember that the person responsible for this is already dead, and that neither of you are to blame."

"How do you know all this?" Kirk asked trying to regain his composure.

"Your mother is a damn fine woman, Jim, but strong enough to dig a grave in the frozen ground she's not." Pike watched as understanding dawned on Kirk. Pike knew where the body was buried, not because his mother had told him, or been discovered, but because he'd been the one to bury it. "Don't look so surprised, Jim. It's taken a good number of years for me to catch your mother in between husbands. While she was encumbered, I did my best to be a friend to her. And I watched your mother grieve every time she hasn't been able to protect you."

Kirk vaguely remembered waking in the hospital, after the last beating that Frank had given him. His mother had been off planet, and wasn't supposed to be back until for a few days yet. It had been close to Christmas, and Winona had come home early, before the man had a chance to repair the damage that he'd done with the dermal mender. His mother had seen everything, the bloodied stripes on his back, the bruises on his ribs, the dislocated shoulder and bruised cheek. And having seen that what she'd intended to be a nice surprise for her husband and sons, had ended up in bloodshed.

All Kirk remembered for a long time about that night, was the sound of his mother's fury as he slid into unconsciousness. But if he tried really hard, he could remember a man whose face he hadn't seen, leaning over him as he lay in a hospital bed. The voice had been gentle, reassuring him that he'd never have to worry about Frank again. The man had pulled the covers up under his chin before fading away into the night. Kirk hadn't seen him again for years, but he supposed the fact that he had trusted Pike far easier than he should have upon meeting him in the bar made a lot more sense now.

Kirk closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and shoved that part of him that still ached when he saw a child abused into a dark corner of his mind. Pike was right, this wasn't about him, this was about McCoy, and about Joanna. This was not the time to hash out his old insecurities, or deal with some touchy feely bullshit. Frank was dead, DeWinters was dead, and the rage he had burning in his gut because they hadn't suffered enough for the hurt they'd caused, well the next person stupid enough to engage him in a fight would be in for an unpleasant experience.

Kirk looked over at Pike, and saw the man's face bore no judgment at his behavior, instead he saw only the lingering sadness of the evening, and the rage about what could never be set right. But Kirk realized that if this experience had pushed buttons for him, it had undoubtedly done so for his mother as well. "I appreciate the escort, but we're fine here. You should probably head back to your quarters, I'm sure mom could use a 'friend' at the moment."

Pike looked him over consideringly, and then seemingly reassured by what he saw nodded. "You're probably right about that, but if you three need anything you call us, you understand?" Jim nodded, and gave a half assed salute that more than anything reassured Pike that he was feeling better. He headed back to his quarters, bracing himself all the while for the fact that Winona was pretty much guaranteed to be a mess when he got there. The pall over the evening was so pervasive that even the young ensign brought to stammering terror bordering on petrification just by his mere presence didn't even cheer him up.

Meanwhile with his heart in his throat, Kirk padded quietly to the bedroom door, and peaked inside to find McCoy sitting in chair beside the bed holding his tricorder in one hand while he watched Joanna sleep. Both of her tiny hands were wrapped around McCoy's larger one, holding onto it as she slept, and the eyes that rose to meet his were haunted. Kirk having no words to comfort the distraught man, walked over, took the tricorder from his numb fingers, and pulled up a chair and sat beside him.

He never felt more helpless than when he had to simply sit and let McCoy's shoulders shake in silent sobs. He allowed Kirk to wrap an arm around his shoulders and leaned into the offered shoulder, all the while never breaking the grip that Joanna had on him. Finally when he had no more tears, Kirk dried his cheeks, and pressed his lips to McCoy's forehead. He kept his voice a whisper, so as not to wake the slumbering child between them. "This was not your fault, McCoy. This was not your fault." But the haunted look never quite left McCoy's eyes, and Kirk knew that he was in for difficult time proving to McCoy that the culpability in this case was not his. And as they watched the sleeping child between them, both knew that rest would not come easily for either of them this night.

AN: And now ya'll know why I posted the happy Glimpses Through A Shard piece around the same time as this one, abused or neglected children, really, really hard to write, and I needed something to cheer me up. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out, it's a bit of fill in of how Kirk came to be so bloody obsessed with McCoy.

Vulcan Translations (according to VLD)

Na'shaya – greeting

Mene sakkhet ur-seveh- Live long and prosper

Now to address comments that were brought up in an anonymous review. No, actually not all small children automatically love their parents. Secure, happy, well cared for children, they love their parents. We're wired when we come into this world to want to love our parents. But when all we encounter is neglect, distance, and abuse, we don't bond with said parents. Is it an indicator of a healthy psycho-social development, no, not really. Does it happen none the less in cases of neglect, inconsistent care, and abuse, oh yeah. Don't believe me look up attachment theory.

The reaction that the human brain and psyche has to trauma is a complex and individual process. Considering the fact that I've had Joanna on screen so to speak for about a page and a half prior to this chapter, it would be reasonable to assume that her character development is still in progress. I'll not be hurrying it, as that cheapens her as a character, so hold your horses.

Even a grieving child can be expected to experience happiness when reunited with a beloved parent. Accepting death takes time for children who've never experienced it. For someone who has no concept of death, there are multiple small moments in which awareness arises that the person they've lost is gone. Granted all of this assumes that Joanna was securely attached enough to her mother for her loss to be traumatic, which is not, as I've mentioned above, a given.

As for McCoy's finances, in theory he should be wealthy at this point. He makes plenty of money. I mean really, he's the chief medical officer of the flagship of the fleet and instrumental in saving Earth from destruction, it's not like they aren't going to pay him well. To an outsider like Raines, the CMO of the flagship of the fleet would appear to be financially secure, and it would be a fair assumption that he has some political capital as well. These would be reasonable assumptions for any member of Starfleet that wasn't McCoy, who is spreading himself thin financially taking care of everyone else, and doesn't believe in extorting favors for treatment.

Unlike his father he pays far more than the minimum required child support, has been covering Joanna's tuition at the best private school he can afford, has been trying to help his mother, and has to bribe Jocelyn for opportunities to interact with Joanna. Granted he wears uniforms most of the time, works like a mad man, and his only extraneous expense is booze, so it wouldn't exactly be easy for people who aren't in his close proximity at all times to notice that they never see him with anything not Starfleet issued.

Kirk knows better, but an outside observer like Raines wouldn't, hence Kirk's statement that McCoy's wealthy in his own right. To someone who doesn't know that he's spending everything he can get his hands on for the betterment of his family, leaving little enough in reserve for himself, the man looks rich. Also, at this point, Kirk didn't know that McCoy's father had disowned him, without that piece of information, it would make sense that even if McCoy himself was financially strapped as we the audience know him to be, that his blood kin would help him out should the need arise.

As for the development of said financial life to my mind it goes something like this. Born into privilege, but disowned after the Raines debacle. McCoy, his mother, and his sister live on a very tight budget from that point on because his father is a vindictive bastard. McCoy works hard, and puts himself through college, then borrows the money to go to medical school. He marries Jocelyn, and works to pay off his student loans. After said loans are repaid he can finally start saving, and providing for his family. Joanna is born, his father dies, and everything goes to hell in a hand basket when Jocelyn takes everything he owns and then some in the divorce. This puts him entering Starfleet with nothing but the clothes on his back and a few trinkets.

Now, many apologies to readers, who really didn't feel the need to know every detail of why Joanna wasn't crying unceasingly, or why McCoy is depicted as both wealthy and destitute at the same time, however the problem with anonymous reviews is they don't exactly leave me any other way to respond to questions. To this end I'm making a request, if you have a question, please either submit a signed review, send a personal message, or if you can't be bothered to sign up for an account on the site, consult my profile for my e-mail address and e-mail me. Obviously you're free to ignore said request, but I likewise reserve the right to ignore future anonymous queries.

As always many thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into McCoy and Kirk's little world, though it wasn't as happy as any of us had hoped this time, I'm sure. As always thoughts are always appreciated.

Next up: Kirk has conversations with several members of the McCoy clan, and we get a better grasp of what exactly happened to Joanna.


	49. Chapter 49

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk deals with the McCoy clan.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 0600

Over the course of the night, McCoy had finally fallen asleep, and Kirk steered the sleeping man onto the bed, managing though some miracle not to rouse Joanna. The girl had curled into her father, and Kirk watched over them as they slept. Kirk nodded off in the chair at some point in the night, and woke when Joanna began to stir. She sat up blearily rubbing her eyes, and looked up first at her father, then over at Kirk.

Kirk smiled, and then spoke in a whisper hoping to allow McCoy some more sleep. "Hi, feeling better this morning?" Joanna nodded, and then started wiggling out from under her father's arm. Kirk saw what she was trying to do, and assisted by lifting McCoy's arm to allow her to slip underneath. "Bathroom's that way." Kirk gestured towards the bathroom and Joanna nodded, apparently either as apathetic towards mornings as her father was, or still a little wary around Kirk, too early to tell really.

After a few moments Kirk heard water running and Joanna emerged looking a little more chipper and a little less worn. Kirk had moved to greet her as she returned, and noted her biting her lip uncertainly as she looked at her sleeping father. "Good morning, Joanna. Your daddy had a rough night, would you mind staying with me for a little while, so he can get some sleep?" She seemed to think about it for a moment, wavering between wanting to let McCoy sleep, and not wanting to go off with a stranger. "We can get you some breakfast? I'll bet you're hungry. It's been a long time since dinner."

She thought about it, before cautiously nodding. Kirk smiled, extended his hand, and allowed her to reach out and take it of her own accord. They made their way into the dining room, and Kirk showed her to her seat at the table with an exaggerated flourish. "Your table, my lady, and what might the young lady like for breakfast this morning?"

She thought about it for a moment before answering. "Ice cream!"

Kirk mentally cursed himself. He should have known better than to allow a child free reign over breakfast choices, especially one who had every reason to be pushing her boundaries right now. He remembered the sickening feeling of dread of wondering what might set Frank off, of finally feeling so desperate to have the anticipation over with that he'd bait him. All the while knowing that after the beating there would either be a respite and that he wouldn't have to tiptoe around the man who ran his life while his mother was away, or he'd be dead.

He'd almost come to enjoy what came afterwards, a period of contrition in which he was catered to and spoiled. It was normally during this period of time that Frank would tell him that he shouldn't tell his mother about what had happened, because she'd be disappointed in him for misbehaving while she was away. It wasn't till he'd seen the rage in his mother's eyes as Frank stood above him with a belt that he'd known that for a lie. Given all this, he was very aware of the fact that Joanna would ask him for the sun, the moon, and the stars, to see what she could get away with. To see if that tiny little thing more would be what pushed him into hitting her, or yelling at her, or locking her in a dark closet somewhere.

McCoy would probably have his guts for garters, but he'd lose ground with Joanna if he went all authoritarian now. He shrugged to himself, hell, one time couldn't hurt. Really ice cream had milk in it right, that meant it was practically healthy, didn't it? Besides, the kid had a really lousy night, and deserved a little coddling. He looked at her seriously. "This is going to be our little secret alright, no telling your daddy on me alright?" She nodded, and smiled slightly. "Alright, ice cream for breakfast it is."

In a moment Kirk sat down across from Joanna with a cup of coffee for him, and a banana split so big that the table practically groaned when he sat it down. There was, Kirk reassured himself, fruit, dairy, protein, and carbohydrates in Joanna's breakfast. He could totally tell Bones that he'd fed his little girl a balanced breakfast when he woke up. And who was he kidding the look of excitement when he'd sat the ice cream in front of her had been priceless.

He realized that unlike most of the citizens of the Empire, he didn't want Joanna to be afraid of him. Instead he wanted her to like him, above and beyond the fact that it would cement his relationship with McCoy. He'd had a sickening realization last night. He never wanted to be like Frank. He never wanted to be the kind of stepfather that he'd had the misfortune of having. And he totally wasn't above bribing McCoy's kid with ice cream if it stopped her from flinching when he reached towards her.

Joanna began attacking her ice cream with a single minded focus, and after a few moments of silence she finally looked up at him. "Are you and my daddy married now?"

Jim did his level best not to choke on his coffee. He had faced down pissed of Klingons, fought insane Romulans, and damn near been killed by a homicidal Vulcan. He was not scared of a little girl. Oh, who the hell was he trying to kid, he was fucking terrified. If he fucked this up, it'd do irreparable damage to his burgeoning relationship, and make him feel like the world's biggest dick.

He took a moment to breathe, and then looked into eyes so very much like McCoy's. She was her father in miniature, save a bit more delicate. But the fiery challenge in her eyes and the set of her jaw, totally McCoy. He realized that she was probably equally terrified of him, scared of yet another important decision in her life being made without thought of her, or consulting her to determine her feelings about it. "No, Jo, I'm not married to your father. And I don't have any plans of doing so in the near future."

"Then why is he sleeping in your quarters? Why'd your mommy come visit my grandma, and tell me I could call her grandma?" She looked at him doubtfully, and he remembered that along with a hell of a lot of emotional baggage, this little girl had inherited her daddy's scarily high IQ too. Bullshitting would be a really, really bad idea.

"I care a lot about your daddy. I want to keep him safe, and make him happy. He's safer here with me than he'd be on his own. My mom gets a little overzealous at times, but she wants to keep you and your daddy safe too." Well that was a nice sanitized version of the events that led to McCoy being in his bed, but it was true enough that it wouldn't set off Joanna's probably very finely honed bullshit meter.

And probably a lot less likely to get him in trouble than I enjoy watching your daddy come while he's screaming my name, so I keep the other jackasses from killing the two of you. The fact that the pair of them makes you want to bundle them up in bubble wrap to keep them all pretty and shiny and safe, that totally has nothing to do with it, right. His relationship with McCoy was complicated, and certainly not fit for little ears. It wasn't the fairy tale that little girl's dreams were made of, but it was real and somehow all the more precious for it.

She looked at him her brow creased in confusion. "What's over-jelly-ous mean?" Ah, right, scary smart but still a kid. No fifty credit words.

"Overzealous? It means that my mom goes a little overboard, tries to do too much to fast sometimes. But you don't have to call her Grandma, not unless you want to. You can, but you don't have to, ok?"

"You're sure she won't be mad?" The uncertain waver in her voice and the trepidation in her eyes was enough to make him curse Marcus and Jocelyn all over again. He reminded himself that he needed to focus on the child and not his need to break something. He gave her a reassuring smile, and gave himself the consolation that he could break lots of things latter when McCoy was awake and Joanna was safely with him.

"No sweetheart, she's not going to get mad at you. She just wants to get to know you better, all of us do. So that's what we're going to do this week, you're going to spend time with your daddy, and we're all going to get to know each other a little better." He paused trying to find the words to explain the position that McCoy and he were in to her. They weren't married, which had obviously pleased the girl, but they were family now, which probably wouldn't.

"You see, your daddy and I aren't married, but both of you are part of my family now." He held up his hands, when he noticed the frown start to cross her face. "Relax, I'm not going to try to take anyone's place, and you don't have to do anything that you don't want to."

He thought about that for a moment and realized he needed to clarify, because the last thing he wanted was to get into an argument later with bad behavior justified by 'but Uncle Jim said'. He knew that card, had played it with his mother's third husband very effectively in fact. "Unless your daddy says you have to, but that's between you and him, got it?" At her nod of understanding he continued. "I'm guessing you haven't ever had an uncle before have you?"

She shook her head, seemingly confused by the question. "No, I have an aunt, but she doesn't want to talk to me. Daddy doesn't like her very much." There was sadness in her tone, as if she thought that the reason that she hadn't talked to her aunt meant that there was something wrong with her, not something amiss with her aunt. Best nip that in the bud.

"Well sweetheart, that's because she isn't a very good aunt, or a very good sister. But since you've never had an uncle, you don't know exactly what it means, and that's all right." He watched her shift in her seat a little, but she gave very little away. He knew she had to be uncomfortable and frightened, and shuddered to think how Jocelyn had gotten her to this point of obscuring emotions at this early an age. "It might mean different things for other people, but for me being your uncle means that I'm going to help your daddy take care of you. I'm not going to let anybody hurt you, and I'm not going to get angry with you like your Daddy Marcus did."

He paused and gave her a moment to process what he'd said. Then, slightly reassured by the fact that she hadn't flinched or otherwise displayed any signs of discomfort or fear, he continued. "I expect you to listen to me and your daddy, and do your best you when you're at school. And I expect you to tell me if anyone scares you, or tries to hurt you, or bothers you ok?"

She looked at him as if to say, that can't possibly be all that you want from me. But layered over that was the question of why he would be so nice to her when her daddy wasn't with them. That he expected the suspicion didn't ease the pain of it, but the question that she had next wasn't what he had anticipated. "You're not going to get mad when daddy wants to talk to me?" He hadn't expected that to be a sticking point for DeWinters, hadn't really expected to find that he'd cared enough to give a damn who Joanna had talked to. Though he supposed having a kid constantly asking for a daddy that wasn't you probably did tend to remind you that they weren't yours.

"Nope, he can call you as often as he wants to, and I'll set it up so you can call him too. I can't promise you'll always get to talk to him right away, because he's got a very important job, fixing people when they've gotten hurt. But I promise, I won't get mad no matter how many times you call us, or how many times he calls you, ok?"

She nodded. "You really don't mind? And you promise not to get mad?"

"Cross my heart, now eat your breakfast before it melts." He smiled at her over his coffee cup as she dug back into the ice cream with a relish. "And the occasional ice cream for breakfast thing, that's our little secret ok? Your daddy would probably want you eating something a lot less sugary."

Joanna smiled conspiratorially, and nudged the ice cream towards Kirk, who grabbed a spoon, and started helping her with the mountain of ice cream. Once the ice cream was eaten, and the evidence of their breakfast was hidden, Kirk breathed a sigh of relief, at least McCoy hadn't caught him red handed feeding the kid enough sugar to turn her blood into syrup. Though the ground he'd gained would totally have been worth a lecture from the good doctor about proper nutrition.

He didn't expect that he'd be getting spontaneous hugs anytime soon, or that this would be the only conversation they'd have where he'd be compared to Marcus DeWinters in ways that would make him want to commit necromancy, so that he could have a very painful chat with good old 'Daddy Marcus'. But as far as first solo chats go, she wasn't screaming, and the shared ice cream overture was a good sign. "Your daddy had a rough night, want to help me surprise him?" She nodded, and Kirk grinned.

Captain's Quarters 0730

McCoy woke to a tugging on his arm, and a high pitched voice. "Daddy!" Kirk was privately impressed by Joanna's ability to draw this out into a four syllables. "Wake up, we made you breakfast!" A cracked eye revealed Kirk's form holding a heavily laden tray, and Joanna's bouncing form. "Daddy, wake up! "

"Alright baby, I'm up. What's this about breakfast?"

"We made you breakfast daddy. Your favorite, gramma's banana pancakes. Come on." The tugging continued until McCoy levered himself up against the headboard and Kirk placed the tray on his lap. A steaming mug of coffee was sat on the bed side table, and Joanna climbed over his legs to flop down beside of him.

He looked between Kirk and Joanna, who had a grin on her face that belied the way that he'd spent the evening. No harm seemed to be done, but he really, really wanted to know what had happened since he'd fallen asleep last night to change the situation so extremely. Kirk took a seat at the foot of the bed, allowing Joanna a closer proximity to her father. This morning Jo seemed to be showing no signs of the prior night's terror, and he couldn't help but wonder if the whole event had been a nightmare.

Then he saw the two chairs poised by the bed, and felt the grit in his eyes that only came from copious amounts of crying. He decided not to rock the boat, until he could get an update from Kirk, and get Joanna down to Med Bay. Only the fact that the tricorder had shown no recent injuries coupled with his shock had kept him from taking her directly there last night. "So, how did I rate breakfast in bed, Jo?"

"It was Uncle Jim's idea, but I picked it out, and pressed the buttons on the replicator all by myself!" He noted that she didn't seem to stammer over the 'Uncle' Jim part, as she had when she'd first met him. And wondered how exactly Kirk had put her at ease in the short amount of time that they'd had before he woke. Before he could question it, Kirk handed him a standard pain blocker, which he took given that the crying the night before had left him with a nagging headache.

"And Joanna and I had a nice chat while you were asleep. We're going to arrange it so she can call you anytime she wants to." Seeing McCoy's face fall as he knew that there would be times that those calls would go unanswered for hours or even days, Kirk continued before the guilt he felt could over take him. "But, she understands that she won't always be able to talk with you right away, but she can call us as much as she wants."

"And Uncle Jim promises that he won't get mad that I want to talk to you."

"Did your mommy and Marcus get mad when you wanted to talk to me, sweetheart?" McCoy reminded himself that being angry at a dead woman did nothing for his baby girl. So he swallowed the urge to curse, and kept his attention focused on finding out exactly what had happened to his baby girl.

Joanna nodded solemnly. "Mommy kept telling me that you weren't my daddy anymore, and Daddy Marcus got all red in the face and loud whenever I told him he wasn't my daddy. They wanted to change my name, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to stop being your little girl." Oh McCoy most certainly remembered that particular conversation, not long after Marcus had finally put an undeniably expensive and tacky wedding ring on Jocelyn's left hand.

He began rubbing her back like he'd done when she'd been tiny. "You'll never stop being my little girl, not ever. No one is going to take you away from me, baby girl."

"They got mad when I told them that. They wouldn't let me talk when you called, and they tore up the letters you wrote me, if I didn't find them first. And Marcus broke the dolly you sent me for my birthday. He yelled a bunch when I told him that I liked it better than the one that he got me."

McCoy felt his stomach sink, so far he'd gotten that his child had been told that she wasn't his anymore, that she'd been yelled at, and watched a beloved toy shattered in front of her because she wouldn't deny the fact that he was her daddy. He was feeling less sorry for the DeWinters' clan with every word Joanna spoke. While he hadn't liked Kirk's methods for dealing with the family, he had to admit that at least in Marcus' case he was beginning to get the impression that he'd been far, far too kind. "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry about Lula Belle. We'll go shopping first chance we get, and you can pick out any doll baby you want to replace her, hows that sound?"

It'd been a long time since he'd been able to promise his child something, and longer still since he could conceive of actually standing with his daughter while she picked out a toy. And if the money that Kirk had settled on him made him able to keep that promise, he supposed he owed the man a larger debt of gratitude than he'd previously acknowledged. It felt remarkably good to be able to do something like plan an outing with his daughter, without having to grease her mother's palm first, and without having to rely on nutrition nubs instead of meals to offset the cost as he once would have needed to have done.

"It's alright daddy, I don't need a new baby doll. I can call you anytime I want." The light in her eyes indicated that this was something far more remarkable than a doll, and that she thought being able to call her daddy without getting yelled at was the most amazing thing in the world.

McCoy felt his eyes tear up at that, and gave her a one armed squeeze, mindful of his balance as nothing ruined a tender moment quite like cold juice or hot syrup landing in your lap. "Yes darlin, you can." He tickled her side causing her to giggle. "But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to find you the prettiest little baby doll you ever did see."

Kirk resisted the urge to smirk. While he was sure that whatever toy McCoy and Joanna picked out together would be her favorite for a very long time, he had no doubt of the fact that this particular little girl would never want for toys again. Her newly appointed grandparents would see to that. Maybe once McCoy saw how much Pike and Winona dotted on Joanna he'd be able to get away with dispatching the rest of Jocelyn's family. It wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as it would have been to have Jocelyn or Marcus under his tender mercies for a few hours, but it would be something. He wanted blood for what had been done to this little girl, and he wasn't delusional enough to think that it was just because McCoy had been upset by how they treated her. And if Jocelyn's family failed to satisfy, well he did still owe Aunt Cassie some flowers.

AN: Ok, once again Kirk high jacked the chapter. But he was totally not happy with the whole flinching, terrified kid thing. And no, ice cream does not fix everything, so there will be some more rough waters for Joanna. But don't worry, she's quite possibly the best cared for kid in the mirrorverse at this point. And yes, I know folks were looking forward to an enthusiastic naked McCoy thank you for the very generous gift Kirk's given him. Trust me, by the time Joanna goes home, Kirk is likely to be in for something that will make him very, very happy. As always if you liked it, please do share.

Next up: Our new little family learns gets to know each other better, and hopefully a chat between McCoy and 'Uncle' Jim.


	50. Chapter 50

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk deals with the McCoy clan.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 1700

McCoy sat looking into his whiskey, pondering how exactly the world had gone from perfect to pear shaped in less than a day. He had felt the purest moment of happiness he'd had in years when his little girl had finally been in his arms again, but now all he felt was an oppressive sense of failure. How had he not known that his baby needed him? How had he not realized that DeWinters was hurting her? The full battery of tests that he'd given her in Med Bay had revealed far less damage than he'd feared, but that didn't make him feel any better.

With gentle questions and prodding he'd gotten the full story out of her. Marcus had yelled often, thrown things, broken her toys, but never got more physical than an occasional pinch, and grabbing her so hard that he'd left bruises. The scans hadn't revealed any of the hallmarks of physical abuse, no broken bones, no torn muscles, no neurological damage, and thank god absolutely no signs of sexual assault. While he was grateful that it hadn't been worse, that it hadn't been what he'd feared with a dread so thick that it had choked him, he didn't think he'd ever get the image of her cowering in that chair last night out of his head.

He didn't look up as Kirk walked over and sat beside him. After a moment of silence Kirk sighed, knowing that this was one pain he couldn't shield his consort from. "She doesn't blame you, you know." He felt his impotent rage clawing at his gut when even the soft whisper he'd used earned him a flinch from McCoy.

"Doesn't matter, even if she doesn't, she should. I should have known. I should have seen it." The words were spoken in a flat monotone of misery, but at least he was talking. He'd been sitting staring into the whiskey glass since Joanna had gone to play dress up with Winona, Uhura, and Gaila more than an hour ago. She'd been fine when she left, looking forward to seeing the dress that Kirk's mother had promised her. McCoy had managed to hold himself together while Joanna was in the room, but as soon as she departed he poured a glass of whiskey, and sank into the nearest chair.

Kirk paused, trying to figure out some way to make McCoy understand that he wasn't responsible for the actions of someone else, and that in the long run Joanna would be ok. What he should say to make him realize that this was a little bump in what would otherwise be a very smooth road. But, he knew that in the end that wouldn't actually make McCoy feel any better, because it was a bump that he hadn't been able to protect his baby from. And no matter that logically he couldn't have know, since Joanna had never mentioned it, and no one else had known either, because Marcus had exercised enough control to keep anyone that didn't live in the house with them from finding out about it, McCoy was still going to feel guilty.

But Kirk knew he had to try, because watching the man sit in silent agony was the most heartbreaking thing that he'd ever seen. "McCoy, trust me. She knows you love her and that you never would have left her there if you'd known. That matters to her, more than you could ever know. Because she has that, because she knows that, she will be alright."

"You sound pretty sure about that." McCoy's voice was mildly curious even through his misery, his diagnostic mind still refusing to let go of the faintest hint of an undisclosed secret.

"She has a daddy who loves her, and now a very large extended family that will insure that she doesn't end up having anything else bad to deal with. Marcus was a bastard, but he'd only been in her life for a very short period of time. One lousy person doesn't destroy everything that you've given her. She's a little shaken, but give it a little time and she'll be alright."

Despite his reassurance McCoy still looked doubtful. "Look, I get that you're trying to make me feel better. And I appreciate that, but how can you possibly know that?"

Kirk resisted the urge to sigh. He so did not want to have a chat about the fucked up mess that was his childhood despite his mother's best attempts to ensure a better life for him. The world was cruel, and even the best parent couldn't keep a child safe from everything. Particularly when the danger came in the form of someone they should be able to trust. "My mom was remarried three times, and had a slew of other suitors. Not all of them were nice when she wasn't there." Well that was the understatement of the fucking century, but hopefully McCoy would understand that the subject wasn't open for discussion.

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "And precisely how many pieces did they end up in." Kirk felt his agitation fade as McCoy seemed to get that the information was being offered in an attempt to reassure him, not start a therapy session that Kirk didn't want or need. His life was, he acknowledged, probably dysfunctional as all hell. He'd blackmailed McCoy into his bed, which was an admittedly fuck up way of starting a relationship, his most trusted friends had all tried to kill him at least once, and the fact that he wasn't broken and curled up in a ball somewhere after all the shit that he'd seen, probably meant that there were some severe malfunctions in his white matter. But hey, fucked up had worked for him well so far, and he didn't plan on changing it anytime soon.

"Several, as I'm sure DeWinters would if he were still among the living. But that's not the point. The point is that I knew how much my mother loved me, and I knew she would have done anything to keep me safe. Joanna knows the same about you, she's safe now, and working her way towards happy." He reached over and put his hand over McCoy's easing the whisky glass from his clenched fingers and sitting it down. "This won't help." McCoy frowned. "And neither will beating yourself up over something that you can't change. All we can do is be here for her now. The rest will sort itself out in time."

"I always knew Jocelyn was a cold hearted bitch, but I never thought she'd go this far. I knew she thought of Jo as a possession, something that she was jealous as all hell of, thought that if nothing else would help keep her safe. What am I supposed to tell her when she asks me why?"

"You can tell her the truth. That sometimes, people hurt other people not because the other person has done anything wrong, but because there is something broken inside of them. Something in them that makes them needs to make other people as miserable as they are. And you can tell her that it's not going to happen again, because no one is ever going to hurt her again." The fact that Kirk would gladly commit bloody murder to insure that this was true, though plainly written on his face, remained unspoken.

McCoy looked at him the uncertainty and pain beginning to war with a fragile wavering hope. "You really think that she'll be alright?"

"I really, really do." At his words McCoy sighed, closed his eyes. And then he did what he had to do for years as a doctor, and especially as the chief physician on a starship, where he knew pretty much everyone he operated on. He compartmentalized and pushed the fears and insecurities that he held to a more distant place where they wouldn't interfere with his functioning at the moment.

"In case I forgot to say it earlier, thank you. I know this isn't quite how you'd imagined the visit going, and it's certainly not what I'd planned. But even with this, just having her here means more to me than you could ever know. So thank you."

"It's true I'd hoped that there would be a lot more smiles and a lot fewer tears, but we'll get there. And in the meantime I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be." He reached over and put his hand over McCoy's, he still looked a little frail around the edges but Kirk knew that he was no longer in danger of breaking. "Come on, we have to make ourselves presentable. Apparently your mother commandeered part of the galley and is expecting us for dinner."

McCoy shook his head at the thought of his mother terrorizing the kitchen staff of the Empire's floating ode to bad asses and bastards. She probably had them running for the hills with nothing but her temper and a wooden spoon. "You're in for a treat. Momma always cooks to feed an army when she's stressed."

"I'm sure she won't hear any complaints. Only thing I can't figure out is how you stayed so thin when you grew up eating like that." Kirk had read the list of McCoy's favorite foods that his mother had sent along, and he couldn't figure out how the man had come to be the emaciated creature that he'd first brought to his bed. The nutrition nubs exchanged for meals explained a good part of it, but there was no way that he'd gone from a strapping football player in high school and college to the slender man who came to his bed on the basis of that alone.

McCoy shrugged. "My grandpa ran a real live farm and everybody worked for their keep, between that and a football coach that would do Attila the Hun proud, it was all momma could do to keep me from eating her out of house and home."

Kirk had a sudden image of McCoy leaning against a rail fence, with a piece of straw in his teeth and felt a growing affection for the old family farm. "And let me guess, you kept up the insane workouts while you were living on nutrition nubs and protein shakes?"

"I wouldn't call them insane, and you know perfectly well that Starfleet expects all of its officers to be physically active. Why are you asking about this now?" Kirk thought privately that the empire's actual stance on physical fitness was actually something closer to if you want to get fat and out of shape it's your ass, just don't be surprised when someone younger, stronger, and faster than you stabs you in it.

"Just putting some pieces together." He pulled McCoy close for a kiss, ending further conversation for a few moments. "Come on, let's go see your mother, enjoy some of her fabulous cooking, and tell Joanna how pretty she looks all dressed up."

"I can think of worse ways to spend an evening."

Galley 1800

As Kirk and McCoy made their way into the galley, they were met with the smells of roasting meats, and melted chocolate. Eleanor McCoy looked perfectly at ease, wearing a full length apron, and glazing a ham with a deft hand. Kirk grabbed a cookie from the rack where they were cooling, prompting Eleanor to look up pointedly. "Now don't you be spoiling your dinner young man."

Kirk somehow managed to look chagrined while chewing on a chocolate chip cookie that he'd surreptitiously scanned then while McCoy's mother wasn't looking. "No ma'am, just a pre-dinner snack I promise."

"So it's another one with a sweet tooth I've got to feed with you is it?" Kirk nodded smiling broadly as the years faded from his face as he chewed his cookie with a look just shy of orgasmic bliss. "Well then, you'll be a very happy man when we get to desert this evening then. But you'll have none if you don't clean your plate. That goes for both of you." She waved a spoon at McCoy who grinned abashedly.

"Yes momma, vegetables and all, I remember. But if I have another growth spurt I'm going to start hitting my head on the doorways."

Eleanor laughed and shook her head. "Now none of that, you have to set a good example for Jo. She's just like you were, treats anything green like the plague."

Kirk looked at her incredulously. "Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that he, oh proclaimer of the health benefits of all things containing chlorophyll doesn't eat his vegetables?"

McCoy looked over at him and shrugged. "Oh I eat them alright. I never said I liked the blasted things. But I know that I have a need for what's in them, so I eat them like it or not. They grow on you after a while. Kind of like a fungus."

Eleanor sighed and looked up at her son ruefully. "If only my harping worked half so well on that hard headed youngin of yours."

"I'm sure she's fine momma, and I've got scans to prove it. Now how's she doing aside from running from the jolly green giant?"

"Until last night I'd have said fine. But Len, she hasn't mentioned Jocelyn, not once. I know with little ones it takes some time for 'em to figure out that dead really does mean gone, but she's been with me for weeks. Weeks and not a peep."

"Any nightmares?"

"None so far, no crying, nothing, at least not until last night."

"Well there's nothing to do but wait it out. It wasn't as bad as we thought momma, I promise. She'll be ok, we'll make sure of it." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze, which seemed to banish the growing threat of tears.

"I never should have let you marry that woman Leonard. She never loved you like she should have, never cared for Jo the way a mother should. How could she let him do that to her? Her own child, I just don't understand it." She shook her head and turned back towards the stove, dabbing at her eyes with her apron. McCoy looked after her sadly, hating the grief that this was causing her, and the fact that for so many years she'd had so very little to show for loving him so well.

The fact that his father had gotten his comeuppance did little enough to atone for the fact that he'd punished a good woman for loving her children. The fact that the world they lived in praised ruthless ambition over dedication and loyalty wasn't new, but every time he thought of how his divorce versus his mothers had played out, he felt his irrational rage at an imperfect and unjust universe. That she had to run to her family, shamed and begging sanctuary was bad enough. But that Jocelyn, who had been willing to sacrifice her own child to achieve her ends, had been rewarded with wealth and fortune even for a short time seemed to insult every iota of what he knew to be fair and just. Too bad the rest of the world didn't share the same definitions.

If the world had been fair, if the world had been decent, Jocelyn's family wouldn't have been able to bribe the judge. Cassie wouldn't have grown up resenting the fact that she couldn't see her father, who'd always treated her well. Jocelyn wouldn't have been able to convince her that he'd killed his father out of spite, wouldn't have been able to twist his little sister against him. He wouldn't feel the need to ostracize his sister in return for the damaged she'd caused. His mother wouldn't have been left penniless and then broken hearted as she'd had to choose between her children. His little girl would never have been taken from a parent that loved her, and she never would have suffered in a stranger's house.

But the world was not just and fair, it never had been, and likely never would be. So here he was in a flying death trap, watching his mother stave off tears only by virtue of iron will, and bound by law and his word to James Tiberius Kirk. Ok, granted, the last wasn't the torment that he'd expected it to be. But this was so not how he'd planned for life to go for any of them, and at the moment the failure of his life up unto this point crawled under his skin, burrowed there and ate at every nerve. He'd failed at his marriage, at providing for his mother, at protecting his child, and in some dark part of his heart he wondered how long it would be before Kirk realized that he was a broken down hick from nowhere not some goddamn prize.

Kirk resisted the urge to squirm under the heavy weight of the palpable grief and discomfort in the room. Instead he steered an unsteady Miss Eleanor to her seat, and allowed her a moment to gather her composure. "I've told him, and I'll tell you. Joanna's going to be fine. We can't change the past, and no matter how much we might want to, in the end sometimes even the shittiest of things happen to us for good reason. If Jocelyn hadn't been enough of a bitch to take the whole damn planet and leave Len here with no other option but space, do you think he'd been in Starfleet when the Narada incident happened?"

She blinked at him, and then looked to her son trying to figure out what any of this has to do with her son's marriage to that awful woman. Finally getting no direction from her son, she turned back to Kirk and stammered weakly. "Well, no, I suppose not."

"And if he hadn't been there, then life as we know it would have ended. If he hadn't gotten me onto this ship, precisely at the moment that he did, the Enterprise would have warped into the same trap as the rest of the fleet. There would have been no one left to stop Nero, and all of us would be dead. So while I hate that he had to go through a hell of a lot of misery to get here, I can't say that I'm sorry about where he ended up. I'm thinking that Jo's going to be a lot like her daddy in that sense."

He met and held Eleanor's eyes with his electric blue gaze, and spoke with such sincerity that she felt it down to her bones. "You, Jo, Leonard, all of you are part of my family now. And for as much as I may be a bastard, I do by god take care of what is mine. You have my word, that no one will ever hurt Joanna again. She is going to have the life that both of you want for her, all bright and shiny and perfect. She's going to go to the best schools, be received in the best of society, and when the time comes she's going to have the best of the best come to court her nice and proper."

He shifted his gaze over to McCoy for a moment, and saw his consort's reaction to his pronouncement. The naked emotion on his face was bittersweet. It wasn't that Kirk wanted him to be an ungrateful bastard, gratitude was fine, but it sure as hell wasn't what he wanted to see written all over McCoy's face. He wanted the shadow of what he saw dancing at the edges of the man from time to time, the intensity that on occasion made even Pike take pause when McCoy demanded that he 'stay still while your spine regenerates you dammed idiot, because I did not just spend 14 hours patching you up to let you kill yourself now'.

He reminded himself that even though the wait seemed intolerable that the reward would be worth it. One day McCoy would turn the full focus of that burning passion of his on Kirk, one day he would look at Kirk with more than manufactured loyalty in his eyes. Until then Kirk resigned himself to be being satisfied with the gratitude that was at very least a step in the right direction.

Any reply that either of them might have made to his grand promises was interrupting by the chime of the intercom. "Bridge to Captain Kirk." Kirk wasn't sure if he wanted to thank the gods for getting him out of this room before he had to deal with either a crying woman or a friendly 'chat' with his sort of mother in law, or curse for the interruption of his time with McCoy. Looking over at Eleanor who was looking between him and McCoy with the light of dawning awareness of just how serious Jim was, he went with the gratitude angle.

"Bridge acknowledged."

"Sorry to interrupt you, Captain, but your presence is required in Interrogation." That was a surprise. He hadn't expected Komack to move so quickly. Or to think he was stupid enough to fall for the bullshit ruse he'd used to get his men on his ship. Now Komack's men were in his interrogation chamber a full week and a half earlier than expected. Ah, well. McCoy could use some time alone with his mother.

"Sounds like duty calls. I'll be back as soon as I can be, but I wouldn't suggest waiting on dinner. This is probably going to take a while." He leaned over pulling McCoy closer, and conscious of the fact that he was in fact standing in front of McCoy's mother, aimed his parting kiss at his forehead instead of his mouth. "Tell Jo that she looks pretty for me, and try to have a good time." And then like the blazing whirlwind of inevitability that he was, Kirk was gone, and so were two of the cookies that had been cooling on the tray at Eleanor's elbow and both the older and younger of the McCoy clan look after him in disbelief.

AN: Ok guys, I promise I'll be back to writing happy porn in my mirrorverse soon. Apparently my subconscious really likes whaling on McCoy. He's got another secret to find out, one that's going to lead to some very nice scenes between him and Kirk in the near future I promise. As always, I appreciate your reading. If you enjoyed it, please do let me know.

Next up: McCoy discovers something that very nearly shatters him. Kirk is there to put him back together.


	51. Chapter 51

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: McCoy finally hits his breaking point, and Kirk experiences a rare pang of guilt.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 2230

Kirk walked into his quarters on silent feet, disappointed that he'd missed dinner with his new family, but still overall pleased with his night. He'd been pleasantly surprised when Eleanor had sent a tray for him down to Interrogation when it became apparent that he wasn't going to be able to join them for dinner. If her presence didn't cut down on the amount of places that he felt comfortable jumping McCoy, and if McCoy wasn't likely to go into convulsions at the thought of having his child reared in space, he'd be willing to keep her around civilian or not for her cooking.

He smiled at the memory of eating homemade biscuits, honey baked ham, scalloped potatoes, and as a nod to the part of the food pyramid that he was making a grudging acquaintance with for McCoy's continued happiness, green beans prepared in a way that actually made them taste good. And to his surprise apparently watching him calmly eating a meal while Chekov stood polishing his knives and Spock stood menacingly glaring flexing his fingers was a fabulous interrogation technique. Komack's man had been wide eyed and terrified before Chekov ever began peeling the strips of skin from his back in the shape of a hammer and sickle.

By the time he was finished watching Kirk calmly direct the scene while sucking the last of the white chocolate lemon trifle that Mama McCoy had sent for desert, the man was willing to tell them everything that he wanted to know, if only to be afforded the luxury of dying quickly. So here he was with a delicious new piece of intel for Pike in the morning, and as a glance into the bedroom he'd had set up for Joanna reassured him, a peacefully sleeping child in his quarters. Hopefully he could bed down beside her equally peaceful father, and bask in the affection that would most like accompany the gratitude that Kirk had seen on McCoy's face earlier in the evening.

He was surprised to see the lights were dimmed in the dining room, with McCoy seated hunched over resting his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands. Kirk walked over and cautiously sat beside him. This was not the man that he'd left with his mother a few hours ago. Now he just had to figure out why McCoy looked so despondent. After a moment's silence he reached over and placed what he hoped would be a comforting hand on McCoy's shoulder. McCoy started and looked at him, an unspeakable agony shining in those beautiful brown eyes.

He was completely unprepared for what happened next. McCoy stood briefly, then sank to his knees at Kirk's feet in a graceless heap. His head was bent, his pride gone, and every bit of his posture was that of a piteous supplicant. He reached for Kirk's hand, placing a reverent kiss on his palm. Kirk resisted the urge to push him away, struck by the overwhelming sense of wrongness of this situation. He acknowledged that he wanted McCoy in his sway, what man wouldn't? But not like this. He had never wanted this.

He let his fingers trail over the soft hair at McCoy's neck, further unnerved when the intimate caress didn't bring about any kind of response. Instead McCoy just stayed put, seemingly willing to allow Kirk's hands to go where they would. Kirk was uncomfortably reminded of the first night he'd brought McCoy to his bed, the silent wooden acquiescence to demands. Was that really what McCoy thought he wanted from him? Still? He'd understood in the beginning, but he thought that he'd made McCoy understand that he'd have him snark and all. It appeared that he was wrong.

Finally unable to stand the silence any longer, Kirk forced McCoy's eyes up to meet his own. Terror warred with awe in his consort's eyes, and he wondered what could have possibly happened in his absence to cause this abrupt change. "Something has happened. Tell me."

"You saved my little girl." There was a desperate keening in his voice that set Kirk on edge. He had saved Joanna, that was true, but something darker was at work here. This wasn't as simple as you saved my child from some possible future threat. That would and did account for McCoy allowing him to cop a feel without bitching or trying to avoid it, it didn't explain this complete abject submission. He was missing something important.

While he was trying to figure out what precisely he had missed, McCoy crawled up into his lap, and began peppering kisses along his jaw. Kirk turned into them for a moment, reveling in the warmth that this unsolicited affection from his consort caused in him. He almost relented, and let McCoy thank him for whatever thing he thought Jim had done. But the fevered intensity was all wrong. There was an undertone of desperate fear, and that was the one thing that he'd never wanted from McCoy. So he resigned himself to another painful emotional conversation, tangled his fingers in McCoy's hair, and pulled him away from the spot on Jim's neck that he had suddenly found so appealing. "What did I save Jo from?"

"Marcus, bastard wanted her to play dress up, in her mother's nightgown." McCoy's eyes were screwed shut firmly against the tears that were gathering as he thought of his baby in the house with that psycho. The grimace on his face gave Kirk more pause than anything else. Kirk allowed his hands to trail down McCoy's back. "God, Jim, if you hadn't called when you did…"

Kirk felt a sickening feeling in his own stomach. He'd never thought that Joanna was ever in any real danger. Hadn't thought that there was ever any real risk of Marcus sampling the merchandise so to speak, not when there were so many more lucrative markets in which to trade it. He knew from the tests that McCoy had run this morning that he'd been in time, and nothing truly horrific had happened to the girl. But it sounded a lot like things had been far too close for either of their comfort. He'd noticed that Marcus had seemed particularly agitated when he'd called to offer a peaceful resolution to the situation, but he'd had no idea what he'd been interrupting. If he had Marcus would have died a lot more slowly.

Still shuddering in terror at what had almost happened to his little girl, McCoy began placing desperate fevered kisses on Jim's jaw, moving his hips over Jim's lap in ways that would have made Gaila proud. Kirk gasped at the movement, but a closer look at McCoy's face revealed that there was still a desperation and fear there, and Kirk didn't want to cloud what they had like that. He grabbed McCoy's hips to hold them still, and pulled back from the kiss. When McCoy resisted, Kirk issued a growl that gave him momentary pause. He blinked and looked at Kirk puzzled. "I thought this was what you wanted?"

"You never have to trade this for Jo's safety. Understand me? Never. And for the record, yes I do want you. But not like this. Not when you're half mad with grief, and so desperate to protect you and yours that you'd do anything I asked, whether you wanted to or not." He stroked McCoy's cheek gently, and pressed his forehead to McCoy's for a moment breathing in the same air. "When you do this, when you give yourself over to me with no reservations, it will not be because you're scared, or desperate, or out of fucking gratitude. When you do this, it'll be because you want it, just as badly as I do. I'll not cheat either of us by accepting less from you, sorely tempted though I may be."

Once the fact that Kirk wasn't going to respond to his advances sank into McCoy's grief addled brain, he sagged against Kirk like a marionette that had its strings cut. As he trembled Kirk's hands began to run over his back, trying to take away the soul deep ache. Kirk's soothing words however fell on deaf ears, for once he'd realized that Jim wasn't going to allow him to burn of this feverish anxious adrenaline, he retreated into himself, and heard none of the soft words that Kirk plied him with.

McCoy would never forget the question that had shattered his heart, never forget the way that Joanna had looked all dolled up in a real honest to goodness princess dress as she'd said. "_Playing dress up with Nana Winona was lots more fun than playing with daddy Marcus. He wanted me to play dress up in mommy's nightgown. Why'd he want me to do that daddy? It was way too big, and I didn't look like mommy, no matter what he said." _

From what he'd been able to figure out, this had happened not long after Jocelyn had died, and Kirk's call to discuss Joanna's future had interrupted something that would have changed his baby girl forever. In that moment all the theoretical dangers that Kirk had protected Joanna from had coalesced into one very real point. It hadn't been the same with Ethan, even though the thought of what he'd had planned had made McCoy quake, he'd never been close to Joanna. He'd never actually touched her, never spoken to her, seen her smile. Marcus, Marcus had been in the room. Close enough to touch. And the only thing that prevented that had been Kirk.

Kirk's gripped tightened on McCoy, and he steered the still shaking man to bed. He toed off his boots, and lay down beside him pulling him into his arms. Finally McCoy stopped trembling, and fell into an exhausted although troubled sleep. And if Kirk lay awake long after McCoy went to sleep, if he felt a lingering sense of what he supposed was guilt, if he felt knots in his guts at the thought that he had put the sweet little girl laying less than a hundred yards from him in danger. Well, if any of that happened, then he supposed he deserved it.

As he held McCoy he felt a chilling realization. McCoy could never know the role that Kirk played in Jocelyn's death. He had thought that he'd accounted for all the possible variables, thought that he knew Marcus well enough. He'd thought that Joanna would be safe, but that wouldn't matter. If McCoy ever found out that he'd put his little girl in harm's way, he'd never forgive him. He'd never repair that kind of breach, so McCoy could never know. And if the secret weighed heavily on shoulders, if he'd been hoping that McCoy would be the one person he didn't need to keep secrets from, well he supposed that was the price for his mistakes.

AN: So depressing chapter is depressing. I've been working on it for weeks, and I'm still not sure I've got that scene where McCoy falls to his knees quite right. Hopefully there will be more happy times coming soon. Kirk is understandably getting a little annoyed at me for beating up on McCoy, even if it does get him more cuddle time later. As always, please let me know if you enjoyed it, and thank you for reading.

Next Up: The morning after, mother-in-laws, and an erroneous assumption.


	52. Chapter 52

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: The morning after, mother-in-laws, and an erroneous assumption.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 0700

Kirk swallowed his uncertainty as McCoy began to stir in his arms. He wasn't sure what long term effect, if any the night before would have on McCoy. The kneeling thing had been unexpected, and if he were truthful, unsettling. But then people had unpredictable and unusual responses to news like that McCoy had received the night before. He held his breath as McCoy's breathing shifted and his eyes blinked open.

Kirk felt McCoy stiffen as the memories of the night before reentered his awareness, then the spot on his chest where McCoy's cheek was resting grew warm as McCoy blushed. He began to pull away and Kirk's arms tightened around him preventing his retreat. "Unless you've got a pressing physical need to be somewhere else at this moment, you're not going anywhere."

Kirk tilted up McCoy's chin so that he could meet his eyes. He was relieved when instead of the manic misery of the night before, his gaze was met with clarity. After a moment McCoy let his head fall back onto Kirk's shoulder and gave a loud sigh. "You feeling better this morning?"

"You mean besides being embarrassed as all hell?"

Kirk smiled and ran his fingers through the hair at McCoy's nape. "No need to be embarrassed sweetheart. You've had a rough couple of days, and a huge shock on top of that. People respond to those in strange ways sometimes. Besides that, you ok?"

"Other than wondering when the universe is going to stop sending me this kind of bull shit to deal with on a weekly basis, yeah, I'm good."

Kirk winced at the pain in his consort's voice and patted his shoulders and rubbed his back. "I know sweetheart, you and me both. I've never known anyone less deserving of all of this, but I'll be right here with you until we get it figured out, I promise."

McCoy looked at him, swallowed thickly, and after a moment's pause met Jim's eyes. "About last night, I know that couldn't have been easy for you, and I really appreciate it."

Kirk rubbed McCoy's back and smiled softly. "I didn't want to do anything that you'd regret this morning. I mean to earn your trust. I'm not going to take advantage of you when you're half mad with grief." He stroked his fingers down McCoy's cheek to before lightly tapping his chin. "Not that you weren't tempting as all hell mind you."

McCoy frowned and Kirk resisted the urge to stroke the furrowed brow. "Strange definition of tempting you've got there. I don't get what it is that you see in me on a good day, much less when I'm a basket case, like I was last night."

"You really don't have a concept of how awesome you are, do you sweetheart?" Kirk shook his head disapprovingly. "Don't worry, I've got enough confidence for the both of us. And I really, really look forward to making a point of showing you just what I see in you. Once your little girl isn't sleeping a stone's throw away, and likely to walk in at any minute that is."

McCoy looked over at the chronometer, and raised an eyebrow. "I'm surprised that we haven't seen her before now. Jo's normally an early riser."

Kirk shrugged. "There's been a lot of excitement over the past few days, and space travel does throw your sleep schedule off sometimes. How about we use this opportunity to get a shower and clean up a bit?"

McCoy nodded. "Probably a good idea, if I look anywhere near as grungy as I feel, Jo'd probably run screaming on sight."

"Sweetheart, that little girl wouldn't run from you if you were covered in mud from the river Styx. But we'll both feel better after a shower and some coffee, and I think Jo's had quite enough change recently without walking in and seeing the two of us in bed together."

McCoy looked over at him questioningly. "You do realize that she's going to figure out that we're together eventually? Right?" And if McCoy had privately been rehearsing what he was going to say to his little girl if she ever asked why he'd suddenly taken up with Kirk, trying to figure out how to explain that he had a new man in his life, well that was to be expected. But he hadn't really expected that Kirk would be handling this with such careful attention to Jo's feelings.

Kirk nodded, and loosened his hold on McCoy so they could both sit up. "Of course I do. Seeing as it seems she's inherited that scarily big brain from you, it seems likely sooner rather than later. But still, a little time to get used to the idea, and for us to get to know each other a little better first wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Not saying I disagree with that. Just a little bit surprised you feel that way. You seemed eager enough to mark your territory with everyone else." And there it was, Kirk thought, the touch of insecurity that seemed to be peaking through his consort's façade once more. First the comment about not knowing what he saw in him, and now this deep analysis of what really was a common sense tactical decision. Shit, he hated sensitive chats before his first cup of coffee.

He sighed and spread his hands wide with a shrug. "What can I say? Everyone else isn't your kid. I'm fairly certain that she and I can agree on the fact that we both care about you, but she's been through a lot lately, and I don't think rubbing her face in the fact that something else is changing whither she likes it or not is the best way to go about things."

He reached over and squeezed McCoy's shoulder. "Seriously, this has nothing to do with not wanting to tell her we're together. If you want to have a chat with her this morning we can, but I don't think she'll be too thrilled about the idea."

McCoy raised his eyebrow at that. So far 'Uncle Jim' had been every kid's walking fantasy. There was the ice cream for breakfast thing, that he still hadn't told Kirk that he knew about, a fairy tale princess room constructed for her temporary stay, and pretty much any and everything that any kid could want. So he really wanted to know why Kirk thought Jo'd respond badly. "What makes you say that?"

"While we were having breakfast yesterday Jo asked if you and I were married. She didn't seem too keen on the concept. I'm not thinking Jocelyn and Marcus were particularly concerned with her feelings when they got married, and I think it's left her a little gun shy about the whole thing."

McCoy sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose in what seemed to be an attempt at staving off a headache. "You're right. It's amazing how even dead Jocelyn is still causing me problems."

"She'll come around, and kids are a lot more resilient than adults think they are. She'll be back to making us wear ridiculous get ups to drink pretend tea in before you know it."

"You sound pretty sure about that." He raised an eyebrow as Kirk chuckled. "Something you're not telling me?"

"Walked in on her and Pike yesterday. He was drinking fake tea, in a church hat with fake pearls, and smiling all the while. Trust me if she can make that happen, planets are going to move for your kid."

McCoy's jaw dropped, and then began to laugh at the mental image of Christopher 'I Kill Ten Men Before Breakfast Just To Make Sure My Knife Is Sharp Enough' Pike drinking tea and playing dress up. "Please for the love of all that's holy tell me you've got this on film."

Kirk grinned. "Oh you betcha. Along with the phrase 'mining colony on Delta Vega if this gets out Jim'." He sent McCoy a sly grin. "What can I say, your kids a charmer. Chekov's teaching her Russian, Scotty's designing toys, hell Spock even likes her."

"No offense intended Jim, but the greenblooded hobgoblin isn't exactly what I'd look to for a stellar character reference."

Kirk chuckled. After all these years McCoy and Spock still didn't like each other, oh they respected each other, had a grudging level of trust for each other's skills. But they didn't like each other, as was readily apparent in the way that Spock would be even more logical than normal in front of McCoy, and the way that McCoy tended to rail at him for having the emotional sensitivity that god had given a rock. Initially Kirk had been pleased with the rancor that the good doctor held for Spock thinking that it meant he was still holding a grudge because Spock had abandoned him on Delta Vega. As time went on, the animosity between the two had been worrisome, until Spock ended up in Med Bay and Kirk had watched McCoy perform at least two miracles to keep him alive.

Later, he'd brought his chess set by to keep the wounded man company. After all, he had been injured pushing Kirk out of the way of a phaser blast, so it was only fair. His jaw had almost hit the floor, when he'd heard their usual bickering, and McCoy added what almost sounded like an affectionate green blooded hobgoblin to his usual diatribe about how not to be an idiot and end up back in his Med Bay again. Kirk had long since realized that when McCoy bitched it was because he cared about the person he was bitching at.

Kirk had kept a close eye on the two after that, and it seemed that the two men had cultivated a tentative friendship, though they still groused at each other constantly. Fortunately for Spock he never displayed so much as a glance at the good doctor in any lustful manner, and McCoy just seemed to like to poke at the Vulcan. He also seemed to appreciate the fact that Spock was absolutely never excessive when it came to damaging the crew. If a situation required correction, there would be no accidental injuries, none of the normal damage caused by the punishing officer's enjoyment of watching the victim squirm. McCoy had discerned this fairly quickly, and seemed more at ease with Spock than any other member of the bridge crew.

Kirk had to admit he'd been jealous about the fact that McCoy had seemingly preferred Spock's company, but knowing what he knew now about McCoy's past, it made sense. Kirk had never hidden his interest in McCoy, and McCoy had erroneously thought that everyone who wanted to bed him was like Raines. That did go a long way towards explaining why McCoy was always so jumpy around him in the beginning. Once they'd gotten past that hurdle, McCoy seemed almost touch starved, though he'd never admit it, and a few mornings waking to McCoy's limbs tangled with his own had killed his jealousy towards Spock's friendship with his consort.

Now that he realized that McCoy had gravitated towards Spock out of certainty that he wasn't a sexual threat, it made a lot of unpleasant evenings over the past few years seem rather needless. A turn under the shower spray together would chase away any lingering doubt, and then he'd get to spend the morning with his new family. But before any of that could happen, they had to get out of bed. "You know if we don't get our asses in gear, Jo's going to come running in here, and this whole conversation will be a moot point. She's young yes, but sharing a bed is a pretty big red flag."

McCoy nodded conceding the point, and the two of them made their way to the shower. Seduction was traded for speed this morning, and in very short order the two of them stood under the warm waterfall. The shower stall was generous for one person, but a tight fit for two, and so when Kirk leaned over McCoy's shoulder there really was not purpose for it other than grabbing the soap. Kirk's thoughts turned lustful about the time that McCoy turned his head and pressed his lips to Kirk's jaw.

"Something you want sweetheart?"

McCoy attempted an uninterested shrug, failing miserably as Kirk could see the desire on his consort's face. "Well, it has been a few days. And you have gotten me pretty spoiled in that regard. But, if you're not interested…"

Kirk smiled and pressed McCoy against the wall of the shower kissing him fiercely. He brought McCoy's hand down to his cock which had become very interested in the proceedings as soon as he stopped running algorithms in his head, so as not to dwell on the fact that his consort was deliciously naked only a few inches away from him. "Does that feel like I'm not interested? Sweetheart, you should know by now, I always want you. Only question is do you think you can be quiet enough to keep from waking Jo? Because as much as I love those sweet little sounds you make right before you come apart, I don't aim to scar your child for life."

McCoy began stroking Kirk's hard length teasingly. "Well, I guess you'll just have to figure out a way to keep me quiet then won't you?"

"I think I can handle that." Kirk smirked at the challenge in McCoy's eyes and covered his mouth with his own while he reached down and began mirroring McCoy's actions. Kirk swallowed the hitches in McCoy's breath, and the soft little moans as he got closer to the edge. He pulled away to allow McCoy to catch his breath, only to return to his lips as soon as he saw him biting his bottom lip to keep from being heard.

Kirk smiled as he felt the tale tell flutters that signaled McCoy's impending release, and returned a few groans of his own as McCoy's hands quickened their pace, rapidly bringing him to the same need that his consort felt. A hitched breath, an intense shuddering, then silence as hearts began to regain their normal rhythm. Kirk pulled away, ducking his head to kiss McCoy's shoulder, and then resumed his quest for the soap. "So, still think I'm spoiling you?"

"Well, if there's one thing that you can count on, it's James T. Kirk's libido."

Kirk chuckled, and he began sliding soap slick hands over the body that he so admired. "Bones, if we were counting on just my libido, you still wouldn't be sitting comfortably. If I took you every time I wanted you, we'd never leave this room." Kirk ran his thumb over McCoy's lips and trailed a path down to his chin. "Fortunately, my lady provides ample distractions. Because I never want you to know pain in this, and I can't tell you how glad I was that you hadn't before now. Given how tenderhearted you are, I was really expecting the worst."

"Nah, Jocelyn was a mean little bitch, but she wasn't hardly bigger than a minute. And I was never, ever stupid enough to let her tie me up."

Kirk looked at him, blinked, started to open his mouth, shut it, and blinked again. "You mean to tell me that before me there had only been Jocelyn?"

McCoy shrugged, and color started to rise to his cheeks. "Never was the type for one night stands. Before Jocelyn I was working two jobs, and going to school. I didn't have time for a girlfriend. Then I was alone in a new city, and I met Jocelyn. I was still busting my ass to keep my scholarship so I could go to med school, and things just happened. Afterwards, well having my heart stomped on once was enough for me."

"You're amazing you know that?"

"Somehow I don't qualify too busy to date, and then too chicken shit to try again as amazing."

Kirk chuckled. "You're a lot of things sweetheart, but chicken shit isn't one of them." Realizing that both of them had ended up clean during this exchange, Kirk turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and handing one to McCoy who wasn't far behind. "Come on, we've an abundance of women to deal with today. Your mom wants to talk to me, my mom wants to talk to you, and Jo wants to spend the day with us both."

"Why does only one of those things sound like a good thing?"

"Because the other two are old enough to hold sharp utensils and not run around in princess pajamas?"

McCoy chuckled softly, and the two went about the business of getting dressed and ready for the day. McCoy took a moment to enjoy the softness of the sweater that he'd pulled on, and Kirk came up behind him. He circled his arms around McCoy's waist, and rested his chin on McCoy's shoulder as he looked into the mirror. "Happiness looks good on you. You ready to face my mother?"

"You ready to face mine?"

"Not really, but I faced down a hostile Romulan, it can't be that much worse."

"Your mom already threatened to tell you I'd hit on her, I don't think a conversation could get much more awkward."

Kirk frowned. "I'd forgotten about that. I remember promising you something nice after that, but with everything that's happened we haven't gotten around to it yet. We'll have to see if we can't carve out some time once Jo and your mom go home." Kirk's finger's deftly knotted McCoy's sash, and he blinked at the heavy weight of the knife by his side. It'd take a while for him to get used to carrying live steel. As the cold metal made its presence known, Kirk's lips pressed a soft kiss to his cheek as he walked past him, and headed for the replicator.

McCoy looked down at the hilt of the blade, and then the smell of coffee filled his senses. He decided that he could wait until after he'd had a caffeine fix to freak out about the fact that he was now a prominent target, and that Kirk felt he'd be in danger often enough to demand that he arm himself. After all the alternative to belonging to Kirk was that he'd be either mad with grief, insane, or dead. In the scheme of things he supposed a knife wasn't the worst thing he could have been saddled with. He sat across from Kirk sipping coffee, and a few moments later they were greeted with smiles and laughter from his little girl.

As the three of them shared breakfast, he managed to forget the blade hanging at his waist, forgot about the lost anonymity, and the very real possibility that he might have to shed blood to keep himself whole. Instead he enjoyed the lilting sound of his daughter's voice, the warmth of the coffee, and the sweetness of his mother's banana pancakes. There was nothing he could do to fight off unseen and as yet imaginary terrors and threats. For now all he could do was live, and enjoy that bounty which life had offered him. It was, he mused, an almost simplistic world view, but it kept him sane, and that was after all what really mattered.

AN: Ok guys, sorry for the length of time between updates. I'm still not entirely happy with it, but there are only so many times that something can be rewritten. I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I'll get it to ya'll as soon as I can. As always thanks for reading, and if you enjoyed it please let me know.

Next up: Mama McCoy and Mama Kirk talk to their respective son-in-laws


	53. Chapter 53

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Mama McCoy and Mama Kirk talk to their respective son-in-laws

Through A Mirror Darkly

Guest's Quarters 1000

Kirk looked down ruefully at the condensation on his glass. He wasn't quite sure what he'd expected when he'd answered Eleanor McCoy's very politely worded summons. It wasn't being shooed into the sitting room and provided a glass of iced tea. Somehow this made him far more nervous than if she'd greeted him with a phaser. He'd surreptitiously scanned the beverage for poisons, allergens, and contaminates, only to find it clean. Though from the stories that McCoy told about his mother, he was pretty sure that if Eleanor McCoy ever did decide she wanted to kill him that he'd be on his feet, and at the very least see the blow coming.

He wasn't sure how he expected the conversation with this properly put together lady. He was proud when he managed not to spit the mouthful of tea that he'd just taken when she looked at him pointedly and asked. "So Jim, precisely how long have you been sleeping with my son?"

He swallowed the tea that had suddenly become infinitely thicker in his mouth, and gasped. "Of all the possible things that you could have asked me, and you start with that? I'm starting to think all those stories about the genteel reserved south are missing a few pieces."

Eleanor laughed and gestured off handedly. "Oh no, the stories are true, I'm perfectly capable of skirting around an issue for hours. But you're a busy man, and I haven't got a whole lot of patience for people who are out to hurt my children. So if you're thinking to have a dalliance with my son, even a very expensive dalliance, you've got another think coming. Joanna may be too young to figure out exactly what all this means, but I know damn well that you've bedded down with my boy, and I think it's only fair to give you a chance to be mighty plain about your intentions."

Kirk raised an eyebrow, and resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably in his chair. There was a reason he'd never gone the meet the parents route before. This was awkward as all hell. But he reminded himself that McCoy was well worth it, and that his mother was very, very important to him. "The reams of forms that I filled out in triplicate to do right by him didn't suffice?"

Eleanor shot him a pointed glance. "Jocelyn stood before God and man, promised to love and cherish him. Given how that worked out, I think you'll forgive me for being a little cautious."

"And I would gladly rip her heart out for that. I've cared about your son for a long time. I mean to do right by him, you have my word. That's not something that I give lightly." He met her eyes and held them, as she searched him for signs of deception. Seeming satisfied she sat back in her chair and picked up her glass.

"Alright then. One last thing, and we'll consider the topic closed. It's only fair to warn you, if you hurt him, I will make your liver into pate and serve it at the next church luncheon. I don't care how important you are, if you hurt my boy, you will suffer for it. Do we understand each other?"

Kirk looked at this woman, and wondered precisely how a death threat could be endearing. He felt better knowing that McCoy's mother loved him enough to threaten someone of his standing, laughable as her actually being able to follow through on the threat might be. Looking into her completely serious face he realized that there was some small part of him that felt like it was possible, and that he could respect that. "I understand."

Eleanor smiled, and he saw the ghost of the fine looking woman that she'd been before years of worry had lined her face. "I'm glad that we could clear up that bit of unpleasantness. Now you never did answer my question, tell me how all this started. Leonard had mentioned you of course, but never in any kind of way that would have suggested this."

"It's a fairly recent development. Like I said, I've had feelings for him for a while now. But given his past with Raines…he was a bit hesitant about giving me a chance. Then Joanna got into trouble, I helped her, and things just sort of developed from there." As the two continued talking he began to feel the tension in the room decrease. And over the course of the conversation, he came to the conclusion that he rather liked his sort of mother in law. What a pleasant surprise.

Captain's Quarters 1030

McCoy smiled down at his daughter as he twirled around the room with her. Topping her wish list of the moment was learning how to dance, 'like a real princess daddy'. And because with one batted eyelash and smile she could have him completely wrapped around her little finger, they were now waltzing around the room with her perched atop of his feet. The giggles and smiles were worth the slightly sore toes, and as the music stopped he gave her an exaggerated twirl before he stepped back and bowed.

As the chime of the door bell pierced the air McCoy frowned. He'd been enjoying his time with Joanna, and didn't particularly want to waste a moment that he had with her. "Let me see who's at the door princess, why don't you go pick out a story for us to read in a few minutes?" Joanna nodded and darted off, the rustle of taffeta trailing behind her. McCoy resisted the urge to curse as he saw Winona in front of his door. He couldn't exactly avoid Kirk's mother, but at the moment he had very little desire to have another chat with her.

He let her in, vaguely surprised when Joanna came running over to talk to her. "Nana Winona, Daddy's teaching me to dance! Just like a real princess!"

Winona crouched down, somehow managing to make the movement look graceful in the overly glorified layer cake that she was wearing. The smile on her face seemed genuine enough. "Well now, that's wonderful. It just so happens that I have a gift here for a princess in training." She placed the brightly bedecked box on the table, and nodded when Joanna asked if she was allowed to open it. Inside was a fairly large jewelry box, filled with children's dress up jewelry. There were clip on earrings, obscenely large rings, and bracelets galore. But centered in the middle of the box was the main attraction, a 'gold' necklace, with a large pink stone in the middle. Joanna hurriedly put the necklace on, and with a suggestion that she go see how pretty she looked in the bathroom mirror she was off like a shot leaving Winona and McCoy alone.

McCoy looked over at her. "It looks like the jewelry was a big hit. Thank you, but you didn't need to do that."

Winona huffed and waved her hands exasperatedly. "Nonsense, every little girl loves to play dress up, and I always hoped I'd end up with a granddaughter to spoil someday. It seems that Joanna's recovering from her ordeal quite well, I came to make sure that you were doing the same."

McCoy looked over and met strangely sympathetic eyes. "How do you recover from the fact that you weren't able to protect your child?"

Winona closed her eyes and sighed. "You don't. You never do get over it, not really. It's taken me a lot of years to accept that I couldn't have known what was going on in my house when I was off planet. That I couldn't have known, because my husband was careful, and Jim never said anything. But I will never be able to get the image of Frank standing over him with that belt out of my head."

"Jim was abused?" McCoy felt his eyebrows ascend into his hairline. Kirk had mentioned that he'd had problems with his mother's ex-husbands. But he'd never said that he'd been abused. He'd said that he didn't blame his mother for what happened, but he'd never gone into specifics about his childhood. He'd been expecting something more along the lines of being yelled at, or at worst what Marcus had done.

Winona swallowed painfully. "That's a very mild word for what happened to him. I came home a few days before Christmas expecting to surprise my family. Turns out I was the one that got the surprise. Frank was standing over Jim, had beaten him bloody with a leather belt, broken three of his ribs, and dislocated his shoulder. The worst part was that it had been going on for months, every time I left. He made sure to always heal all the damage before I got home, and convinced Jim that I'd be disappointed if I knew he'd been 'bad'."

McCoy took Winona by the arm and led her over to a chair. He could see the distress on her features and realized that this was someone who understood exactly what it was that he'd felt when he found out that Joanna had been in danger and he hadn't even known. Winona reached up and grabbed his wrist in a surprisingly strong grip, and pulled him down into a chair facing her. As she pinned him with a piercing stare he realized that while Kirk may have inherited his father's eyes, the intensity, that was entirely his mother.

"What happened to Joanna wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known, and she doesn't blame you for it. If you keep blaming yourself for things that you can't change and couldn't have known about, you'll just be robbing her of the time and attention that she's due now. She deserves all of you, and you can't give her that if you're wallowing in your grief over what's happened."

"That's easier said than done."

"No one ever said being a parent was going to be easy." She blinked back tears for a moment. "The only reason that I'm telling you all of this is so you don't make the same mistake that I did. Because I was holding onto the past instead of grabbing onto the here and now with both hands, Jim got hurt. I don't want to see the same thing happen to Joanna."

"I appreciate the heads up, but nothing that I can prevent is going to happen to Jo. Just like nothing that you could have prevented happened to Jim. Trust me, if he holds you blameless, then chances are pretty good that you couldn't have known about whatever it was."

"Cold comfort in the end, even if it is true." She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. When she opened her eyes again, the brief moment of vulnerability that she'd shown was gone. "I've kept you long enough, I know how precious every minute is with your child when you have limited opportunities to see them." She swayed slightly when she stood, prompting McCoy to stretch out a stabilizing hand.

"Are you alright?" McCoy's fingers at her wrist immediately searched for her pulse, and his gaze searched her face for signs of illness. She quickly pulled her arm away, and headed for the door.

He grabbed her shoulder, but she shrugged his hand away. The look she shot him was very reminiscent of the one that Kirk gave him when he was bleeding on the transporter pad. "I'm fine. It's just a headache."

He gave her a pointed look. "And do you have headaches like this often?"

"On occasion, it's nothing serious." The tone of voice was just a touch too desperately dismissive for McCoy's comfort. There was more to this than a simple headache.

"And you got your medical degree where?" She huffed in irritation. "That's what I thought. You'll let me know if you have another one, and stop by Med Bay before you leave this ship." She nodded and then attempted to leave again. "And don't think that I'm not going to follow up on this, something tells me that you don't want me to drag you into Med Bay anymore than Jim does. But I will if I have to, we clear on that?" She shot him a hateful look, but nodded then flounced out the door. McCoy sank down on the chair after she left and hoped that Kirk was having better luck with his mother.

AN: Hope ya'll enjoyed this bit, if so please do let me know, and always thank you for reading. It'll be a bit before the next chapter, due to work issues.

Next Chapter: Kirk and McCoy have a few tender moments


	54. Chapter 54

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: It's a bad plan to keep a doctor waiting

Through A Mirror Darkly

Med Bay 1600

McCoy sighed as he looked at the chronometer again, this was the third time that Winona had stood him up for their appointment in the past three days. She was ducking his calls at this point, and had attempted to block his access to her medical records. He wondered how long it would take for her to discover that the CMO of the flagship of the fleet trumped money and the widow of a war hero in that particular game.

So now he sat reading through her file. This wasn't the way that he typically chose to discover what was ailing a patient, but the more reluctant she was to talk to him, the more certain he grew that something was wrong. Up until the past few months all of her tests had come back normal, but he was beginning to see signs of a very large problem. As he continued reading, it became abundantly clear why Winona was avoiding him. She'd been told exactly what was wrong with her, and she'd also been told that there was nothing she could do about it.

Strictly speaking, he wasn't sure if the doctor who'd given her that diagnosis was truly incompetent, or if the prognosis had been worsened to retaliate for some wrong doing that Winona had done to someone at some point. Either way, despite what she'd been told, he could save her. If the cancer hadn't spread too far and fast since her last scan, he could save her. Provided of course, that he could ever get her into his Med Bay to treat her, which wasn't looking particularly likely.

He mulled his options. He could of course tell Kirk. But strictly speaking Winona wasn't technically a member of his crew, and he wasn't sure that Kirk would side with him against his mother. He was sure when he put it as bluntly as 'your mother will die if I don't get her into surgery now', that Jim would most likely come around to his way of thinking. Thing was he really didn't have time to argue.

He needed an updated scan to know what kind of chances he had. And he needed one now. He sighed, and put in a call to the one person who could make Winona do pretty much whatever he damn well wanted, free citizen or no. This was going to strain his relationship with Winona to say the least, but he took comfort in the fact that she would be alive to hate him.

Med Bay 1630

"Christopher Pike, you Neanderthal, put me down this instant!" Every head, including McCoy's, turned and looked over at the entrance to Med Bay. It wasn't everyday that you saw an admiral carrying a screaming woman into the infirmary over his shoulder. McCoy felt his eyebrows touch his hairline. Pike had told him that he would get Winona to medical, he just hadn't mentioned that he'd do so by bringing her bound hand and foot and slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Pike walked into McCoy's office, and set Winona in a chair with a gentleness that betrayed his heavy handed tactics. He sat in the chair beside her, resolutely ignoring the glare that she sent his way. Pike looked at McCoy as if to say this had better be important, because if I've gotten her this pissed at me for nothing, it's your ass. "Well Dr. McCoy, we're here as promised. Now what's all this about?"

McCoy shot Winona an apologetic look. He hadn't known that Pike would be so high handed, but he supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. "I appreciate you assistance, Admiral. But don't you think this," He paused gesturing to the web of rope expertly wound around Winona. "Was just a little excessive?"

"Considering her reaction when I told her she was coming into to see you, no I don't. Somehow I get the impression that this is a little more serious than a missed vaccination. Would one of you kindly tell me what is going on?"

McCoy took a deep breath and swallowed before holding Pike's eyes. "Admiral, whatever there might be between the two of you, Winona is here as my patient. That entitles her to-"

Pike waved off the rest of that statement. "Entitles her to confidentiality. I know. Just as you know that I can order the release of any medical records as ranking officer on this ship. So while your moral fortitude is admirable, it is also completely useless."

McCoy sighed and looked over at Winona. "It's up to you. Do you want me to tell him, or do you want me to send him away?" Both McCoy and Winona knew that Pike would have her records in a matter of hours with one phone call. But still, giving her the choice of having those few hours was the only olive branch he could offer for involving Pike in the first place.

"You might as well tell him. It's not like he's going to find out soon enough anyway." There was a look of resignation on her face, as if she were bracing herself for a rejection that she expected to hurt.

McCoy took a deep breath, pulling over Winona's chart before speaking. "The reason that we're here is that six weeks ago, Winona was diagnosed with a supposedly inoperable brain tumor. I've reviewed her file, and I don't agree with the assessment that the tumor is inoperable or that the condition is fatal. There are several treatment options available, surgery being most one of the most likely. But this-" He met and held Winona's eyes and indicated the scan. "This isn't the death sentence you were told it was."

Winona looked at him blankly, blinked for a moment, and then frowned. "But I went to one of the best doctors in Starfleet, how could this happen?"

McCoy looked at her and saw confusion warring with rage. "There are several reasons that he could have made the diagnosis that he did. I've had a lot more experience and training in dealing with tumors of this sort. It's possible that for him it wasn't operable, while I look at it and can say that it can be removed safely. We'll need to do a more up to date scan to see how the tumor has grown, and what our options are."

"Winona, which doctor did you go see?" There was an unrestrained fury in Pike's voice and McCoy realized that Pike was very likely to arrange something very unpleasant, culminating in something very permanent for the doctor who misdiagnosis Winona.

"Dr. Baker, why?" She raised her eyebrow. "We'd always gotten on relatively well, and he doesn't have any reason to do something like this."

Pike's face darkened, and he growled. "I swear, I'll kill him."

McCoy raised his eyebrow and tried not to let his surprise show. "I take it that you think that this was a purposeful misdiagnosis?"

There were McCoy noticed subtle signs of discomfort in the imperturbable Christopher Pike as he looked over at Winona. "I might have been less than circumspect in expressing my interest in you." Winona met and held his gaze, not looking away until he finally continued. "I might have had words with him in the past." Winona raised an eyebrow and wouldn't allow him to skirt the topic that easily. "Alright, I may have told him that if he didn't stop making advances towards you, I'd break every bone in his body."

McCoy shook his head, once again pondering how the hell he ended up with this crew. And more disturbingly, he actually found the threat almost sweet, clearly the time that he was spending with Kirk was beginning to warp his mind. He pushed how he felt about that aside so that he could focus on the important thing at the moment, getting Winona well. "Well, that would certainly explain the motive for the misdiagnosis. Now why don't we see about getting that updated scan to see how we need to proceed?"

Winona turned that appraising gaze of hers onto him, and he resisted the urge to squirm. "You're sure you can remove it?"

"Depending on the amount of growth, we may attempt to shrink the mass chemically first, but unless your tumor has grown far faster than any I've ever seen, yes, I should be able to remove it safely."

Pike reached over and grabbed Winona's hand. "Winona, I'm sorry. I should have been more reserved in dealing with Baker, or at the very least warned you not to trust him." McCoy was surprised to see the depth of grief in the man's eyes, sorrow at causing the woman he cared for unneeded pain and fear.

Winona gripped his hand interlacing their fingers, and shook her head sharply. "Christopher Pike, don't you dare apologize to me, not for that. That is one of the sweetest things that I've ever heard. And long term, it appears that no significant harm has been done, given that my son happens to have the Fleet's best surgeon on call."

Pike reached over and cupped Winona's cheek, inordinately pleased when she turned into his touch. "Baker's a dead man, no one hurts my girl." Winona actually smiled at that, all the way up to her eyes, as she rarely did, and McCoy felt his voyeur status very keenly as Pike leaned over and placed a very sweet kiss on her lips. After a moment, when the affectionate exchange showed no signs of diminishing, McCoy cleared his throat.

The two of the both jumped back at the noise, and Pike shot him a look somewhere between chagrined and annoyed. "I hate to interrupt, but I think now would be a good time to untie the lady so that we can get on with those tests I mentioned." At Pike's irate look, he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Who'd have ever thought that he'd see the terror of the Empire acting like a hormonally charged teenager? "I promise that the tests will be quick, and then you two can head to where ever you'd like to get better acquainted in whatever fashion you see fit while I interpret the results and come up with some treatment options for you."

Pike sighed and looked over at Winona. "I guess that only leaves me one question."

"What might that be?"

"Are you going to behave and not terrify the nurses if I untie you?" There was obviously something that McCoy was missing, as Winona's shoulders started to shake with laughter, and Pike's face cracked into what appeared for all intents and purposes to be real genuine smile.

"I so solemnly swear, I will not give any of the nurses a concussion, nor use any of the bed pans as discuses if you'll just untie me."

"Well now, I suppose that's the best that I can hope for isn't it." He pulled out his famed and feared knife and made quick work of the ropes holding Winona's hands. Then he bent to the ones binding her feet. Winona shrugged and stretched, enjoying the renewed sense of freedom. McCoy could have sworn that Pike pressed a kiss to Winona's ankle whilst he was underneath her skirt cutting the ropes, and if the hitch in Winona's breathing was any indication, that wasn't the only place that his hands had wandered.

McCoy shook his head firmly to cease that line of thought. He really did not need any images of two people whom were slowly but surely insinuating themselves into his life and family in compromising positions. Granted, he was happy that the two of them were so absorbed in each other, as that gave them less time and energy to focus on him, but still he didn't need the Technicolor images thank you very much. As Pike rose and helped Winona stand, McCoy promised himself a very nice, very large drink to rid the image from his mind of Winona's hand palming Pike's posterior when she thought he wasn't looking.

When he realized that he was potentially caught in a disastrous cluster fuck that could lead to any of the three most feared people on the ship wanting his head on a stick, he cursed and promised himself the whole damn bottle. Normally, patient confidentiality rules didn't cause problems between Captain and CMO. If the Captain wanted to know badly enough, he made it an order and the CMO groused about it but eventually capitulated. But his patient wasn't normally the mother of his Captain and bedmate, as well as the paramour of one of the handful of people who outranked Kirk.

If he told Jim about Winona's condition, Pike would most likely be pissed at him. And he was already on thin ice with Winona, though he expected the news that she wasn't dying anytime soon would probably take care of the resentment she'd had at the inglorious way that she'd been delivered to Med Bay. But if he didn't tell Jim about the fact that Winona was now his most important patient, they were going to have problems.

Even if Winona told him in relatively short order, which he wasn't entirely sure she was going to, Jim would be pissed at him for knowing that something was wrong prior to her arrival in Med Bay and not telling him. As Pike's sharp gaze never left him as he started the scans on Winona, he acknowledged that not only was he in between a rock and a hard place, the only path out was on fire. Damn it to hell, his life had been a whole hell of a lot easier when he'd been a country doctor from Georgia.

AN: Hello ya'll, sorry it's been so long since the last update. I'd planned some Kirk/McCoy fluff for this chapter, but hey, who am I to argue with Tuesday sneezers and Winona was driving me nuts. So we got this instead. As always let me know what ya'll think, and I hope you enjoyed reading. Kirk will make a reappearance next chapter, I promise.

Next up: Kirk finds out about his mother, and McCoy struggles with feelings that he never wanted.


	55. Chapter 55

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk finds out about his mother, and McCoy finds that he's ended up somewhere very different than he'd have expected.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters

2100

McCoy sank into his chair a large glass of bourbon in his hand. He'd kept his spirits up so long as Joanna had been stirring, but now that their quarters had quieted he felt his discontent building. It wasn't that Winona's prognosis looked particularly grim. But for reasons that he didn't want to contemplate, keeping secrets from Kirk bothered him. At the same time he couldn't betray his oath, he just couldn't.

He'd was so deeply lost in thought that he didn't notice the door to their chambers sliding open, until Kirk was half way across the room. He lifted his glass in weary greeting, and tried not to feel guilty as his lack of energy drew Kirk's concern. He knew that he was doing the right thing by keeping this from Jim. It wasn't his secret to tell, but the last thing that he needed right now was Kirk's solicitous concern that served only to make him feel guiltier.

Kirk sank down into a chair beside him, and surveyed McCoy carefully. Seeing no physical cause for the doctor's malaise he relaxed somewhat, and keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the sleeping child just on the other side of a very thin door, he asked. "You look wiped, rough day with Jo?"

McCoy shook his head. "No, spending time with Jo was wonderful, and she seems to be dealing with things far better that I could have ever expected. Just over thinking something that there isn't anything I can do to change."

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "Something that I can help with?" McCoy felt his heart twist as the sincere desire to help that shone in Kirk's eyes. At one time he'd have been shocked by this, but now it only served to make him aware of how easily he had come to want the comfort that Kirk seemed contented to offer him. And historically, for him wanting was the first step to losing. He didn't know if keeping Winona's secret would be what drove a wedge between them, but surely something would.

He realized that he might not love Kirk, but he had come to rely on the simple things that Kirk provided. He hadn't noticed, but he'd rapidly become accustomed to having someone to confide in. Granted he'd become accustomed to it due to Kirk's high handed refusal to let anything he thought was his business lie, but he'd still gotten used to it. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, as he felt for the first time since coming to Kirk's bed the chill of having no one to talk to. Realizing that Kirk was still waiting for his answer he shook his head sadly. "No, nothing can be done about it, and I'd rather not talk about it."

Kirk seemed to be considering pushing the matter for a moment, then as if noticing how uncomfortable McCoy looked backed off. For the moment the good doctor would be better served by pleasurable diversion followed by a good night's sleep. After all Kirk could always pry tomorrow if he had too. "Suit yourself. Finish your drink, and we'll see if I can't distract you at least."

McCoy finished his drink in one swallow, and sat the glass down with a definitive clink before allowing Kirk to lead him into the bedroom. If Kirk noticed that he clung a little tighter, seemed to be a little more desperate for his touch than usual, he had the good sense not to comment on it. And if McCoy stayed awake staring into the silence long after Kirk drifted off into a satisfied sleep, if he counted Kirk's breaths and memorized the feeling of being held tight and wanted, well that was no one's business but his own.

It wasn't that he'd fallen for Kirk. If McCoy was certain of one thing, it was that he didn't love James T. Kirk. But he had gone without the comfort of a lover's touch for so long. It had been so long since someone had looked at him like he was precious. So long since someone craved his company, valued his opinion, notice and cared that he'd had a bad day. And to have those things again after all these years, even if it wasn't through his own design, it had meant everything.

He didn't know how he'd go back to sleeping in an empty bed again. He didn't know if he could go back to long shifts with only a bottle of whisky to comfort him. And more than anything he didn't know if he should thank the man laying by his side for giving him those things, or hate him for letting him see something wonderful that he would never get to keep. Because he knew, just as certainly that space was disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence, that if this secret didn't drive a wedge between them, something would. It was only a matter of time.

Captain's Quarters 0830

McCoy woke to the sound of Kirk selecting his clothes for the morning. He'd finally managed to drift off sometime around 0600, but his dreams had been conflicted and his sleep restless. It was one of those mornings in which he felt worse for having gone to sleep, and he knew that it would be a long miserable day. Kirk looked over at the bed, and seeing that he was awake, came and sat beside him on the bed. He took his chin in his fingers turning it this way in that, frowning at what he saw.

"I promised my mother that I'd meet her this morning for breakfast. Apparently she has something important to tell me. But when I get back we are going to talk about what's bothering you. And whatever it is, we will find a way to take care of it. Because I'm not going to have you stressed and exhausted. That's just not acceptable. Now try to get some more sleep, and I'll be back as soon as I can." He gave McCoy's shoulder a squeeze and pressed a kiss to his forehead as he pulled the covers back over him. And then he was gone, and all McCoy could do was wait for the inevitable.

Captain's Quarters 1000

McCoy sat in one of the dining room chairs. Joanna was currently engaged in a dance lesson with Gaila, and he had no further distractions to rely on. He'd showered and dressed. He'd replicated a cup of coffee that he couldn't bring himself to drink, and toast that he hadn't been able to stomach. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything that he read, and his only saving grace was that he wasn't due in Med Bay, because he didn't think he could function well enough to actually treat any of the patients that might walk through his doors.

Every noise made him jump, and even exhaustion couldn't overcome his anxiety. He winced at the sound of the door, and did his best not to jump when Kirk walked in. A glance at his face while he moved rapidly towards him revealed no outward trace of the anger that McCoy feared, but then Kirk's poker face was renowned around the galaxy. Before McCoy could suss things out further, Kirk was in front of him, pulling him to his feet.

Instead of the rejection or resentment that he'd feared, McCoy found himself on the receiving end of one of the most heated kisses that he'd ever received. Finally when their breath was spent, Kirk pulled back just slightly and leaned his forehead against McCoy's. "My mother told me, she told me what you've done." He pressed his lips to his again, a shorter kiss this time, but with a softer emotion this time. "Thank you. You'll never know how much this means to me."

Finally the fact that he was facing appreciation instead of anger registered for McCoy, and he sagged with relief. "You're not angry that I kept it from you?"

Kirk looked at him shocked. "Of course not, I do get the doctor patient confidentiality thing, I just don't think it ought to apply to people who are going to be tying you up on a regular basis." He pulled back and looked at McCoy for a moment and noticed the diminished tension in his frame. "Please tell me that this wasn't what you were worried about?"

"I didn't want to keep it a secret from you. But I couldn't betray your mother's trust like that either."

Kirk shook his head and pulled McCoy closer. "My poor, beautiful, brilliant, big hearted, bull headed, and completely and utterly moral doctor." Kirk laughed lightly. "Only you would save someone from a slow and painful death sentence, and then be worried that their closest family would give a damn about how you did it."

He guided McCoy over to the couch, and pushed him down as it was readily apparent that his knees were in eminent danger of giving out. "You saved my mother's life McCoy. That buys you one hell of a lot of leeway. You saw something that no one else would have even noticed, you pushed where anyone else would have tread lightly for fear of upsetting the force of nature that's known as my mother, and you saved her life. How could you think that I would be angry with you for anything you had to do to achieve that outcome?"

McCoy's dread had faded, and now he was no longer sure why he'd been so certain that Kirk would be angry. Instead a growing uncertainty replaced his fear. When did he fall to pieces at the idea of Kirk being upset with him? He had always been made of sterner stuff than that. He'd faced down Spock when he'd marooned Kirk, and admirals and crewmates, and raging egos aplenty. What had this time spent in Kirk's bed turned him into? If he kept this up he'd be mooning over Kirk as badly as Chekov, and his dignity would never survive that.

Kirk looked at his consort closely, and took in the tense stance, the furrowed brow, and the stiffness of his shoulders. "You my dear doctor, worry far too much. You've given me something precious, and I mean to thank you for it. Provided that we don't have an audience about yay high lurking about?" Kirk gestured at his hip, right about where Joanna stood on him.

McCoy swallowed thickly still a bit distracted by the thought that he'd somehow come to want Kirk's good opinion. "She's learning how to dance from Gaila. She'll be gone at least another hour."

Jim groaned and then chuckled. "Well now, it's official. We'll have to start looking into convents now. We'll have to send her to one by the time she's twelve." McCoy's eyebrow raised in confusion as he tried to follow Kirk's logic. Seeing his puzzlement Kirk continued in a teasing tone that he'd only shared with a handful of other people. "You don't think the boys will come knocking by then? If she's even half as fine to look at as her daddy, they'll be lined around the block, and you're sending her to get dance lessons from an Orion on top of that?"

McCoy snorted and shook his head. "You need your eyes checked. Jocelyn was always the beauty queen of the family. Jo got the looks from her."

"You know, one of these days I'm going to get you so that you can take a complement, sweetheart. I believe the old adage is practice makes perfect." He lifted McCoy's hand to his lips and placed gentle kiss there. "Come with me sweetheart, we need to work on this very skewed self perception that you have. I'm going to show you just how much I appreciate you." Kirk's arm circled McCoy's waist and pulled him to the doorway of their bedroom. As McCoy felt Kirk's lips brush against his ear as he whispered complements both profound and profane, he thought that there was something very fine about being appreciated indeed.

AN: Now did ya'll really think that Kirk would be angry at McCoy when the end result was him saving his mother's life? Really? McCoy's insecurities are deeply rooted, and make him doubt even the simplest of interactions. So he tends to be deeply pessimistic. Don't fret though, Jim will continue to pleasantly surprise him, and receive a few surprises of his own along the way. As always I hope you enjoyed this, and if so I hope you'll take the time to tell me. I'll endeavor to get the next chapter up a bit sooner. As always thank you for you kind comments, and thank you for reading.

Next up: Kirk continues his 'appreciation' of McCoy.


	56. Chapter 56

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk gives McCoy a little TLC and starts laying the ground work for a grand surprise.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Bedchamber

1020

Much to McCoy's surprise, Kirk's hands didn't immediately divest him of his clothing. Given the look that Kirk had been giving him, the flattery, and the fact that 'appreciation' from Kirk normally equates to multitudes of orgasms, it was a valid assumption that he was going to be naked soon. Instead Kirk guided him to the bed, where he proceeded to remove McCoy's shoes and socks, and then brought his hands up to rest on McCoy's shoulders. Kirk tisked when he felt the tight bands of tension underneath his probing touch, and winced at McCoy's pained groan as he kneaded the tension from the muscles. "Poor thing, you were really torn up about this weren't you?"

Any answer that McCoy could make was silenced by a loud growl from his stomach, which having become accustomed to being fed on a regular basis, now seemed all to happy to protest when he neglected to do so regularly. "Let's see, too upset to eat, couldn't sleep worth a damn, and your shoulders are as tight as a drum. That simply will not do." Kirk tilted his head down, brushing his lips over McCoy's forehead. "It looks like my appreciating you is going to take a backseat for the moment, we're going to need to get you food and some time spent horizontal first. You're going to need your strength."

"Sorry to ruin your plans." McCoy yawned in between words causing Kirk to chuckle.

"No need to apologize sweetheart, I'll adore you later. For the moment just relax, and let me take care of you."

McCoy looked at him wryly. "You do realize you're ruining your blood thirsty image don't you?"

Kirk shrugged, and didn't pause in his efforts to defeat the knotted muscles of McCoy's neck. "Mh, don't care. I'm secure enough in my bad assness to admit that I enjoy taking care of you. That the time I spend with you like this is special to me."

McCoy resisted the rising warmth that those words gave him. But after the growing cold he'd felt eating away at him at the thought of being completely alone again, he couldn't help but turn into Kirk's touch. The unwilling murmur of approval as the tension eased from his shoulders made Kirk's lips quirk up into a smile. "That's it sweetheart, let it go. Just relax for me, and I'll take care of everything."

He pushed McCoy onto his back and gestured for him to get comfortable. "You get comfortable, I'll be right back." McCoy's eyes had drifted almost entirely shut, when Kirk returned carrying a frosty glass. He helped McCoy up into a seated position and slid in behind him, helping prop him up before handing him the glass. "I'm going to make an exception to my no nutritional supplements as a meal substitute just this once, but only because I don't think you can stay awake long enough to handle anything else. We'll make up for it at dinner, might even have some of those green things you like so much."

McCoy noticed as he dutifully drank down the mixture that Kirk had given him that it tasted much better than what he'd concocted previously. Then he'd never really taken the time to make the stuff taste good, instead he'd focused on fulfilling his bodies needs as quickly as possible. Kirk on the other hand had made him a double thick chocolate milkshake that masked the bitter medicinal taste of the nutrient nubs completely. As he finished the glass, he could have sworn that he felt Kirk's lips at his temple, but the call of sleep was too strong to resist.

Observation Deck

1130

Kirk sat watching the stars swirl by as he toyed with the stylus in his hand. After all that had happened in the last few days, he felt more keenly than ever the need to give his consort some sort of tangible gift. He wanted to make a gesture, because despite everything he hadn't missed the air of fragility that McCoy had when he'd returned from breakfast with his mother.

It had only lasted for a moment, but Kirk had seen the uncertainty flicker across his face. The wondering if this would be the straw that broke the camel's back and led to him being abandoned. In many ways it was the same look that Joanna had worn when expecting a blow, and Kirk found it just as unnerving on the older McCoy as he did the younger one.

He pulled up the interweb and began to search. He had the vauge inklings of an idea. It'd have to wait until their next shore leave on Earth, but that was only a few months away. Surely that was time enough to put what he had in mind together. He frowned as he looked at the options open to him. He'd been shopping for this kind of thing before, yes. But never with such a specific set of requirements.

It needed to be close to Eleanor, and Joanna's school. It needed to have a big backyard for Jo to play in, and that pony that he'd promised her. It'd be worth it, even if the grass would make him sneeze. And above all he wanted a place with style. None of the cookie cutter boxy new construction for his family, he wanted the luxurious sprawl and refined air that came with age.

He lost track of time as he mulled the multitude of options before him, until the chiming of the doors alerted him to the incoming presence of another person. His hand instantly went to his dagger, until the subtle hint of magnolia mixed with vanilla reached his nose. "Hello Miss Eleanor, what brings you to the observation deck today?"

She walked over to him and pinned him with a searching look. "I came to see if you could tell me what my son is doing abed at this hour of the day? It's the devil to get the boy to sleep at night, much less during the day. Has he taken ill?"

Kirk shook his head and was quick to offer his reassurances. "No, no nothing like that. He didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night." As he noticed her eyebrow raise, and her stare grow frosty he realized how that comment sounded, and resisted the urge to blush. "He had a lot on his mind, and couldn't sleep."

"Something wrong?" He noted that while Eleanor was better at keeping her face neutral than her son was, both still gave away their every emotion when they spoke. Despite the nonchalant exterior that she was trying to portray, Kirk could tell that Eleanor was worried. Trouble between Kirk and McCoy could go very badly for the whole family, and while Leonard wasn't mercenary enough to be concerned about that, it seemed his mother was. Kirk smiled, it was good to know he wasn't the only one looking out of McCoy in the areas that he refused to look out for himself in.

"It's been handled, just a misunderstanding really." At a probing look that mirrored her son's he continued. "He was worried that I would be angry at him for keeping something from me."

"And were you?" A suspicious look crossed her face, and her tone had become rapidly unfriendly.

"No, I wasn't. He had a good reason for doing so, but as I'm sure you know your son isn't the most trusting of souls." As Eleanor started to protest Kirk held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Which is completely understandable given his past experience, but still means that his faith in my not being a complete and utter bastard is severely lacking."

Sensing that any present threat to her son was past, Eleanor softened. "He'll warm to you in time, I'm sure of it."

"And I'm willing to wait for him to trust me. Just explaining why we had a misunderstanding."

Eleanor fixed him with a searching look, studying his face to determine his honesty. "You've resolved this misunderstanding then I take it?"

"Yes ma'am, we have. At the very least I think he understands that I wasn't angry. Aside from the fact that I was grateful, not angry, I'm not quite sure how much of our conversation he caught. He was pretty worn out." And Kirk privately mused that with any luck the light sedative that he'd slipped in McCoy's milkshake would keep McCoy's stubborn nature from preventing him from getting the rest that he needed. Mama McCoy didn't need to know about that bit though. Best it stayed his little secret.

"Aside from all that I'm glad to see you. I could use your help."

Eleanor raised her eyebrow again. "Now what could a man like you, with an entire ship full of people at your beck and call need my help with?"

"I'm looking for a gift for Leonard. Something to express my appreciation for all that he's done for me. I have some ideas, but I'd love it if you took a look."

"I'd be glad too."

Kirk smiled up at her and indicated the chair too his right, and as she was seated shifted the viewing screen so she could see what he was looking at. "I'm giving strong thought to this one. It needs some work, but it's the best I've found in the area unless you know of something better?"

Eleanor looked at the view screen incredulous for a moment. "That my boy is a lot of gratitude. Are you sure?"

"I have a lot to be appreciative of, unless you know of a place that's better than this one, I'm sure."

Eleanor shook her head slightly. "No, it's without a doubt the finest home within the tricounty area as is, and farther than that if you plan to fix it up. It's only been on the market for as long as it has because none of the locals have enough in their coffers for both renovation and upkeep."

Kirk waved his hands dismissively at that statement. "Rest assured money is not a concern. The fact that I have limited time before our next shore leave poses more of a problem. How much renovation would you say it needs?"

"With the right crew, no more than can be done before you arrive. I have kin a county over that should be able to get it done without a problem. My cousin's always been fond of Leonard, ever since he saved his girl from a bad case of the pox, he won't cheat you."

Kirk nodded. "Well I take it I can count on you for an introduction to this cousin then?"

"Oh most assuredly, and anything else I can do to help of course."

"Well there is one more thing." Kirk smiled and leaned in closer, changing his padd to a drawing function and began to sketch something on the screen.

AN: So now you know the form of the 'something nice' that Kirk has planned for McCoy. I hope that all of ya'll enjoyed this chapter. If so please do let me know. You can expect the next chapter much more quickly than the last one.

Next Up: McCoy figures out that Kirk spiked his drink. Fireworks ensue.


	57. Chapter 57

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: In which Jim gets caught, and McCoy makes him answer for his indiscretion.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 1700

McCoy stirred and then started when he looked at the chronometer. He couldn't believe that he'd slept away most of the day, though he supposed that he shouldn't have been wholly surprised. Still, it was unusual for him to sleep so deeply, particularly in the middle of the day. He stretched and as he headed for the shower his eyes fell on the glass that had contained his milkshake, and an inkling of suspicion started niggling in his mind. He grabbed his tricorder, and ran it over the glass, not entirely surprised when it chimed to alert him to the presence of a foreign substance.

The name on the screen was one that he didn't see all that often, alprazolam, a relatively harmless anti-anxiety drug, now less prevalent than it had been in centuries past, but famous for having a beneficial side effect for anxiety induced insomnia. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and pondered how he felt about the fact that Kirk had drugged him. Granted it wasn't a dangerous drug, and he couldn't argue that he felt better after the sleep, which he probably wouldn't have gotten otherwise. But it was still a drug, and he still hadn't known. That in and of itself was worrisome.

If he was completely honest, he was guilty of having done the same thing to Kirk a few times. He didn't have much choice as stabbing the man with a hypo was damn near impossible, unless he let you. Provided of course that he was in full possession of his faculties at the time, not unconscious by the time he reached Med Bay. Even when he was sluggish due to exhaustion or blood loss, it was still a bitch. McCoy only just got away with it, because at the heart of it Kirk trusted him. One of the other doctors at Starfleet Medical had walked into Kirk's hospital room when he was supposedly sedated, and walked out with his shoulder dislocated and his jaw broken.

Still there was a difference between adding nutritional supplements to Kirk's meals when he was in Med Bay and slipping him a Mickey in their quarters. He should be furious. He should be livid. He should be a lot of things, but well rested and satisfied as he was it was difficult to summon the righteous indignation that such rage would require. He and Kirk would be having a talk about how it was not an acceptable practice to be sure, and he wasn't happy about what had happened, but he could understand it.

He believed that Kirk came to his decision out of a desire to help him, not out of any malicious intent. That mitigated the fact that he'd drugged him partially. And given that he'd sworn that it wasn't a big deal when M'Benga had slipped him the same drug, he couldn't exactly pitch a fit about it being dangerous now. Not if he didn't want to be out a second physician, at any rate, and on a ship as lethal as the Enterprise that would get tiresome quickly.

Still, he couldn't leave such bad behavior unchallenged that would only lead to repeats of it. As he thought about a way to most effectively broach the topic with Kirk to ensure that he thought it over very carefully before drugging him in the future, an idea came to him. It would require some small deception on his part, and a bit of a nudge from a different pharmaceutical to be an effective lesson, but it should help Kirk get the point.

Captain's Quarters 1830

Kirk walked into his quarters, careful to do so quietly in case McCoy was still sleeping. Instead of finding his consort slumbering, he found him sitting in one of the outfits that Kirk had gotten for him. Rather than the softness of the sweaters that he'd worn previously, this outfit clung to McCoy in a way that showed off his form to the best advantage. Tight low slung pants framed his hips in a way that made his mouth water, and the black shirt stretched over the broad shoulders, sculpted arms, and taunt stomach in ways that made Kirk very interested in the evening's proceedings.

McCoy didn't speak, instead rising from his chair and walking over to Kirk. Still not speaking he smiled, grabbed Kirk by the shoulders, and backed him into the wall of their quarters. As Kirk opened his mouth to question, McCoy's lips covered his in a scorching hot kiss and he found himself not particularly caring about the change of protocol. If McCoy wanted to initiate pretty much anything he wanted, a kiss like the one Kirk was currently receiving was a damn fine way to start.

The kiss continued on for a few moments, and while Kirk was a bit surprised at the forcefulness that McCoy was showing, he wasn't exactly complaining. He always knew that under the uptight façade McCoy burned hot, and he'd been having great fun discovering just how to make the good doctor desperate and demanding. As McCoy trailed his lips down Kirk's neck and began laving at his collar bone Kirk's eyes rolled back in his head, and he groaned. The warmth of McCoy's body surrounding him, the scent of his aftershave, and the demanding nature of the kiss all served to make Kirk's heart beat faster, and his blood rush to his cock.

As McCoy pulled away and looked at him, studying the swollen lips, the heaving chest, and the hungry eyes he smiled. This should do the job nicely. He leaned in and brought his lips up to Kirk's ear. "You like that Jim, me coming to you, don't you?"

Kirk nodded, focusing on the warmth and the hand that was trailing down his chest, just lightly teasing his stomach, dipping teasingly under his waist band. "Of course I do. Haven't we discussed in lurid detail how much I want you? I'm not sure what I did to inspire this, but I'll be more than happy to do it again. Repeatedly. Just tell me what it was."

McCoy smirked, oh he'd be telling Kirk alright, but he doubted that blissed out little smile would be hanging around much longer. "I've been waiting for you to come home for a while now Jim, I had everything all planned out. Amazing earth shattering sex, acrobatic feats, and things that would make Gaila blush." As McCoy hand began to ghost over Kirk's hardened length, Kirk felt his world narrow to just the feel of McCoy's hand, the sound of his voice, and the heat surrounding him. This made the next words out of McCoy's mouth all the more effective.

"There's just one little problem, Jim." As Kirk looked at him puzzled he continued stroking over him in ways that left him gasping. "That little addition that you made to my milkshake, pretty much eliminates any chance of me being able to do any of the things that I'd had planned for you tonight." As he finished speaking, McCoy pulled his hand away leaving Kirk hard and aching.

McCoy thought he saw an actual glimmer of dismay at the pronouncement, though he wasn't sure if it was because he knew that McCoy had caught him, or because he wasn't going to get the happy ending that he'd been hoping for. "Turns out that you're not quite as good at figuring out dosages of drugs as M'Benga is, must be that whole lack of medical training thing. And when given in the wrong dosages, one of the side effects of that particular drug is impotence."

McCoy saw real distress in Kirk's eyes now, and he opened his mouth only to be cut off by McCoy's sharp dismissive head shake. "Relax, it's only temporary, and will reverse as soon as the drug makes it's way out of my system. Still, I could be furious. I could choose to not speak to you again for days. I could never trust anything that you tried to give me ever again. I think we'll agree that given the given's any of these would be a reasonable reaction to someone I was starting to trust spiking my drink. I expect that kind of shit from my fellow crew members. I don't expect it from people who want me to trust them."

He noticed that Kirk looked particularly crestfallen at this, and gave him a couple of moments to let the possibilities sink in. "Instead, because I know that you weren't trying to hurt me, and that you were trying to help me, misguided as the attempt was, we're going to handle this situation like this. You're going to spend the night thinking of all the mindblowingly awesome sex that you'd be having right now if you hadn't slipped me that spiked drink. And the next time that you think about slipping me something, you're going to remember that there is a reason that people who don't have medical training shouldn't be messing with prescription drugs."

"And tomorrow?" There was a wary uncertainty in Kirk's voice, and McCoy realized anew that Gaila, Nytoya and Winona had been right. He held an amazing amount of power over Kirk. He could hurt him so easily with a sharp word right now, but the lingering cold he'd felt only hours before curbed his harsh retorts. When he'd feared anger, Kirk had given him acceptance, and appreciation. The least he could do would be to allow both of them the peace that forgiveness would give them.

"Tomorrow, we continue on as we have been, and all is forgiven. But don't think I'll be forgetting this. I won't let this go so easily the next time."

Jim sighed, and his whole body seemed to slump in a cross between aggravation and resignation. "I'm not going to promise that it won't happen again. I regret the side effects, but you needed the rest."

"You ever think on suggesting that I take something rather than sneaking it in my food?"

Kirk snorted and pinned him with a sharp look. "This coming from the man who had to be physically restrained from going to class our first year when he had a fever of 102, swore when he needed stitches that if we'd just give you a bandage and some pain killers he'd be fine, and tried to set your own broken nose while bleeding profusely. Not to mention, more recently trying to get me to let you go back to work the day after you got poisoned." McCoy looked at him as if to say and this excuses you drugging me because.

"You don't exactly have the greatest history of taking care of yourself. I figured if I suggested it, we'd just end up fighting about it. I wanted to give you a good night's sleep, not a hard time. I'm sorry if that upsets you. But I reserve the right to do what I think is needed to take care of you, just like you do when you spike my meals with those extra vitamin supplements you think I don't notice."

"You are not seriously saying that this is my fault?" McCoy looked at him incredulously, heading rapidly towards furious.

"No, but I can tell you that I'll be a whole lot less likely to feel the need if I knew you would take care of yourself without me doing this."

"Had it ever occurred to you that I might have been so self destructive, because I didn't have a whole lot of reasons not to be?" McCoy growled. "With the exception of the last time you mentioned, I had an ex-wife who had been actively trying to kill me, a daughter that I almost never got to see, and a sister who was conspiring with said ex-wife to get my medical license taken. The only thing I had was my work, and the only worth I had to the empire was my skills."

Kirk thought back to his time at the academy. The only rumors that had surrounded McCoy, well at least the ones he hadn't started, were ones about how he never failed. How he did the impossible, how he was the brightest young doctor that Starfleet had ever had. Understanding dawned. McCoy had known he lacked the cruelty to thrive in Starfleet, so he'd made himself safe by making himself famous for the very opposite. While the higher ups thought him foolish and weak, they still wouldn't break someone that was so useful.

"So you pushed yourself past the point of reason and common sense, because you were scared that if you faltered even for a second, you'd lose that too." Kirk's words were quiet, and he rage anew at the indignities that the gentle man before him had suffered.

McCoy nodded. "As for the whole poisoning thing, it's going to take me a little bit of time to get used to the idea that I don't have to be flawless anymore. Turns out, I'm actually not that big a fan of self harm, if you think that a sleeping pill would be helpful or that I need a day off, ask me. You might find yourself surprised."

Kirk studied his face carefully, before sighing and relenting. "All right, I'll ask you first in the future. But if you're hard headed and say no when you're hurting, exhausted, or stressed, I make no promises."

"Well now, I guess that will have to do." Kirk breathed a sigh of relief, as the anger left McCoy's frame. He reached up and carded his fingers through McCoy's hair, happy that he turned towards the touch.

He met McCoy's eyes and held them, brushing his finger across his cheek gently. "You know I didn't mean to hurt you right?" There was a wary uncertainty in Kirk's eyes, which made McCoy's stomach ache. He wasn't the only one with ghosts and guilt in this relationship, at some point maybe he'd find out why Kirk seemed to rely so much on being explicitly told what most people assumed.

McCoy nodded. "Yes, Jim, I know."

"And you're sure no long term damage was done, we don't need to take you to Med Bay or anything?" McCoy had to keep himself from smiling at the nervousness that Kirk displayed as he chewed his lip a bit unconsciously.

"No, no Med Bay trip needed. I'll be fine come morning. It's just going to take a little longer for this dose to burn off than the other one."

Kirk closed his eyes and seemed to relax at McCoy's reassurances. After a moment's silence, Kirk relaxation faded and tension filled him again. "What's this about Jocelyn and Cassie trying to take your medical license? You've mentioned it before, but you were talking about before you came to Starfleet then. I never heard anything about it at the academy. When was this?"

"About a year and a half after I joined Starfleet. They tried to get the state of Georgia to take my license, before they'd been trying at the hospital where I worked. Fortunately, Starfleet saw what I was being charged with and 'convinced' the judge it was in his best interests to leave me where I was."

Kirk's eyebrows rose at that. "What did they charge you with?"

McCoy lowered his head, and his frame took on an air of discomfort. "Patricide." McCoy spoke the words softly, as if it were sharp and shameful.

Kirk brushed his fingers down McCoy's cheek and tilted his face up to meet his eyes. "I can see where that would have made Starfleet happy, they typically reward such initiative. Did you kill your father?" Kirk carefully kept both his fingers and voice gentle, no need to make McCoy feel that Kirk disapproved, when in fact Kirk would have gladly done worse to David McCoy if he could get his hands on him at the moment.

McCoy's eyes darkened with memory, and he slowly shook his head. "No, I didn't kill him. But I didn't save him either."

And as Kirk saw the guilt in his consort's eyes at that fact, he remembered anew just how special McCoy was in this world. Because it seemed that for McCoy, the two were one and the same. And as McCoy's eyes grew wet with the beginning of tears for a man who'd deserved none of the grief his son had for him, Kirk was reminded how very closely he would have to guard him to ensure that he stayed this way.

AN: I'm sure that many of you are surprised by the fact that McCoy didn't have a more violent reaction to the addition to his drink. Truthfully, so am I, but this is what he gave me. Only reason I can give you is that he's done the same to patients for their own good, and he actually believes that Kirk meant well. God help Kirk if he ever does it again, or McCoy does assure me the he won't be the one with temporary impotence.

As always I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. Someone asked how long it had been since the start of the story. Truthfully, I'm not really sure, at some point I'll have to sit down and chart it out. For the moment I'll say that we're getting close to the events of Mirrored Mistletoe, and we'll find out a little more as to why Kirk is always so needy with the verbal reassurances.

Next Up: Joanna and Eleanor's last day on the Enterprise.


	58. Chapter 58

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: A family dinner, a hard conversation, and a surprise for Kirk.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 1715

"If it makes you feel any better you saved him from me." At McCoy's surprised look he continued. "I promise you, if I could have gotten my hands on your father when I found out what he'd done to you, what he'd planned to let happen, he would have suffered. I would have seen to it that he suffered immeasurably, and for a very long time."

Kirk felt his jaw clench and his hands begin to itch for his knife, when he thought of the wrongs that McCoy's father had committed. While he had lacked a father growing up himself, Kirk was absolutely certain that no parent should ever stand by and allow harm to come to their child. Kirk brought his fingers up to McCoy's jaw and stroked over it gently. "He was your father, he should have protected you."

McCoy shook his head, and his eyes cleared no longer seeing into the darkness of his father's hospital room. "Yes, he should have, but he didn't. I shouldn't feel guilty about the fact that I left the man to die in agony when I could have saved him. But I do. Neither of these things are going to change, and I think that we've had enough emotional intensity for one night. "

Kirk looked into his eyes for a moment and then nodded, accepting that now wasn't the time to try to make McCoy see sense about his father's death. "Come on, if we're not going to have mind blowing sex we might as well get ready for dinner. Your mother made you comfort food. She seemed to think you had to be sick since you were sleeping in the middle of the day."

"Normally she'd be right, but since I don't want her chasing you around the kitchen with a ladle I think we'll keep that our little secret." McCoy resisted the urge to smirk at that, but he had to admit it was nice for once to feel that he had an advantage over Kirk. And if it required him leaving a few details out when dealing with his mother, well it wouldn't be the first time.

Kirk gave a reserved nod, more reminiscent of Pike or Spock than himself. "In the interest of family harmony, I'll defer to your judgment on that." McCoy noticed that Kirk seemed deflated, and realized that with the mention of his mother's wrath, he'd brought Kirk back around to guilt. He wouldn't have expected to feel bad about Kirk's bruised feelings, but found it oddly disconcerting to see the man deflated.

"Come on you're in for a treat. Mama's version of comfort food equates to stuff that I normally wouldn't let you touch with a ten foot pole."

"Does that mean I get a pass on the green vegetables for the night?" Kirk looked vaguely hopeful, and McCoy just resisted the urge to shake his head.

"Just this once I think I can let you off the hook. Now go change into something with some stretch in. Momma isn't going to let you go until she's content that you've eaten plenty, she's convinced I don't feed you enough."

Kirk raised his eyebrow. "She thinks I'm too skinny?" He asked incredulously. "She would have had a fit if she'd see you a few months ago then."

McCoy shrugged. "She hadn't seen me in person since right after Nero. At the time she was so happy that I was alive she was willing to overlook that I was scrawny."

Kirk smirked at the thought of Eleanor McCoy taking her son to task over the fact that he wasn't taking care of himself properly. It was a definite relief to know that at least one member of McCoy's family wasn't someone he wanted to flay alive. "So I take it that I have an ally then? I'll keep that in mind next time you decide to work a twenty hour shift."

"Now that's just playing dirty." McCoy protested, with a glare that made Kirk want to smile. Things felt right again and Kirk was grateful.

Kirk gave him a lascivious grin. "Now sweetheart, I never said I played fair. Particularly not when I'm playing for something that I want as much as I want you." Kirk's smile grew even wider when McCoy broke his gaze and color flooded his cheeks.

"Touching as that is, it's time for you to get ready. We're supposed to meet momma in 15 minutes. "

Kirk pushed off of the wall, and smiled. He pressed a kiss to McCoy's cheek as he walked past. "Yes, dear."

Eleanor McCoy's Guest Quarters 1730

A hasty shower and a change into civilian clothes later, and the two of them are standing at Eleanor's door. McCoy hadn't changed, and Kirk found his eyes being drawn to the place where McCoy's collar bone just peaked out from his shirt. He felt the stirrings of lust, all the more potent for the knowledge that he wouldn't be slaking them anytime soon. He wouldn't be allowing himself the luxury of release until McCoy was able to fully participate in the events. And he had to admit, the lesson that McCoy wanted to impart was damned effective.

Kirk reached over and rested his arm around McCoy's waist. "In case I didn't say so earlier, you look amazing in that outfit. And I look forward to making sure that you don't regret the decision that you made tonight."

Eleanor opened the door, cutting off any response that McCoy would have made. She smiled warmly at McCoy, and nodded politely to Kirk. After Eleanor ushered both of them in Joanna came running up to her daddy, and leapt into his arms chattering a mile a minute. Kirk smiled as he watched the two of them together, and felt his heart leap as he saw the unreserved smile on McCoy's face as he twirled his baby girl around the room. He offered his help to Eleanor as McCoy was playing with Joanna, and he helped her carry the hot dishes to the table. When they had the table set, Jim was pleasantly surprised when Joanna grabbed him by the hand and tugged him over to the table, pushing him into the chair across from McCoy. She then sat in between them, leaving the seat across from her for Eleanor.

He enjoyed watching McCoy with his baby, and stroked his fingers over the rim of his glass imagining those full lips of McCoy's beneath his fingers, and realized that he was lusting over McCoy with his child sitting next to him. That was enough to put a damper on his feelings, and allowed him to focus on watching the joy on McCoy's face while he interacted with his beloved child. He chatted with Eleanor, and helped serve Joanna's plate, the only sign that this wasn't the typical family dinner was the dexterity with which he sliced that roast that Eleanor had prepared for them.

The table was copiously absent of anything green, and he found himself staring at a table laden with roasted pork, fried apples, macaroni and cheese, deviled eggs, and buttered biscuits as light as air. He was, truly starting to like his mother in law. As they sat Joanna talked to her father happily, and told them all about her time with Gaila. Kirk was so contented watching this happy scene that he was unprepared when he felt something begin to inch up his leg. He jolted and almost spilled his sweet tea in his lap.

"Everything alright, Jim?" McCoy asked in a innocent voice, Kirk started as he realized that McCoy was teasing him. This continued as he sat back in his chair, and felt the brush of McCoy's foot running along the inside of his thigh. He almost choked again when he felt the sock covered foot brush lightly against his groin, and promised himself that he would make McCoy answer for his teasing later, as McCoy smirked slightly. "You're looking a little flushed."

"Nothing to worry about. I'm fine." And if Kirk's voice squeaked just slightly, he rationalized that was a perfectly normal reaction to the fact that his consort was stroking his rapidly responding dick, while his pseudo-mother in law sat not five feet away completely unaware of the problem. McCoy had the audacity to wink as his foot gave Kirk's cock one final rub, and then turned his attention fully back to Joanna.

While he was certain that the food was excellent as it always was at Eleanor's table, Kirk spent the rest of the meal distracted and focusing on McCoy's lips and hands. If he'd been paying more attention he'd have noticed Eleanor's growing smile, as she grew more and more certain that Kirk was completely besotted with her son. When the desert was served, Kirk was caught between breathing a sigh of relief, and cursing as the warmth of McCoy's foot left his lap.

After a wonderful desert, they settled onto the couches in the living room. Joanna and McCoy whispered to each other and the sound the little girl's laughter filled the room. Eleanor and Jim made small talk, and watched as father and daughter enjoyed each other's company. Finally after several dances, a piggy back ride, and two tickle fights, Joanna lay curled on her daddy's lap, valiantly fighting sleep. "But I don't want to go to sleep daddy, I have to go home tomorrow. I don't want to leave you."

Kirk noticed McCoy's shoulder's stiffen, but had to give him credit for keeping the distress that the protest had certainly caused him, out of his voice. "I know baby, and I don't want you to leave. But you've got to go back to school, and I've got to go help Uncle Jim explore the Universe."

"But why can't I stay with you?" Kirk saw Joanna's lip roll out and the fat tears begin to pool in her eyes. Knowing that this had to be breaking McCoy's heart, he stepped over and crouched down next to Joanna.

"Sweetheart, your daddy would like nothing better than to have you with him always. But a long time ago, when he and your mother were fighting, he made a promise. He promised Starfleet that he'd help fix up people who get hurt or sick while they're exploring for the Empire. That promise let him meet me, and Grandpa Chris, and Gaila. And because he kept the promise that he made, you got to go live with your Grandma, and he gets to see you anytime that I can manage to get the ship close enough to Earth."

"But I like it here, why can't I stay with you and Daddy?" There was more than just a bit of a whine in her voice.

"Sweetheart, I promise you, that if Starfleet would let us, you'd be on the ship with us. But they have rules for how old you have to be to live on a starship, and you're a bit young yet." Joanna crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a glare so similar to McCoy's that he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "Now none of that sweetheart, your daddy and I will be coming to visit you very soon. And there are a couple of really nice surprises waiting for you at your Grandma's house."

Joanna grabbed McCoy's hand in both of her small ones and looked up at him pleadingly. "You promise it won't be long before you visit me, daddy?"

"That's right baby girl. We'll be home for Thanksgiving, or pretty near it. And I'll come see your new school, and your pony, and we'll see if we can't fix up that tree house behind Grandma's house. How's that sound?"

"Well, I guess that'll be ok." She looked over at Kirk. "You promise you'll let him come see me?"

Kirk resisted the urge to wince at the apprehension in her voice, and the way she clung desperately to McCoy's hand. "Cross my heart, we'll come see you as soon as Sulu lands the ship."

"Pinky swear?"

Jim smiled and held out his hand pinky extended. "Pinky swear, we'll be there before you know it. And you can show your daddy around your new school, introduce him to your new friends, and let him meet your pony."

Joanna stared at him intensely for a few moments, and he resisted the urge to squirm under her gaze. Finally seemingly satisfied she nodded, and looked up at McCoy. "Read me a story, daddy?"

"Of course baby, why don't we go back to our quarters where your books are?"

Joanna nodded, hugged Eleanor goodnight, and climbed up McCoy's frame looking to be carried. Kirk said his goodbyes to Eleanor, and surreptitiously kept one hand on his phaser as McCoy carried Joanna back to their quarters. Once they were home, McCoy and Joanna disappeared into her bedroom, and he headed into the bathroom, hoping that a cold shower would help with the problem that McCoy's teasing had left him with.

AN: Hi everyone, I hope that ya'll enjoyed the update. As always thanks for reading, and if you liked it let me (and Kirk) know. I'll have an update on Bought and Paid For up in the next few days. Hope everyone has a happy Halloween.

Next up: Joanna and Eleanor's last day/departure, and Kirk takes full advantage of McCoy's recovery.


	59. Chapter 59

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Joanna and Eleanor hit the road, Jim and McCoy hit the sheets.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Transporter Room 1400

Despite every attempt to make time stop, the appointed hour had come for Joanna and Eleanor to leave. McCoy somehow managed to keep a smile on his face as he reassured Joanna that yes, he and Jim would be coming to visit soon. And yes, she really could call anytime that she wanted. The scene drew a wince from Kirk, who stood by as Joanna clung tightly to her father in one final hug. McCoy pressed a kiss to her forehead and smoothed a hand over her hair as he sat her down on the transporter pad.

"Daddy loves you, baby girl. We'll see you real soon, I promise. You be a good girl for your grandma, you hear?"

Joanna nodded and clung to Eleanor's hand, blinking fast to keep from crying. McCoy stepped back, never letting his smile falter, and Kirk nodded to Chekov. A shimmering moment later, and they were gone. Kirk tried hard to keep his face neutral when McCoy staggered back against him, pain no longer hidden now that Joanna was out of sight. Kirk had experienced a parent leaving from Joanna's perspective, but he'd never realized that it was this hard on the parent.

McCoy looked at him and asked quietly. "I'm not scheduled for Medbay till Gamma shift tomorrow, right?"

Kirk shook his head, and resolved to do whatever was needed to get that look off his consorts face. "No, both of our schedules are free until then."

"Good, we should get back to our quarters. I feel the need to butcher a Hank Williams song." Kirk wrapped an arm around McCoy's shoulders and gave him a comforting squeeze, and steered them down the hall towards their quarters.

"I'll gladly supply you with as much booze as you can drink, Bones. But if you start in with the caterwauling , I will gag you." Kirk fought off the pang of want, as the idea of McCoy stretched out across his bed filled his head. The gag, well that was just icing on the cake. But contrary to the truly disturbing 20th century song he'd found that time in music history, lap dances were not in fact better when the person giving them is crying. So first thing, help McCoy deal with the pain of missing his baby girl. Then fuck him till he can't remember his own name.

"I haven't seen anything in your liquor cabinet that can get me that drunk, so as long as I stay away from the pharmaceuticals we should be ok on that front." By this point they were walking into their quarters, and this gave Kirk the perfect chance to stop and gawk at McCoy.

"McCoy, I have Romulan Ale in my liquor cabinet, for the love of god what does it take to get you that drunk?" Kirk knew that McCoy had the reputation of being able to hold his liquor extremely well, and had seen evidence on several occasions, but to think that his consort couldn't get drunk off of something that would knock lesser men on their asses was worrisome.

"Huh, didn't see that. That should work. Should be pretty close the shine back home."

Kirk's jaw dropped. "You drink moonshine?" Kirk looked him up and down. "You, upstanding citizen that you are, drink illegal whisky brewed in someone's barn? You're willing to drink something that can drive you blind, and you're worried about the dangers of space travel?"

McCoy shrugged, though his lips did begin to quirk up in the faint hint of a smile at the incredulousness in Kirk's voice. "Made it behind the house actually, good stuff. Ran my car off it once when the fuel cell went out."

Kirk shook his head. "Well now I know where your famed alcohol tolerance comes from. Come on in and have a seat at the bar. We'll set you up with a drink, and who knows maybe some handsome fellow will show you a good time later."

"That'd be a considerable improvement from the last time I was in a bar with you." McCoy bit off the comment, his gruffness coming to the forefront.

"Really, when was this? I remember inviting you out to a lot of bars, but you always turned me down." Kirk thought back and couldn't remember ever being able to convince McCoy to come drinking with him. He'd been able to swing the occasional take out dinner, and a never ending bottle of bourbon. He'd even gotten the man drunk a few times, normally on Joanna's birthday. But he'd never been able to convince McCoy to come to a bar with him. He decided that was something he intended to rectify on their next shore leave.

"I was in the bar the night you met Cupcake, finishing up a three day bender, trying to get drunk enough to forget that Starfleet operates in space. Not that it worked, mind you. But the raging hangover did give me something else to focus on during that damn shuttle flight."

Kirk fought off a grimace at the fact that McCoy had been there during his altercation with Cupcake. It wasn't exactly the first impression that he'd wanted to leave McCoy with, and really he'd thought slightly scuffed and in the clothes he'd slept in the night before had been bad enough thank you. "Not one of my most stellar moments, I'll admit."

"That was the reason that I shared my flask with you on the shuttle, figured you were probably the only person there that was as screwed up as I was." McCoy snorted. "Turns out I was wrong about that."

"No you weren't, we were both in pretty bad places at that point." A shadow crossed Kirk's face as he remembered the events that led to him being drunk enough to _lose _a fight with Cupcake. Too bad he hadn't found McCoy in the bar instead of Uhura, they could have cried in their beers together, and probably become fast friends. But then, if they hadn't been in Starfleet, Nero would have fucked over the whole Empire, so could have beens were pretty much moot points at this juncture.

"What was going on that night? I've seen you take on a group like that and not come out with a scratch. How'd Cupcake, of all people, manage to get the drop on you?" It did provide some balm to Kirk's battered ego that McCoy looked bewildered that Cupcake and his friends had been able to get the drop on him.

"Truth be told, I was on a couple day bender myself. I'd just found out that the girl I'd been planning to propose to had been cheating on me."

McCoy's face fell into the genuine sympathy that Kirk had so often seen in him. It was the look that screamed that he cared if someone around him hurt. And it was more precious to Kirk for being all too rare in the Empire. "Well as reasons to drown your sorrows go, that's a pretty big one. So I take it you went with the age old get as drunk as humanly possible, hit on anything remotely attractive, and brawl until no more pain is felt?"

"Hey, I still had standards. You've got to admit, Uhura is a damn fine woman. But yes, that's pretty much what happened. And it worked." He shrugged in response to McCoy's raised eyebrow. "Never said I was the picture of good mental health."

McCoy chuckled at that. "You and me both." Then the traces of good humor fell away, and the compassion in McCoy's eyes warmed the parts of him that still ached from the slight. "Sorry to hear about your girl though. I know how much that had to have hurt you."

"You're right about that, if for no other reason than my wounded pride due to an ass kicking by Cupcake. But it was a long time ago." He smiled and reached over and put his hand over McCoy's. "Besides, if I hadn't lost her, I wouldn't have you, and trust me when I say that you're a definite improvement."

McCoy cursed inwardly as warmth flushed his cheeks, though he admitted it could be the effects of the Romulan Ale that Kirk had served him. That was his story and he was sticking to it, in any case. He also blamed the liquor for the fact that he felt compelled to be far more honest than he'd intended to be. Although he supposed after all the kindness that Kirk had extended to him as of late, returning a small portion of it wouldn't make him look besotted.

"Well as much as I hate to risk swelling your head anymore than it already is, you're quite the improvement over Jocelyn. So it looks like things worked out well for all involved."

"I do believe that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Kirk's smile grew warmer, and McCoy very firmly reminding himself that he did not feel butterflies in his stomach at the sight. Kirk finished his drink and leaned back in his chair. "I also think we might want to go easy on the drinking for a bit, if we're already to the lowered inhibitions point. I don't think either of us wants to be drunk when Joanna calls. Why don't we see if we can't find something else to distract you instead? I seem to recall promising to show you a good time."

"I'm fairly certain that we don't want to be naked when Jo calls either." McCoy looked at him pointedly. "You were the one who didn't want to scar her for life, remember?"

"Nah, naked is a lot easier to fix than drunk. Besides, I've got a base estimate of when they should be getting home. I promise to have you fully clothed before she calls. But by my count I can make you come at least twice before then. Maybe three or four times if you stop being so damned stubborn."

McCoy raised an eyebrow and gave him an incredulous look. "Three or four? You do realize it's only going to take them a couple of hours to get home right? I'm not sure whose stamina you're overestimating, mine or yours."

Kirk smirked and ran his fingers up McCoy's arm, making him shiver. "We've talked about this, Bones, it's not arrogance if you can back it up. As wound up as you are, we can manage at least three." The certainty in Kirk's tone likely would have rankled, had McCoy not known that he was telling the truth. Contrary to everything that McCoy would have believed about Kirk before coming to his bed, the man seemed obsessed with making sure that his partner received pleasure from their encounters.

As reluctant as McCoy might be to admit it, Kirk probably could make him come several times before his family arrived home, as they would still have to catch a shuttle to Georgia from Starfleet headquarters. And that was after the finished beaming across the galaxy. The thought made McCoy nervous, and he realized that he could allow the thought to overwhelm him and make him a basket case. Or he could take Kirk up on his offer.

McCoy swallowed and shifted in his seat at the thought. The drug that he'd taken to suppress his desires while teaching Kirk his lesson had long since worn off. And despite the fact that he'd gone far longer without human contact than this, their time in the shower seemed like an eternity ago. "As long as neither of us ends up flashing our naked asses to my mother or Jo, I can't see a problem with that."

"Just you wait and see, Bones, I'll make a believer of you yet." Kirk smiled at him and moved closer for a kiss. He straddled McCoy's lap, and leisurely explored his mouth while he allowed his fingers to run through McCoy's hair. McCoy sighed and leaned into the touch, and by the time Kirk had started placing kisses on his neck, he felt McCoy's dick hardening against his thigh. "See, I knew I could convince you to come out and play." He started circling his hips, grinding against McCoy's hard length causing his breath to catch.

"That's more like it." He smirked as McCoy's hips shifted up towards him searching out more constant contact. After a few more teasing circles and a groan from McCoy, Kirk slid from McCoy's lap. Kirk sank to his knees in front of him, and nudged McCoy's legs apart. He slid off McCoy's shoes, and caressed his instep before moving to the other foot. He stroked his hands up McCoy's calves and then slid them up his thighs. The warmth of Kirk's fingers brushing against McCoy's fly as he unfastened his pants had him gasping. He readily shifted his hips up to allow Kirk to remove the impediment to those talented hands touching as much of his bare skin as possible. He pulled the confining fabric away, and then lightly ghosted his fingers over the tented boxers he found underneath.

McCoy bit his lip as Kirk's fingers trailed through the dampness that had formed at the head of his cock. He trembled at the just barely there touch, his hands clenched the arms of the chair, and he only just barely reigned in the desire to demand more. Finally taking pity on him, Kirk leaned in close and mouthed McCoy's length through the silk, before pulling back to breathe cool steams of air of the aching flesh. After what seemed like an eternity of the dance between chill and heat, Kirk's fingers made short work of removing McCoy's boxers. And with a wink and a smile Kirk took McCoy's cock in his mouth, and started wringing cries of his name and gods from McCoy.

Kirk chuckled as he brought the normally composed man before him to the point of incoherent swearing, and the vibrations on McCoy's already sensitized flesh quickly brought him over the edge. As his climax overtook him, McCoy experienced a brief moment of regret for not warning Kirk in some way. It had taken massive amounts of jewelry, and an act of congress to get Jocelyn to do something like this for him once they were married. The last thing that he wanted to do was give Kirk a reason to withhold something that felt so very good. It seemed to be a moot fear as Kirk sat back on his haunches, and grinned wolfishly at McCoy. "That's one."

Kirk rose, and pulled McCoy to his feet. Kirk drew McCoy in close for a kiss, then let his hands skate up over McCoy's back, and traced circles on the sensitive skin right at McCoy's hair line. McCoy have thought that the taste of his own come in Kirk's mouth would be a turn off, but instead he began to feel his heart pound under Kirk's tender ministrations. When McCoy could no longer swallow the needy gasps and moans Kirk gave McCoy one more fleeting kiss, and put his hands at the neck of McCoy's shirt. He gripped the neck of the shirt tightly in his fists, and ripped it from McCoy.

He turned and swept the objects from the table with one arm while guiding a now naked McCoy towards it. Kirk backed him up over to and then onto the table, letting one hand push McCoy down on to the table top. Kirk reached into his pants pocket, and removed a tube of lubricant from it, then discarded the rest of his clothes. He draped his body over McCoy's, and McCoy shuddered at the warmth of Kirk's body at his chest, contrasted with the cool table underneath him. As Kirk reached a hand down to prepare him, he whispered in McCoy's ear.

"Do you have any idea how often I wanted to do this to you when we were at the academy? I'd come in, all wired from practice or patrol, and you'd be sitting there so serious at your desk looking for all the world like you were good enough to eat."

McCoy gasped as Kirk's slick fingers stroked spots that sent waves of pleasure shooting up his spine. "What stopped you?"

"You mean besides the fact that you were fucking terrified of me after the whole Klingon thing? I had no intention of fear being what brought you to or kept you in my bed." McCoy felt Kirk smile against his neck as his fingers hit a particularly good spot causing McCoy to gasp. "Took me forever, but I finally found something that you needed more than you feared me."

"It wasn't you I was afraid of." Kirk snorted at that and McCoy continued. "Okay, it wasn't just you. It was this too." He swept a hand down indicating the lack of space between them. "All I knew of this came from Ethan, what he'd threatened to do to me, what I'd seen him do to Jake."

Kirk pulled back so that he could look into McCoy's eyes, and ran a finger up McCoy's jaw before cupping his cheek. "I can understand being frightened by that." Kirk's hand slid back and tilted McCoy's lips towards his for a gentle kiss, the absolute antithesis of anything Ethan had ever had in mind for him. "What about now, still afraid?" McCoy shook his head and Kirk grinned. "Alright then."

He kissed McCoy again, gently at first, but with increasing passion. He swallowed McCoy's gasp as he entered him, and began a slow rhythm that left both of them breathless. He smiled when McCoy's hands came to rest on his back, with one trailing up to tangle in Kirk's hair and the other gripping his shoulder tightly. Kirk trailed kisses up along McCoy's jaw, and used his hand to work McCoy's cock.

The added stimulation caused McCoy to hiss, and grind down on Kirk's cock. Kirk began moving his hips more quickly and McCoy's gasps came faster, and Kirk growled in his ear. "Come for me, McCoy. Right fucking now." McCoy groaned, as each word in the sentence was punctuated with a staccato thrust that managed to hit McCoy's prostate at just the right angle and intensity to make him shatter. McCoy's climax and the resultant spasms brought Kirk over the edge as well, and he pulled McCoy in for a breathless kiss as he came inside him.

As Kirk sank onto McCoy for a few short seconds of recovery time he judged the bout a success. It wasn't exactly going to win him any points for stamina, but he'd still managed to bring McCoy off twice, before giving into the lust that had built over the period of his self inflicted celibacy. He gave a fleeting thought to the fact that McCoy touched him much more frequently now when they were together, and as he pulled away to allow McCoy to breathe he had to smile at the contented look on his consorts face. Excellent progress, and while he wouldn't deny that he wanted more, it was a damn sight better than what he'd started out with.

AN: Hello everyone, sorry for the length of time between updates. Kirk has been unexpectedly shy these past few months, but I finally managed to coax him out of hiding. As always thanks so much for reading, and if you liked it please do leave a review.

Next up: Kirk and McCoy, as close to fluffy as you're likely to see them.


	60. Chapter 60

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Joanna and Eleanor hit the road, Jim and McCoy hit the sheets.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 1530

After a few moments to catch his breath, Kirk forced himself away from McCoy due to the fact that the temperature of the room seemed to drop now that their passions were sated. "I did promise to have you dressed and presentable before your family got home. What do you say to moving round three to the shower?"

McCoy raised an eyebrow and rose from the table slowly gaining his balance. "This isn't a race you know."

"Oh, I know. Now that we've taken the edge off I plan on taking my time getting you all wet and slippery. You always look so damn fine with the steam putting some color in your cheeks, and the acoustics can't be beat. Those pretty little gasps and moans of yours bouncing off all that porcelain and tile, makes me hot just thinking about it."

Kirk smiled and pulled McCoy in for a kiss letting his fingers stroke the nape of his neck and enjoy the softness of McCoy's hair. "I can't wait till our next shore leave. I'll be finding us somewhere with a gigantic bathtub. As awesome as shower sex is, I can only imagine how much more fun we can have with some room to maneuver."

McCoy's dick very much did not twitch at the thought of being surrounded by massive amounts of warm water with Kirk wrapped around him like an octopus. Certainly not, he reassured himself, it had however, been a very long time since he'd enjoyed a long soak. Surely there was nothing wrong with enjoying that part of Kirk's little spring break fantasy now was there?

Kirk drew McCoy's attention back to him with a playful nip to McCoy's jaw. McCoy shivered both from Kirk's teeth and the coolness of the room. "For the moment though, I think the shower will do nicely." Kirk pulled McCoy into the bathroom, and hurried them both into the shower as the air in the cabin was chilly, and the last thing that Kirk wanted was for McCoy to catch a chill.

Once in the shower Kirk wasted no time pushing McCoy back against the wall of the shower and kissing him fiercely as the water poured over them. He didn't begrudge McCoy the time with his daughter, but he'd gotten spoiled, and was happy to have unlimited exclusive access to his consort for the next few hours. He'd missed being able to take what he wanted when they were together, without risk of offending delicate sensibilities.

Kirk was pleasantly surprised when McCoy not only responded to the kiss, but arched his head back and bared his throat to Kirk. He smiled and leaned in placed a chaste kiss on the offered flesh, before trailing kisses up to McCoy's ear and nipping his earlobe. "So eager for me to mark you again, you want me to claim you so that everyone can see it, don't you?" Kirk smiled as a blush that he was sure had nothing to do with the steam covered McCoy's cheeks. He chuckled as McCoy avoided his eyes, and stroked the soft skin of McCoy's throat gently. "Don't worry sweetheart, I won't make you say it. But you are right, it's been far too long since you've worn my marks for the whole world to see."

He pulled McCoy close, proceeded to kiss McCoy breathless, and then pulled away with a smile. "Later though, I did promise to have you presentable in a few hours. And I don't think that either of us wants to explain to Jo what those marks mean anytime soon. After that phone call though…" With a scorching look that made McCoy gasp, Kirk clearly promised to rectify the situation later. Then McCoy was biting his lip to swallow his gasps as soapy hands found his surprisingly responsive cock, and his nipples.

"Feels good doesn't it sweetheart?" Kirk smiled as McCoy's only response was an incoherent, but positive sounding moan. "Now isn't this so much better than tending snot nosed kids in bumfuck? No one there treated you like this did they? No one there treated you like you deserved." Kirk didn't wait for an answer before his fingers slid from McCoy's chest to his chin, tilting his mouth up for a kiss. He swallowed McCoy's gasp of shock as Kirk managed to enter him again, without turning loose of his mouth or his cock.

Kirk smirked into McCoy's mouth as he swallowed his groan. McCoy shuddered and leaned back against the tiles as his knees went weak and he saw stars as Kirk began stroking his cock in time to his thrusts. Kirk's teeth nipped at McCoy's jaw and he smiled as his breaths came faster and faster. "You know you want to come for me sweetheart, go ahead. All you have to do is feel. Feel my cock pulsing inside you, feel my hands stroking this beautiful cock of yours."

Kirk sped up his thrusts and strokes causing McCoy to gasp and shudder again. "That's it sweetheart, come for me." McCoy tensed, shuddered, and then slumped against the wall shivering despite the steaming water pouring down over him. Kirk thrust a few more times before tensing and spasming, spilling his release inside McCoy. After a few moments where they caught their breath, Kirk pulled back and kissed McCoy gently before reaching for the soap.

"Let's get you nice and clean. We're going to get you ready for that very important phone call, then we'll go out, have a nice dinner, and when we get back I'm going make you scream for me all night long. Sound like a good plan?" McCoy attempted and failed miserably a non-committal shrug, causing Kirk's smile to widen. "Good, now let's get you all nice and presentable."

Kirk smiled at the involuntary gasps and moans as McCoy tilted his head back as Kirk worked a thick lather of shampoo into his scalp. He stroked his soapy hands over McCoy's shoulders, pausing now and then to massage any tensed muscles that he found along his way. His hands trailed along McCoy's chest, then down over his stomach, and more intimate areas before standing back and gesturing for McCoy rinse away the suds.

Kirk was surprised when instead of exiting the shower he was clean as was his normal habit, McCoy grabbed the shampoo and began to lather it between his hands. Swallowing his questions, unwilling to call McCoy's attention to his unexpected overture, Kirk allowed himself to be manipulated and moved to McCoy's liking. He swallowed a few gasps of his own as McCoy's strong fingers massaged his scalp, and though the touches McCoy gave him were far less seductive than the ones that he'd received, McCoy was still touching him. Had initiated this whole thing all on his own, with no other manipulative motive that he could see at this point. That fact in and of itself was enough to make him very happy.

In short order they were both clean, and though hands lingered over certain areas a bit longer than necessary while toweling off, in short order they were both clean and dry. Loathe as Kirk was to hide McCoy's delectable body from his sight, he had promised that McCoy would be presentable for his phone call. This meant they needed to get dressed, in a relatively straight forward fashion, much to Kirk's disappointment.

When Kirk said something to that effect, McCoy raised an eyebrow as he made his way to his closet and began to get dressed. "You seem mighty sure that Jo and Mama are going to call first thing when they get there."

Kirk shrugged. "Well, your mom knows how nervous you get about them flying. And Jo is going to be way too excited to wait to call you."

McCoy gave him a pointed stare. "What did you do?" Kirk normally would have teased him a bit. But he didn't want the warmth of McCoy's good mood to dissipate, and he knew that he was still justifiably touchy about his daughter.

"She's got a couple of surprises waiting for her when she gets home. And I'm sure she's going to want to tell you all about them." At McCoy's continued stare he sighed and elaborated. "Fine, fine, I was intending it to be a surprise for you too, but if you really must know, I got her a puppy."

"You got her a puppy?" McCoy looked rather puzzled as he tried to picture Kirk in the same room as a puppy.

"Yes, Bones, a puppy. A waddling ball of fluff and adorableness, alright, but it never leaves this room. Anyone asks it was all your idea." McCoy resisted a smile at how sheepish Kirk looked at being caught doing something so nice. And how defensive his tone was, insisting that if anyone asked the ridiculously sweet gesture was McCoy's idea, as Kirk didn't want to ruin his image by being seen with a 'waddling ball of fluff and adorableness'.

"You're wrong. She's not going to call." At Kirk's puzzled expression McCoy smiled and continued. "We're going to hear her cooing over the thing from Earth. She's wanted a puppy for years, but she was too little before I left, and Jocelyn wouldn't consider anything that made a mess. That's incredibly sweet of you, Jim. Thank you."

Kirk seemed to brighten under the approval. "Your mom seemed excited about having the company too. And wait till you see them, they're sickeningly cute. Just a notch under a tribble."

"Wait, you said them. How many puppies did you get?" McCoy asked wary that Kirk's over exuberant nature might have led to him going as overboard with the pets as he had with the clothes and trinkets that he'd bought for McCoy.

"Relax, there are only two of them. They work better in pairs."

McCoy shot him a skeptical look. "Since when does a puppy need to work?"

"Since your mom threw a fit about me wanting to put guards on the house. This way Jo gets a pet, and I get the peace of mind that anything that makes it past the guys your mom doesn't know about won't live long enough to hurt your mom or Jo."

"Is there some reason that you're worried that they might need guards?"

"McCoy, it's an isolated rural farm house. An isolated rural farm house with your mother, who shot gun aside isn't getting any younger, and your young child in the house. I might be over reacting, but better safe than sorry. So when I was picking out Jo's puppy I went for dogs that are well known to protect their owners."

"Can't say that I see anything wrong with that. You do realize though you're setting some pretty high standards though. I mean, a pony, a visit on a starship, ice cream for breakfast, and a puppy."

Kirk smirked. "Wait until you see what I've got in mind for Christmas." Kirk paused and then blinked, before narrowing his eyes. "How did you know about the ice cream for breakfast thing? Jo promised she wasn't going to tell you."

McCoy smirked. "She didn't. But when she didn't try to snitch at least half of my pancakes, I figured she'd already eaten. You wiped the replicator's last order, but didn't modify the inventory. I can formulate medicinal formulas in my sleep, figuring out that the replicator was lower on the components it uses to make milk, sugar, vanilla, strawberries, chocolate, pineapple, whipped cream and a few cherries, kinda gave it away."

"On a scale of one to ten how mad are you?"

McCoy looked over at Kirk, surprised again at how unhappy McCoy's potential anger seemed to make him. "That you fed her ice cream for breakfast? Not even a two. Not something I'd like to see happen every day mind you, but she'd had a lousy night, and sneaking a banana split for breakfast with you seemed to make both of you more comfortable. Just don't make it a habit, and we're fine."

Kirk looked at him dumbfounded. "Who are you, and what have you done with my CMO?"

McCoy raised his eyebrow and snorted. "Joanna, by virtue of living with my mother, is getting all the fruits and vegetables that she should be and then some. You on the other hand just stopped avoiding green things like they were the plague. I'm a whole lot more likely to forgive Jo an occasional junk food breakfast, because she has a healthy diet the rest of the time."

Kirk shook his head as if to clear it, and still bore a puzzled look. "Somehow I never figured you for chocolate cake for breakfast dad."

"Well, I never figured you for the type to sneak ice cream for breakfast with an eight year old either. Seems that we both have a lot to learn about each other."

The conversation was interrupted by Uhura informing them that they had an incoming call, and the predicted cooing and showing off of the new family members commenced. McCoy predictably agreed with Joanna that they were the most adorable puppies ever, even though he cautioned her against sleeping with them in her bed, as once they got bigger there wouldn't be room for all three of them in the bed. There were a few more excited tales of how exciting their trip home had been, and the new Russian words that Chekov had taught her on the shuttle ride home. Then Eleanor was insisting that Jo get ready for bed, as she'd had a long day, and needed to be ready for school the next morning.

After promising that Joanna could call anytime that she wanted to, McCoy and Kirk told her good night. Once Joanna had faded from the view screen Kirk proceeded to pounce on McCoy, crowding him against his chair, and engaging him in a heated kiss before proceeding to place several love bites along McCoy's neck. After a moment Kirk pulled back, panting. "I seem to recall promising you dinner. It's been a while since we've been seen among the crew, and without an audience, there is no way I'm going to be able to keep my hands off you long enough for us to have a proper meal."

"At this point I'll remind you that nutrition nubs or shakes are a very valid option." McCoy panted, feeling his heart pounding in his chest and the heat of his cheeks under Kirk's heated gaze.

Kirk shook his head. "We've talked about that. Real food McCoy, that's non-negotiable." He stroked McCoy's jaw and gave him another heated kiss. "Besides, we're both going to need our strength." McCoy allowed himself to be guided out into the hallway, reluctantly leaving their quarters, though grabbing a meal with Kirk in the communal mess brought a sense of familiarity to the evening that was oddly comforting.

McCoy saw the man coming at Kirk just in time to duck out of Kirk's way to give him room to maneuver. He waited for an opening to stab the man with the hypo spray that he still carried, but it was unnecessary as in short order a body landed at his feet, with a knife stuck in his abdomen. Kirk leaned against the wall of the ship, looking annoyed at the blood dripping through his fingers where the knife had grazed his ribs. McCoy rushed to his side, and Kirk managed to smirk, and announce that it was only a flesh would.

Then McCoy recognized the redness creeping up Kirk's chest and went for the less lethal hypo he'd taken to carrying once he'd started hanging around Kirk. He administered the hypo only to end up cursing as Kirk slid into unconsciousness, and continued to swell. He tapped his communicator. "McCoy to Med Bay. Emergency transport needed for the Captain from his quarters to Med Bay."

"Acknowledged, Dr. McCoy, transport en route."

McCoy continued to monitor Kirk's vitals, and prayed for the antihistamine to do its job quickly. He looked at the unconscious man and glared. "Damn it, Jim, don't you dare die on me. I'm just starting to like you."

AN: Greetings gentle readers, as always I hope that you enjoyed the story. I'd apologize for the length of time between updates, but Kirk keeps smacking me upside the back of the head and telling me that apologies are signs of weakness. So instead, I'll say thanks for reading, and please, if you enjoyed the story, take a moment to let me know.

Next up: McCoy's going to need all his considerable skill to get Jim out of the mess that he's in, and the crew gets a clue as to the feelings that McCoy's so successfully hiding from himself.


	61. Chapter 61

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

AN: Kirk's in a bad way, and McCoy's insecurities rear their ugly head.

A note about posting on . I'm aware as many of you are of the recent activity as relates to adult content on this site. So far my stories have been left unscathed, and though I hope that remains so, I can't really complain too terribly badly if it doesn't. Given this, I've set up a couple of fail safes should they decide my stories are 'in poor taste'. You can find the original versions of my stories on my livejournal, and the ones that have been edited for typos and grammar on tumblr. Look for terisxenite on both.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Med Bay 1200

McCoy observed the monitors and watched Kirk looking for any sign that he'd be regaining consciousness anytime soon. There were times when McCoy really, really hated Starfleet. Today, well, it was certainly one of those days. Kirk's wound had been almost laughingly superficial, and he'd still coded on McCoy twice. The blade had been dipped in a combination of substances, presumably poisons and judging from the anaphylactic shock something that Kirk was allergic too as well. If he hadn't been right there with Kirk when he was stabbed, he would have died in that hallway. He was trying desperately not to think about how much that possibility scared him.

McCoy looked up from the monitor as he heard someone approaching, from the business like click of the heels he was going to assume that it was Chapel. The rest of his staff was still walking on eggshells around him, after their surprise at his method of removing the knife from the would be assassin. Even M'Benga looked at him warily when he'd ordered that the man was to be kept alive, but not receive any pain relief during his treatment. Unless he felt like telling them what he'd dosed the Captain with. When the man had refused, McCoy sent the knife to Spock for analysis, and started the arduous task of keeping Kirk alive long enough for them to find the antidotes they needed.

"Dr. McCoy, Spock has sent us the list of contaminates on the knife." Chapel handed him a list as he looked up, and McCoy cursed at the length of it. The assassin had hedged his bets, there were several different poisons, as well as a few things that Kirk was suspected to be allergic to. McCoy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, then took a deep breath. "Alright, here's what we're going to do." The two of them worked out the schedule of drugs that would both eliminate the poisons and minimize the damage to Kirk's body, as well as his recovery time.

As McCoy was adjusting the mixture of antihistamines and antidotes in Kirk's IV, Winona arrived looking as frantic as McCoy had ever seen her. She paused as she saw Kirk lying still on the bed, and he noticed that her eyes landed on the monitors beside him. After observing for a moment, some of the tension began to ebb away from her, as she noticed that Kirk's heart rate was steady and strong. "I'm starting to think that you really can cure a rainy day, Doctor McCoy."

"I do my best. He's going to be cranky and sore, but he'll live."

"It seems that once again, I'm in your debt, Doctor. Rest assured, I'm not likely to forget that."

McCoy shrugged. "Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment ma'am, but we both know that had not a damn thing to do with my saving him."

"And I'm all the more grateful for that." She took a moment to draw up the mask of composure that she typically wore in public, and then she studied him in a way that he'd find unnerving if he hadn't been used to Kirk's intense stare. "I notice that you seem far more at ease, I take it that you're finding it's not quite as difficult being in my son's care as you thought it would be?"

And this was so not a conversation that he wanted to be having, ever. Though he supposed at least he could be certain that Med Bay wasn't bugged, and it wasn't like Sulu's men cared about his flirtations with the Captain. They'd learned the hard way that observing Kirk too closely was dangerous for one's health, particularly when he'd any amount of perceived weakness. "He's been far more generous that I'd any reason to expect."

Winona smiled and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Well of course he has dear. He cares for you a great deal."

"I'm starting to get that distinct impression."

"And I'm starting to get the impression that this isn't as one sided as you would have thought."

McCoy resisted the urge to squirm under her satisfied look. He might be happier than he'd been in a good while, but that certainly wasn't something that he was planning on sharing. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Winona arched an eyebrow. "So you make a practice of denying patients with stab wounds pain medication? Somehow I doubt that, if you were that ruthless, then you'd have had no need for my son's protection in the first place."

McCoy grimaced, that had been a gut reaction to his need to know immediately what to treat Kirk for, and once it had been made he couldn't take it back without appearing weak. He'd been hoping that somehow Kirk wouldn't find out about that particular incident. "You heard about that?"

"Of course I did. The whole ship is abuzz with the news that their typically gentle doctor went feral on the Captain's attacker. A fair amount of speculation is going around, though most of it erroneously attributes your actions to wanting to protect your benefactor."

McCoy felt his shoulders slump, it wasn't that he hadn't been aware that there would be talk. But between Kirk's focused attentions and his family's visit, he'd managed to forget the rest of Starfleet, and what they surely must be saying about him at this point. To have his attention called to it so clearly was like a bucket of ice water spilled over him. "So they believe me to be a greedy whore, that's just great."

Winona's eyes grew cold and her voice dangerous. "Rest assured Dr. McCoy, no one will ever call you a whore and live without regretting it. If Jim doesn't ensure that, I will."

"You think that makes it better? No matter what happens to the ones stupid enough to say it to my face, they're all still thinking it."

"None the less, you're a member of this family now, and we will protect you." She reached up and stroked his jaw, and he would almost swear he saw sympathy in her eyes. "I know that it's hard. I remember the whispers when I became George's woman and the rumors when he died. I understand how painful that can be in ways that Jim or Chris never could, but trust me it's far safer to have them believe you a mercenary whore than a love sick fool. You're safer if you let them believe the lie."

McCoy shrugged. "Not really that much of a lie truth be told."

She looked at him for a moment searching his face for some further explanation. "Sweetheart, surely you don't really think that?"

"Why wouldn't I? It's true enough. I'm trading myself for Jo's protection. Jim's been far better than I had any reason to believe he would be, but that doesn't change the fact that our relationship started as a financial transaction. If that doesn't make me a whore I don't know what would."

Winona tisked and shook her head. "Leonard, you allied yourself with someone stronger to protect yourself and your child. That doesn't make you a whore, it only means you're a devoted father and smart enough to know your limitations." Seeing that he still seemed unconvinced she sighed. "Does Jim know you feel this way?" At his horrified look, she smirked. "I thought not. He'd be doggedly trying to disabuse you of such a foolish notion."

He shifted uncomfortably and she raised a hand to quiet his protest. "Don't worry, I have no intention of telling him. Besides, it'd do me little good. The problem isn't what he thinks or feels about the situation. It's how you feel about things that matters."

"I don't know how to change that."

"Watch and listen. Not to those pathetically jealous peons, who would go out of their way to wound you if they dared. Listen to the people who matter, pay attention to how they treat you. Do you think for example, that I'd be particularly concerned about your mental state and emotional well being if you were just some momentary fling of Jim's? Do you really think that Jim would care for you as well as he has if he didn't truly value you?"

After a moment's consideration and realizing that he wouldn't be escaping this without giving her some kind of answer, he shrugged. "I guess not."

"I know not. Do you realize that you're the only person that Jim's ever actually wanted me to meet? "

McCoy swallowed the joy that started to rise in him at the thought. After years of people telling him that he was weak and worthless, it was so very tempting to believe that Jim really meant it when told McCoy he was special. But as he began to hope a lifetime worth of ghosts whispered that those who would insult him were right, and that it was only a matter of time before Kirk figured it out. And then he'd be alone again.

He turned his attention to Kirk's vitals, seeking solace in the one area in which he trusted his own skill. He'd known even before he'd looked that they were stable, and hadn't changed during his talk with Winona. It was he acknowledged a cop out to avoid having to address the painful topics of his own self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. "He'll be awake soon. Once he's conscious and stable I'll have him taken back to his quarters to recover. He was right, Med Bay is a lot more difficult to defend from assassination attempts."

"Nice to see my son's sense of pragmatics is wearing off on you, Doctor. And I'll let it lie for now, but don't think that we're done with this conversation."

No, of course not, that would make my life far, far too easy. "He's not going to be happy with the length of recovery time, but that's hardly anything new."

Winona smiled softly. "No, that's not new, he's been that way since he was a child. Never has liked being out of commission for even the shortest periods of time. You might have to tie him down to make sure he follows your orders."

McCoy looked at her and decided that for his sanity he was going to go with the she didn't mean that in the way that it sounded. "Been there done that, he either manages to work the knots loose or he chews through the restraints."

"That's my boy." She chuckled, and after a moment offered. "Well, you could always try the trick I used to keep him in bed when he needed to rest."

"What's that?"

"Bribe him."

"And what exactly am I supposed to bribe him with?"

"Well when he was younger I used ice cream, but considering that you're pretty much his favorite pursuit at the moment, I'm sure you can figure out something."

McCoy resisted the urge to inform Winona that he wouldn't be clearing Jim for his favorite pastime for at least a week. While Winona was amazingly frank about that particular aspect of Kirk's life, that just seemed to cross the line. There was, he reasoned no need to be crass, but he acknowledged that perhaps she was right. He could probably get Jim to stay in bed now, provided that he offered to stay with him and keep him company. And if all else failed, there were always sedatives.

AN: Thanks so much for reading, as always if you enjoyed, please let me know. Your comments make my day, and make Kirk strut around like a peacock while McCoy rolls his eyes.

Next up: Kirk isn't exactly a model patient.


	62. Chapter 62

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

Through A Mirror Darkly

Captain's Quarters 1800

The first three days of Kirk's recovery were, much to McCoy's relief, uneventful. Of course that might have something to do with the fact that Kirk had been pumped so full of antihistamines that he'd slept through the first seventy or so hours. McCoy hadn't been sure if he should smile or brace for impact when Kirk's eyes met his without the fevered haze that had accompanied his waking moments previously. He was fairly certain that Kirk would be annoyed at the fact that McCoy had transported him to their quarters while he was unconscious instead of pumping his already taxed system with stimulants so that he could walk under his own power. It wouldn't do, after all to have the captain appear weak, never mind the fact that he'd almost died less than a week ago.

Kirk took the water that McCoy offered him, and swallowed gladly letting it moisten his dry throat. "How long was I out?"

"Three days. The crew is under the impression that the reason you've not been seen is that I won't let you leave our quarters. Your reputation is getting quite a boost, if half the rumors Uhura has told me are actually making the rounds."

Kirk's lips quirked up in a smile. "Really now, what's scuttlebutt saying about us this time?"

McCoy blushed profusely causing Kirk's smile to widen. "Well apparently the latest rumor is that I'm a nymphomaniac and have you tied to the bed. According to that one Spock is giving us to the end of the week to complete our illogical human mating ritual." Kirk chuckled only to wince as the action pulled on the still tender muscles of his abdomen.

"Sorry about that. The cocktail that jackass used on you was particularly nasty, and the antidotes don't mix well with the regen process, particularly with your immune system."

Kirk winced, then set his jaw. "So the old fashioned way it is then." Kirk lifted the blanket and grimaced when he saw the catheter. "Get rid of this thing would you. I plan to hit the head, shower, and eat a horse."

McCoy shook his head even as he was gathering the tools needed to remove the catheter. "You can lose the catheter, and we can work something out with the shower. No horse though. The primary side effect of your meds is nausea. And trust me, you only think that laughing hurt. Where that injury is throwing up would be decidedly unpleasant. We'll start you on clear liquids, and if you handle those ok we'll work you up towards a horse."

McCoy noticed that Kirk was as close to pouting as he'd ever seen him, but he didn't move away from him as he removed the catheter or checked the wound. In short order McCoy had removed all the tubes and was supporting Kirk as he slowly walked to the bathroom. He called Yeoman Rand for a change of sheets while they were showering. Then he helped steady Kirk so he didn't fall over while he was attending to his business. Kirk swayed on his feet on the way to the shower, and McCoy lent him a strong shoulder. "I hate this."

"I know you do, but you'll be back to killing Klingons before you know it. For now let's get you that shower, and then it's back to bed with you." He pulled Kirk into the shower and dutifully ignored the fact that he leaned heavily against the cool tiles. He swatted Kirk's hands away from the soap, and taking it in his own hand began to wash away the grime left behind by several days' sponge baths.

Kirk tilted his head back into McCoy's hands and sighed at the feeling of his fingers massaging shampoo into his scalp. After a moment of relaxation, he seemed to force himself back to alertness, or as close to it as he was likely to get at the moment. "So how long am I in for this time warden?" The attempt at levity fell flat, as Kirk seemed to be having a hard time keeping his eyes open, much less emitting the bad ass vibe that he normally pulled off in Med Bay when demanding to be released.

"Oh, about another week and a half." Kirk looked ready to argue, and McCoy held up a hand to forestall any complaints. "You have a complicated, nasty stab wound. One that I'm being forced to let heal naturally, because if I accelerate it, I risk putting you into shock again. So the crew will just have to deal with Spock until you're mended to my satisfaction."

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't gonna complain, you're doing wonders for our reputations, keeping me locked in here all to yourself. Good thing we're on exploratory missions to that empty star system, since you've decided that you simply have to have me right now." Kirk attempted a wink, and McCoy snorted.

"There will be no having of anybody in this room for at least a week, maybe more. I catch you doing anything that'll bust those stitches open, I really will tie you to the damn bed."

"Always knew you were a kinky bastard, Bones." During this banter, McCoy had finished shampooing Kirk's hair and lathering up his body. So in lieu of a response he tugged Kirk under the water, washing away the last traces of soap, before stepping out of the shower and wrapping him in a fluffy towel.

"You doing ok? Room spinning? Dizzy? Nauseous?" McCoy studied the man before him, and seemed to be testing the wisdom of letting him stand on his own two feet.

Kirk shook his head agitatedly. "I'm fine, just exhausted. What the hell are you giving me?"

"Heavy pain killers, and antihistamines. Now, back to bed with you, we've got some nice ginger ale with your name on it waiting in the other room."

"Don't want ginger ale." Kirk grumbled.

"I know you're hungry, if the ginger ale doesn't come right back up, we'll move on to jello. I'll get you up to real food as soon as I can, but I'm not doing you any favors by pushing it and letting you get sick."

As he helped Kirk get situated in the bed and brought the ginger ale, Kirk pinned him with a what he'd almost call a pitiful look. "At least tell me that the lucky bastard who got this cheap shot in is suffering?"

"He's dead actually. Didn't make it through a day with Chekov, of course the wonder kid was pretty pissed off at him."

"Got to teach him not to give into the anger, he kills people too quickly when he's angry. Sets a bad precedent."

"I wouldn't worry about that right now. Just relax, and let your meds do what they're supposed to do, ok." After taking the mostly empty ginger ale away from Kirk, McCoy gathered a clean bandage and some antiseptic. "This is going to be a little cold, but it shouldn't hurt. If anything feels strange, tell me alright?" As Kirk nodded, McCoy disinfected the wound, applied some additional healing gel, and covered the whole thing with a loose bandage.

"There now, all done. You going to behave and get some rest, or do I need to get the ropes out?"

Kirk gave a tired shrug. "Depends."

"On what?" McCoy asked, warring with his urge to be snarky with the man. It wouldn't do to let Kirk know that he'd been worried sick about him.

"If you stay with me." Kirk patted the bed beside him and gave him a hopefully look.

McCoy crossed his arms over his chest, and pinned Kirk with a serious medical business look. "I meant what I said earlier. No sex for at least a week, maybe longer."

"Doesn't mean you can't stay with me. Bed's too cold without you in it." And damn if those partially slurred words, and those hopeful blue eyes didn't melt his heart, no matter how much he decidedly did not want to have feelings for James T. Kirk. He'd made do on the sofa or in the chair for the past few days when he'd been monitoring Kirk, and though he'd bite his own tongue off before he'd admit it, he had missed sleeping beside him.

"Alright, I'll be your human hot water bottle. But no funny business that could pop those stitches."

Kirk grunted something that sounded like assent, then he tugged McCoy onto the bed. "Enough with the worrying. Here I am trying to follow my doctor's orders and get some rest, and my pillows being all grumbly."

"Go to sleep, Jim. You'll feel better when you wake up."

Captain's Quarters 1200

Much to McCoy's every regret, he was right. Kirk did feel better when he woke. Well enough, in fact, to begin the familiar refrain of how bored he was on bed rest. "But, Bones, I'm bored."

"You've been awake less than a day. You've already worked your way up to solid foods, which is a small miracle in and of itself. I'm not letting you take a walk around the ship. I don't care if you are bored, or if you take your pet hobgoblin with you!"

"There's no need to yell." Kirk gave an injured sniff, and wouldn't make eye contact in a way he knew would make McCoy feel like an ass.

He grabbed Kirk's chin and tugged until Kirk's gaze met his own. "Alright, let's get this over with now. What'll it take for you to rest, take your medicine, and not drive me crazy?"

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "Why doctor, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were offering me a bribe."

"Nice to see that you're aware enough to recognize it for what it is, now what do you want?"

Kirk gave him an appraising glance. "I'm not going to make any long term promises, but for the moment." He paused. "Ice cream and a story."

McCoy arched an eyebrow and looked down at the man in slight disbelief. "Ice cream and a story? So you're twelve now?"

"Never said it had to be a kid's story. There's a ton of stuff I don't know about you. So, story and ice cream, and I won't try to bust out of here for at least two hours."

McCoy arched an eyebrow. "Six."

Kirk waited a beat, seeming to consider the offer. "Four."

McCoy sighed, pinched the bridge on his nose, and ceded the point. "Fine, four, what kind of ice cream do you want?"

AN: Greetings gentle readers. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I'll do my best to update more frequently, but for the moment my free time is rather limited. As always thanks for reading, and please do let me know if you're enjoying the story. I'm also posting on AO3 now, feel free to come visit me, folks are mighty quiet over there.

Next up: Just because Kirk can't partake in his favorite activity, doesn't mean that he's going to neglect McCoy's needs.


	63. Chapter 63

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.

Through A Mirror Darkly

The next few days of Kirk's recovery continued in much the same matter. Kirk continued to protest that he was bored, and McCoy would ply him with sweets or stories to keep him from undoing all of his hard work. McCoy had come to appreciate the bright eyed interest in his stories, and filed away the few confidences that Kirk shared in return. He should have known that such tranquility and Kirk were diametrically opposed, and that the reprieve would be short lived.

After the third day of sweets and stories, McCoy was woken by mint and honeyed kisses, along with touches that teasingly skimmed over areas embarrassingly eager for Kirk's attention. Eyes still heavy with sleep, he turned into the warmth of the kiss and the pleasure of the touches, momentarily forgetting that Kirk was on a medically mandated sexual hiatus. Clarity was restored as his fingers brushed the dressing on Kirk's side. His eyes snapped open, and sleepy satisfaction was rapidly replaced by aggravation.

He pulled back from Kirk's touch and pinned him with a disgruntled glare. "What part of no sex for at least a week wasn't clear to you?"

"The part where you have to go without just because I can't join you." Kirk stroked one finger along McCoy's jaw making him shiver. "I told you I'd take care of you, and I meant it."

McCoy blushed and bristled for a moment. "Contrary to whatever twisted expectation you might have, I can go more than a week without sex."

"Can doesn't mean that you should, or that you have to." Kirk leaned in close and cupped McCoy's cheek. "I never intend for you to be left wanting for pleasure or satisfaction in my bed, sweetheart. And protest all you like, but unless you've taken to sleeping with your tricorder, there's a rather eloquent indication that you're attention starved pressing into hip at the moment."

McCoy glared at Kirk, and moved to pull away, only to find that Kirk's strength, like the rest of him had been healing quite nicely. "It's nothing that a cold shower won't fix."

"I'd tell you to bite your tongue, but then you'd be breaking that agreement that we came to about no self harm." Kirk stroked his fingers over McCoy's hip and up along his side, and smiled softly at the unconscious twitch at the touch. "No man of mine is going to be taking cold showers while I'm conscious. You've taken very good care of me, and put up with an enormous amount of bitching, whining and complaining from me in the past few days. I'm awake, it's been twelve hours since my last pain meds, so you can't say I'm not in my right mind, and I really want you in my hand or mouth in the next sixty seconds."

Kirk cut off the pending argument by pulling McCoy in for an intense kiss. McCoy seemed to waver slightly before pulling away and giving Kirk his strongest glare. "I meant what I said about those stitches, and you were supposed to have had pain medication in the pills I gave you with dinner."

"I did, I palmed it. It's on the bedside table. Knew that if I took it you wouldn't let me do this." Kirk resisted the urge to laugh at the absurdity of having to try this hard to talk an aroused man into a blow job.

"Keep that up, and next time it'll be a hypo." Kirk gave McCoy his best contrite look, the one that would fool anyone who didn't know James T Kirk, and innocently trailed a fingertip along the length of McCoy's errection.

"You know most men would be jumping at the chance I'm offering you right now."

McCoy disentangled himself from Kirk's hands and glared at him, going so far to slap Kirk's hand when he reached for him again. "And most men aren't responsible for putting you back together if you rip those stitches."

Kirk gave McCoy an aggravated look and sighed deeply. "I so solemnly swear that I won't rip my stitches. Lie back, and close your eyes." McCoy started to protest, before Kirk gave him a glare of his own. "I said I was going to take care of you, and I meant it. Manhandling you would be just as likely to pop those stitches open wouldn't it?"

McCoy glared, then seeing the determined look in Kirk's eyes he lay back reluctantly crossing his arms over his chest. "I see so many hypos in your future." Any further protest was silenced as Kirk covered McCoy's lips with his own and let his hands begin to wander. Kirk continued the kiss until he was swallowing moans of pleasure instead of irritated threats.

"Now sweetheart, there's no need for that." Kirk stroked his fingers over McCoy's hardened length, watching in satisfaction as his hips rose towards the touch. "Everything is going to be fine, I'm going to take such good care of you. You've been so very patient these last few days, and it's time that was rewarded." Kirk rolled onto his good side and leaned on his elbow. Then he turned McCoy's head towards him and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss.

"Now I mean it, close your eyes."

McCoy closed his eyes, but gave a displeased sigh as he did so. This brought a soft smile to Kirk's face as he stroked his fingers up and down McCoy's chest. "You have no idea how beautiful you are. How much I enjoy watching you gasp and moan for me. The next time we're planet side, I'm going to make good on that rumor going around the ship. I'm going to fuck you until the only thing that you can begin to think of is how good it feels to be filled to the brim with my cock. I'm going to make you come until you're incoherent, and so over stimulated that the slightest breeze or brush of my hand makes you tremble."

McCoy's breath caught, Kirk wasn't known for making idle threats. And he'd brought him to the point that even the lightest of touches could make him quiver, so he knew that such a state was indeed possible. "I'm going to mark you, and when we come back on board every single person on this ship will know that you're mine. They'll know when they hear the roughness in your voice that you've been moaning and screaming for me for days."

Kirk smiled as McCoy shifted at the dirty talk, and leaned into the warmth of his body. He allowed his fingers to trail lightly over McCoy's stomach, keeping the touch light and teasing. "I'm going to kiss you for hours, run my hands over you until I know every inch of that soft skin of yours. I'm going to enjoy watching you blush. I'm going to enjoy listening to those little hitching gasps of yours right before you come, and those contented little sighs you make when you settle down to sleep right after you've been fucked into incoherence."

Kirk smirked when he looked down and saw that McCoy's cock had become damp with precome, it wouldn't take much as accustomed as McCoy had become to frequent stimulation and how little he'd had in the past few days. "I'm going to take your cock in my mouth, and swallow you down to the root. Then I'm going to tease you with my tongue until you beg, then I'm going to let you come down my throat. You remember how very much you enjoyed it, the last time I used my mouth on you? Remember how good it felt to be surrounded by all that moist, tight heat?"

McCoy teeth worried his lip as his breath came fast, and a blush had spread across McCoy's cheeks and down his chest. Kirk's fingers stroked McCoy's tightened nipple, and watched McCoy tremble as he pinched the swollen flesh. "You want to come don't you sweetheart?" McCoy's hips canted both at the question and the continued pressure on his nipples, and he gave a wordless nod.

"Normally I'd make you say it, but you've been so good to me the last few days I won't make you beg. Come for me sweetheart." McCoy's hips twitched and he gave a frustrated groan at not enough friction and too much tension. "It's all right sweetheart, let go. Come for me." Another frustrated groan make Kirk frown. "Looks like you're not quite there yet then. What a pity, you'd been making so much progress. Guess we're doing this the old fashioned way then."

Kirk reached down and let his fingers circle McCoy's cock, and began stroking it in time to McCoy's rapid breathing. A few strong quick pulls and McCoy was bucking towards him slightly, and a few more had him tensing and coming in Kirk's hand. As McCoy lay panting and spent Kirk chuckled softly. "Now see, wasn't that so very much better than a cold shower?"

McCoy's eyes met his and he could see him assessing his condition even through his afterglow induced stupor. "Relax, not a stitch pulled, much less popped I promise." He held his hands out to let McCoy see that the dressing at his side was undisturbed. "Still feel like hypoing me?"

McCoy shook his head and snuggled back into the pillow. "Can't say I feel like doing much after that."

Kirk wrapped his arm around McCoy and almost managed to hide a wince as the move pulled on still healing muscles. McCoy reached over to the bedside table and plucked the pain pill that Kirk had palmed earlier and held it out to him. "I'm not going to hypo you with it. But I'd appreciate it if you did take it. You'll heal better if you aren't hurting."

Kirk sighed and took the pill from McCoy's hand swallowing it without protest. "The things I do for you, McCoy. You're going to ruin my reputation you know."

McCoy patted the arm Kirk had stretched across his waist. "Nah, they all think we're having massive amounts of kinky sex remember."

Kirk relaxed at the reminder. "That could be arranged." He gave McCoy a wink. "Just say the word." The offer was somewhat ruined by a huge yawn, and a frown. "Damn that stuff works fast."

McCoy smiled as Kirk began to yawn and nod. "Less the meds than exhaustion at this point. Sleep now, we'll discuss the kinky sex when you wake up."

"Promises, promises." Kirk tightened his grip on McCoy and quickly fell asleep. Once he'd slipped under McCoy gave him a quick once over before settling into bed himself. If tonight had been any indication, the rest of Kirk's recovery was going to be interesting.

AN: Greetings gentle readers. I apologize for the length of time between updates. Rest assured that the story has not been abandoned and I hope to update with more frequency in the near future. As always thank you so much for reading, and if you enjoyed this chapter please do let me know.

Next chapter: Learn why Kirk is always so commanding in bed, and what area he thinks that McCoy has made progress in.


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